Month: September 2022

How I Used This Summer to Inch Closer to Realising My Ideal Day

redefining life ideal day mindset

Several years ago, back when I was contemplating a change in careers, I did an exercise where I described my “ideal day.”

My description basically reads as follows: I spend my mornings writing, followed by some other, related creative activity: podcasting, giving a talk or interview, or attending a conference. The afternoons are devoted to a job that I love that brings home the bacon.

When friends call now – as they often do – to tell me that they’re tired of their job/industry/routine/life, I often begin by asking them to describe their ideal day. What I haven’t shared with them is that while my own description sits above my desk to remind me of my goals, I’ve not yet managed to achieve them.

Most days, I write for an hour in the early morning and then do “real work” for the rest of the day. Sometimes, I start at 5 a.m. to squeeze it all in.

That changed this summer. With a bit more time on my hands, I slowly began to inch myself closer to realizing my ideal day. This didn’t happen magically; it was deliberate. Here are three changes I instituted that helped:

Saying No

One of the main upsides to running your own business is that you get to maximize the activities you like and minimize the ones you don’t. Otherwise, why not just go work for someone else who tells you how to spend your time?

Now that my business is has been running for a few years, I am fortunate to have a high number of repeat clients. This means that I can spend less time selling and more time doing what I love – which is the design and delivery of workshops and coaching.

So, I made a conscious choice this summer to considerably reduce the amount of business development that I do. Once I let go of cold calls, in particular, I suddenly had a lot more time in my day to devote to other things.

Learning how to say “No” – as much to myself, as well as to others who were asking me to sell for them – was vital to this shift in behavior.

Taking Project Management Seriously

The second change I implemented was to get much smarter about managing my workload. I do a lot of work with universities, and the autumn tends to be my busiest time of the year for that work.

So, as my calendar for the next few months begins to fill up, I am making sure to adhere to one of the fundamental principles of project management – which is to always work backwards from your deadlines.

The basic idea here is quite simple: as soon as you have a deadline, work backwards so that you know exactly how much time you need to allocate to that project each month/week/day etc. to hit it.

As I tell my students, one important corollary to this old time management chestnut is to be sure that you block out your calendar to prepare for these deadlines. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself committing time to other projects and before you know it, you’ll be completely over-committed and stressed out.

It’s really hard for me to adhere to this principle, because my instinct is to always say “yes” and take on more work. But creating space to get “enough” work done and respecting that space is the only way to allocate time for other things you really value, like family, writing, and exercise.

Embracing a Portfolio Mindset

I’ve written a lot about how I’ve embraced a portfolio career in later life. But a portfolio career is much more than a variety of different revenue streams. It’s also a mindset.

A portfolio mindset means that when you’re doing something that is part of your portfolio but not necessarily an income-earner – in my case, writing and volunteer work fall into this category – you don’t berate yourself endlessly when you’re spending time on those activities.

This was an incredibly hard transition for me to make. I’m very rule-bound. So, if I decide that I will only spend one hour writing a day and eight hours “doing real work,” it’s really hard for me to break out of that routine.

But with more time on my hands this summer I found that I was better able to use my time to do a range of things that matter to me – even if I wasn’t earning money from them. The trick wasn’t finding the time. It was there. The trick was to re-frame that time as valuable and useful.

Writing with the Wrong Hand

All of which is a long way of saying that this summer I practiced what I call “writing with the wrong hand.” This is my shorthand for doing some things even when – and often especially when – they don’t feel comfortable.

My hope is that if I practice hard enough, some of these transitions will begin to feel routine. And then I will be that much closer to becoming my future self

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Did this summer come with a bonus for you? Are you one step closer to enjoying your ideal day, every day? What’s stopping you? What can you do to remove the obstacles? Please share your thoughts and observations with the community!

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10 Big Makeup Mistakes for Women Over 50… and What to Do About Them!

makeup tips for older women

I know, it sounds very negative to write about the 10 biggest mistakes, as opposed to writing about the best makeup tips!

But for me, the key to the best makeup at any age, is to follow the “Less is More” rule. This is especially true once we are over 50.

So, I offer my personal ideas, in the interests of hopefully saving some girls the heartache of realising they are not looking their best.

Here are a few tips for changing all that, and for abandoning makeup that actually makes you look older than you are!

Wearing Too Much Foundation

It clogs your skin and settles in the lines and creases. Buy anything creamy that will help with dryness, if your skin is dry. Try foundations that use light-diffusing pigments, such as Chanel’s Vitalumiere.

If your skin is very dry, make sure you exfoliate 2-3 times a week and find yourself a great moisturiser. I have found we women of a certain age are sometimes better using a night cream as a day cream. They are stronger.

Also, buy a water spray for your face. I recommend the Nu Skin NaPCA Moisture Mist. I have actually seen it plump up dried apricots so imagine what it does for your skin!

Applying Too Much Concealer Under Your Eyes

It’s usually thick and heavy and accentuates the crêpe look. The skin under your eyes is fine and delicate so use a concealer with some illuminating particles; my personal favourite is always going to be Touche Éclat by YSL.

Choosing a Lip Color That Is Too Dark

Dark colours create an illusion of small, so dark colour on your lips makes your mouth look pinched. Steer clear of burgundies, wines, or browns, and in some cases, even red. Use bright colours such as peaches, pinks, and even neutrals. Use a lip pencil the same colour as your lipstick, or try something neutral and fabulous just with a touch of gloss.

Rule of thumb… accentuate your eyes or your mouth… not both!

Finishing with Powder

It becomes clogged in lines and wrinkles! If you cannot live without powder, use one that is sheer and translucent, or just blot you face with tissues.

Using Black Eyeliner

It’s too harsh and magnifies the appearance of fine lines, wrinkles, bags and dark under-eye. Use something more gentle such as grey or a blue. Make sure it’s a Kohl pencil rather than actual liquid liner.

Applying Lip Liner Badly

If you cannot use lip liner properly, use a neutral colour. Try Lip Enhancer Illusion Lip Liner from ModelCo. It’s brilliant!

Never try and create a larger looking lip by using a lip liner outside your natural lip. If your lips are really too small, consider some injectable. They do work, and if you choose the right product and the right technician, your plumped pout will last up to 15 years and will not be embarrassing! Do NOT go to a cowboy who will give a Trout Pout.

Putting Mascara and Eye Liner on Your Lower Lids and Lashes

No, no, no! The mascara looks like little spider legs and the liner is just too harsh. If you must have a line on your lower lids, start it at the outside corner and let it run to the quarter-way mark. Just a suggestion rather than a statement.

Forgetting the Blush

The older you get, the more colour you lose. Use blush and change the colour every year, because your colour changes every year. Not wearing blush, even if it’s a bronzer just on your cheeks, is very aging. You need to create the blush of youth! And always add blush to the apples of your cheeks and not in a line across your cheek bone.

Using Lipstick Without a Lipstick Brush

If you use lipstick straight from the tube, it tends to clog and seep. Using a brush spreads the lipstick smoothly and evenly and prevents it from sinking into the cracks!

Using an Eyebrow Pencil That Is Too Dark

Nix the black and use dark brown. A Dark Gold works for almost everyone unless you have very dark skin and hair. Even then, don’t use black! It’s too harsh.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you guilty of making any of these makeup mistakes? I would love to know what makeup you use and what you use that really brightens the way you feel. Tell us your makeup over 50 secret tips and tricks! Please join the conversation.

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Diana Jenkins’ Silver Pleated Gown

Diana Jenkins’ Silver Pleated Gown at Crystal’s Birthday Party

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 12 Episode 19 Fashion

Diana Jenkins managed to match the backdrop perfectly in her silver pleated gown at Crystal’s 1920’s themed birthday party. It looks like she is just among the stars in the sky. But after all she is a star—a Bravo reality one. Which is exactly why were over the moon about shopping a Style Stealer of this fab look. ✨

 

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

 

Diana Jenkins' Silver Pleated Gown

Click Here to Shop Her Valentino Gown

Photo: @sdjneuro

 

Originally posted at: Diana Jenkins’ Silver Pleated Gown

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Diana Jenkins’ Tortoise and Gold Sunglasses

Diana Jenkins’ Tortoise and Gold Sunglasses on the Plane

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 12 Episode 19 Fashion

 

On tonight’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills everything seems to be all Gucci on the plane on the way home from Aspen (for everyone who’s actually on the plane at least). Quite literally in Diana Jenkins case because she is wearing Gucci tortoise and gold sunglasses and a Gucci tracksuit. And everything is Gucci for us because both are in stock along with Style Stealers. So go ahead and take a trip below to shop them both! ✈

 

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

 

Diana Jenkins' Black and Gold Sunglasses

Click Here to Shop Her Gucci Sunglasses

Click Here to Shop Her Gucci Tracksuit

Click Here For Info on Her Coat

Shop Other Colors of Her Sunglasses:

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Originally posted at: Diana Jenkins’ Tortoise and Gold Sunglasses

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Designing Your Home for Aging in Place

aging in place

Most of my boomer friends claim that they want to age in place and not move to a senior community or an assisted living home. That is all well and good – but is it feasible and realistic?

To find out, I interviewed Dr. Rosemarie Rossetti, President of Rossetti Enterprises Inc. and an internationally known speaker, author, and consultant in this area.

Rossetti is the author of the Universal Design Toolkit, and she and her husband, Mark Leder, led the team that designed and built their home, the nationally-acclaimed Universal Design Living Laboratory, in Columbus, Ohio.

It was designed to accommodate Rosemarie’s wheelchair accessibility following a tragic accident when a 7,000-pound tree landed on top of her while bicycling.

Universal Design Key

Universal Design is a framework that looks at living and working spaces, as well as products, so that they are creating products and services and spaces to accommodate people of all abilities not segmenting design by age, medical condition or another factor.

No matter what your age, no matter what your size, no matter what your ability, Universal Design is good design, and it accommodates everyone.

Not all Universal Design Homes are alike and not all builders are including Universal Design to the extent that they should, so there are a lot of variations in the 50-plus community homes.

Clues to Universal Design

Your first clue will be, can you get into the home if you were in a wheelchair? The entrance should not be very steep. Having no steps and a very low threshold at the door is key as well. The door should be at least 36 inches wide.

And consider this – can a person in a wheelchair come to visit or come to live in that home?

See Universal Design in Action

The Universal Design Living Laboratory is an award-winning prototype that showcases nearly every conceivable Universal Design feature; has three national Universal Design certifications and the prestigious silver-level LEED green certification from the U.S. Green Building Council and the gold-level National Green Building Standard certification.

There is a virtual tour available where you can see over 700 photos of the home edited together room by room.

Here are some of the things incorporated into the home that you should keep in mind too:

  • Step-free entrance
  • All doors are without thresholds and are wide enough for a wheelchair or walker (36”)
  • Wider hallways (46 “)
  • Lever handles on doors and faucets
  • Various heights of kitchen counters
  • Full extension drawers and shelves in kitchen base cabinets
  • Cooktop set into a counter with open knee space
  • Side hinged microwave and oven doors at countertop height
  • Side by side refrigerator
  • Casement windows
  • An elevator to the basement
  • Lower rocker style light switches (36” above the floor)
  • Higher electrical outlets (25” above the floor)
  • Large bathroom with decorative grab bars
  • Wood, non-slip tile and a dense weave, low pile (< ½”) carpet floors
  • Large bathtubs with plenty of grab bars
  • Curbless roll-in showers with plenty of grab bars
  • Slide bar for shower head
  • Hand-held, flexible shower fixture
  • 17-19” high toilet seats
  • Adjustable hanging closet rods and shelves
  • Front loading washer and dryer
  • Open knee space under all sinks

If you are intrepid, you can also check out the Universal Design tool kit for a complete picture of how to design your home for aging in place.

Aging-in-Place vs the Alternative

Oftentimes, people get accustomed to being in a home for 30 or 40 years. It was their family home and they’ve established all the connections and networks, and they don’t want to leave.

Rosemarie says you have to look at the budget and realistically figure out what it would really take to make the home livable for a lifetime.

Is the house going to be too much to maintain over a longer period of time as your ability to maintain it diminishes? It may just be too large for practicality and too expensive for operational costs, insurance and taxes.

So, every family has to make a lot of decisions and considerations if they’re going to stay in that home or if they’re going to move to a community that has been set up for senior living.

And with that, you still have to understand how the community is laid out and if it will truly accommodate your needs. Likewise, you may decide to build a ranch house from scratch and will need to know how to work with architects and builders, how to read floor plans, and how to advocate for your needs.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What is your experience with rebuilding a house for aging in place? Have you redesigned your home using these principles, started from scratch in a new home, or moved to a senior community? Please tell us your story, including the ups and downs!

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