Robyn Dixon’s Black and White Plaid Outfit

Real Housewives of Potomac Season 7 Episode 1 Fashion

As I always say, I love a matching set because it takes the guesswork out of dressing.  I especially love Robyn Dixon’s black and white plaid outfit because it’s a set that doesn’t involve a crop top. And while Robyn is wearing the look in early Spring, this oversized top and leggings also make up the perfect, fully-stocked Fall ‘fit that is ready to be worn to lunch with an old friend or even causal holiday gatherings. Just don’t forget to include in in your pre-nup, because it’s definitely worth claiming ownership over.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Also Seen on Caroline Stanbury

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Click Here to Shop Her Matching Leggings

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Originally posted at: Robyn Dixon’s Black and White Plaid Outfit

Ashley Darby’s Metallic Cutout Maxi Dress

Real Housewives of Potomac Season 7 Episode 1 Fashion

Ashley Darby looked amazing in her metallic cutout dress down 200ish something lbs of Michael at Karen Huger’s “Spring Fling Celebration of Life” on last night’s Real Housewives of Potomac Season 7 premiere. And while I’d never hope for someone to get divorced, I really think Ashley can find someone to treat her so much better from what I’ve seen on of Michael on TV. And if she keeps looking this good, it won’t be long before she finds out for herself.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to See her Retrofete Dress

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Originally posted at: Ashley Darby’s Metallic Cutout Maxi Dress

On this fresh, cool, sun-dappled morning, I feel washed clean, full of clarity and determined to make some needed changes in my post-60 life.

A Spiritual Experience

This state of mind came to me through some tough work over the past 10 days. I am just emerging from a time of spiritual self-reflection as part of my religious observances, an emotionally powerful time when the core practice is to engage in harsh and unflinching self-evaluation.

The process is meant to make us uncomfortable, to blast open our hearts and minds, to be a stern wake-up call. And it can work wonders for those of us who have crossed the 60-year threshold.

A Time for Tough Self-Love

The point is to be pushed into making positive changes, dropping those old unhelpful (and sometimes harmful) habits. Changing habitual patterns can be excruciatingly difficult though. Often, a shock is required, an emergency, family crisis, hitting bottom in some way.

For some, a profound religious or spiritual experience can be that wake-up call. But maybe, even without a personal crisis or a spiritual epiphany, you can be your own urgent wake-up call and bring yourself into the piercing, shocking, icy cold awareness that life is short and the time for change is now.

Generally, our female wisdom encourages us to be gentle with ourselves, to celebrate our successes, forgive our mistakes and know in our bones we are good enough, at whatever age. And that is all true.

But maybe there is also a place in our lives for tough self-love, for reluctant admissions of faults and failures, for spiritual discipline.

A central theme of most spiritual practices is personal responsibility. Regardless of what is happening around us, or what anyone else is doing, if we’re not suffering a terrible mental or physical illness, we are responsible for our actions.

What Can You Do Differently?

Whether you have financial problems, health issues, conflict at home, loneliness, shaky relationship with your sister/mother/other blood relative or you hate your aged body – chances are, there is something you can do to improve the situation.

Sometimes even small personal changes can have a profound effect on your life circumstances.

Could you become a better, deeper, more patient listener? Do you need to soften your heart, or your tongue? Do you need to stop taking things personally, to have more compassion for those who hurt you?

Would it help if you could let go of your desire to be right or to win an argument? Can you learn the self-awareness to feel anger coming on and not act on it? Are you sometimes too tired, or preoccupied, to respond to a friend in need?

Maybe you need to practice the art of knowing when to speak and when to keep silent. Possibly your life could change if you could become more disciplined in your health habits. Perhaps you need to learn to allow others to help you.

Change of Attitude

Or maybe the change that is needed is a change of attitude. Viktor Frankl, psychologist and Holocaust survivor, said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Could you become more of an optimist in your 60s, seeking out the silver lining, continually reminding yourself to see the glass as half full? Is it possible for you to learn to live in the moment and drop ruminations about the past or the future?

Can you get better at trusting others to handle their own lives without your interference, maybe even trusting the flow of the universe?

Perfection is not required, not even possible. But we need to make efforts in the right direction.

So, along with gentle self-love, maybe there is also a time for wise and stern self-judgement. Life may be even shorter than you think. Make the most of it while you can.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What do you do to intentionally change habits that aren’t helpful to you or those around you? What kind of self-judgement do you go through to make yourself a better person? Do you think it’s possible to change your attitude to life in your 60s? Please share your advice and wisdom in the comments below.

Real Girlfriends in Paris Season 1 Episode 7 Fashion

Well the second leg of the RGIP Cannes trip seemed to be more of a Cannes not. This was the first time we saw the girls get deep and even have a bit of drama among them. Which was surprising because they started their day with shopping and it just seems illegal to have drama after a day like that?! But I guess after spending so much time together spending money won’t help solve their issues. Though when it comes to this post spending money will solve our issue! Which is of course not having some of the looks from last night’s ep in our possession. Thankfully they’ve been rounded up below and are ready to say oui oui oui all the way to our homes.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Margaux Lignel’s Brown Fur Leather Jacket

Click Here to See Her Acne Studios Jacket

ID: @margauxlignel

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Margaux Lignel’s Red and Pink Plaid Dress

Click Here to Shop Her Zara Dress on eBay

Cardigan by Zara

Photo Credit: @vicotrialzito

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Adja Toure’s Brown Square Sunglasses

Click Here to Shop Her Dior Sunglasses

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Victoria Zito’s Pink Hoodie and Skirt

Click Here to Shop Her Coperni Sweatshirt

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Boots by Fendi

Photo + Info: @victroialzito

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Victoria Zito’s Ivory Sherpa Jacket

Click Here to Shop Her Reversible Ba&sh Jacket

Click Here to See Her Kurt Geiger Bag

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Originally posted at: Real Girlfriends in Paris Season 1 Episode 7 Fashion

My mother did NOT age well! And one of the areas that created a lot of havoc in her life was her mental health. She became consumed by a total loss of enjoyment in everything around her.

Over the years, I have been able to identify with that feeling. So can other members of my family, extended family, in-laws, and friends. I am saddened to realize how much the stigma of depression still surrounds us.

When I was in a good place in my life, I remember thinking a co-worker should quit navel gazing and focusing on her own depressive symptoms. She should “suck it up and get over it.”

However, when I became a single parent with two sons aged 7 and 2, the stress and turmoil began taking a toll on me. I was suddenly on my own; my family was not close by; I had a stressful job; my kids needed to get to swimming lessons, hockey, and skating; I had a home and a mortgage and day care costs; and I felt like a failure.

So Began the Downward Spiral

I began losing weight. I couldn’t sleep. I pasted a smile on my face when I was out in public. I did everything I needed to do and pretended I was enjoying it, but what I called the “black cloud” was simply exhausting. It seemed unreal to be that tired and not be able to sleep. Or to want to sleep constantly, only to wake up and still be exhausted.

It was almost 30 years ago, so I did not have a computer or the Internet. But lucky for me, I was a social worker in a hospital, so I had access to medical reference books.

I studied the symptoms of depression and quickly made an appointment with my doctor.

Since then I have been able to read a lot more about depression and mental health, but at the time, I was able to say quite clearly that I…

• Had a feeling of sadness that I could not shake.
• Felt hopeless and helpless.
• Did not have interest in activities I usually enjoyed.
• Was losing weight – food just didn’t have the same appeal that it should have had.
• Had difficulty concentrating.
• Was in a black cloud where I was constantly trying to tell my legs to walk and my face to smile.

My Doctor Referred Me to a Psychiatrist and Slowly I Got My Life Back

I am one of those people who had amazing results from medication. I know some people don’t, but I have never been able to identify with negative comments I have heard about medications for depression.

They did not cloud my mind; they did not stunt my feelings; they did not make me feel like a zombie; they did not make me gain weight – other than eventually getting back to my normal healthy weight when my appetite improved. In my experience, if I had negative side effects I would simply have asked to try another type of medication.

Since then I have learned, I am one of those people who should stay on meds. That’s okay.

At least I do not have the black cloud anymore. In fact, my grandson helped me realize the other day my cloud is now a rainbow. It’s not black. It’s pink, blue, yellow and green.

People get cancer, osteoporosis and arthritis. People get depression and other mental health disorders. They are all illnesses and they all need treatment.

Increasing awareness will help to eliminate the stigma associated with mental illness.

People who suffer from depression or anxiety are not weak, they should not be able to handle the problem on their own, they cannot ‘snap out of it,’ and they are not whining.

Maybe, just maybe, they are looking for some support. Some support that says, “You’re not crazy; how can I help?”

Now that almost 30 years have passed, I have an interest in depression in older adults. As we pass the 60-year mark, there are many challenges to deal with. Illness, death of a loved one, loneliness, financial constraints…

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How has depression affected your life? Have you experienced it in any particular point in life? What type of support helped you? Join the conversation in the comments below.