Jen Shah’s Gold Square Sunglasses and Black Zip Up Romper in Scottsdale

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Season 3 Episode 3 Fashion

Yes, we know we’re probably going to receive some flack for reporting on Jen Shah wearing this $3,800 black zip up romper on this week’s episode of RHOSLC in Scottsdale. But hey, we’re just here to do our civic duty in reporting on the fashion (and definitely do not condone drinks being thrown on it). 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Gucci Sunglasses

Click Here to Shop Her Gucci Romper

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Originally posted at: Jen Shah’s Gold Square Sunglasses and Black Zip Up Romper

Do you want to write a memoir, but never find the time for such a big project? Or, are you not really used to writing? Do you grapple with the issue of not wanting to ruin any of your relationships, even after you are no longer alive?

What about writing a mini-memoir?

My Idea of a Mini-Memoir

A few years ago, I received a memoir written by a contemporary of my grandmother – a woman who grew up in the same town, Lueneburg, Germany.

This short piece was only 17 pages long. Yet, it carried me into the woman’s world and life. It described the people in her world, including my grandmother’s great Aunt Betty, and it totally captivated me. “Wow,” I thought. “This is a great idea.”

Why does a memoir have to be a huge undertaking or a long book? What about a mini-memoir that travels the pathways you traversed in your lifetime, meandering through your world, describing what it felt like at different moments in the context of the political winds and national events?

Even describing the technology as it evolved is fascinating. You know that already if you’ve ever described life before cell phones, YouTube, and navigators to the younger generation. The mini-memoir can be a perfect vehicle.

Wanting to Know More

I am lucky as I have videotaped interviews of both my parents about their lives. My father even wrote his autobiography. But that only makes me hunger for stories from previous generations.

I would just love to read the story of my German Jewish grandmother who we called Oma. What did the world look like for Oma and her sisters? What was it like to attend Oxford University as a woman in the 20s of a past century and yet become a housewife while her sisters became professionals?

Gertrude, who was the head nurse in a Jewish hospital in Hamburg, babysat for me. Aunt Lottie was our doctor. But they seemed very ancient to me, and I was too young to ask questions. Now I’d like to know: How did it feel for them to come to the US, fleeing Nazi Germany in their 50s?

I don’t know their stories, I have only a few black and white photos of the three sisters traveling to Yellowstone and other National Parks dressed in skirts hanging below their knees and laced ‘grandma’ shoes that Oma always wore.

What Is a Mini-Memoir?

I looked up mini-memoirs on Google and found a slightly different concept than the one I present here. According to the resource I read, to write a mini-memoir you can either take one episode of your life and tell the story, or take a picture from the past and see what memories it sparks for you.

Both are very good ideas – but mine is a bit different. According to my concept, writing a mini-memoir goes as follows:

Step 1:

Make a short sweep over your whole life. Tell about your childhood, teenage years, young adult years, and the next stages of your life as you go from your 30s up through your current age.

Step 2:

Highlight your experiences during those different stages of your life. If you can, tell stories along the way. How were you feeling? What did you learn during that time in your life?

Step 3:

Describe your world, the people you knew along the way, what it looked like in the places you lived. Don’t forget to include the technology.

Step 4:

Give the context in terms of what was going on in the world. How did it affect you?

Step 5:

Share your values, describe what mattered in your life, and speak through the window of your identity as you experience the world now.

My Tips to Writing a Mini-Memoir

To begin, you can:

• Look at a photograph from a time in your life that serves as a memory for you. Describe the moment, the feelings that come up, and even words that were spoken.
• Get together with a friend or family member and share some stories, jotting down notes and ideas.

Then:

• Do an outline or map of your life and place the stories inside it.
• Good writing includes showing rather than telling. Describe, describe, describe.
• Share your beliefs in ways that are not preachy.
• Try not to throw anyone under the bus including yourself (through self-deprecating remarks).

If you are working on a longer memoir, kudos to you. That is a wonderful undertaking and I recommend it. The mini-memoir idea is for the person who feels that they are not ready to take that leap. Or at least, not yet.

Take a minute to consider trying to do the mini-memoir. It may just turn into a longer project, but even if it doesn’t, a mini-memoir has value in its own right – standing for future generations as a way to share your life with people who come after you in its simple 17- to 20-page glory.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What do you think about memoirs? Do you think you could write your own? Does a mini-memoir sound like a good idea? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 12 Reunion Looks

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 12 Fashion

It’s of course sad to see this season of RHOBH come to an end. But having that spicy reunion trailer drop made me kinda stoked for it. I mean we already knew all the lewks were hot, but the alleged drama is piping. The fact that they couldn’t even withstand a group photo at the end . I can’t wait to see what all goes down on it, but for now the only thing going down should be your eyes considering we have all their outfit deets below.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Erika Jayne’s Season 12 Reunion Dress

Click Here to Read About Erika’s Reunion Look

Photo Credit: @theprettymess

Dorit Kemsley’s Season 12 Reunion Dress

Click Here to Read About Dorit’s Reunion Look

Photo Credit: @doritkemsley

Kyle Richards’ Season 12 Reunion Dress

Click Here to Read About Kyle’s Reunion Look

1st Photo: @bravotv

2nd Photo: @kylerichards18

Crystal Kung Minkoff’s Season 12 Reunion Dress

Click Here to Read About Crystal’s Reunion Look

Photo Credit: @bravotv

Lisa Rinna’s Season 12 Reunion Dress

Click Here to Read About Lisa’s Reunion Look

Photo Credit: @bravotv

Sutton Stracke’s Season 12 Reunion Dress

Click Here to Read About Sutton’s Reunion Look

Photo Credit: @suttonstracke

Garcelle Beauvais’ Season 12 Reunion Dress

Click Here to Read About Garcelle’s Reunion Look

Photo Credit: @bravotv

Diana Jenkins’ Season 12 Reunion Dress

Click Here to Read About Diana’s Reunion Look

Photo Credit: @sdjneuro

Kathy Hilton’s Season 12 Reunion Dress

Click Here to Read About Kathy’s Reunion Look

Photo Credit: @kathyhilton

Originally posted at: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 12 Reunion Looks

What better time to complete this topic series than October, National Estate Planning Awareness Month!?! Based on your feedback and sharing from Part 1, this blog shares stories, tips and encouragement for those who have experienced inheriting a mess.

Your Stories

One Sixty and Me reader forewarned that you often can’t count on the decedent’s spouse for any help. In her situation, after an aunt died, she was trying to help her uncle, “but he knew absolutely nothing about accounts or even where his own money was.”

This is so common. Too often, couples take responsibility for different “departments” in married life, which is normally fine – EXCEPT when it comes to finances. We need to at least be aware if not involved in the details of our money life.

You may remember from a past blog, or as I often explain in my free workshops, research indicates that couples usually fall into one of three categories when it comes to the financial aspect of our relationships:

The Driver and Passenger Couple

Only one person in the couple is aware of, makes decisions about, and takes care of all things financial (the Driver). The Passenger is often glad not to be involved or have to be bothered with that “financial stuff.”

The Joined at the Hip Couple

Both members of the couple talk about and make financial decisions together, but only one of them is the “doer” who takes care of implementing those decisions.

The Divide and Conquer Couple

Just like the Joined at the Hip couple, both members of the couple talk about and make financial decisions together but then they split the duties. So, each one is acting on implementing some of the decisions.

The Differences and Consequences

The research has also shown that the survivor of the Divide and Conquer couple adjusts the best, experiences less stress, and adapts to his/her new life better than the other two categories. Which makes sense since the survivor is often only taking on 50% more of the responsibilities vs 100% of the potentially unfamiliar duties and decisions in the other two categories.

One woman I know, Charlotte Fox, truly experienced the “terror” of inheriting a mess when her “Driver” husband passed away unexpectedly when she was just in her 50s. As the “Passenger” in the financial relationship, she recalls how she felt somewhere between a drug induced coma and a nervous breakdown.

Similar to Heather Parker, in Part 1 of this series, Charlotte reacted to her situation in a life-changing way. She used her trauma to fuel her energy into writing a 200+ page workbook And Then There Was One to help others avoid or survive what she experienced.

She wrote the book with an invitation to readers and attendees at her workshops to hold her hand as she walks you through. One reader, quoted in her book, commented, “Your husband would be so proud of you!”

Tips Moving Forward

Another reader recommended hiring help. A second set of eyes helps avoid missing things you may not know about or you may not see, especially if you are experiencing brain fog, which is very common after losing a loved one. Moving forward on steps that need to be taken, though difficult, with an accountability partner involved can feel less overwhelming.

Whether you have help or are tackling this alone, another reader found that setting up “project management steps” can be a big help in focusing on getting one thing done each day. Breaking the seemingly endless tasks down to smaller, manageable bites is, over time, truly the best way forward.

“Slowly but surely clearing it away”, “slow and steady” were the exact phrases from women who commented after Part 1 of this blog. They are so right! We are more likely to feel progress and not get discouraged when we remember it doesn’t all have to be done in one day.

Words of Encouragement

Some final words of encouragement. One reader of Charlotte’s workbook wrote her a thank you letter and shared how going through the process of getting prepared had sparked helpful discussions with her family. Charlotte’s motto today is “The time to discuss your end-of-life plans is NOW.”

One woman who replied to the Part 1 blog on the Sixty and Me Facebook group, admitted “I made the mess.” Not taking action now to organize, express wishes, put things in writing, correctly title assets, etc. can leave you or your family with a preventable “terror” experience.

So, my final encouragement is to get yourself a checklist and get started. Whether you prefer short bullet points in a book, an electronic paperless format, or a fill-in-the-blank workbook, just pick the one that you are most likely to DO.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Too often we don’t take action on something until we have experienced a traumatic event. What prompted you to get financially organized with your estate planning? What motivation can you share with our community?

October is Depression Awareness Month, and 10th October, 2022 was International Mental Health Awareness Day.

For many years, I have managed the Facebook page of the Swanage Depression Support Group. This was set up as a response by members of the support group, but it was left to me as the only person familiar with Facebook to manage the page.

Needless to say, there were many messages coming through on the page during the two lockdowns, sometimes people seeking help for themselves and at other times people seeking help for others. It is one of the kindest things you can do to point someone in the right direction when they are at a low ebb.

This is also the time of year when many people suffer depression because of the darker evenings and wetter, colder weather. This condition is known as SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Thankfully, special lamps exist that mimic daylight, which help.

Depression Is an Illness

But depression is not simply being fed up on a Monday morning – it is much, much more. It is an illness, and the best things you can do on such a day are:

• Accept the tired phase when you need to lie in bed most of the morning. Your brain needs to rest which prevents further stimulation and calms the brain.
• Read the first few pages of Depressive Illness, The Curse of the Strong by Dr Tim Cantopher. This book gives an excellent understanding of the true meaning of depression.

Dr. Cantopher insists that something has to change if you are to stay well and not relapse.

Some Things to Avoid If You Are Prone to Depression

• Keep off the computer. You may have to give it up for a while, but you will come back to it.
• Avoid reading the news or watching television news, especially when anxious.
• Avoid live TV as some storylines may be difficult to follow. Watch on Catch Up and pause frequently.
• Avoid negativity and people who are ‘glass half empty’ as they will not help you.

Some Things You Can Do to Alleviate Depression

Do Exercise

• Shop each day for a few things. Use local corner shops if larger stores are overwhelming.
• Walk each day, at least twice. Increase the distance. Take a friend.
• Go swimming.
• Do yoga.
• Sing, dance, get a massage or reflexology.
• Do something new.
• Use a power workout DVD.

Journalling

• Keep a notebook/diary of thoughts, feelings, actions that were helpful to you.
• Write down three things you want to do the next day.
• Write down three positive things that happened today.
• Write down three things you are grateful for. Gratitude is now known to be a factor in fighting depression.

Listen to Music

Play Smooth radio, relaxing music, CDs.

Aromatherapy

• Use lavender oil to relax at night and geranium which lifts the mood during the day.
• Practice deep breathing all the time, when waiting in a shop queue or watching TV.
• If you have a relaxation CD, play it 2 to 3 times a day and relax on the floor under a blanket.

Food & Drink

• Eat healthy food. Cut out junk food.
• Search for foods which help depression.
• Drink more water.
• Eat little and often.
• Use ready meals until you feel able to cook.

Practise Good Habits

• Go to bed each night and get at least 8 hours of sleep.
• Visit the library and sit with a book, just feel the warmth, feel the nearness of the human company and the ambience of books around you.
• Visit the library 2 to 3 times a week, take a few books out and return those that do not appeal. Stick with those you like after the first three pages. Try to sit down to read several times a day.
• Make reading a regular part of your day. Read happy romances. Avoid dystopian, tragedies and horror stories until you feel better.
• Follow mental health blogs and self-help websites such as MIND. Read what other people have written. Contribute your own positive ideas which make you feel good. Print out anything useful and put it in your GETTING BETTER file.
• Face up to finance. Budget and look at ways to save money. Avoid credit cards. Instead of regretting overspending, look at your accounts. It may not be as bad as you think.
• Keep occupied – do puzzles, crosswords and read for short periods throughout the day. Reading is known to improve mental health because training your eyes and brain to follow a line across the page will steady the overactive brain.
• Spend some time each day tidying up. A small area, one or two shelves or one or two drawers.
• Sort through your photo albums. This will remind you of happier times.
• Watch happy TV, explore Netflix and BBC I player

The World Health Organisation recognises World Mental Health Day on 10 October every year.

The theme of 2022’s World Mental Health Day, set by the World Federation for Mental Health, is ‘Make mental health and wellbeing for all a global priority’.

Finally, remember that these feelings will pass. Even those with serious mental health conditions are not very ill for very long.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you suffered depression in the autumn months or are you someone who suffers it at other times of the year? How do you cope and what are your coping mechanisms? How do you help those who are near and dear to you?