Gina Kirschenheiter’s Dark Denim Bustier Top on Instagram

Real Housewives of Orange County Instagram Fashion 2022

Yas Jean-a! Gina Kirschenheiter looks fab while filming some confessionals for RHOC Season 17 in this denim bustier top. And while we’ll have to wait and see what she’s talking about here, we’re definitely already talking about her cute green screen jean. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Versace Top on Sale

Photo: @GinaKirschenheiter

Originally posted at: Gina Kirschenheiter’s Dark Denim Bustier Top

Not so long ago, my husband and I both turned 64. We got cards for each other with the iconic Beatles song that said, “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m sixty-four?” I could not help but reflect on how we both survived, even to this day, a number of years later.

Robert Fulghum’s poem, “Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” captured several things you learn in kindergarten that apply in marriage. Play fair and clean up your mess. But after that, for marriage, it takes more than milk and cookies and a nap to get through it.

Marriage challenges every part of our being. You hook up with someone who may seem at the time to be the perfect partner for you. Then shortly after the honeymoon, if you’re lucky, and before it, if you’re not, the curtain comes down. You wonder how you got yourself into this and what were you thinking.

The Illusive Search for Prince Charming

I came of age during the heady hippie days in the 60s. We traded in our view of Prince Charming for another, even more unattainable romantic notion. We searched for the sensitive man who was not only as handsome as the illusive prince, but also kind and nurturing.

In addition, he also had to be good at cooking and cleaning. If we could not find this Prince, it was surely because this creature was not alive on the planet. Did you engage in that search?

20-year-old me was right out there seeking this new majestic creature. I found a sweet guy, but that relationship ended because he felt I was “too strong.” So, to be sure that would not happen again, I found someone who was my match in being strong and confident.

That, of course, went with a strong will. We were off to the altar. He’s a wonderful person, but you can imagine the kinds of head-on collisions we have faced over the last 30 years.

Challenges Are the True Test of Love

To make things worse, over years of marriage, we were presented with herculean tasks, insurmountable obstacles and things we never could have ever guessed would happen. I won’t dump out our personal challenges here since I do want to stay married after I write this! But let’s say, we were guaranteed to have totally different ways of dealing with these challenges.

That’s why, I now have a wholly different opinion about what makes marriages survive the test of time. Lasting marriages are not necessarily the ones where couples have everything in common or compatibility in every way imaginable. The ones that last are the ones where both partners have decided to make a go of it. They have decided to stick it out.

That is why I found myself so relieved and validated when I read Alain de Botton’s article. It is all about our mortification at choosing the wrong partner. He writes “It might sound odd, but pessimism relieves the excessive imaginative pressure that our romantic culture places upon marriage.”

Botton suggests that we seek to find the perfect person to save us from loneliness and suffering. However, we actually find ourselves suffering because of our sense of being let down or betrayed by that very belief.

He goes on to say:

“The person who is best suited to us is not the person who shares our every taste, but the person who can negotiate differences in taste intelligently. It is the person who is good at disagreement. Rather than some notional idea of perfect complementarity, it is the capacity to tolerate differences with generosity that is the true marker of the ‘not overly wrong’ person.”

And my favorite line is, “Compatibility is an achievement of love; it must not be its precondition.”

So, what are the things that have helped along the way? A couple of good marriage counselors, and a great marriage book by my sister who is a marriage counselor herself. She helped me pull through when things got toughest.

And of course, I need to give a little credit to my husband, Rito, who, like me, just kept at it. And I agree with Alain de Botton: our compatibility has grown over the years. We have shared a great life and are happy to now be turning 68 together.

Did you find compatibility in your marriage? How did you work out your differences in a positive way? How did you deal with challenges and unexpected problems in your marriage? Please leave your comments below and let’s start a conversation.

Nothing seemed to be going right. My Internet gave up in the middle of a Zoom meeting, my dog – a rescue mutt still learning the house rules – peed on a freshly washed towel hanging over a chair, and the work gig I was so confident would come through, didn’t.

A friend listened patiently to my litany of complaints, and then asked; “OK, I hear you, so what will you be brave about today?”

“What is wrong with you?” I exclaimed. “Did you listen to a word I said?”

“Absolutely,” my friend replied, in a kind, compassionate tone, “which is why I’m asking you; what will you be brave about today?”

“I don’t know. Nothing. Whatever.” And the conversation ended on that rather unpleasant note.

Finding Courage

My friend’s question gave me pause. I thought about Nora Barton, who, at 96, fulfilled the dream she had since she first started singing as a child – to perform at the London Palladium.

Despite Nora having Alzheimer’s, she was featured to great acclaim on “Britain’s Got Talent” as she sang “The Loveliest Night of the Year” with her 65-year-old daughter, Pam, accompanying her on the piano.

Nora’s spectacular ability to hit and sustain the high notes required by the song brought her thunderous applause from the audience and judges alike.

What courage it must have taken Nora to continue to practice and hone her voice all through the years! What bravery it must have taken for her, a 96-year-old with Alzheimer’s, to dare audition for “Britain’s Got Talent,” given the scant odds of actually making it in front of the judges?

Yet Nora did. And although she may have never posed the question to herself “What will I be brave about today?” her accomplishment reflects her constant answer. Nora would be brave about whatever it took to fulfill her dream.

As I reflected on Nora and her courage, I realized that how I continued to experience the woes of my day was entirely up to me. Sure, the events had happened, but did I really need to carry them with me through the rest of my week? No.

I decided that what I would be brave about was what I did going forward. I decided to reframe the events as learning experiences in the ongoing journey of my life. Almost immediately, my mood lightened.

I decided to use the Internet failure as an opportunity to review my Internet service and see if my current plan still met my needs.

I decided not to put freshly washed items within sniffing range of my sweet puppy.

I decided to be more proactive in stimulating new business.

I got brave, and with that, I became empowered to do more and do better.

Transforming Unhelpful Thoughts

In other words, I used cognitive behavioral techniques on myself. Cognitive behavioral therapy is predicated on changing or transforming unhelpful thoughts into thoughts that help us do better, feel better. It’s not denial of reality. It’s choosing to look differently at whatever the reality is.

The wonder of cognitive behavioral technique isn’t only how it improves our mental and emotional outlook, recent research shows how such thought transformation also improves the functioning of our immune system, which is critical to our overall health and longevity.

So, treat yourself to double goodness. Look at the issues and challenges of your everyday life, big or small, through the lens of “What will I be brave about today?” and change woeful thinking into positive resolution.

With that, both body and mind will benefit, and you will reap the rewards of a more satisfying happy, healthy life.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What kinds of negative thoughts keep coming up for you? Do you have an example in your life of turning negative thinking about a situation into something positive? Please share your stories with the community!

Sutton Stracke’s Green Mermaid Dress on Instagram

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2022 Instagram Fashion

Sutton Stracke has such an adorable southern belle style. She posted a pic on IG wearing a green mermaid dress and it’s just the cutest thing. A novelty print is always fun and bound to get a lot of compliments. Which is exactly why you should let this dress be a Part of Your World.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here to Shop Her LHD Dress

Photo @suttonstracke

Originally posted at: Sutton Stracke’s Green Mermaid Dress

When we reach 60, 70 or 80 we are surprised we got here so quickly. We meant to make investment plans and take better care of ourselves along the way. What happened to the last 40 years? It’s scary, this aging thing.

Besides time moving so quickly, we have fears about our future – especially about our health and our money. There’s no question the two are intertwined. 15 million Americans under age 65 will burn through their savings to pay medical bills. In fact, medical bills are the leading cause of personal bankruptcy.

When I ask people if they want to live to be 100, as part of my 100^th Year Project, the most frequent qualifiers I hear are, “Not if I run out of money,” and “Only if I have my health.”

Protect Our Health to Protect Our Wealth

In their book Age-Proof: Living Longer Without Running Out of Money or Breaking a Hip, Jean Chatzky and Michael F. Roizen, M.D. explore that the healthier we are as we age, the more money we’ll hold on to. It’s a fun book that made me look closely at my own fears.

Good habits today mean healthier years ahead. Walking, clean eating and stress management can save major medical expense down the road. But there’s no teacher or parent to prod us to healthier habits. It is entirely up to us.

Even with health insurance, about 10 million Americans have medical bills they can’t pay. Until I read this, I hadn’t studied my own health insurance policy to check for lifetime caps and big gaps in coverage.

Now is a good time to review your health insurance. Yes, better coverage or supplemental coverage may cost more. I’m self-employed and health insurance is one of my biggest expenses. But I can’t imagine a medical catastrophe chewing up my savings and jeopardizing my long, happy life.

We can’t count on society taking care of us. Governments are overburdened with obesity, smoke and alcohol addictions and health care for the very poor. It’s up to us to take responsibility for our own health and manage the money we will need to live decades longer.

Meet Money and Health Troubles Head On

No matter where we stand financially, or how healthy we are, these are difficult issues. We overlook our overspending or put off doing our taxes. We procrastinate scheduling a colonoscopy or calling the doctor about a nagging chest pain. Sometimes we ignore issues until they become urgent.

Not facing facts is a form of stress. Sometimes we deal in healthy ways: a soak in the tub, a long walk or a yoga class. Sometimes we opt for less healthy ways to deal: a cold beer and a bag of Cheetos or buying another pair of shoes and matching handbag we don’t need.

I love this line in the Age-Proof book, “Ain’t no bubble bath going to pay off your Visa.” I doubt Cheetos or a nature hike will get the doctor’s appointment scheduled either.

Grabbing control of our health and our wealth can be empowering. Living within a budget is disciplined. Daily exercise and scheduling wellness visits a year in advance is proactive. Once we do the groundwork, we free our minds for the fun stuff.

Taking One Step Starts the Health-Wealth Dance

For me, the first step was checking for holes in my health insurance. The next step was scheduling periodontic work I’d put off for years because I didn’t want to spend the money.

I learned oral health problems cause inflammation which leads to heart problems, maybe even Alzheimer’s Disease. It’s time to stop procrastinating and invest in my future health.

Now I’m going to tackle a budget to see how much money I actually spend and how much I need to live on. Then I’ll face my biggest fear: what if my health doesn’t allow me to work any longer?

Will I have enough money to live comfortably for the next 35 years? I have every intention of celebrating my 100^th birthday – in new shoes with a matching handbag.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What are your biggest health fears? Your money fears? What can you do today to make the first step toward better health and wealth? Please join the conversation below.