Tracy Tutor’s Beige Crochet Cover Up Skirt and Raffia Bag on Instastories

Million Dollar Listing LA Instagram Fashion 2022

If you’re traveling to a warm-weather destination this holiday season you should definitely take inspiration from Tracy Tutor with her beige crochet cover up skirt and raffia bag. And then post a selfie to IG to let all of your coworkers, clients, whoever know vacay mode: ON. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Beach Riot Skirt in Beige or Black

Click Here to Shop Her Loewe Bag

Click Here For Info on Her Sunglasses

Photo: @TracyTutor

Originally posted at: Tracy Tutor’s Beige Crochet Cover Up Skirt and Raffia Bag

How would you feel if a relative or friend died, leaving a house full of clutter behind them, and it fell to you to sort it all out?

Unfortunately, this situation is very common. I often meet people who have toiled for months, or even years, disposing of someone else’s stuff.

Therefore, I was very cheered to hear recently that this is much less likely to happen in Sweden, where sorting out your stuff before you die is something that over 65s are expected to take responsibility for and do themselves.

They even have a name for it. It’s called dostadning, which literally means “death cleaning.” It’s about letting go of anything you no longer need and putting your affairs in order so you are ready to make a clean, guilt-free exit, without leaving a burden to anyone else.

When to Begin

Personally, I think leaving it until you’re 65 to take control of your home and your life is way too late. None of us know when we’re going to die, or how, and if you happen to become terminally ill, sorting through your possessions will probably be the last thing you feel like doing.

I believe it’s better to do it whatever age you are, and enjoy the benefits of living clutter-free for your entire life, not just the end stage.

It’s never too late to begin, and I’m happy to report that if you’ve reached the age where there is more of your life behind you than there is before you, the process can be easier. This is because you are clutter clearing with a definite purpose in mind.

Here are some ways that clutter clearing can impact your life in a positive way.

It Gives a Completely New Lease of Life

A woman I once worked with, who was in her 80s and in good health, had resolved to put her 3-storey house in order because she couldn’t bear the thought of her children walking into it after her death and seeing all her mess.

Every room was overflowing with clutter, and she had felt paralyzed for years to deal with any of it. However, she was determined to do it for them, and that kept her going, week after week, until the job was done.

The lovely thing was that she lived another 10 years, and regaining control of her home gave her a completely new lease of life. After clearing all her clutter, she felt free to do many things she’d always wanted to do.

Far from being over, she told me that she felt her life had just begun. She painted and travelled, and best of all, she often had her adult children come to stay because now she had guest rooms that were clear of clutter and available for them to use.

The Natural Thing to Do as You Get Older

We come into this world with nothing, and we can’t take anything with us when we die. At the beginning of life, there is no attachment to physical items at all. Psychologists have discovered this doesn’t start until a baby is 8-12 months old, and it gradually gathers momentum from then on.

The reverse process is supposed to happen in the decades before death, as our engagement with the physical world recedes. Putting our affairs in order brings peace of mind and goes hand in hand with disposing of things we no longer need.

Throughout life, everything works better if you only keep around you the things you love and use. This is because the stagnant energies that accumulate around clutter always cause a jam of some kind. When you clear out the old, it makes room for the new.

Living clutter-free is especially important in our senior years. It’s a complete myth that people feel comforted by having all their things around them. A few treasured items are good, but most people feel stifled by having so many things they no longer use.

There’s also the frustration that comes because of their reduced ability to clear the clutter since they are no longer as fit as they once were. It is much, much easier to sort through your things and let them go while you’re still fit and well.

Don’t Delay – Start Today

Here are four ways you can begin…

Give away, donate or sell anything you haven’t used in ages and are pretty sure you will never use again. Surround yourself with the things that represent who you are and what you want to do at this time of your life.

Make a will. Or if you already have one, make sure it’s up-to-date.

If you have any special items you wish to give to others, list them in your will or, if you no longer use them yourself, gift them to the person right now.

State clearly in your will what you want to have happen with all your digital assets. Appoint a digital executor and set up access to your online accounts and passwords through a secure route such as LastPass Emergency Access.

Lighten your load. Death is as natural as birth, and the more prepared for it you are, the more you can enjoy life to the full now.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How much clutter do you have in your home? Could it become a burden to someone else when you die? What steps do you want to take now to begin to lighten your load? Please join the conversation and share your thoughts below.

Have you ever thought about the tiny number of things over which we have actual control?

There are so many things in life that go on regardless of us actually ‘doing’ anything to make them happen. Trees get leaves and plants grow. It rains. The earth turns on its axis.

Our bodies alone do amazing things every minute of every day without us having to direct any of it. Our hearts beat. We breathe. We don’t have to think, “Time to release some gastrin so I have enough acid in my stomach to digest my lunch!”

Yet we waste a lot of energy trying to control things that we can’t. We allow our inability to control these things make us miserable. And we don’t control some of the things in our lives that are within our control.

As a weight loss coach, I see how these factors seriously interfere with a person’s ability to lose weight and keep it off.

Here’s an example of what I mean. Karen’s 22-year-old daughter Lily (who has her own apartment) gets a job as a server at Hooters.

Karen is very alarmed by this and doesn’t want her daughter to work there. Karen tries to convince Lily to get a different job, but Lily refuses. She’s making a good wage there, and the customers do not touch her, as that is not allowed.

The more Karen tries to convince Lily to switch jobs, the worse her relationship with Lily becomes. Lily starts avoiding Karen because she’s sick of her mom bugging her about this job, which Lily actually enjoys.

So, Karen eats as a way to distract herself from her feelings about the situation. Karen had been trying to lose weight, but because of her emotional eating, she’s gained weight.

Looking at the Problem

What is the problem here? It isn’t that Lily got a job at Hooters. The problem is how Karen is thinking about it.

Because Lily is an adult, Karen can’t control where Lily works. Karen’s efforts at trying to control the situation are alienating her daughter from her. And by allowing her thoughts to make her miserable about the situation, Karen has lost control of one thing she can control: what she puts in her own body.

So what should Karen do? The only thing she realistically can do under the circumstances. Manage her thinking.

One of the few things in life over which we do have control is how we think and what we think about. Knowing how to manage our thinking is not only the key to a happy life but is also the key to losing weight and keeping it off.

Because our thoughts create our feelings, we can actually change our feelings by changing our thoughts.

I’m not saying it is always easy to do this, but as humans, the most evolved part of our brain, the prefrontal cortex, actually allows us to control our own thinking. With practice, we get better at it.

So back to our friend Karen. Not only is she upset about her daughter’s job, but now she’s also upset about the weight she’s gaining because of dealing with the situation by eating when she isn’t hungry.

What can she do to change her thinking and get back on track with weight loss? She can ask herself these six questions:

What Am I Feeling that I’m Trying to Avoid by Wanting to Eat?

I’m feeling disgusted, scared and angry because my daughter is working at Hooters.

What Is the Painful Story or Thought I’m Telling Myself That Is Causing That Feeling?

Working at Hooters is not only offensive to my feminist values, but it is dangerous. Creepy men will be staring at my daughter’s body and trying to grope her boobs and butt! What if she gets raped by some perverted patron?

Is That Thought or Story True? I Mean, Really True?

Could you prove this story factually, with evidence to a jury? Values are a judgment, which means they are a thought, not a fact. Although Karen is entitled to have her feminist values, she cannot expect other people to have the same values as she does, even her own daughter.

What about the groping and rape part? Lily has told Karen that the customers are not allowed to touch her and that they are normal people.

Karen doesn’t have any evidence that the customers Lily is serving are dangerous or threatening to her. She’s never read about anything bad happening to Hooters servers. Karen can’t prove that this story is true.

When I Think This Thought, What Do I Do?

Karen eats when she isn’t hungry. Then her body stores that energy as fat. The result is that she gains weight when she wanted to lose weight.

How Do I Want to Feel?

Karen just wants to feel at peace about Lily’s choice, have a good relationship with her daughter and not let it upset her every time she thinks about it.

What Can I Think Instead to Feel the Way I Want to Feel?

Karen can think that she can be less judgmental about Lily’s choices and more accepting, even if she doesn’t understand Lily’s choice.

She can think that Lily may be going through a phase and that she will not make this her life career. Lily has made a choice for now for financial reasons, and her job is not dangerous.

By using her prefrontal cortex to reason about the situation and to purposely choose how to think about it, Karen can be at peace with the situation. She feels better. She stops her emotional eating, and she starts losing weight again.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you an emotional eater? What do you do to avoid indulging and instead stick with a healthy eating regime? Let’s discuss the issue in the comments below.

Most
women our age can readily tell you which part of their body they are most
self-conscious about or feel is their least attractive. For years we were deluged
with stories, articles, and advice about how to fix whatever was wrong.

For
me, it was my belly. I would read headlines like: “Flatten your belly in 10
days!” “Lose the belly weight,” “How to have a flat stomach,” and “How to dress
to hide your belly!” And how many of us read the advice to always “hold-in your
stomach”?

Body Positivity

But
things are changing. As part of being an entrepreneur in my 60s, I have contact
with numerous millennials. Many of them are advocates of something they call
Body Positivity. It has been a revelation to talk with them about this, so I
thought I’d share what I learned with the Sixty and Me community.

Here
are a few tenants of body positivity:

• Accept and appreciate the body you have.
• Help others feel comfortable with their
  bodies.
• Know that beauty comes in all sizes.
• Know that our bodies do change in relation to
  age and circumstance (pregnancy, illness, exercise, dietary changes, menopause,
  etc.).
• Believe all bodies are miraculous.
• Accept responsibility for your body; treat it
  with love and care. (This does not mean conforming to a certain size culturally
  deemed appropriate.)
• Love yourself and your body.
• Care for your body via appropriate rest, good
  nutrition, exercise, appreciation.
• Know you can be fit and healthy without being
  an exact size.

I
thought about this for a long time and wondered how it would manifest for me, a
woman in my 60s, having had a partial mastectomy, and still struggling with
feeling good in my own skin. So, I created a list of my top 10 body positivity
tips.

Five Things to Stop Doing

Many
of us have gone down the negative thought spiral for way too long. Here are
five things I suggest you stop doing:

#1: Stop Thinking Media Images Are Accurate

In
the past, we heard about photos of models being “air brushed” by the magazine.
Today, images are changed in a myriad of ways.

We
can no longer assume the images are an accurate portrayal of the person behind
the camera. In fact, I think it is better to err on the side of assuming they
have been enhanced in some way.

#2: Stop Accepting Anyone Else’s Opinion or Judgment About Your Body

People
seem to feel free to make comments and suggestions without being asked. Maybe
they think it’s for “your own good.” I have decided I will no longer accept any
unwanted advice or criticism. I don’t feel a need to push back. I simply ignore
them.

#3: Stop Being So Self-Critical

We
are often harder on ourselves than anyone else ever might be. I have recently adopted
a self-listening practice. When I hear myself say, or even think, a harsh
thought, I stop and remind myself to be affirming not harsh.

#4: Stop Waiting for Your Body to Change in Some Way to Be Acceptable

I
buy clothes that fit and complement my body as it is. Do not wait until those
extra 10 pounds are off before buying a new dress. Buy the dress now. If it is
one size up, so what? Love that dress and rock wearing it.

Do
not think you have to tone your arms before you can even think about wearing
something sleeveless. Keep working on toning your arms to increase strength and
enjoy the accompanying muscle definition, but go sleeveless now.

#5: Stop Being Critical or Judgmental of Other Women’s Bodies

Again,
do some self-monitoring. You might be surprised by how often you are criticizing
other women. As you strive to be less self-critical, also strive to be less
others-critical. If you are with a group that engages in this kind of critical
talk, disengage.

Just
don’t participate or change the subject to something more uplifting. If that
doesn’t work, either leave the situation or speak up, saying something like, “I
try not judge other women’s bodies.”

Five Things to Start Doing

Eliminating the negative is best done by engaging the positive. Try reframing your mind around these five positive actions:

#1: Start Looking for Media Images and Articles That Support Women’s Natural
Beauty

We
are seeing more models in a broader range of sizes. We are also seeing
commercials using real women as opposed to professional models.

Women
of all sizes have started posting their photos on Instagram, and though
sometimes there may be critical or cruel comments, there’s always pushback in
support of the brave woman. Patronize companies that have a wide range of sizes
available and promote body positivity. Let your dollars reflect your beliefs.

#2: Start Accepting and Loving Your Body as It Is

I
will never be a size 10 or even 12 again. So what? I can still choose clothing
that reflects and celebrates who I am as a woman right now. I no longer avoid
colors or prints that might make me look “too big.” I love color and I love
prints and have found beautiful pieces in each.

#3: Start Monitoring Your Thoughts and Words and Turn the Negatives into
Positives

I
practice turning statements around. For example, I take, “My belly is too big,
nothing looks right on me. No one makes clothes that fit and flatter me.”

Then
I turn it around to, “I am curvy in lots of places that can enhance my clothing
style and so are many other women. There are plenty of options out there now. I
am going to choose outfits that make me look and FEEL good.”

#4: Start Noticing What Is Right About Your Body as Opposed to What “Needs Improvement”

Instead
of obsessing about my belly, I am going to celebrate my slim ankles and toned calves
and buy some amazing shoes.

I
have strong shoulders and a nice neck. I am going to show them off by wearing
fitted sleeves and open necklines. I have gorgeous green eyes and will choose
outfits that bring out that color.

#5: Start Noticing What Is Lovely About Other Women’s Bodies and Appearance,
and When Appropriate, TELL Them!

I
have adopted a new practice of speaking up when I see something lovely about
another woman. It can be as simple as, “That scarf really complements your
outfit.” Or, “I love your dress, you look beautiful.” Or “I love seeing a woman
wear a hat with such style.” Or, “That necklace is so unique, how lovely!”

Or,
if it is someone I know has been working out, I’d say, “Wow I can really see
definition in your arms.” It is interesting to note the woman’s response. Some
struggle with accepting the complement and want to brush it off. Some are
surprised and pleased. So many return a big smile and just say, “Thank you!”

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How
do you view your body? Are you critical of your curves and try to mask them? What
steps can you take toward being body positive after 60? After all, this is the
time to be authentic! Let’s have a conversation!

Madison LeCroy’s White Floral Collar Dress on Her Instastories

Southern Charm 2022 Instagram Fashion

Madison LeCroy, or shall I say Madison LeCroy-Randle, certainly knows how to “Bride”. I mean look how adorable this white floral collar dress is that she wore to one of the wedding festivities. So cute, but also cute for any event not wedding related. Either way we’re totally saying I do to the question of if we need it.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here to Shop Her The Bar Dress

Click Here to Shop Her Jimmy Choo Sandals

Photo Credit: @madison.lecroy

Originally posted at: Madison LeCroy’s White Floral Collar Dress