I am a worrier, and I have suffered lifelong from anxiety. I realized that giving into those things were creating a vicious circle. Throughout my entire life, I have allowed worry and anxiety to rob me of the joy in the moment.

Countless moments.

So, I decided this summer that my project for myself was going to work on the act of being present in my life’s moments. To really listen to and take joy in what my grandchildren have to say. To laugh wholeheartedly without worrying, at the same time, about something bad happening over which I have no control. To sink into my husband’s hug and think about nothing else in that moment.

I came across a quote by Buddha that captured it for me completely. He said:

“Be where you are. Otherwise you will miss your life.”

I would encourage everyone reading this to really take in the power of that statement. How much of your life have you missed up until now by not being present? How much are you willing to miss moving forward?

I plan to take my summer of being present into the fall, winter, spring and next summer.

What I’ve Learned in the Process

It’s Hard Work!

Especially at the beginning.

Changing, creating, or discarding any habit is hard work at the beginning.  But, if your “why” is strong enough, you’ll persevere. For me, I was just really tired of looking back on so many fun events in my life and realizing that I wasn’t fully there.

For any of them.

But It Pays Off!

One day in August, after working at this for over two months, I realized that I was truly enjoying the moment and with relatively little effort! I don’t know when it became easier, but it did at some point in the process. Since then, I’ve had several times where I’ve been aware that I’m truly fully present, and it didn’t require me working at it.

There are definitely still and always will be situations where I do have to work at it. Our family is flying to a tropical destination for a family wedding, and I have to work to steer my mind away from worry about all of the possible things that could go wrong and ruin our trip and think instead about all of the positive things that I have to look forward to.

Maintaining my daily journaling habit has been a helpful tool in this journey. Two common reflection areas for me are:

1. What does the version of me look like who is … (whatever I want to fill in the blank with that day);
2. What are my thoughts and feelings that drive my actions, rather than the actual circumstances, AND that I have control over those.

Be Aware of the Barriers That Stand in Your Way

This is a huge topic of its own, but we all have barriers. And 95% of these barriers come from within us. They can stem from deeply ingrained core beliefs about how we view the world, or from general mindset issues.

I have grown up with the core belief that the world is not safe. This is largely where my constant anxiety and worry come from. My awareness of this belief helps me to find proof in my daily life that the world is, indeed, safer than I think.

Tell People What You’re Doing

Telling friends and family will provide you with accountability and, likely, support, as well. My husband has been amazing at giving me a gentle reminder when we are in a situation where he sees that I am not being as present as I could be. Telling others makes us vulnerable, but, typically, that is a mindset issue that we can overcome.

Also, finding a community of others who are working on similar goals is helpful. Those like minded people can be an excellent resource as well as a group who gets what you’re going through. Finding others has never been easier than it is now with all of the social media options, local meetups, etc.

Anxiety Has Been Significantly Less

I find that I am feeling better overall. Physically and emotionally. I am sleeping better and walking almost every day. It is hard for me to know whether I can attribute this wholly to my summer of being present, but I’m sure that there is a correlation.

I challenge everyone today: be where you are so you don’t miss out on your life. Whether we have a day left or 40 years, we deserve to find the joy in our experiences each and every day.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you find that worry and anxiety prevent you from experiencing joy in your day? Do you tend to worry about things that haven’t happened and likely won’t? What possible barriers or core beliefs might you be carrying around that are feeding into this?

Have you ever turned on the heat or air conditioning in your house and felt your skin revolt? Maybe the dry, hot, blasting air dried up your face like a prune, or maybe the wet blanket of humidity made your skin drizzle lard?

Weather and temperature have a huge effect on your skin and navigating those shifts can be baffling. To that end, in this article we will go over some tried and true methods to work with your skin and the ever-changing weather to keep things plump and glowing, your face, that is.

One of the best things that ever happened to me is that I’m a woman. That is the way all females should feel.

Marilyn Monroe (Parade 2022)

With the positivity of Marilyn Monroe, let’s embark on the best strategies to manage temperature changes. Skin care at its most basic includes a good cleanser, moisturizer, C serum (in the morning), and retinol (in the evening). Modifying these products, as well as diet and daily habits can be the clincher for luscious skin through every season.

Going from warm to cold, how does your skin behave? Does it become dehydrated and chapped, or just slightly irritated? For example, as the temperature cools, at times it’s necessary to invest in a creamy cleanser (if you use a foaming cleanser) and a heavier moisturizer that is more hydrating and gentler. Much depends on the severity of the seasonal change, and also your general health.

Skin Care for Warm to Cold Temperatures

If your skin becomes noticeably drier in cold weather, try an oil or creamy cleanser like Bioderma Face Cleansing Oil, and a more deeply hydrating moisturizer like Image MD Restoring Moisturizer. Both are moderately priced and the Image MD moisturizer has the added bonus of having an SPF 50, important in all weather conditions.

Use your C serum daily through all weather, and, if your skin is much more irritated in cold weather, you might have to modulate your retinol use. Therefore, if you use a strong retinol every day in warm weather, you might have to switch to every other day as it cools down.

For you lucky ladies with oily skin, be sure that you use a foaming cleanser like Cetephil and adjust your moisturizer for the season to match your level of dryness. For example, CeraVe Oily Skin Moisturizer is great for all seasons, and during the winter consider avoiding a toner as that can cause undue dryness.

A little note on diet. Colder temperatures can mean an uptake in heavier types of foods and hot beverages. At times, this can tax the digestive system and affect your skin. Specifically, you will notice this in your under-eye area which shows how well your liver is doing.

One on-camera talent I worked with would, after a heavy lunch, look like a Panda no matter how much concealer I used on him! Once he did a cleanse, the issue greatly improved. Another suggestion is to increase your gut flora with supplements, which is never a bad idea no matter the season.

Skin Care for Cold to Warm Temperatures

About two months ago I moved to Cuenca, Ecuador to live, and consequently shifted from a brutally hot summer in Colorado, to what’s considered winter here in Ecuador. Cuenca sits at about 10,000 feet above sea level, so the temperatures are moderate, and locals are under the delusion that 50 degrees at night is cold!

Having lived in Colorado where 20 degrees is considered cold, the adjustment for me was in a higher humidity (it’s about 85% now) and no pollution. Amazing. As we shift into summer in October, I’m noticing I need far less moisturizer, and more sunscreen with a stronger sunshine and lots of time outdoors.

In fact, some days I don’t need moisturizer at all and my C serum in the morning is plenty of hydration. On days when I do need moisturizer, I use Tatcha Harper Water Crème. It’s hydrating without being heavy or oily. For a budget friendly version try Olay Regenerist Micro-Sculpting Creme, it contains hyaluronic acid and a rich formula perfect for normal skin.

Another note on diet. In warmer months, we can tend to drink cold drinks which tax the system as much if not more than heavy foods in winter. I know about half of you just rolled your eyes at that comment but take into consideration that in Singapore if you ask for a drink, they give you warm water.

Singapore is 90 degrees on a good day with 95% humidity, so why the warm water? Warm drinks cool the system, while cold drinks actually heat it up! It feels counterintuitive, but it can benefit your skin to have a calmer system that doesn’t have to work so hard. If you have sensitive and irritated skin, maybe try altering this part of your diet.

Avoiding lard dripping down your face, being a walking prune, or having Panda eyes can keep anyone blessed enough to be a woman busy. Having said that, a little knowledge and the right strategies can make a huge difference and keep your skin happy no matter what the weather.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you notice any changes in your skin as the weather changes? Have you noticed something similar when you travel to different destinations? What do you do to compensate and properly care for your skin?

Are you experiencing emotions of sadness and grief while coping with the loss of a pet? Are you unable to even imagine moving forward into your life again without them? Would you like to tell your buddy once again that you love them?

I understand. It can be really difficult to accept the passing of your animal friend from the physical form to the spirit form. This physical separation can create a huge gap of unexplained emotions.

Coping with the loss of a pet can be overwhelming and at times emotionally paralyzing. You probably already know that grieving for your pet is painful and can leave you feeling miserable.

There is no perfect way to grieve. You received a lot from your animal and will always have in your heart the love he or she gave to you.

Also know that grieving is normal and very unique to you. No two people grieve the same, and it all depends on your experiences with previous loss, cause of death, support system and your beliefs around death.

Give yourself all the time that you need to go through the grieving process, as there are no shortcuts. Experiencing the pain of your loss is an essential part of working through and integrating your grief.

Heartache is numbing, and at moments of grief it is important to take care of yourself. There are many ways that this can be done. Here are some of the ways in which I offer pet grief support and help my clients take charge to transform their grief to joy after their animal dies.

Grieving the Loss of a Pet Is Normal

Grief equals mixed feelings of despair, anger, guilt, shock, denial, pain, bargaining, reflection, loneliness and more! Writing, talking about and expressing how you feel in a supportive atmosphere can help you transform your feelings.

Your Endearing Bond

The bond that you shared with your animal was filled with love, caring, endearment, tenderness, fondness and enthusiasm.

So, focusing on how your lives and routines evolved over the years, will strengthen the continued relationship that you can have with them in the after life!

Cherishing the End-of-Life Experience

Feelings of fear, panic, failure or catastrophe are very common during the end-of-life process. The time when your companion is at the end-of-life stages can bring up a lot of feelings.

It’s helpful to remember that death means that your friend’s life has simply come to an end as all life eventually does. Being compassionate to yourself and thanking your animal for all that was shared can help you be better prepared as you make some important decisions.

Welcoming Joy Back into Your Life

Feeling moments of joy after your animal dies is not a cause for you to feel guilty. Fortifying yourself with positive thoughts about your life with your animal never betrays your companion. Instead, this is what your animal really wants from you – to honor the joyful relationship that you shared!

So remember, even though your pet has died, they are always accessible to you. With your heart and soul, you are able to be in contact with them and hear what they have to say, which has helped many of my clients transform their grief to joy.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Can you share with us ways in which you cherished your pet and welcomed joy back into your life? What are special things in particular that bring you happiness when you remember your pet? Please join the conversation below!

Do you ever feel a bit lost? Are there days when you lose your sparkle and question who you are and what you’re doing? Do you sometimes feel irrelevant and that you don’t have much to look forward to? It’s so easy sometimes to get stuck in a negative spiral, isn’t it?

I’ve been there myself, and I know how hard it can be to get motivated again. Especially as we age, in a society that doesn’t exactly value older people.

One of the reasons I set up The Mutton Club was to try and change the narrative around women in midlife and beyond. I want being ‘mutton’ (ref. ‘mutton dressed as lamb’) to be something to be proud of, not ashamed.

All our lives, women are fed the narrative that we get to midlife, and it’s all downhill from there. And that’s so not true!

I genuinely believe that the older we get, the better we get. And I’m passionate about getting that into women’s heads. But how can we help ourselves when we have a dip in confidence? Here are my top tips I find useful every day, especially when I’m feeling a bit lost.

Don’t Believe Society’s Narrative About Older Women

You can create your own narrative in the same way you create your own life. Be proud of who you are and where you are in life. Be proud to be mutton – it’s a far tastier meat than lamb after all!

Don’t Believe Your Negative Thoughts

Just because something exists as a thought, doesn’t make it true. It’s taken me a long time to learn that but it’s really good advice. You can actually change your thoughts like you change your socks. Positive affirmations can be very powerful, too. We can rewire our thought processes if we change our internal narrative patterns.

Don’t Judge Yourself

Be as nice to yourself as you would be to a friend. If your friend was down, you’d probably give them a nice nurturing positive pep talk, wouldn’t you? Well, do that to yourself. Talk to yourself the same way you’d talk to your friend.

Visualize Yourself Being Confident

See yourself in a scenario where you’re excelling. A few years ago I thought this was complete mumbo jumbo, but I’ve found it’s actually very powerful.

I’ve learnt that professional athletes do it all the time. They visualize themselves standing on the podium with the medal around their neck. A bit of positive self-talk can do wonders. Don’t think, “Oh, I can’t do that.” Think, “I can’t do that YET.”

Try Not to Misinterpret

Check what you think you heard. Could it have been meant differently to how you heard it? Or read it, if a message or email – those can be so easy to get wrong!

Try Meditating

I’m not as disciplined as I’d like to be when it comes to meditation, but I’ve found it very useful for getting me back in the moment and grounding myself. Even five minutes a day is worth doing. There are many meditation apps you can use, such as Headspace (paid after the first 10 days) and Insight Timer (free).

Start a Gratitude Journal

I don’t journal very regularly, but when I do, it makes a big difference to how I feel. Taking some time each day to write down the things we are grateful for is another good way of grounding ourselves.

It could be as simple as, “I’m grateful I woke up again this morning!” Or “I’m grateful to have orange juice for breakfast!” Just keep it simple. But it helps to reframe our experience of life.

Try Setting Yourself a Challenge

It’s easy to get down when we have no sense of momentum. Setting ourselves a challenge, however small, can be really helpful.

I’m an uninspired cook, so setting myself the challenge of baking a cake would be massive. Even compared to my first half marathon last year! I don’t know what it is about me and baking, but it brings me out in a cold sweat! Still I know magic happens outside the comfort zone.

I hope these tips may help. Always remember, if you’re feeling a bit lost, you’re most certainly not alone. It can happen to all of us. Be kind to yourself and remember: time is a great healer.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What do you do when your mojo is monkey decides to go for a walk? Do you have a list of activities that help you out?

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I remember the first time I saw Jennifer Aniston on ‘Friends’—when she was in her extremely long hair phase—and I wanted nothing more than to have those exact locks on my head. Decades have passed, and Aniston has remained my hairspo (hair inspiration for those not in tune with the vernacular) throughout all of the cuts and colors that she’s donned, so when she casually unveiled one of the tools that she uses to quaff her locks, I took immediate note.

It all went down on the Emmy winner’s Instagram, where she posted a tutorial showing off one of the products from her haircare brand, Lolavie. See, after she applied the Glossing Detangler to her wet locks, she brushed them with a $7 brush that you can find on sale ahead of Amazon Prime Day.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jennifer Aniston (@jenniferaniston)

RELATED: People Are Ditching Expensive Hair Products For This $7 Treatment That Makes Strands ‘Feel More Alive’

The Wet Brush is not your average comb. It’s made with special bristles that flex as they encounter any tangles in your hair, so that your locks aren’t yanked or broken. Designed to contour to your head’s round shape for comfortable brushing, the haircare essential is a fan favorite among those who struggle with hair loss. Shoppers say that compared to most other hair detanglers, this one “hurts less and causes less breakage.”

Though the clip Aniston posted is quick, you can see just how easy the brush runs through her locks. Her hair doesn’t get caught on any bristles, and the product runs through her hair like a hand in water—smoothly and gracefully. That’s the kind of experience we all deserve when we just wake up, or finish up a relaxing shower.

Courtesy of Wet Brush.

Wet Brush Brush Pro Flex Dry

There’s nothing more dreadful than getting out of the shower only to know that you have to spend 10 minutes combing through your hair and experiencing tug after tug. This brush prevents that from happening in the first place—even when it’s used on dry hair.

“I have longer color-treated hair and this brush works great in getting through my freshly shampooed/conditioned hair,” wrote one five-star reviewer. “Please don’t do away with this brush because it truly is the best!”

Given all these rave posts, it’s no shock that more than 4,000 people have given the brush an average 4.8-star rating. It seems that, as always, when it comes to hair care, Jennifer Aniston got it right.

Courtesy: Wet Brush.

Wet Brush Go Green Hair Detangler

Another similar brush from the brand has just as much fanfare (and is also on sale). This brush’s ultra-gentle bristles reduce hair loss, prevent breakage, and strengthen your strands. It’s also compact, making it great for on-the-go use and while traveling. Not to mention, the handle is made from all-natural biodegradable materials. Who knew you could detangle your hair while also taking care of the environment?

“I swear by Wet Brushes. I have curly thin hair so I like to be as gentle as possible with my hair. These brushes are great when my hair is wet, dry, tangled, styled, etc.,” wrote one shopper who gave the brush a perfect rating on Amazon.

It’s clear to see why Wet Brushes are beloved by many, including celebs like Jennifer Aniston. You can get voluminous locks like hers when you shop the top-rated detangling brush for just $7 on Amazon. Your hair and your scalp will thank you.