Did you know that if you were married for at least 10 years, you may be able to claim Social Security benefits based on your ex-husband’s work record? This is particularly important for women who were stay-at-home moms who had a shorter work history and, unfortunately, lower incomes than their husband.

The Social Security benefit rules are complex and confusing, and even more so when you get a divorce.

Social Security Benefits on Your Ex-Spouse’s Work Record

If you are divorced, but your marriage lasted 10 years or longer, you can receive benefits on your ex-husband’s record (even if he remarried) if:

• You are unmarried and you are age 62 or older;
• Your ex-husband is entitled to Social Security retirement or disability benefits and;
• The benefit you are entitled to receive based on your own work is less than the benefit you would receive based on your ex-husband’s work.

Don’t worry, the Social Security benefits you receive based on your ex-husband’s work record has no effect on the amount of benefits your ex-husband or his current wife may receive. They won’t even know!

If your ex-husband can qualify for retirement benefits but has not yet applied for them, you can still receive benefits on his record if you have been divorced for at least 2 years. That makes sense since otherwise, he could purposely keep you from getting Social Security benefits.

If you are eligible for benefits on your own record and your ex-husband’s work record, the Social Security administration will pay your benefit first. If the benefit on your ex-husband’s work record is higher, you will get an additional amount (a bump up) based on your ex-husband’s work record so the combination of benefits equals the higher amount.

Keep in mind that any benefits taken before your Social Security Normal Retirement Age (which for most people is age 67) will be permanently reduced.

Social Security Benefits When Your Ex-Spouse Dies

If your ex-husband dies, you could get benefits just the same as a widow, provided your marriage lasted 10 years or more.

• Benefits paid to you as a surviving divorced spouse won’t affect the benefit rates of his current wife (or other wives) getting benefits on your ex’s work record.
• Unlike regular spousal Social Security benefits, survivor benefits can be received independent of individual benefits.
• Benefits can be taken as early as age 60.

Because survivor benefits can be received independent of individual benefits, you have an opportunity to maximize the benefits you can get. Did you know that for every year that you postpone taking your own Social Security benefit past age 67, your benefit will grow 8% per year? That’s a 24% increase if you postpone taking your benefit until age 70.

An option could be to take the survivor benefit until age 70, and then switch to your own benefit. (That’s what I plan to do!) Software is available online that can help you figure out how to best maximize your Social Security benefits.

Social Security if You Remarry After Divorce

If you divorce but then remarry, your ex-spousal benefits will stop. You generally cannot collect benefits on your ex-husband’s record unless your later marriage ends (whether by death, divorce or annulment). However, if both marriages lasted at least 10 years, you can pick the husband with the better work record.

If your ex-husband dies, if you wait to remarry until after you reach age 60 (age 50 if disabled), the remarriage will not affect your eligibility for survivor benefits. Many divorced women collect their own Social Security while the ex is alive, but can apply for higher divorced survivor’s rates when the ex dies.

What You Need to Apply for Spousal Social Security Benefits

To apply for spousal or survivor benefits, you will need to prove you were married for at least 10 years. The Social Security Administration will want to see your marriage certificate and your divorce decree. These documents may take time to get, so plan ahead!

Social Security is not marital property that is divisible upon divorce but if yours is a “grey divorce” (age 50+), it’s important for planning purposes that you know what your cash flow will be after divorce. When I work with my “grey divorce” clients, I include Social Security in the cash flow and net worth projections I prepare so my clients can see what their financial future looks like if they accept a proposed settlement.

Additional resources about Social Security Benefits if you are divorced: https://www.ssa.gov/sf/FactSheets/WomenandSSrev1.pdf

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Did you know a 10-year marriage can be really important when it comes to Social Security? Would you collect on your ex-husband’s Social Security if you could? Have you checked whether you are eligible?

Although the original thought is “Youth is wasted on the young,” in my case, this was certainly true for education.

I went to an all-girls private boarding school in rural Sussex in England, which even then – back in the late 50s/early 60s – was old-fashioned in its methods and outlook.

Everything Was Taught by Rote

Repetition, when it comes to times table, was and still is quite useful. For the rest of our studies, it was in one ear and out the other. The only subject I found remotely interesting was history, but I couldn’t remember dates, and so I flunked my exams.

Our Life Expectations Were Limited

At the most, we were expected after we left school to learn shorthand and typing so we could become secretaries, or go on to become physiotherapists before we married and settled down with children.

The word ‘university’ was not even mentioned, except to the rare blue stocking who made it to Oxford or Cambridge (no other university was worth considering). I always wanted to be an actress so that didn’t really bother me. What did bother me, in retrospect though not at the time, was the fact that I left school a stuck-up prig knowing absolutely nothing about the world.

It Wasn’t Until My Middle Years That I Realised the Extent of My Ignorance

At middle age was when I decided to do something about my lack of world knowledge. By then I’d given up acting and become a writer and, to my surprise, a part-time teacher. I was aware of going about things backwards – do the job first, learn how to do it second – and enrolled myself in an undergraduate course in Humanities at the Open University. (The Open University is a non-campus organisation based in different parts of the UK, available to anyone, aimed mostly at mature students.)

It was a six-year part-time course, and we were able to choose six different subjects to study from a range including history, philosophy, religion, music and literature and so on.

There Are Many Advantages to Studying in One’s Mature Years

Firstly, you know what you want to know. Unlike at school one’s curiosity is already aroused. Unlike at school, I was not afraid to speak up if I didn’t understand something or if I disagreed with the teacher. (Mature students can be quite argumentative.)

In addition, I learned as much from my fellow students – who were mostly of a similar age to me and, like me, had missed out on the opportunity to go to university when they were young – as I did from the teachers. There was a huge amount of variety of life experience among my fellow students.

In addition again, my studies gave me the wherewithal to know how to go about researching for my books, and more importantly to recognise which kind of sources could be relied on and which not. (Just because it’s in the newspaper doesn’t mean it is true…)

Then, an Unexpected Bonus

In my 60s, I decided to do a Master’s degree in theatre, a profession I’d worked in all my life. (Do it first, learn about it later…) It so happened that at the same time as I was studying theatre I was also teaching it.

This strange juxtaposition was surprisingly useful. As a teacher, I understood the pressures of having to write essays. As a student, I was able to learn from my tutors how – or how not – to teach. I learned the importance of not imposing my own views and allowing students the freedom to say what they liked in class, however weird or wonderful. I can honestly say I learned as much from them as they did from me.

Most Important of All, It Kept My Brain Alive and Up-To-Date

There’s nothing like being in the company of young people to keep you alert, and aware of how modern brains work; their views on the past, often quite at odds with our generation’s, and the struggles they face with cancel culture and issues such as racism and colonial guilt.

Not to mention modern technology. I came to the strong conclusion that the old and the young should mix more. We have a lot to learn from one another. After all,

The Learning Process Never Ends

And nor should it.

To quote Einstein: ‘The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.’

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What kind of education did you get as a girl/young woman? Did you go to a private or public school? What was your experience like? Did you get to go to university? Do you think you’d follow the same path if you were to go back?

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

Everyone’s talking about Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, but it’s about d*mn time we hand over the spotlight to Jennifer Garner. She’s everyone’s favorite actress, co-founder, mom, brand ambassador and Instagram chef—she’s a true Renaissance woman! Another thing we can’t forget to highlight is her makeup. How does she look so stunning and natural around the clock?

The correct answer: Stila’s Convertible Color Dual Lip and Cheek Cream. She previously told TODAY, “I’ve used the Stila cream blushes for about ever, especially in Peony,” which would explain how her cheeks always look gently flushed, giving her that bright, cheery look for which she’s known for.

This creamy formula is blush perfection because it’s not greasy, creates a sheer tint, blends easily and doubles as a lip color.

To apply, simply tap the product onto your cheeks or press it onto your lips. It requires minimal time and effort, so if you’re in a rush, opt for this super easy-to-use cream that blends out in seconds. You should keep this multitasking formula in your makeup cabinet and even your purse for on-the-go touch-ups.

Blush is the one beauty product that can really liven up your look and give your cheeks some dimension. It’s also super on-trend right now, with plenty of celebs, influencers and makeup gurus following the “faux sunburn” look, which can easily be achieved with the use of this versatile formula.

With a 4.6-star overall rating on Amazon, plenty of shoppers are backing Jen’s top blush pick. “Love this product because it leaves skin soft and dewy looking. Instead of the dry caked-on powder blush. Color is also spot on to the pictures online,” one wrote.

With reviews like that, it’s no wonder why the Convertible Color Dual Lip and Cheek Cream has become one of Stila’s cult classics. Shop it for $25 on Amazon and get tapping!

RELATED: This Hailey Bieber-Approved Blush Comes In 4 New Stunning Shades & We Need All of Them

Photo: Stila.

Many are turning to cream blushes over powder formulas because they give you a more natural-looking, sun-kissed glow. They’re also lightweight rather than cakey, and easy to control and build, especially if you’re after a more intense blush look. This Stila blush is made from a soothing and nourishing wax base that is great for applying before or after your base makeup. You’ll have dewy, rosy cheeks in a snap.

“I am over 70 with dry skin. This product is wonderful,” wrote one shopper. “It goes on like silk and is very natural looking. I wish I had found it years ago.”

Besides Jen’s fave shade, Peony, there are six other shades that are equally as pretty on the cheeks and lips. Shop Gerbera for a rosy peachy pink, Camellia for a peachy brown or Lillium for a nude pink. 

“Love the color, goes on smooth, looks great and natural. Will [definitely] buy again, my new favorite blush!” wrote another five-star reviewer.

This cream blush is about to give your current powder blush a run for its money. Since Jen seems to always know best, take it from her and get your Convertible Color Dual Lip and Cheek Cream on Amazon.

When I am on a diet, I live for my cheat days. I fantasize every day, all day long, about the food I am going to splurge on during my next cheat day. I know if I want to reach my goal weight, I’m in for a long period of time. My cheat day allows me to feel less deprived of the food I like, and to keep going longer. At least this is what I tell myself.

Cheat days are supposed to help us stick to our diet. But for us, emotional eaters, cheat days make it harder to stick to our diet. Why? And what to do instead?

Cheat Days Reactivate Our Emotional Eating

Every time we are exposed to the food we crave and have eaten for comfort for years, we dramatically increase our risk of relapse.

Would you advise a person with an alcohol problem to get a drink a month? Or a chain smoker to allow themselves one cigarette a week? Of course not. Why? Because you know this choice will almost certainly lead them to more drinks and more cigarettes.

The same goes for emotional eaters. Cheat days lead to more cheat days. Splurging on comfort food during cheat days make it especially challenging to confine these cravings and cheat-day foods into a certain day of the week or monthly routine.

When we indulge on comfort food during a cheat day, we are doing what our mind is telling us to do. Not what our body needs. As emotional eaters often confuse what our body wants with what our mind wants. We are used to eating for comfort, and cheat days takes us directly back to our old, unhealthy relationship with food.

A cheat day mindset consisting of “I’m only going to eat these snacks or comfort food on Sunday,” can easily turn into a more frequent behavior that leads to increased cheat days.

Cheat Days Maintain a Transactional Relationship with Food

Allowing ourselves a cheat day as an incentive for meeting diet or weight loss goals means rewarding ourselves with food. Which is a typical emotional eating answer. Eating not because we need a certain type of nutrients or number of calories, but because we’ve been “good.”

The flip side of the coin is when we don’t eat comfort food, it therefore subconsciously means that we’ve been “bad.” Healthy food is then assigned the function of a punishment. And you can be as strong-willed, motivated or dedicated as you want, nobody keeps on punishing themselves very long. When healthy food feels like a punishment, there is no way we can stick to it as our new lifestyle.

Using cheat days in our lifestyle is prescribing moral value to food. And this almost certainly reinforces an unhealthy relationship with food. There is no such thing as good food or bad food. Eating for health is not transactional. As soon as we find ourselves negotiating what we allow ourselves to eat or not, we are back into emotional eating behaviors. It’s only a matter of time before we get back to our old habits.

How to Avoid Cheat Days and Not End Up Bored or Frustrated

There are several efficient strategies you can use to stick to your diet without using cheat days.

Retrain Your Mind

Don’t think “I can’t eat cookies” but “I don’t eat cookies.” I can’t eat cookies” is a limitation to your freedom. “I don’t eat cookies” is a choice. Your way to exercise your freedom in your eating choices. After a while, “I don’t eat cookies” will become your new truth, and when presented with one, you will have no issue refusing it.

Plan Your Meals

Instead of incorporating cheat days to your routine, introduce new, fun, healthy food in your diet. Find a recipe you never tried before, using food you are not used to taste. This will keep your diet diverse and avoid boredom and fatigue.

Approach Food the Same Each Day

If you want to build a new lifestyle that you can stick with, it has to be pleasant and your healthy eating has to turn into a routine, not a punctual weight loss effort. Don’t wait a special day, occasion, or weekend to enjoy your favorite healthy food.

Instead, find a way to build them into your daily or weekly menu. When you are satisfied enough to not feel deprived, your cravings will not hit as bad, and you will be able to control your emotional eating better.

Find Support During Your Weight Loss Journey

Emotional eating is a coping mechanism that allows us to numb uncomfortable emotions we don’t wish to feel. Once we stop eating for comfort, all the emotions we have repressed come back. The longer you used food to deal with these emotions, the less equipped you are to embrace them today. Find a friend, support group or a professional that can help you navigate these uneasy feelings.

While cheat days can be an efficient strategy for some dieters, they are a form of emotional eating and reinforce an emotional attachment to certain types of food.

If you are not sure whether you are an emotional eater or not, you can take my quiz here.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you include cheat days in your diet? Are they beneficial or do they make it more difficult for you? Let us know in the comments.

2 Reasons Why “Cheat Days” Are Not a Weight Loss Winning Strategy for Emotional Eaters

When I am on a diet, I live for my cheat days. I fantasize every day, all day long, about the food I am going to splurge on during my next cheat day. I know if I want to reach my goal weight, I’m in for a long period of time. My cheat day allows me to feel less deprived of the food I like, and to keep going longer. At least this is what I tell myself.

Cheat days are supposed to help us stick to our diet. But for us, emotional eaters, cheat days make it harder to stick to our diet. Why? And what to do instead?

Cheat Days Reactivate Our Emotional Eating

Every time we are exposed to the food we crave and have eaten for comfort for years, we dramatically increase our risk of relapse.

Would you advise a person with an alcohol problem to get a drink a month? Or a chain smoker to allow themselves one cigarette a week? Of course not. Why? Because you know this choice will almost certainly lead them to more drinks and more cigarettes.

The same goes for emotional eaters. Cheat days lead to more cheat days. Splurging on comfort food during cheat days make it especially challenging to confine these cravings and cheat-day foods into a certain day of the week or monthly routine.

When we indulge on comfort food during a cheat day, we are doing what our mind is telling us to do. Not what our body needs. As emotional eaters often confuse what our body wants with what our mind wants. We are used to eating for comfort, and cheat days takes us directly back to our old, unhealthy relationship with food.

A cheat day mindset consisting of “I’m only going to eat these snacks or comfort food on Sunday,” can easily turn into a more frequent behavior that leads to increased cheat days.

Cheat Days Maintain a Transactional Relationship with Food

Allowing ourselves a cheat day as an incentive for meeting diet or weight loss goals means rewarding ourselves with food. Which is a typical emotional eating answer. Eating not because we need a certain type of nutrients or number of calories, but because we’ve been “good.”

The flip side of the coin is when we don’t eat comfort food, it therefore subconsciously means that we’ve been “bad.” Healthy food is then assigned the function of a punishment. And you can be as strong-willed, motivated or dedicated as you want, nobody keeps on punishing themselves very long. When healthy food feels like a punishment, there is no way we can stick to it as our new lifestyle.

Using cheat days in our lifestyle is prescribing moral value to food. And this almost certainly reinforces an unhealthy relationship with food. There is no such thing as good food or bad food. Eating for health is not transactional. As soon as we find ourselves negotiating what we allow ourselves to eat or not, we are back into emotional eating behaviors. It’s only a matter of time before we get back to our old habits.

How to Avoid Cheat Days and Not End Up Bored or Frustrated

There are several efficient strategies you can use to stick to your diet without using cheat days.

Retrain Your Mind

Don’t think “I can’t eat cookies” but “I don’t eat cookies.” I can’t eat cookies” is a limitation to your freedom. “I don’t eat cookies” is a choice. Your way to exercise your freedom in your eating choices. After a while, “I don’t eat cookies” will become your new truth, and when presented with one, you will have no issue refusing it.

Plan Your Meals

Instead of incorporating cheat days to your routine, introduce new, fun, healthy food in your diet. Find a recipe you never tried before, using food you are not used to taste. This will keep your diet diverse and avoid boredom and fatigue.

Approach Food the Same Each Day

If you want to build a new lifestyle that you can stick with, it has to be pleasant and your healthy eating has to turn into a routine, not a punctual weight loss effort. Don’t wait a special day, occasion, or weekend to enjoy your favorite healthy food.

Instead, find a way to build them into your daily or weekly menu. When you are satisfied enough to not feel deprived, your cravings will not hit as bad, and you will be able to control your emotional eating better.

Find Support During Your Weight Loss Journey

Emotional eating is a coping mechanism that allows us to numb uncomfortable emotions we don’t wish to feel. Once we stop eating for comfort, all the emotions we have repressed come back. The longer you used food to deal with these emotions, the less equipped you are to embrace them today. Find a friend, support group or a professional that can help you navigate these uneasy feelings.

While cheat days can be an efficient strategy for some dieters, they are a form of emotional eating and reinforce an emotional attachment to certain types of food.

If you are not sure whether you are an emotional eater or not, you can take my quiz here.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you include cheat days in your diet? Are they beneficial or do they make it more difficult for you? Let us know in the comments.

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

A lot of mascaras go viral on TikTok. Sometimes, they live up to the hype, and other times, they don’t. Not sure which tube to try out next? Take it from @katiehub.org. The creator reviewed L’Oréal Paris’ Lash Paradise Mascara, and had a lot of praise for it.

@katiehub.org

Replying to @notevamcconnell i kind of hate the better than S mascara…. oops #fyp #mascara #mid

♬ Elevator Music – Bohoman

For one, the TikToker calls it an alternative to Too Faced’s cult-favorite Better Than Sex Mascara. After she swipes on the L’Oréal formula, you can immediately see why. Her lashes look absolutely perfect in terms of length, volume and definition. She says in the video, “This is probably one of my top five volumizing mascaras now. Zero clumps, perfect volume, I love it.” She gives the light pink tube a 9 out of 10 overall rating, which is pretty on par with what Amazon shoppers think, too.

The volumizing mascara has 58,000 perfect five-star reviews, meaning it’s bound to be a favorite and sell out quickly. This is especially rings true while the product is on sale for under $8 at Amazon. It’s not every day that you stumble across a 42 percent discount like this one, so we suggest you add it to your cart, stat.

Courtesy of Adobe.

L’Oreal Paris Voluminous Lash Paradise Mascara

If you’re looking for voluptuous volume and super intense length, look no further than the L’Oreal Paris Voluminous Lash Paradise Mascara. You’ll achieve feathery and full lashes, minus any flaking, smudging or clumping. The color is so rich and stunning, the blackest black ever. 

One Amazon reviewer completely agrees and says, “25 years of wearing mascara and I finally found one that does not rub or flake under any circumstances.”

Another one wrote, “I wear this mascara every day I need to put makeup on, it just makes my eyelashes pop,” adding, “This mascara will literally last you all day. Once you curl your eyelashes and then put it on, they stay curled; it doesn’t flatten out like most mascaras.”

Shop the L’Oreal Paris Voluminous Lash Paradise Mascara while it’s on sale for 42 percent off at Amazon.