Lisa Rinna’s Sequin Zebra Print Outfit at the Rinna Beauty Disco Party

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 12 Episode 15 Fashion

Lisa Rinna looks totally ready to boogie at her Rinna Beauty disco party on this week’s episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in her sequin zebra print outfit. Which she paired with the perfect ’70s-esque accessory — some Big Blonde Brown Hair. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to See Her Balenciaga Top

Balenciaga Leggings Sold Out at Net-a-Porter

Originally posted at: Lisa Rinna’s Sequin Zebra Print Outfit

For most of us, if
we were heard in our past, it was within limits. More often than not, our
generation of women let men do the talking. We worked hard behind the scenes,
and consciously or unconsciously, allowed others to have the voice.

Now we are free to be
who we are, for ourselves, and for people who are important to us. It’s time we
are heard. One way is to tell our stories.

Humans have been
telling stories since we lived in caves. It is how we first exercised our voice;
how we get others to know us and experience what we experience. Storytelling is
in our DNA. We have an innate ability to tell stories. Here are five ways to revive
this skill.

Believe You Have a Story to Tell

If you don’t think
you have a story, or your story is not important, or that no one would care to
hear it – stop! You have a lifetime of stories.
You are an expert in your own life, and you have something to share.

Your story can
bring a smile or a thought from back when, it can tell us something about who
we are, where we’ve come from, and what matters.

Your most impactful
stories are the
ordinary ones.They are the stories women will
relate to. When women hear your story, they might think, “That happened to me, I
am not alone.”

Organize Your Story

It’s true that
events in your life may seem random and unconnected. From a story point of view,
however, it’s better to have a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Think about how
events are part of a journey toward making you the person you are today. Sharing
your stories can help you identify events. It also helps you remember details.

You are the author
of your life. You have a lifetime of stories. Organize them in the way they fit
in your mind and you believe makes sense.

In Dixie’s story, her landlord butchered a pig (beginning). Her son was curious and wished to witness the event, while her daughter ran in the opposite direction (middle). She acknowledges the family’s adventure through this experience (end).

Mireya’s story started when she broke away from a relationship (beginning). She went on a road trip alone (middle) and came face to face with herself, literally; bit the bullet, and moved on (end).

In my story, I started by
sharing what a monster my father was when I was a child (beginning). I expanded
on how I learned to love him as an adult (middle). As I learned to love him, I was
able to remember moments of sweetness with him as a child (end).

Don’t Judge Your Stories

Give your memories
and ideas a chance to live a little before you label them “not interesting.”

Remember that you
have a story. If you judge your story, you’ll shut your voice. Instead, explore.
Wonder. Feel. Let your story come out and play. Your storytelling becomes better
the more you share, and especially when you learn your why.

Along the Way, Explore Your Why

In the third most
watched talk on Ted.com, Simon Sinek explains that it is not enough for
organizations to know what they do and how they do it, they must know why. The
most successful organizations know their why. (Other than to make a profit,
which Sinek says is a result rather than a cause.)

Your why may be to
have fun, to try something new and see where it goes. To be heard. You may want
your children to know about how you grew up. Or inspire women with your story
of resilience; if you can do it, so can they. You may want to make us laugh and
spread joy.

You may have a strong
why buried inside you, or not. Exploring it and asking yourself what is
meaningful to you, what brings you joy, or peace, or excitement – whatever you may seek – adds
an exciting aspect to your storytelling, which can be invigorating.

Know that your why
can change. Exploring it strengthens your voice.

I started StorySistas in 2016, after I began writing
a play about five best girlfriends who were turning 60. It was lonely work.

In my almost 20
years in Austin then, I had not gone out and made friends beyond my immediate
neighbors and the mothers of my children’s best friends.

I shared a story at
a gathering and loved the experience so much, I decided that more than
anything, I wanted to gather with women my age and swap stories. My why was I
did not want to feel alone making up bff’s in my head. I wanted to have girlfriends,
lots of girlfriends.

As I started
sharing stories, I felt a strong connection to the me in those stories. When I
told a story from back when I was 14, about my brother’s circumcision, I began
remembering details of 14-year-old me.

I asked my siblings
if they remembered the “event,” and we talked for hours. Each sibling had their
own version of the story – especially the brother who was
circumcised!

When I shared this
story at a gathering, I connected with listeners. Family dysfunction is
universal, even if circumcising nine-year-olds is not. I love the connection.

When I tell stories,
I see past events with a dual perspective – from
the point of view of then, and from the experience I carry now. For instance, when
my mother asked me to care for her when I was three, my three-year-old self did
not know better and accepted.

Now at 63, I know
the burden was not for me to carry. After 60 years, I put down the load and feel
lighter. The more I tell the story, the lighter I feel; the more of me emerges.

See a Past Event with Your Mature Eyes and Tell That Story

Did you date the
bad boy in college? Did you marry him? Tell that story from the perspective of
your mature self – with all the things that life
has put into you. How would you tell the story? Is it a funny story? Poignant? Inspiring?
All three? However you tell your story, let your voice be heard.

According to Dr. Sherry Hamby, a Research Professor of Psychology, “People who have found their voice, shared their story, and reaffirmed their values often find a sense of peace and a hopefulness that they did not have before.”

Is this true for
you?

How often do you
share your life stories? Who is your usual audience? Are there lives you know
your stories have changed? What kind of story is yours? Please share with our
community!

I just can’t find the time.

In my work with women who are looking to redefine in some way on this side of 50, time (or lack thereof) is seemingly the number one barrier standing in their way.

But, as we dig further, in most cases, time is not the real issue. It typically goes deeper than that, and time is a great scapegoat for the women in our community.

Change Is Scary

Lack of time is an easy, believable cover up. To us and to those around us. Having the excuse of time can often prevent us from having to face the real mindset barriers that might be standing in the way of our growth.

As we consider redefinition in any aspect of our lives on this side of 50, we are likely considering change. But we are wired to fear change.  There is a part of our brain called the amygdala which interprets change as an actual threat to our physical being and releases hormones that set off our fear, flight or fight response.

The evil we know is better than the evil we don’t. At least in our thinking. Our brains and our bodies prefer familiar routine and control.

In addition, many of us operate from a long-held core belief system that has been in place since we were children. These core beliefs can give us thoughts such as:

• I’ve never been good at _____, so I’m not even going to try;
• The world is not a safe place;
• People can’t be trusted;
• I’m not worthy, good enough, or smart enough.

We often aren’t aware of these core beliefs and just how much effect they have on every decision we make or don’t make.

Negative core beliefs, along with our biological fear of change, can easily stop us in our tracks along the way. And staying “busy” with the people and roles we have in place becomes an easy excuse.

Maybe, Though, You Really Just Don’t Have Time!

Many of us are legitimately very busy, continuing to juggle the various roles that we have in our lives. We often continue to caretake – now for aging parents, partners, and grandchildren – often while working. We wake up each morning and spend the day reacting to the needs of those around us.

And then we end the day wondering where time went!

Tips and Tricks to Gain Some Control Over Your Time

Time Tracking

Take a week and track how you spend your time. You will be amazed at the amount of time actually spent playing Candy Crush Saga, Words with Friends (I had to delete the game from my phone, finally), or aimlessly scrolling social media. It’s more than “just five minutes” for most of us.

Use those fun things as a reward for successfully completing a block of actual focus time.

Focus Time

Set aside some focus time each day to work on something for you. Whether it’s time to journal or do your reflections, time to walk or exercise, take steps towards your next project – schedule some “you time” and have a plan for it. Even if it’s 20-30 minutes.

Set your timer, put your phone away, and don’t allow any interruptions. You will be amazed at what you can get done in 20 minutes of focused time.

Treat this time each day as a priority. Put it on your calendar as you would a doctor appointment or a work call.

Multitasking Is Counterproductive

One of the coaches in my blogging mastermind, talked last year about how when we shift focus, it takes our brain 20 minutes to get back into full focus on the task we are working on.

Let’s say you’ve decided to journal for 20 minutes. But then you get a text. You answer that. And go back to journaling. And get an email which you answer. And go back to journaling.

Your 20 minute timer goes off. In that time, you’ve probably actually journaled for 10 minutes, if you’re lucky. And your brain never had a chance to really focus on the task at hand. Your reflecting and journaling wasn’t given the attention that it deserved at all during that 20 minutes.

More Time Is Not the Solution

In most cases, more time will not create more or different results.  We tend to get done what we need to in the amount of time that we are given. When we give ourselves more time, we stretch out our deadline to obtain the same results.

Carve out that time in your day, each day, to do that thing for you. Whatever it might be. Don’t keep putting it off.

Do you have trouble finding time in the day to do something just for you? As you look at it, is it truly lack of time or something else coming into play?

Crystal Kung Minkoff’s Pink Faux Fur Coat at the Rinna Beauty Disco Party

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 12 Episode 15 Fashion

Crystal Kung Minkoff looks freakin’ fabulous in the hot pink fur coat she wears as part of her costume to the Rinna Beauty disco party on this week’s episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And that fact that it’s actually faux? We totally dig it baby.

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to See Her Apparis Coat

Click Here to Shop Similar Sunglasses

Styling: @TheClothingTherapist

Photo & Info: @CrystalKungMinkoff

Originally posted at: Crystal Kung Minkoff’s Pink Faux Fur Coat

Mindfulness is something I have practised throughout my life, and you probably have too, without giving it a name. It is neither obscure nor exotic, and it doesn’t require us to change who we are. We already have the ability to be in the present and observe what is going on around us.

If we make the effort, we can understand ourselves and other people. It’s when we focus our thinking honestly on ourselves and how we live life, with a view to improving ourselves and our world, that we practise mindfulness.

Where Mindfulness Was First Recognised

Originally from India, and expressed in classical Vedanta Hinduism, the idea of mindfulness spread into Eastern thinking and culture. The word itself derives from sati, a Buddhist tradition. Sati translates from Pali into English as “mindfulness.”

Hinduism explains that on achieving moksha, meaning realisation on a deep spiritual and emotional level of one’s union with the Brahman – that is, the Great Spirit, the Universe – one becomes tranquil and accepts life as it is. We are all part of the Life Force, and the universe is as it should be.

Relax and Let Life Flow as It Will

Life becomes less stressful when we realise that we don’t need to control anyone else or the world around us. We let the world unfold as it should, and we let other people develop fully into being truly themselves. We understand that we have our own small part to play in the great drama, as has everyone else.

We accept our responsibility for ourselves and give others the responsibility to work out their own part. Within the framework of Hinduism, Buddhism, and Daoism, advice is given as to the best way to live within dharma, meaning in harmony with nature. This includes the idea of mindfulness: living life mindfully, examining one’s own behaviour in the light of moksha and dharma.

Mindfulness in the Western World

A good book to read on the subject is Wherever You Go, There You Are, by Jon Kabat-Zinn (1993). Kabat-Zinn is recognised as being the westerner who has had the most influence in promoting mindfulness outside of its original religious framework.

He moved it into the secular world as a scientific practice. It was around this time, living in Vancouver, that I became interested in the ideas of mindfulness. I found it useful to be able to put a scientific slant on what I had always done naturally but in not such a focused way.

Mindfulness in Maturity

As Socrates said over two thousand years ago, “An unexamined life is not worth living!” The basic ideas are to live in the moment, accept life as it is, and live life to the fullest in harmony with ourselves, with the people around us, and with nature.

In other words, we must develop the attitudes of a mature human being.

We can begin to cultivate these innate qualities with meditation, a practice that has been used in Eastern cultures for thousands of years and is now being used in the West. As we begin to experience it, we realise its benefits. This process is a way of quieting the mind, and by using guided meditation and lucid dreaming, we can direct our thinking towards the positive side of life.

No Need to Change Belief System

Mindfulness is a practice that cultivates universal human qualities and doesn’t require people to change their belief systems. It’s being aware of every facet of one’s life honestly, with acceptance of reality. We gain self-awareness by observing our own minds in action, and this increases our understanding of ourselves and other people.

Mindfulness Makes Us More Caring

It’s a way of living that brings awareness and caring into everything we do, as we strive to live in balance with nature. It cuts down needless stress, and makes our lives better for ourselves, our families, our friends and neighbours, the people we work with, and the institutions and organisations of which we are a part.

Mindfulness Could Transform the World

Mindfulness has the potential to transform societies that embrace it. Wouldn’t the world of the human primate, filled with mature, kindly people, be a wonderful place?

Are you mindful in your life? Do you observe and analyse your thoughts and actions? Do you consider your actions towards others?