Caroline Stanbury’s Cutout Top

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While Caroline Stanbury might not be wearing the most comfortable outfit to dance in, I would have to say she’s forgiven over here at Big Blonde Hair. Because even of she can’t comfortably bust a move in jeans, I’m about to dance on down to get her cute cutout top in one of the many available colors.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to Shop her Jonathan Simkhai Alexia Top

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Originally posted at: Caroline Stanbury’s Cutout Top

Chronic or long-term pain is surprisingly common. Research has shown that more North Americans are affected by chronic pain than by diabetes, heart disease and cancer combined.

Some common and painful illnesses, such as arthritis, increase with age. That is why chronic pain also increases with age.

7 Simple Truths to Help You

Below are some simple ideas about chronic pain that can help you understand and work with your injured body. They might help on bad days when you feel particularly beaten down and overwhelmed.

#1: Chronic Pain Is Real, Not Imagined. It Is Never All in Your Head

Chronic pain is a worldwide health problem. It is taken very seriously by the courts, government agencies, insurance companies and medical societies.

Some people in your life may have a hard time understanding why your doctors cannot cure the long-term physical pain you experience. This can be very confusing, even for you. But it is not helpful to doubt what your body is telling you.

#2: You Can’t Get Better Until You Stop Getting Worse

For almost any health problem, there are many things that can make your symptoms or condition worse. Common aggravating factors are poor sleep, over or under activity, prolonged stress or loss and the wrong combination of medications.

The first step is to recognize this pattern. Even by itself, this step can make a big difference. Then try to reduce or contain as many aggravating factors as possible. This will allow your body to settle down and feel better.

#3: Avoid Going to War with Your Pain

When you go to war with pain, pain always wins. Always. The harder you fight, the more anger you feel, the stronger your pain becomes. It is like trying to fight fire with gasoline. You just end up getting burned.

When you fight back, your emotions escalate and become more intense. This triggers stress in your body and brain. Your brain produces more adrenaline and a variety of hormone changes. These all serve to increase your pain levels and aggravate the injured parts of your body.

Working with your injured body is a much better path.

#4: Chronic Pain Flare-Ups

For many people, their long-term pain involves a constant background pain and temporary recurrent escalations of pain, called flare-ups.

Pain can flare-up just like a fire can. Imagine how the intensity of a fire increases when you blow on it. Now imagine pouring gas on the fire. This is what happens during a flare-up, especially a bad one.

Flare-ups can last for a few minutes or a few weeks on end. The best way to decrease a flare-up is by reducing the aggravations that are feeding the fire.

#5: The Chronic Pain Two-Step

Many flare-ups follow a similar two-step pattern – pain causes poor sleep, which then causes more pain. This same pattern can happen, not just with poor sleep, but also with stress, fatigue, and too much pain medication as examples.

To help reduce this kind of escalation, it helps to pay attention to each of the components in the two-step. For example, helping to reduce the pain you feel and the poor sleep it causes, at the same time, can produce better results.

#6: Pain Control Is Not Black or White

Imagine trying to drive your car if you only had two options – full brake or full gas? You wouldn’t get very far. You certainly would have little or no real control over the car.

Pain control works in a similar way. It is not something that is black or white, full on or full off. It is in the gray areas, the details, where real control happens.

Sometimes taking one-half or one-quarter of a pain pill works better than taking a whole pill. Sometimes a 20-minute break works better than pushing until you can’t go any further and then needing a full sleep. It takes a little calmness and composure to think this way, but the results may be worth it.

#7: Chronic Pain Is More Than Just Pain

This simple phrase says a lot.

Chronic pain is long-term physical pain that gathers additional components over time. And for many people, several parts of their body are in pain at the same time.

Other components can include physical limitations, insomnia, fatigue, strained relationships, stresses and losses. Over time, chronic pain can seep into every corner of your life.

Successful comprehensive pain programs know this and try to help people in pain with as many of these components as possible.

These simple truths are explained in more detail in my book and free eBook.

Do any of these patterns apply to you? Do you struggle to make sense of your persistent pain? Are your friends and family also confused at times? I hope some of these simple ideas may help a little.

Crystal Kung Minkoff’s Geometric Confessional Top

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 12 Fashion

I was never good at geometry, but I still do appreciate fun shapes. Especially when they come on a cute mesh top like Crystal Kung Minkoff’s in her confessional. And though math was and never will be my strong point I do know the answer to this equation:

You + This Geometric Top = Perfection

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here to Shop Her AFRM Top

Photos: @crystalkungminkoff

Originally posted at: Crystal Kung Minkoff’s Geometric Confessional Top

When I think back 30 years ago into the 1990s, when I began my career as a dating coach, pre-internet, I shudder. The internet has grown with opportunities for online dating for everyone – from a 50-year-old woman to my eldest current client, a 90-year-old man (who by the way plays tennis daily and enjoys a super active and healthful lifestyle).

This did not exist in the 1990s! Back then, as a widowed, divorced or single senior, the chances for the next act of romance and love were slim. Why? You had to rely on your friends and family – and they truly ran out of potential suitors for you.

But not anymore! Which makes me so happy. With over 1400 dating sites and dating apps on the cyber market now, there is no reason to be dateless!

Here are my four dating tips for seniors.

Time to Come Out of Your Comfort Zone

By our age, we have amassed a strong group of friends, family and loved ones. But our personal love life needn’t be done! More and more singles in their 50s to 70s are finding Second Acts with Love and Dating.

But no potential date is going to appear on your doorstep, so you need to be ready with ideas, energy, and a sense of adventure! The right dating site is just waiting for you – many specialize in the 50–75-year-old age group in your area.

Susan, 66, lives in Chicago and has three children in young adulthood. She called me after her 25-year marriage ended. While she was keeping busy working retail part-time for fun and continuing her yoga, neither were great activities for meeting men she was interested in. Her questions were: Am I too old? Will men around my age date me or will they be really old or only want to date younger?

You Make It Happen

Yes, it can be confusing: Where should I begin; Are there dating sites for seniors; How do I navigate all of this alone?

Well, the good news is that you needn’t go it alone. Considering there are over 1400 dating sites/apps in cyberspace, how do you even begin to begin? Well, you will start with the right dating site in your area – many specialize in the 50–75-year-old age group in your city.

My client Susan approached entering the dating markets as she had yoga, 20 years ago. She went to a beginner’s class, decided she liked yoga, and began doing some private one-on-one yoga sessions with her favorite yoga teacher.

She took the same approach with dating – hired a professional dating coach to lessen her learning curve and save her time. Basically, Susan chose to begin dating with full information and a dating coach at her side for initial confidence and to steer her through the murky waters to the right site with the right type of men she was hoping to meet!

Don’t Bother Dusting Off Those Old Pictures of You

No, you won’t need them! What you will need is 6-8 current photos from the past year – active photos! If you are yogi, as my client Susan, we used two photos of her in yoga poses. You have a great garden? Men on dating sites will enjoy seeing your tomatoes, zucchini, etc. – with you, of course, in the photos.

My clients’ photos tend to range from hiking, tennis, pickleball, touring Budapest to celebrating a grandchild’s birthday or a daughter’s college graduation. Your potential dates are getting a snapshot of your life – just make certain you are in all the photos! (Yes, I had a client send me a photo of the Taj Mahal – without her in it!!).

Pick Out Two Cute Dating Outfits… And You Are Ready to Roll!

First dates are super casual and tend to be lunch, coffee, perhaps sharing a glass of wine and appetizers on a Sunday afternoon. Your first date is nothing more than a fun adventure to chat and get to know a new person – not an audition for marriage.

I have found that once my clients have gone on 2-3 first dates the first month, it’s been like getting back on a bicycle. Easy. Exciting. New, fresh conversation. And often disbelief that such nice men are “out” there!

Your confidence will soar – and you will quickly find some dates naturally evolve into 2^nd or 3^rd dates – and before you know it, you are in a relationship!

Remember the old saying: Make new friends, but keep the old… at every phase in life it’s great to have new friends, and I’ve found we are never too old to date.

My latest engagement was in June 2022 with Tara, 67 in NYC to Michael, 69, in Westchester – they are planning a small wedding with friends. Oh, and Tara’s four children were in happy shock. After their mother’s 36-year marriage and subsequently being widowed, she caught them all by surprise.

For me, I see it every week. My friends wonder sometimes how I’ve done this since 1991.Well, I love my clients, love what I do, and still get super excited every time I hear happy voices telling me over the phone about their dates! Oh, what’s going on with Susan in Chicago? She’s taking a hike with Thomas on Sunday – their third date. Fingers crossed!

How successful have you been in online dating? Have you gone on second and third dates with someone? Do you know which dating site is the right one for you?

Everyone resists change… Change is very hard… Real change takes a long time…

We hear things like these all the time. Are they true? Well, maybe and maybe not. Like lots of things, “It depends.”

Change Is Everywhere

There are some big changes we make on a dime, like setting the clocks forward and back twice a year. Except for a couple of states, the entire United States changes “what time is it?” overnight.

On the surface we feel sleepy an inadequate for a couple of days, but this is a huge change on lots and lots of levels. And still it happens in an instant.

It’s the same when we suddenly become a student and have to go to school every weekday for many months a year for the next however many years.

In similar manner, one minute we’re single, and the next minute we’re married. One minute we aren’t parents and within several minutes we are. And according to my mother, we’re a parent for the rest of our lives, even when our “children” get to be 40 years old!

In our lifetimes we’ve changed our mindset from not even knowing what a car seat belt was, to automatically putting one on, even if it’s just to drive to a different spot in the parking garage! And on and on.

In many cases the change itself is not so hard as the time we spare to sit down and contemplate it. There have been countless times when a major decision was looming, and I agonized over it for days or sometimes months. And then, I made the decision – snap! – and did what needed to be done after that.

Has that been true for you?

Taking Small Steps Helps

Downsizing your home can be a bit like this, I think, if we keep some things in mind.

Several years ago, I went through a major downsizing of my home and moved into a very small apartment. Was that an easy change to make? No, and I’ve written about the emotional side of it in my book The Upside of Downsizing: Getting to Enough.

However, the more I remembered to take things one small step at a time, the easier the process seemed to be. For example, one of the hardest things for me was getting rid of lots and lots of my books. I consider books precious, but I could take with me only a very small percentage of the ones I owned.

Understandably, when I thought, “I need to get rid of lots of books,” I was absolutely frozen. Changing my mindset to “Today I will focus on that bookcase,” made things infinitely easier. It was not necessarily fun and delightful, but it was certainly easier.

And I think this is true for lots of changes we’re asked to make in our lives. If we remember to break it down and take it one small step at a time, it will be easier. And eventually we’ll be done.

In terms of downsizing, “being done eventually” means that we need to start sooner rather than later. So, if you know that at some point you’re going to be downsizing your home, start NOW!

Don’t Accumulate New Stuff

Start by not bringing in lots of new things but start going through one closet and one drawer at a time. Take everything out and put back only those few things you really want or need to keep.

If you don’t know the size of the place you’ll be moving into, pretend it will be a quarter of the size of your current space.

I went from three very large clothes closets to a single small one. That meant getting rid of lots and lots of things. Keep a big plastic bag in the corner of one room and use it to discard all those things that are overdue to go out.

There is a big rule you will need to make yourself keep: Never look in that bag again and never take anything out unless it truly went in by mistake.

If you intend to donate the things to a charity and want to take a tax deduction, keep a pad and pen beside the bag so you can list the things as they go in.

Know Where Your Things Are Going

It was less painful for me to get rid of things, even my books, if I knew where they were going. For example, my books went to the local library for their semi-annual used-book sale, which pays for a very large percentage of their operating expenses.

Let’s summarize the steps you can take for making the change of downsizing easier:

• Take small steps to make the process much less overwhelming.
• Don’t bring new things into your house so you won’t have additional clutter to feel attached to.
• Plan for where the things you’re discarding will go. Knowing that someone else (person or organization) will benefit from your things makes getting rid of them much less painful.

Once you decide to get rid of something, don’t change your mind – it’s not worth it to go through that painful decision twice.

It’s time to start downsizing! Good luck!

What are some things you’re planning to get rid of? Are you emotionally attached to them? How do you plan to approach the process so it doesn’t cause you too much pain? Please share your thoughts with our community and let’s make the downsizing experience easier for everyone.