There are many reasons why a mother- and a daughter-in-law are quiet or reserved around each other. At times, people overstep the boundaries others have set up for them. That causes one party to be angry with the other.

The resentment occurs when we believe someone has unrightfully entered our space and we want justice. Sometimes that can mean atonement.

None of us think about the times when we tread on others, but if it happens to us it becomes a different and powerful story. It can lead one down the path of unreasonable behavior and sometimes revenge.

When Mothers-In-Law Say Too Much

Have you ever gone to a party and spoken your mind? Did you later regret some of what you said? The words that mothers-in-law use are sometimes loaded with an instructive, controlling tone.

They don’t mean to sound this way, but mothers have been teaching their offspring for so many years that it is difficult to stop all the advice at once. Yet, stopping is what must be done if one is to keep peace and allow their son to be liberated.

Daughters-in-law resent most – or all – unwanted advice and don’t want to be told they are wrong. In all actuality, nobody likes to be told they are wrong.

As hard as it is, the mother-in-law must learn to let her adult children make their own way, even if to her it is plain clear that they are making mistakes.

We can’t keep our adult children from each and every mistake no matter how hard we try. It is important, therefore, to let go and allow them to live their life the way they choose. Nothing will irritate a daughter-in-law more than interfering with her and her husband’s business.

Mothers-In-Law Can Say Too Little

There is the other extreme for mothers-in-law – to say too little. This happens when a mother-in-law is hurt with all the insults that result from her mild, or not so mild, interference.

As a result, she is wounded and reacts by staying outside of the normal conversation people are having. This only upsets her son and his wife even more. They take her behavior as a strategy to place them on the defensive. It’s universally true, however, that nobody wants to defend their actions or words.

We may not notice that we are building borders around ourselves and hiding behind a tall wall of good intentions. In the meantime, our son and his wife are constructing their own fences and keeping us out.

Is that what we really want? Saying too much does cause issues, but saying too little makes people assume you are thinking the worst. After all, neither of these scenarios counts as cooperating with your in-law.

Being a Martyr Doesn’t Work

As an extreme strategy, many mothers- and daughters-in-law become the martyr and assume they will gain attention. There is no positive outcome to be found, however. Everyone sees through the acting, and they resent the attempt to garner support in such a manner.

The bond in an in-law relationship is found at a place in the middle, where both parties need to meet. Unfortunately, that is the hardest area for us to visit because it’s important for us to think that everything we say and do is always correct.

Our perception of our own rightfulness might be rooted in childhood when we were often told that we were wrong. Or it could be based on being told we’re right even when wrong. Yet at the end of the day, neither makes any difference.

As we grow into adulthood, we discover that throughout any given day we are wrong and right many times. Who cares how many times we were wrong? That is the question we should ask.

Atonement Can Equate to Punishment

The trouble appears when a mother- or daughter-in-law is punished for speaking too much or too little. Once we have offended an in-law, we must pick up the pieces of the relationship and try to put it back together. If we refuse to forgive or apologize, we only add to the pain that has already been experienced.

I have often heard people say, “I know I am not always right but…” If we truly believe that is true, then we can all agree that we do make mistakes and require forgiveness.

Likewise, there are times when each of us has been correct, and that leaves us with the job of offering forgiveness to someone else. If we want forgiveness, we ought to be willing to offer it to others.

Making a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law pay over and over for something she did can add to our own baggage and leave us exhausted in the end. It is far better to dump the anger, anxiety and bad feelings. Nobody wants to carry that baggage around.

Mistakes Grant Us the Opportunity to Learn

We learn the most when making mistakes. The next step is to choose to walk a different road when again confronted with the same problem.

The desire to say or do something when you are not asked to contribute is a lesson better learned early. It gets easier every time you are successful at maintaining neutrality. Even if you slip up, it is better to just acknowledge it and walk away before saying anything else.

You don’t have to be angry with yourself. After so many years of teaching – because you are a parent – it is not easy to let go of your instinct to give advice. It is still relevant that you keep trying until you succeed.

Courage and Compromise Allow Us to Make Peace

It takes honesty and courage to see and accept our errors. It takes compromise from both sides to make amends and bring about peace. When countries make peace, they gain and lose, but the powerful result is worthwhile to all because they have gained harmony.

Likewise, none of us can make our mother- or daughter-in-law disappear, nor would we want our son or husband to suffer the pain if we could.

What we can do is gather our courage and work on a solution that leads to peace for everyone. If we expect our world, country, city or community to find peace, then we must begin within our homes and, especially, within ourselves.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How do you keep the communication positive and open with your in-laws? What are the most difficult conversations you have had with them? Please share your experiences below!

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

A-listers investing in companies is nothing new. There’s Nicole Kidman and Vegamour and now Leonardo DiCaprio and Løci. When a celeb puts their own money into a brand, it means they have a steadfast belief in the company and where it’s headed. By doing so, the stars are not only providing financial support, but they’re also putting brand names on the map. To add to the growing list, none other than Gwyneth Paltrow invested in Saie Beauty back in 2020. Paltrow has her own wellness and lifestyle venture, Goop, so she’s no stranger to the beauty world and certainly has a keen eye for products.

The actress is known for her effortless beauty—from her thorough skincare routine to her minimalist makeup looks. Now, she’s endorsing a brand that excels in just that: minimalist makeup. If you’re after the “no makeup” makeup aesthetic that literally every cool girl on social media is rocking, look no further than Saie Beauty. Its entire lineup consists of just 16 products (not including its gift sets and merch). After all, less is more!

Front and center are the brand’s extensive sustainability efforts. To start, it has a program for recycling empty products. Saie Beauty additionally uses eco-friendly product packaging, is climate neutral certified, donates 1 percent of all sales to environmental non-profit organizations, is certified plastic negative, is part of the Carbon Neutral Club and is Leaping Bunny Certified. 

Plus, Saie Beauty makes sure all of its ingredients are clean and safe, working with top-tier labs to ensure its formulas are the best of the best for both your skin and the planet. 

You don’t need me to tell you that it’s important to back brands that invest their time and money into protecting the earth and creating safe and effective products for shoppers. Paltrow has been ahead of the game since 2020.

And might I add that Saie Beauty’s products carry affordable price tags? You’d probably assume clean beauty essentials would burn a hole through your wallet, but not when they’re made by Saie Beauty. Its most affordable product is the Liquid Lip Balm for $16, while its most expensive offering is the Lip Blur Duo for $44.

Keep reading for some of the beauty brand’s bestsellers and why you need them in your regular rotation.

RELATED: The TikTok-Viral Glow Gel That ‘Makes Your Skin Look Years Younger’ Is Back In Stock

Photo: Saie Beauty.

Glowy Super Gel 

@mikaylanogueira helped the Glowy Super Gel go viral on TikTok. The lightweight illuminator adds the most beautiful and natural-looking dewy finish to your complexion. Use it as a primer or highlighter, or even on its own, and you’ll be glowing in no time. In the TikToker’s try-on video, she says the product is “an immediate hit” and that she’s “obsessed.” The Glowy Super Gel has already sold out before but is finally back in stock, so make sure you place your order ASAP.

Saie.

Dew Blush 

I discovered this blush while scrolling through @katiehub.org’s TikToks. It caught my attention because the creator says “Rare Beauty has been replaced” in the video. If there’s one blush the beauty community stans, it’s the Soft Pinch Liquid Blush from Selena Gomez’s brand. Try out Saie Beauty’s Dew Blush for yourself to see how it compares. 

Photo: Saie Beauty.

Slip Tint 

For those who can’t stand heavier full-coverage foundations, reach for this tinted moisturizer that also provides sun protection. It’s packed with hyaluronic acid for deep hydration, licorice root for radiance and pansy flower for antioxidant benefits and protection against free radicals. It’s so good that it has won awards from Allure, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, New Beauty and SELF.

Photo: Saie Beauty.

Hydrabeam 

This concealer is one of Saie Beauty’s newer products, having launched in May of 2022. However, it’s already secured quite a loyal fanbase. The product has an impressive 4.7-star overall rating on the brand’s site, with one shopper saying, “I always had to color correct my under-eyes [and] then apply concealer, but with Hydrabeam, my under-eye dark circles are completely camouflaged.” Get your eyes looking bright, smooth and wide-awake with the Hydrabeam concealer.

Saie.

Every Body Dew Balm 

This special edition of the Dew Balm (in Bronze Nectar) is a lot more than its pretty packaging. Saie Beauty teamed up with over 35 beauty and wellness brands to create the Every Body Campaign (a.k.a. the largest beauty industry-backed reproductive justice initiative to date). Saie is giving 100 percent of the proceeds from the sale of this product to SisterSong, an organization that fights for reproductive justice for women of color. With a greater purpose like this one, make sure you head to checkout with the Every Body Dew Balm in your cart. 

As far back as I can remember, conventional wisdom has been that the higher our HDL cholesterol levels, the less we and our healthcare providers had to be concerned about our ‘bad’ LDL cholesterol levels.

Now, new research is suggesting this may no longer be the case – especially for us boomer women. As you can imagine, these new insights into the role that good cholesterol plays in maintaining our health could affect our proactive efforts to stay healthy.

What, Exactly, Is Cholesterol?

Cholesterol is a very necessary waxy, fat-like substance that serves as an important building block in every single one of our cells. For example, we all need cholesterol to make hormones and vitamin D.

And our organs, mostly the liver, produce a lot of the cholesterol we need – about 80%. Only about 20% comes from the food we eat. If we have too much cholesterol circulating in our blood, it can create sticky deposits (called plaque) along the artery walls.

Plaque can eventually narrow or block the flow of blood to the brain, heart and other organs. Blood cells that get caught on the plaque can form clots which, if they break loose from the artery wall, can cause a stroke, heart attack or other organ deficiency.

Good and Bad Cholesterol

This is where the difference between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ cholesterol factors in. Reportedly, the bad cholesterol causes plaque build-ups in the arteries, and the good cholesterol carries fats away from the heart. This helps to reduce the build-up of plaque and lower the risk of cardiovascular disease.

In fact, many of us most likely have had this discussion with our doctor and heard that “HDL is good cholesterol and the higher, the better!”

However, boomers should be aware of some new and credible evidence that may be turning this long-held belief of “more HDL cholesterol is better” on its head. Higher levels of HDL may not necessarily mean lower risk for cardiovascular disease in some postmenopausal older women.

Apparently, changes that happen to our bodies during and after menopause may impact the ability of ‘good’ cholesterol to protect our hearts.

But it’s not only menopause that may affect how our good cholesterol works. Gene mutations may raise HDL cholesterol levels, and in these instances, rather than protecting against heart disease, it increases our risk for it.

Additionally, both high and low levels of HDL cholesterol may increase our risk for premature death. There is evidence that individuals with very high HDL – above 90 mg/dL – are more likely to die of non-cardiovascular causes than those whose HDL was more mid-range.

In fact, it has been suggested that we may want to work to keep our HDL levels in the range between 60 and 80 mg/dL.

What Does All This Mean for Boomers?

We should never forget the importance of balance in our quest to remain healthy. Having too much ‘good’ cholesterol may be harmful for our health and having too little may not be healthy either.

While research clearly indicates that there is more to HDL levels and how they can impact our heart health than previously believed, it cannot be viewed in isolation from other health factors.

Therefore, we should always work with our healthcare providers to look at our complete health picture and determine our risk for heart disease and what steps we should be taking to reduce it.

This includes looking at our weight, physical activity, nutrition, genetics and other risk factors such as diabetes and family history of heart disease.

Finally, always inquire about relevant tests that go beyond simple cholesterol measurements. For example, there are tests which evaluate inflammation, lipid deposits, endothelial dysfunction, clotting factors as well as other risk factors.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

When is the last time you had your cholesterol checked? What did your doctor tell you about your numbers? Have you ever had other heart diagnostic tests? Do you follow a heart-healthy diet? Tell us about it. Please join the conversation.

Editor’s Note: The information in this article is not professional medical advice and should not be treated as such.

When was the last time a general perception you have about money got in the way of living life to the fullest after 60?

Although they may seem harmless on the surface, when left unchecked and unhealed, general perceptions about money and happiness that are rooted in scarcity can negatively impact your ability to manifest your desires after 60.

In this article and the accompanying video, which is part of an ongoing series for Sixty and Me readers, we will look at limiting beliefs about money and the role scarcity plays in your happiness after 60.

The Survival Mindset

Many generalized limiting beliefs about life that are commonly held by many of our generation masquerade as positive beliefs.

One of the most pervasive is the belief about money and its relationship to happiness.

Most of us were raised and educated around the belief that money and happiness are scarce. This belief tells us the only way to access either of them is through hard work, sacrificing fun and staying on the same path until you get what you want.

This creates a survival mindset, which affects your overall well-being at any age, especially after 60.

In our younger days, this survival mindset may have produced some astounding results.

For example, many of us pushed ourselves to work harder than others, sacrificed fun for long stretches at a time and remained diligent on our intended path. All of it was an attempt to achieve our desires before someone got to them first.

If you are like myself and many others who achieved some measure of success and happiness through this survival mindset, it left you unexpectedly frustrated and dismayed, not to mention emotionally exhausted.

This is because no matter how hard or long you worked or how much you achieved, a survival mindset leaves the inner void for acceptance, love, and happiness unfulfilled.

That was then and this is now. Or is it?

When a New Desire Comes Calling

Imagine a specific desire that has been calling on you to take inspired action on it.

Perhaps it is to secure a full-or-part-time job, turn a hobby into a side business, write a book, or make an investment in the financial market.

If you hold a limiting belief about scarcity that tells you there is not enough money or lucrative opportunities to go around, what do you think your emotional state will be when new desires come calling to you?

I Don’t Have Enough

You may believe you don’t have enough money or education to be, do, and have what you desire after 60. And this creates anxiety, stress, and adds to low self-esteem.

Others Will Outrun Me

You may believe someone younger or with more experience will get what you want before you do. This inspires you to work extremely hard and sacrifice your well-being to get what you desire before the opportunity is lost.

This adds to your anxiety and stress, not to mention overwhelm and physical exhaustion. Both of which are not good for anyone, no matter your age.

I Can’t Take Action

There is another side to this. It’s when you don’t take any action on the desire.

This could be underscored by a limiting belief that earlier in life you failed with past efforts and would fail again, so why even bother now?

Am I Worthy?

Another belief is the imposter syndrome, where you question your worthiness to do such things after 60.

I Lack Support

And yet another belief is the outside world won’t support your efforts.

In these instances, a person who cannot see past their limiting beliefs will sabotage their efforts before any momentum can be generated.

This leads to increased depression, self-doubt, and resentment.

In either case, the general perception of money and scarcity is reflected in a lack of believing in your own personal worthiness. This limiting belief is confirmed by how you perceive the outside world.

Time to Tell a New Story

How do we approach the subject of money and achieve our desires for sustainable happiness if we have been unknowingly telling a toxic story through limiting beliefs?

Start telling a new story.

1. A new story about money.
2. A new story about who you are.
3. A new story about the infinite abundance in our world.

When you realize a limiting belief, and the general perceptions of life it is framed by, is based on stories, it becomes clear that to change a limiting belief to a more empowering one requires changing the story the belief is based on.

Each stage of my own life was not created by hard work, but through new stories.

Yes, a lot of hard work went into my businesses, creative endeavors in Hollywood and authoring three books and three online courses. At times, too much work and not enough fun.

What made the difference during each stage were the stories I was telling myself. These stories were told to others, who in turn, became inspired to support my efforts. That is why I have come to be known as a Storytelling Magician.

It’s never too late to start telling a new story. If not you, who? If not now, when?

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Were you raised to believe money and happiness are connected? How has this limiting belief affected your life? Have you tried to create a new story about yourself? What does your new story say?

Kyle Richards’ White Leather Dress on Instagram

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2022 Instagram Fashion

Kyle Richards has been bringing the leather lewks lately! Which is great for us because we are smack dab in the middle of leather weather. This time she’s rocking a white leather mini dress on IG looking fab per usual. And sure you’re thinking (depending where you are anyway) well isn’t it a bit cold to wear a mini dress? The answer is no because you can just pair it with none other than a leather jacket, like Kyle so wonderfully did. Either way we can all agree this leather lewk would look great in our possession.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here to Shop Her LaMarque Dress

Click Here to Shop it in Black

Click Here to Shop Her LaMarque Leather Jacket

Photo + Info: @kylerichards18

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ White Leather Dress