Yes, these are real! As a dating coach myself, who spends hours daily online with clients, working with an educated group looking for love, LTR, getting back into dating, the things we encounter just couldn’t be made up!

So here we go:

Free Profiles

If they didn’t pay, stay away. No skin in the game means the person isn’t serious. Always remember that dating apps – from Bumble to Match to Hinge and all those in between – are for profit businesses and marketing machines!

Yes, some sites allow “free” members – either to sign up as free or are left online long after their paid memberships have expired. The issue? You can message them as a paying member, but the chances of getting a response are less than 1%. So, don’t bother. Why?

When you send a message to a non-payer, they will likely receive it with a blurred photo of you. Clicking on the photo will take them to the app’s payment page. Basically, they can’t see you if they don’t pay for a membership, and they don’t. So, this is a time-waster for you.

Only pick singles that have real memberships easily seen on their profile.

Anyone with One Photo

If the profile only has a single photo, this is numero uno evidence of a scammer. It’s possible that a bot wrote the profile – not a real person. Stay on the safe side and delete.

Writing Long Messages to a Potential Date

Long messages waste your time. Keep it short and stick with 3-4 sentences with one question asked. Don’t reiterate things in your bio. Our minds have been trained to fast, easy gratification. Save talk of your past, kids, grandkids for future, in-real-life dates.

Phone Conversations

Over 90% of these are a waste of time. As a dating consultant with 30 years’ experience, I can tell you that messaging back and forth 3-4 times is great – then settle for making a date in person for lunch, coffee or a drink in a safe venue.

Chemistry happens in real, life and you don’t really need a phone buddy. Plus, here’s what can happen on the phone:

a) you have a 30-minute conversation and think you click and go into the date with way too high expectations, or

b) the phone conversation is stilted (some people aren’t good on the phone), and you eliminate this person who may have been a great date in person for you.

The only time I see a phone conversation as worthwhile is when you are contemplating meeting someone over 100+ miles away. In that case, a quick conversation may be beneficial to see if it’s worth the travel.

One Tiny Iota of Negativity in Their Profile or Response

Here’s a real message from a woman to one of my male clients: “Tell me about your marriage and why it ended. My ex cheated on me so I’m ultra-careful.” Mark and I looked at her message. Yes, she was super attractive, but her extra-carefulness would not work toward establishing a good relationship. Block. Delete.

As one of my favorite clients put it:

“Online dating is like going into an unknown jungle with all kinds of wild animals, dangerous plants, and traps…. but also, gorgeous flowers, sweet animals and revitalizing pools. A no-nonsense safety guide, who does the briefing BEFORE you go in and then is also the guide who points out things along the way, is imperative. Now, image going into the jungle with NO guide or briefing…. no wonder people have horrible experiences!”

Happy Dating! It’s an adventure!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What is your experience with free profiles on dating websites? Do you reply to messages that sound negative or talk about bad past relationships? What is a red line that you don’t cross in online dating?

Some activities are bound to be more difficult as we get older. Recently, there was an article on Sixty and Me about older women finding cycling difficult. Until about seven years ago, living at the seaside, I swam every day between April and October. Even on working days, I parked at the seafront before going home and swam between groynes at length.

Keeping Active When Younger Will Not Prevent Disability in Later Life

During my life, I have had four dogs and actively engaged in walking them two or three times a day. In 1995, I took early retirement from teaching and suffering from stress and anxiety and was recommended a yoga class. I continued with yoga until around 2017 and only gave up when getting up from, and down to, the floor became difficult.

My balance having suffered the results of severe arthritis in hips and knees, my lovely yoga teacher would give me a chair. Interestingly, my first appointment with an orthopaedic surgeon included being asked to touch my toes.

Laughing I folded myself double and placed my palms flat on the floor at which point he said, ‘well there’s nothing much wrong with you’. My supple body, the result of 22 years of yoga, was disguising the fact I had seriously advanced osteoarthritis.

Furthermore, I have always done all my own decorating, gardening, self-assembly of flat packs and upcycling items from the local tip. My partner and I enjoyed touring holidays in Scotland, France and Italy, and we explored castles and chalets in The Loire, walked round the Isle of Capri and visited many venues at the Edinburgh Festival.

In the month of March that I became 70, we visited Auschwitz and walked the whole extent of this enormous complex. Around this time, a friend asked why I was limping, something I wasn’t aware of. Investigations followed but operations were not possible for health reasons.

Hand Arthritis and How to Keep Your Writing Career Going

About four years ago, the arthritis spread to my hands, a worry for a writer. However, my teaching career included assessing dyslexic students in colleges and universities, and I therefore knew about voice recognition (VR) technology.

While our students were recommended the latest version of Dragon NaturallySpeaking, for my writing, the most up-to-date software was not essential. I obtained version 11 on eBay for £35, installed it on my computer and haven’t looked back since.

One tip: Before trying someone else’s VR, be aware you train the software to respond to your voice. You cannot use someone else’s VR.

About three years ago, I began struggling with shopping. I lived halfway up the hill and on the first floor of a Victorian building. Even if I used the car, I couldn’t then carry bags upstairs. My partner lived in a separate flat at the top of the building. During the pandemic, we shared online deliveries, him carrying the bags up the stairs.

Getting About

Life was, however, getting more difficult. Three to four years ago, I bought a cheap second-hand mobility scooter. I began to tootle around my home town and a common conversation began with, ‘I haven’t seen you for ages…’

This scooter completely changed my life, although, amazingly, some people are disdainful. I was also encouraged to apply for a blue badge, giving me access to a disabled parking space in car parks. This is something else some are reluctant to apply for. But my aim has always been to live a normal life.

Sometimes a Move Is Necessary

Eventually, I sold my flat on the first floor and moved nearer to family in a retirement block with a lift and a manager. There is parking for mobility scooters and charging points. My move has enabled me to go further afield with daily trips along the seafront.

I have two wheelie walkers, one with a seat and one with a pocket for transporting items to and from the car or scooter. A new acquisition is a lightweight scooter for car journeys and aeroplanes. I have also recently bought a larger car with a view to having a hoist for my scooter, which means I can travel further afield and will be indispensable on road trips. (Please note that for people on benefits this equipment can be obtained through charities and social services.)

Please Do Not Pity Us

Occasionally, I’m reminded of a friend who, seeing me on my scooter, gave a pitying look and said, “How depressing,” to which I answered, “Not at all. I can now lead a normal life,” adding “my brain still works!” She was not convinced.

If you are tempted to feel the same, please read articles in the Saturday Times by Melanie Reid a paraplegic since her horse-riding accident.

Sometimes You Just Need Another Way

I am writing this to encourage anyone finding their mobility decreasing. If walking is becoming painful and stairs well-nigh impossible, moving house may be necessary. Since relocating, I made new friends my own age. I am frequently at the cinema and theatre. Although attending a yoga class is not always possible, I can recommend a book, Chair Yoga by Christina D’Arrogo.

Recently, I obtained disability benefit and now have reduced ticket prices at theatres and cinemas. I am also starting a Master’s in Creative Writing at my local university and have applied for the Disabled Students Allowance.

I swim at a local health club on off-peak membership two to three times a week which compensates for my physical inactivity. I am constantly campaigning for disabled access to venues. A Facebook advertisement for one venue appeared several times and every time I commented, “Have you resolved the disabled access yet?”

I’m delighted to say that after three or four replies, my last comment received the answer that “We now have a scooter, just phone and we will book it for you.” If a restaurant or pub doesn’t have a disabled toilet, I always mention that in my online review of the place, and never return.

Life is good, and I do not consider myself disabled. I see Facebook posts that say getting old sucks and many moan about lack of mobility.

I am not one of those people.

And . . .

I hope this article means you won’t be either.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you found your mobility is impaired as you have grown older? If so, how are you coping? If you are disabled, how do you keep yourself active and fit? Can you join the campaign to get equal access for disabled people to all venues? If you are able-bodied, please ask about facilities. Do you have experience of physical disability within your family or friendship group?

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In the last few years, Kristen Stewart has worn her hair blonde and medium-length, with a bit of a shag. Not since her role as Joan Jett in the 2010 movie The Runaways have we seen the actor with a brunette mullet. But Stewart brought back the cool-girl cut while sitting front row at Chanel’s Paris Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2023 show — a show that was actually inspired by the fashion icon. She’s rocked buzz cuts, textured bobs, bleach blonde and more but this might be our favorite yet.

Her longtime hairstylist, Adir Abergel, is responsible for the chop that looks a bit like a grown-out pixie cut, in the best way possible. He shared all the angles of her style on Instagram stories so we can see exactly how choppy the cut is. We couldn’t be more obsessed. The Creative Director of Virtue Labs used the brand’s 6-in-1 Styling Paste ($38 at Ulta Beauty) to create that shaggy finished look.

Kristy Sparow/Getty Images.

Stewart paired her new cut in the deep brunette hue, a perfect shade for fall, with a head-to-toe Chanel ‘fit. Her makeup was subtle with a low-key smoky eye and natural-looking skin.

Instagram/hairbyadir.

This new cut and beauty look feels the most like Kristen Stewart than we’ve seen in a long time. She has the confidence, the facial structure and the swagger to pull off such an edgy chop. When she has a golden blonde bob, she looks gorgeous but it just doesn’t feel like her. And that’s not to even mention the long brunette hair she wore during her Twilight days. This is so much cooler.

We have a feeling we’re going to be seeing a lot of shaggy mullets this fall and winter. Chat with your hairstylist to see the best length and style for your face shape and go for it.

Diana Jenkins’ Red Sequin Gown at Kyle’s Charity Event

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 12 Finale Fashion

Diana Jenkins is red-y for the party and the finale of RHOBH. I think her freshman season was pretty good?! I mean she brought the fashion and certainly brought the drama, which is really all we can ask for. Except we can also ask for a Style Stealer of this stunning red sequin gown. Thankfully that can be easily found at the bottom of the staircase post.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here to Shop Her Bottega Veneta Dress

Photo: @sdjneuro

Originally posted at: Diana Jenkins’ Red Sequin Gown

Erika Jayne’s Teal Sequin Dress at Kyle’s Charity Event

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 12 Finale Fashion

It is sad to see season 12 of RHOBH come to an end. Almost as sad as it is to see that Erika Jayne’s teal sequin dress she’s wearing has also come to an end. But that’s why we’re here to find some amazing similar styles of it for ya! Which you will see the one’s rounded up below are a total s-teal.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Her Alexandre Vauthier Dress is Sold Out at Net-a-Porter

1st Photo Credit: @sdjneuro

Originally posted at: Erika Jayne’s Teal Sequin Dress