We do our imperfect best. From the moment we push them naked and helpless from our bodies, they’re ours to nurture, protect, and love. They come without instructions and each one is so uniquely different that a single guidebook would never suffice.

We agonize over every nuance of development: breast milk or formula or both. A strictly enforced regimen or a relaxed approach. We check two hundred times those first nights to make certain they’re still breathing and wake them up if there’s any doubt.

As the cranky weeks of teething drag on we begin to wonder if there’s a God. Through it all is a nagging feeling that we’re not doing enough, that we’re unwittingly wreaking irreparable damage on this helpless tiny being. Mother guilt.

Does It Ever End? The Short Answer Is No

I was talking to a neighbor with an eight-year-old. Sometimes she’s so adult, and then, no warning, she’s a hot mess screaming at me that I don’t love her and sobbing. I feel so guilty! A conversation a few days later with my friend whose 50-year old son still blames her when anything goes wrong has decided she can’t be sorry any more. Yes, I made mistakes, but how many times do I have to apologize?

I have three daughters who are the joy of my life. They’re well-adjusted, successful women and I couldn’t be more proud. But even now when I least suspect it, a pang of guilt can knife through my happiness. I should live closer, I should be helping, I should, I should, I should. They aren’t the ones guilting me, I’m doing it to myself. But why?

Guilt is healthy when it functions as a moral compass and motivates us to right a wrong. Mother Guilt, on the other hand, is like a low-grade fever, an ever-present condition that tells us we’re not measuring up. But measuring up to what, and to whose standards?

Recently, in the throes of a self-imposed guilt-journey, I took a closer look at where those feelings were coming from. Why was I doing this to myself? What I discovered shocked me. It took me back to deep-seated core beliefs that I thought I’d dealt with. But there they were striking where I was most vulnerable: my mother-heart.

I Discovered That Guilt Wasn’t About My Children. It Was About Me

I had struggled with issues of self-worth in the past, feeling unlovable and unworthy. The fact that I’m living a life of extraordinary happiness on the opposite side of the world from family triggered guilt. The unspoken belief was: Perhaps I don’t deserve this. But it manifested in the thought that I should be closer to my children. That was the self-sacrificial, martyr mentality that would ensure my unhappiness.

Another story I believed for years was that I needed help. I wasn’t old enough, strong enough, smart enough, rich enough to do it alone. How could I have possibly thought that was true? It boggles my mind. In the past years I’ve manifested things that others only dream of and I’ve done it as a single woman. But the old fear slipped out sideways and I projected it on my girls. They must need my help, I should be helping.

The overarching proclamation, I’m a terrible mother! is code for the core belief: I’m not good enough. This damaging self-concept drives most perfectionists. A woman with this belief often sets impossibly high standards for herself and reaps more guilt and shame when she doesn’t achieve them. It has nothing at all to do with mothering skills and everything to do with inner programming.

I Never Cease to Be Amazed at Our Emotional and Psychological Complexities

So much of what drives us isn’t what we think it is. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to discover what’s really running the show. Now when Mother Guilt, or guilt of any kind hovers in my mental space I know that some fear of my own has been triggered.

I take a closer look at the story I’m telling myself and ask why? Why am I feeling guilty about this? What’s really going on here? Almost always, when guilt is called on the carpet it magically disappears. And if you really want to know what’s behind it, the questions can lead to the most startling awareness.

Have you experienced Mother Guilt, or Grandmother Guilt? After reading this article, can you identify what fears might be triggering your guilty feelings? Please join the conversation and share your experiences of Mother Guilt.

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

If you’ve always dealt with fine hair, achieving volume has likely been no easy feat. If your strands have suddenly stopped growing with age or lifestyle changes, it may feel like there’s no going back to what once was. While patience is often required, redefining your hair care regimen can ultimately make a difference in the way your hair feels and looks. I know what you’re probably thinking, you’ve tried one anti-thinning product, you’ve tried them all—but I wouldn’t give up yet, because Amazon shoppers have discovered a formula that offers “serious hope.”

The Keranique Follicle Boosting Serum slows down DHT production while reducing excess sebum across the scalp. It not only sets the stage for fuller locks long-term by optimizing your hair growth cycle, but also prevents shedding on a regular basis. Nourishing ingredients like keratin, red clover, panax ginseng root, burdock root, carob seed and apple repair damaged strands and protect thinning hair from further harm. 

Amazon

Keranique Follicle Boosting Serum

Plus, the application is hassle-free; the brand recommends massaging the serum directly into the scalp before styling as usual. Reviewers confirm it has a pleasing aroma and doesn’t leave a greasy residue post-application. For even better results, use the serum alongside Keranique’s anti-thinning shampoo and conditioner duo. 

Just take it from this reviewer who relies on Keranique’s entire anti-thinning line: “I’ve always had very fine, thin hair which seems to stop growing when it hits my shoulders. It has never had volume, fullness, hold, or shape without excessive amounts of product and effort,” they wrote. “Over the years, I’ve tried just about every ‘miracle’ hair growth system with NO success and a very sad, empty pocketbook….[now] my thinning is nearly gone, hair is significantly more hydrated and healthy, and new hair is filling in beautifully!”

RELATED: Tula Is Coming for Your Makeup Bag With New Skincare-Foundation Hybrid Perfect for Summer

Plenty more fans have commented on how the serum has miraculously filled in bald spots, given their hair more body and lift and left each strand feeling super smooth to the touch. 

“I’m very happy to say I’m seeing results of using this follicle booster,” shared another. “Hopefully, the thinning and bald area of my scalp will continue to grow hairs covering my scalp completely. It works, ladies, it works!”

Sick of products that don’t work? Keranique’s Follicle Boosting Serum may be the hidden gem you’ve been searching for. Add it to your cart on Amazon for $5 less with the use of an on-page coupon.

Drew Sidora’s Brown Leather Blazer Dress at Sheree’s Birthday Party

Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 14 Episode 12 Fashion

Of course it’s not a RHOA party without a little catfight. And it’s not a RHOA party without a lot of fab fashion. For instance, Drew Sidora’s brown leather blazer dress. It’s super cute and the best part is that it’s in stock AND  on sale for under $100. But even when that goes we will still throw ya a bone by sharing some Style Stealers as well.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here to Shop Her Lavish Alice Dress

Click Here to Shop Additional Stock

Originally posted at: Drew Sidora’s Brown Leather Blazer Dress

Tamra Judge’s Red Floral Sarong on Instastories

Real Housewives of Orange County Instagram Fashion 2022

That’s amore! Tamra Judge looks ready for some serious R&R with George Clooney husband Eddie in Lake Como in this red floral print sarong skirt. Which thanks to the magic of the internet, you don’t even need to go to Amal a mall for. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her L*Space Sarong in 2 Colours

Click Here For Additional Stock on Sale

Photo: @TamraJudge

Originally posted at: Tamra Judge’s Red Floral Sarong

Margaret Manning, this website’s founder, has noted recently that this is the 10th anniversary of Sixty and Me, but I don’t think enough fuss has been made of this wonderful fact.

We should be singing and celebrating loudly.

And congratulating her and the people behind the scenes who have kept us together for all these years.

And maybe feeding back a few thoughts in the process!

What Makes a Community?

By coincidence, I was thinking about the Sixty and Me community just one week ago.

I had been approached for an interview for a podcast to talk about my new book about how much I enjoy being old. We writers tend to welcome such opportunities, as it brings us to the attention of a new audience.

We did the interview and after the recording was finished, the podcaster (Deborah Voll) and I chatted. It turned out that she was also a writer for Sixty and Me! What a surprise. She had known this, it seems, but I didn’t. It immediately gave us something in common, like we were both part of something bigger.

Which we were.

And then I thought, Sixty and Me thinks of itself as a ‘community’, and I wondered how much readers had come to feel this to be the case.

Knowing People

I don’t know for certain what makes a community a community, but it must be something to do with feeling that you know and like the people involved.

This made me wonder how many of you have found friends through fellow readers of Sixty and Me. I see it sometimes in the comments, where two women find they have something unusual in common. There are discussions of contacting each other.

• Have you made online friends with people via Sixty and Me?
• Have you actually met these friends and continue to meet?
• Or do you feel you are in a community of like-minded people even though you haven’t met each other?

I then wondered whether you felt you knew the writers on Sixty and Me. When I read a newspaper, there are particular columnists I read on a regular basis and others I read from time to time. But sometimes, I just read an article for its subject matter no matter who is writing.

• Do you watch out for particular writers at Sixty and Me?

Common Interests

Being a community might also mean that there is a sense of communality between us, of shared experiences and interests.

We write about everything to do with life (makeup, travel, the joys of grandchildren and much, much more) and sometimes death (of our friends or thinking about our own).

We hope that these issues interest you, of course,

• Do you feel that Sixty and Me is a special place to find discussions of issues that concern you?
• If so, which topics do you keep an eagle eye out for?

Time

I suspect time helps to build a community. Time to feel part of something bigger than you. Ten years is a long time in our lives.

• Have you belonged to Sixty and Me for a long time?
• Does anyone go back a full 10 years?

And time brings changes. Some months ago, I wrote an article about turning 80 and was surprised to find others of that age responding.

• How many of us 80-year-olds are out there?
• Is there anyone in their 90s?

Comments, Likes, Shares

And finally, a community is a matter of sharing with others. The site is well set up for comments, likes and shares.

You may not know this, but we writers give our time freely, for the pleasure of thinking it might help someone out there.

And we LOVE it when you comment. It makes us feel that you are really reading. I am equally happy when someone says how much they agree with what I write or when they want to argue. It’s always interesting to hear what you have to say.

• Do you contribute your own thoughts with a comment or like or share when you are taken by a particular idea?

The Future

If you are minded to answer any or all my questions, I would be happy to write an article pulling together your responses. It would be exceedingly interesting, but I need your input in order to do so.

Sixty and Me would certainly love to hear from you.

So, do you feel 60 & Me is your community? For how long have you belonged to it? Do you follow particular writers, or do you go by topics of interest? What else would you like to share?