Statistically speaking, we know women expect to outlive their husbands.

Harvard Health reported in 2016 that 57% of those aged 65 and up are female, while 67% of those who reach age 85 are women. The average woman lives five years longer than the average man in the U.S.

None of these figures is a surprise to us, and when you throw in the rising divorce rate in the U.S., you have an even greater chance that you’ll be managing and investing your own money at some point.

Back in the “old days,” women tended to be financially dependent on their husbands and thus were often paralyzed when they were left managing their own finances upon his passing. Thankfully, women these days are much savvier and proactive, so they’re taking the reins of their financial futures before something serious happens.

In the case of a divorce, it may seem obvious why you don’t want the same financial advisor as your husband, but things get murkier when you’re talking about the assets you and your husband own together as you both age. Here are some reasons why you may not want the same financial advisor as your husband.

Should You Share a Financial Advisor? Why Continuity Might Not Be Best

Knowing that you’re probably going to be in charge of investing your family’s life savings one day, you might think your husband’s financial advisor is a perfectly good fit for you. After all, he already knows your finances, so for continuity’s sake, why rock the boat? But this may not be your best option.

It’s no secret that men and women are inherently different. Women tend to worry more, especially when it comes to figuring out how their money is going to last them the rest of their lives, while men want to brag and prove how much they know about investing.

Consequently, the relationship and the discussions about money that your husband’s been having with his/your advisor are not necessarily going to align with your personal priorities. In fact, the odds that you’ll be able to work well with the financial advisor your husband worked with are low.

Three Questions to Ask

#1: Does He Relate to You as Yourself, or as the Wife of His Friend/Client?

It’s important to realize that this financial advisor won’t relate to you the same way he related to your husband. They may have been golf buddies for years, and he may look down on you as the wife who doesn’t know anything about investing.

If he’s been a friend of both of yours for a long time, then there’s a chance he might relate to you differently, but odds are that he won’t. Remember: You’re not a second-class citizen in this business relationship. You’re the boss.

#2: Are You Focused Only on Investments, or Do You Need a Holistic Financial Planner?

If you don’t know as much about investing as your husband, you might need more of an estate planner than someone purely focused on investments. A planning advisor puts the spotlight on helping you work through what-if scenarios to help you see clearly the best and worst cases financially.

The answer to this question all depends on what type of advisor your husband was working with. Some advisors are holistic planners, while most are salespeople who advise on which investments to buy without discussing your overall circumstances. A really good financial advisor works through your concerns, including taking into consideration any real estate or tax issues and desires you may have to help your kids or grandkids pay for college.

#3: Is the Advisor a Fee-Based Fiduciary, or Is He Just a Salesperson?

You want to own the relationship and be fully in control of it. The only way to do this is to get someone who doesn’t just sell investments. You want someone who is a true fiduciary and doesn’t work for a big-name investment bank.

The advisor should also be fee-only or fee-based, with at least 90% of their income from fees. This way you know that he’s truly looking out for you and not just pushing an investment because he will earn commission from it.

Some Final Considerations

Whoever you end up hiring to be your advisor, get everything in writing, especially all the costs both for the advice and for the investments. Get a good feel for the advisor’s overall practices and approach to the financial planning process. The fact is, a true fiduciary financial advisor will put in writing that he’s going to put your financial interests first. This is essential, and as part of your request, ask for a simple outline of where he gets his compensation. A good advisor knows you will want this.

So, when do you start looking for your own advisor? In the case of a divorce, the time to start searching is the moment you start to feel your marriage is on the rocks.

For example, I recently connected with a woman in her late 50s who had funded her husband’s struggling business with her own stock options and the wealth she earned as a successful executive. She had depleted her own wealth to make him into the success he became, but she didn’t wait around until something happened. She avoided becoming a victim and instead found a financial advisor who specializes in divorce cases to quietly start looking into her options.

Also, don’t wait until something traumatic happens. If you see your husband’s cognitive faculties starting to fade, or you know your husband has a history of heart attacks or strokes, it’s an excellent time to start. Sit down with him and talk about why you don’t think it would be a good idea to keep working with his advisor and set forth an action plan to hand over the reins to your advisor when it’s time.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How involved are you in managing your family’s finances? Do you already work with a financial advisor? What advice would you share from your own experience? Please join the conversation.

Various polls of seniors rank the fear of receiving an Alzheimer’s diagnosis right under the fear of being diagnosed with cancer. For some, the fear of Alzheimer’s is equal to or greater than that of a cancer diagnosis. Understandable, since to date there is no cure for the disease.

November is Alzheimer’s Awareness Month in the US. That makes it the perfect time to review the latest information on what we can do to love our brains. Women especially, since the World Health Organization reports globally that dementia has a disproportionate impact on women, accounting for 65% of total deaths.

Maria Shriver lost her father, Robert “Sargent” Shriver to Alzheimer’s disease in 2011. She is instrumental in the fight against Alzheimer’s. Maria founded the Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement (WAM), whose mission includes discovering why Alzheimer’s seems to discriminate against women.

Does Dementia Hit Close to Home?

To have or have lost a loved one to Alzheimer’s disease or another disease under the dementia umbrella is heart breaking. Many of you can relate, as can I, since my mom suffered with Early-Onset Alzheimer’s disease. They diagnosed Mom around age 60, although she lived to age 73.

I have such a vivid recollection of my mother’s state of memory loss when my father unexpectedly died the day before her 64^th birthday. The effects of the disease were significant by that time. The event created a benchmark or point of reference from which I judge my memory status as I age.

At age 61, my brain function is within a normal range, at least most days! I admit I may forget or misplace something, or be unable to find the word I’m searching for, both of which create instant anxiety! Of course, the anxiety compounds the problem, but it also motivates me to do whatever I can to protect my cognitive status.  

What Can We Do to Help Protect Our Brain Health?

Scientific data suggest dementia develops many years before symptoms appear. So, it is an advantage to adopt a brain-healthy lifestyle sooner rather than later. To take care of our brain in our 60s and beyond may also be impactful. At a minimum, it can improve our quality of life and general health.

Based on the latest research, it turns out heart-healthy is equivalent to brain-healthy. No big surprise, since what’s good for the heart is good for the rest of the body. What can we do to help create a buffer between us and dementia?

6 Reported Pillars of Brain Health

Content provided at AARP’s Staying Sharp (through guidance from the Global Council on Brain Health) and other sources suggests that incorporating the following lifestyle elements may promote and protect brain health.

Be Social

Connect with friends, volunteer, and maintain family ties.

Engage Your Brain

Feed your curiosity, learn new things, and expose yourself to new situations.

Manage Stress

Learn to decompress, meditate, and move.

Ongoing Exercise

150 minutes of weekly, moderate-intensity aerobic activity is the recommendation with two or more days a week of moderate-intensity strength (resistance) training; incorporate a physical lifestyle into your daily routine (park further from the door and walk, take the stairs); exercise in ways you enjoy, such as tennis or golf.

Restorative Sleep

Try to get between 7 and 8 hours of total sleep each night, with an emphasis on restorative sleep. Improve sleep hygiene by keeping a consistent sleep schedule and a dark, quiet bedroom at a cooler temperature.

Put away phones and turn off screens an hour or more before bedtime and adopt a quiet activity like reading. Eat only small meals or snacks in the evening, and avoid caffeine, alcohol, or nicotine several hours before bedtime.

Eat Right

Eat healthy foods that include whole grains, fresh fruit, vegetables, fish, beans, nuts, and olive oil. Avoid foods (or consume in moderation) such as red meats, butter, margarine, cheese, fast/high processed foods, sweets, and high-sodium foods. Consider following a Mediterranean or the MIND diet.

Also, I’m a fan of Andrew Huberman, PhD, an associate professor of neurobiology at Stanford University. In the video below, Dr. Huberman discusses science-based behavior tools that may help improve your brain and nervous system function. Warning: He uses lots of technical terms, but this is good information and worth the view. As a bonus, he’s easy on the eyes!

To change your lifestyle at any age can be difficult. If you feel a bit overwhelmed, you might start by incorporating one or two new brain-healthy habits at a time. Once mastered, pick up one or a few more and repeat. After all, learning new things is good for your brain!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you worry about getting dementia? How likely are you to change your lifestyle to help improve your brain health?

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

Hailey Bieber has become the face of glazed donut skin because she always has the dewiest complexion. It’s often left us wondering how she gets her skin so glowy without looking super oily. And now, thanks to one of the model’s GRWM TikToks, we have the answer: Kosas’ Cloud Set Setting Powder.

The supermodel-approved formula minimizes the appearance of pores, fine lines and uneven texture. It provides “shine control, not glow control,” according to the brand, which is how you know it’s the perfect powder to use for glazed donut skin.

“This is just really for any of the areas I feel like I get a little oily, which is mostly the T-zone area,” Hailey explains in the TikTok.

The setting powder is up to 25 percent off during Kosas’ early Black Friday sale, which gives you 25 percent off of your order of $100 or more, 20 percent off of your order of $50 or more and 15 percent off of your under-$50 order. Basically, the more you shop, the more you save, so start by adding this powder that’s as low as $26 to your cart.

@haileybieber

ok and here’s pt. 2

♬ Say So (Instrumental Version) [Originally Performed by Doja Cat] – Elliot Van Coup

Plenty of shoppers agree with Hailey. “Takes out shine and minimizes pores instantly. Makes skin look airbrushed!” raved one five-star reviewer.

Not only does the sheer setting and smoothing powder help manage oil production and smooth over texture, it’s packed with nourishing ingredients that hydrate the skin and clear out congestion—sans caking and creasing. 

After application, you’ll notice your skin doesn’t feel chalky or dry. That’s because passion fruit extract hydrates and minimizes the appearance of fine lines. Meanwhile, bamboo stem extract controls oil production and Chinese peony diminishes large pores.

RELATED: Hailey Bieber Swears By an Under-$30 Concealer That’s Like a ‘Lightbulb For Your Skin’—& It’s Already on Sale For Black Friday

Photo: Kosas.

For a filter-like complexion, you’re going to want to sweep on the Cloud Set Setting Powder. Smooth, blurred skin is headed your way once you start. Plus, for those who can’t stand the mess that loose powder leaves behind, this formula has the natural finish of a loose powder, except in a pressed powder form that won’t wreak havoc on your vanity or sink. 

“I love this powder! It is lightweight, blurring, and sits so nicely on the skin. It does a great job of setting makeup and leaving your skin looking radiant,” wrote one shopper who calls it their “holy grail powder.”

The texture is airy and buttery, while the finish is natural without being completely matte. This powder sounds like a dream and works like one, too.

“Happy to say I have finally found the right powder! I have combination skin and tend to get pretty oily at the end of the day even with powder foundation. I also have sensitive skin and this has been wonderful on my face,” wrote another five-star reviewer. “I now only use a bit of concealer with this formula and it goes a long way. Super lightweight with great coverage and minimize pores. I’m all for it!”

Well, what are you waiting for? Get your glazed donut skin on with the help of the Kosas’ Cloud Set Setting Powder.

More Early Black Friday Deals to Shop:

• Shoppers Say This TikTok-Viral Mascara Makes Their Natural Lashes ‘Look Like Falsies’—& It’s Down to $5
• This ‘Unbelievable’ Biotin Serum Stops Hair Shedding After 1 Week—& It’s Down to $20 Ahead of Black Friday
• Shoppers Are Calling This Retinol Stick a ‘Magic Wrinkle Eraser’ & Black Friday Is The Perfect Time to Snag It
• Nordstrom’s Early Black Friday Deals Include Up to 50% Off Kiehl’s, ABH & Nest Candles

One day I walked into the living room and said to my husband, “I have this idea that won’t leave me alone. I know it is probably a really dumb idea but, I just can’t seem to let it go.”

“What idea is that?” My husband asked as he peeked around his morning newspaper.

“Well,” I said… tiptoeing my way into the conversation. “I have been thinking that maybe I might like to sign up for a health coaching certification program.”

“So, you ‘maybe’ ‘might’ want to be a health coach?” My husband asked.

“Yeah maybe,” I said, “It’s just an idea.”

“Well then,” my husband said, patiently, “why don’t you sign up for the program?”

“Because the program it is not cheap, and I am not even sure I really want to be a health coach.”

“Ok,” he said, “then don’t sign up.”

“But it just feels like a good idea that I don’t want to pass up on.”

My husband stuck his nose back in his newspaper and was silent.

After a few minutes he spoke, “Karen, I think that if you want to do it, you should do it.”

“But here is another problem,” I responded. “I am 68 years old now. And the certification program takes a year to complete.”

“So?”

“So that means I will be 69 years old when I get my coaching certification! 69 years old!”

“And so, Karen,” he said, “how old will you be in a year if you don’t sign up for the program?”

I whispered, “I will be 69.”

 “Yep,” he retorted matter-of-factly, “and without that health coaching certification.”

Can you relate to my story? Do you have an idea or a dream? And do you think about taking action on it… someday… maybe?

Good Ideas and Doubts

Have you considered that your good idea may not keep? What if you were given the good idea, as a gift on loan. And that the good idea actually has an expiration date on it? After which time, if you don’t begin to act on it… then poof… it floats on to a more deserving soul; someone who will actually do something with it.

I can hear you saying it now, “I want to be the deserving soul, but I still feel stuck. I just can’t seem to make up my mind to get started.”

Would it make you feel better knowing that you are not alone?

Lately, I have been particularly conscious of hearing others talking about their dreams and ideas. Ideas that get them motivated, excited and full of anticipation. Ideas like going back to school, beginning a new project, starting a volunteer group, committing to a new health plan, a new invention, creating a website, building a product, taking on a new challenge.

I’m reminded that there are really a ton of great ideas and unfulfilled dreams out there. A ton of ideas that no one is taking action on.

I wonder what kind of tsunami we could create if all of us over the age of 55 banned together and actually did something with our ideas.

Can you even begin to imagine what that would look like?

I Say, Let’s Not Waste Any More Time. Let’s Do This Thing!

Using the acronym IDEAS; we can work through the following steps. First, Identify your idea, then Decide to do it, Engineer a plan, Act on it, and finally, Share it.

I = Identify Your Idea

A few of us are crystal clear on what it is we feel driven to do. But I would venture to say the rest of us are foggy, unsure, or all over the place. Which one are you?

Perhaps you experience a flickering insight or a hunch or just that whispering inner voice reminding you there is still work to be done.

Here’s an exercise to help shake out and clarify your ideas. Don’t think too much about it and don’t judge your list; just quickly write it down… no matter how small or impossible it may seem.

• What is something you often talk about doing one day?
• What is something you want to do, to create or to achieve before you die?
• What is it that lights you up when you dream about doing it?
• What is one thing you have recently been thinking about doing to serve others?
• What do you feel pulled/called to do in your life?
• What is an idea you have had for years?
• What is something that when you think back on it you wish you ‘would have, could have, should have” done?
• If you were creating a vision of what your utmost and best life could look like a year from now, what would you have accomplished?
• If you knew it wasn’t too late and you were guaranteed success; what idea would you take action on?

Once you have finished with your brainstorming, go back and circle the things that most resonate with you. Is there one idea that stands out and cries for your attention?

D = Decide to Do It!

Be honest now… this idea you identified has probably been with you for a while, and you haven’t done a darn thing with it, right?

Here is what Alfred North Whitehead, mathematician and philosopher, once said: “Ideas won’t keep. Something must be done about them.”

And so, my friends, let’s get on with it and take the next step. This is the part where we decide to do it; not just think about it, talk about it, or dream about it.

What is it that has been holding you back thus far? Do any of these lame excuses sound familiar to you?

• I’m too old.
• It’s too late.
• It will cost too much.
• I would do it if I were younger and had more energy.
• I don’t know if my idea will work.
• People might say I’m being ridiculous wanting to do this at my age.
• I’m not sure I have the resources to make it happen.
• I don’t have enough education.
• What if my idea is stupid?
• What if it takes too long?
• What if I fail?
• It’s too hard, and I prefer to take the path of least resistance.
• Someone has probably already done it before.
• Someone else would do it better than me.
• I don’t have enough skills or knowledge.
• I am too late for the train; I should have gotten on board years ago.
• I don’t know enough about the technology it would take to do it.
• Someday I’ll get to it; maybe next week, next month, next year….

I beg you, do not let another year go by with your dream still in your mind and on your heart. It is time for you to decide to do it.

And as soon as you decide to do it, then declare it! Whether it’s telling a trusted friend, posting it on Facebook or standing on the mountain top and shouting it out to the world. “I am going to turn my idea into a reality!”

E = Engineer a Plan

Once you identify your dream and decide to do it, then celebrate!

Set a date for your planning party and get your pens, pencils, rulers, colorful markers and large pieces of paper ready because, it is time to engineer your plan.

• Write out your goal.
• Break down the steps to accomplishing your goal.
• Draw out a timeline and identify milestones for celebration.
• Make a list of the resources you will need.
• Write down your perceived challenges and next to them, how to resolve them.
• Be sure to identify a list of people who can help you.

Caution: Like all plans, you can get too wrapped up in all the specifics… just get started!

A = Act on Your Plan

I wonder if we thought our time was limited with the chance to do something with our good idea, would we be more willing to begin the labor?

You have to admit, talking about your idea and dreaming about it are the easy parts. Even the engineering of a plan can seem like a fun playday activity. But the actual doing it part… now that takes work.

In his book, Love Does, Bob Goff writes these inspirational words:

“Let me tell you what I do when I don’t know what to do to move my dreams down the road. I usually just try to figure out what the next step is and then do that. I know it sounds too simple, too formulaic; it seems like there must be more to it. But there isn’t. For most of us, the next step is as easy as picking up the phone, sending an e-mail, writing a letter, buying a plane ticket, or just showing up. After that, things start happening; things that perhaps have God’s fingerprints on them. You’ll know which ones do and which ones don’t. Pick the ones that do.”

Did you get that? Figure out what the next step is and then do that!

When I first came across Goff’s words, I was suddenly struck by how profound they were. I began thinking about the people I know that have taken their dream and turned it into reality and sure enough, that’s what they did, isn’t it? They just took the next step.

S = Share It

One would think that this is a ‘no brainer’. But I fear that way too many of us have turned our good idea into reality and then went and stashed it in the closet or set it up on the shelf. Raise your hand if that is you!

“Starting isn’t enough,” writes Seth Godin in his booklet ShipIt. “It’s that follow through to the end that matters. Creating and doing the work is hard, yes, but nothing compares to the difficulty many people have actually shipping. Amazing ideas and incredible projects die at the hands of people who think just one more tweak, one more proofread, one more change is needed before putting that project out into the world.”

So now that you know the steps; it is time to begin: Identify the idea, Decide to do it, Engineer a plan, Act on the plan, and Share it.

And speaking of sharing, it would be such fun to read about your ideas and dreams.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have had an idea? What did you do with it? Did you stash it or did you decided to do it? What is your first action step? We would love to support you on your journey.

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

Hailey Bieber has become the face of glazed donut skin because she always has the dewiest complexion. It’s often left us wondering how she gets her skin so glowy without looking super oily. And now, thanks to one of the model’s GRWM TikToks, we have the answer: Kosas’ Cloud Set Setting Powder.

The supermodel-approved formula minimizes the appearance of pores, fine lines and uneven texture. It provides “shine control, not glow control,” according to the brand, which is how you know it’s the perfect powder to use for glazed donut skin.

“This is just really for any of the areas I feel like I get a little oily, which is mostly the T-zone area,” Hailey explains in the TikTok.

The setting powder is up to 25 percent off during Kosas’ early Black Friday sale, which gives you 25 percent off of your order of $100 or more, 20 percent off of your order of $50 or more and 15 percent off of your under-$50 order. Basically, the more you shop, the more you save, so start by adding this powder that’s as low as $26 to your cart.

@haileybieber

ok and here’s pt. 2

♬ Say So (Instrumental Version) [Originally Performed by Doja Cat] – Elliot Van Coup

Plenty of shoppers agree with Hailey. “Takes out shine and minimizes pores instantly. Makes skin look airbrushed!” raved one five-star reviewer.

Not only does the sheer setting and smoothing powder help manage oil production and smooth over texture, it’s packed with nourishing ingredients that hydrate the skin and clear out congestion—sans caking and creasing. 

After application, you’ll notice your skin doesn’t feel chalky or dry. That’s because passion fruit extract hydrates and minimizes the appearance of fine lines. Meanwhile, bamboo stem extract controls oil production and Chinese peony diminishes large pores.

RELATED: Hailey Bieber Swears By an Under-$30 Concealer That’s Like a ‘Lightbulb For Your Skin’—& It’s Already on Sale For Black Friday

Photo: Kosas.

For a filter-like complexion, you’re going to want to sweep on the Cloud Set Setting Powder. Smooth, blurred skin is headed your way once you start. Plus, for those who can’t stand the mess that loose powder leaves behind, this formula has the natural finish of a loose powder, except in a pressed powder form that won’t wreak havoc on your vanity or sink. 

“I love this powder! It is lightweight, blurring, and sits so nicely on the skin. It does a great job of setting makeup and leaving your skin looking radiant,” wrote one shopper who calls it their “holy grail powder.”

The texture is airy and buttery, while the finish is natural without being completely matte. This powder sounds like a dream and works like one, too.

“Happy to say I have finally found the right powder! I have combination skin and tend to get pretty oily at the end of the day even with powder foundation. I also have sensitive skin and this has been wonderful on my face,” wrote another five-star reviewer. “I now only use a bit of concealer with this formula and it goes a long way. Super lightweight with great coverage and minimize pores. I’m all for it!”

Well, what are you waiting for? Get your glazed donut skin on with the help of the Kosas’ Cloud Set Setting Powder.

More Early Black Friday Deals to Shop:

• Shoppers Say This TikTok-Viral Mascara Makes Their Natural Lashes ‘Look Like Falsies’—& It’s Down to $5
• This ‘Unbelievable’ Biotin Serum Stops Hair Shedding After 1 Week—& It’s Down to $20 Ahead of Black Friday
• Shoppers Are Calling This Retinol Stick a ‘Magic Wrinkle Eraser’ & Black Friday Is The Perfect Time to Snag It
• Nordstrom’s Early Black Friday Deals Include Up to 50% Off Kiehl’s, ABH & Nest Candles