So you’ve decided you’re going to finally lose those post-menopausal pounds. Starting today, you’re going to eat better. You make a yummy salad and bring it to work for lunch. You vow to cut down on sweets and exercise for an hour three times a week.

Then you stop in the grocery store, and they are giving out free doughnuts to the customers. You had oatmeal for breakfast and aren’t hungry, but you grab a chocolate glazed one and wolf it down while walking to the cash register.

At lunch, your coworkers order some pizza, and you decide to join them. You put your salad in the fridge and think, “I’ll eat it tomorrow.” And you’re too tired to stop at the gym at the end of the day. So much for good intentions!

Probably everyone who has ever tried to lose weight has had an experience like the example above. Since the first humans evolved in Africa, people have acted against their better judgment.

The Greeks Called It Akrasia

We’ve been doing it for so long that the ancient Greeks coined a name for it: akrasia. It’s when you choose to do something you want even though you know you ‘should’ be doing something else.

Aristotle described two different kinds of akrasia. The first one is motivated by impetuosity or the passion of the moment. This can cause a lapse in reason that leads you to make a choice different from what you know is the better course. Like when you say something in anger that you immediately regret.

Aristotle described the second kind of akrasia as weakness of will. Many of my weight loss clients start out telling me they are weak-willed, but I discourage such thinking.

It is just an excuse, but when we actually believe it, we unknowingly look for ways to prove ourselves right. Plus, it isn’t true. We are all strong-willed when we put our minds to it.

The Marshmallow Test

Years ago, a psychologist conducted what was known as the Marshmallow Test. It demonstrated that a person’s ability to delay gratification correlated more to success and a higher quality of life than other factors like IQ or personality tests.

But, unfortunately for humans, that’s not how our brains prefer to work. Instead, we have a preference for immediate gratification over future benefit, especially when that future benefit takes a while to attain. Losing weight is a perfect example.

Even though you decided to eat less sugar, you still ate that doughnut. And it gave you an immediate taste of pleasure and a little sugar rush, both of which are very short-lived.

Choosing not to eat the doughnut, so we can be slimmer and healthier, requires us to put the best interests of our future self ahead of our current impulses.

But deep down, we really do care about making good choices. So how do we do it? How do we get our ‘should’ self to win out over our ‘want’ self?

Create an Immediate Reward for Making the Long-Term Choice

Emotions create habits, so whenever you make a choice for your future benefit over immediate gratification, create some good emotions around it. Celebrate it!

Say to yourself, “Hooray! I did it!” or something else that will congratulate your success. Really feel the accomplishment of making a good choice. Give yourself a pat on the back.

You can also give yourself small non-food rewards for consistently making the same good choice so that you form a new positive habit. For example, let’s say you commit to eat sitting down every time you eat for a week so that you can enjoy your food more and be aware of what you’re consuming.

Each time you sit down to eat, congratulate yourself. “Yay for me! Way to go!” Then after sticking with it for a week, buy yourself a little gift that you promised yourself ahead of time. By the end of that week, eating sitting down may become natural for you.

Create Accountability

There are several ways to create accountability. One is to proclaim publicly that you are going to do something.

Let’s say your goal is to go for a half-hour walk four times this week. Post it on Facebook or tell your spouse or friend that you are going to do that and ask them to check in with you about your progress. Or commit to paying them $10 for each time that you don’t take your walk.

Even better, have a walking buddy. Find a friend to take those walks with you. That way, if you feel the inclination not to go for a walk, your choice is affecting someone else.

Make It Easier to Make Good Choices

Want to get in the habit of eating more vegetables? Do some food preparation in advance. Make a couple of salads that you can grab from the fridge, or a pot of soup that you can eat for a few days.

Keep some hummus and sugar snap peas in the refrigerator for a quick snack or lunch. You are more likely to make a good choice when it’s easy to do so. Another strategy for making good choices is to have the choice be as painless as possible.

Want to start doing some yoga every morning? Roll out your mat the night before in a place where you can’t miss it. Then decide you’ll do five minutes of yoga right after your morning shower. Connecting the new yoga practice to something you already do every day will help you remember, too.

Visualize Yourself Making the Right Choice

Let’s say you’ve decided that you don’t want to overeat at the party you’re attending this weekend. Sit down in a quiet place, close your eyes, and picture yourself at the party enjoying talking with people and intentionally choosing what to eat instead of mindlessly overeating.

You can actually train your brain using visualization, just like if you have the actual experience. You can take this a step further by visualizing your slimmer self and thinking that you would rather forgo immediate and fleeting pleasure in exchange for the long-term joy of being in a healthier, leaner body.

Rather than using the excuse of being weak-willed, try some of these approaches so you can experience the true joy of achieving your health and weight loss goals.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What good choices are you making in your life to form positive aging habits? Are you having trouble making commitments to a healthy lifestyle? What changes do you plan to make to create a more positive aging philosophy? Please share your insights and tough choices, and let’s have a discussion.

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

My hair is always at its best right after I get it trimmed and blown out. It’s light, soft, smooth, shiny, smells good and has extra volume. I don’t think there’s anything I could possibly do on my own to get salon-level strands, but I recently tried a product that helped me inch closer and closer. Ouai is a brand I see literally everywhere and one I’ve been curious about for a while now. It wasn’t until I saw my sister spritz her locks with the Leave-In Conditioner that I cared enough to actually check out the brand’s offerings for myself. 

My sister couldn’t stop blabbering on about this spray, but I honestly was skeptical that it would live up to the hype. Fortunately, Ouai kindly sent me the Leave-In Conditioner and I’ve been misting it onto my hair ever since. After two weeks of use, my final verdict is that it does indeed meet my sister’s high expectations. I could tell straight away that I would be using it after every shower because my hair felt incredibly soft and my flyaways smoothed down. Although my hair doesn’t tangle a whole lot post-shower, I also noticed how effortlessly my Wet Brush glided through my strands.

Suitable for oily, dry and normal hair types, this hydrating mist has multiple uses. For one, it shields hair from heat (temperatures of up to 450°F) and ultraviolet damage. That’s definitely important if you’re blow-drying your hair after a couple of spritzes of this product. The Leave-In Conditioner also smooths split ends and frizz, detangles and conditions. 

Photo: Ouai.

I’m not the greatest at maintaining a haircare routine, so this easy-to-use spray is a godsend. And when I say it’s easy to use, I mean you only need a few spritzes to transform your damp hair into shiny, silky smooth strands.

Shop Ouai’s Leave-In Conditioner at Amazon, Sephora, Ulta, Target and Ouai.

RELATED: This Hair Growth Oil Works Just as Well as Rogaine & Olaplex—Snag It on Sale For $17 

But let’s get into what makes this leave-in conditioner so effective. An amino acid blend, tamarind seed extract, panthenol and vitamin E protect and smooth your strands like no other. No matter your hair type or thickness, this spray primes your locks for styling and smooths and conditions it to perfection. FYI: It’s cruelty-free, color-safe and paraben and sulfate-free. 

Here’s how to get the best results: On damp hair, spray six to eight inches away from your eye line. You want to spray the product from above your head, so downwards. Be sure to go in with a comb or brush afterward, to ensure the mist gets distributed to all of your strands—even your roots. 

And last but certainly not least: the scent. While I normally steer clear of fragrance in my beauty routine, the Leave-In Conditioner carries a light, clean, floral fragrance that I’m honestly not opposed to. It’s called North Bondi and has notes of bergamot, Italian lemon, rose de mai, violet and white musk.

But here’s the thing: It’s not just my sister and me who stan this product. Nearly 7,000 Amazon shoppers have given it a perfect five-star rating, and it has earned a very impressive 4.7-star overall rating. It’s not every day that you find a hair product with that high of an average rating. 

Aren’t fully on board yet? Let the reviews speak for themselves.

“This stuff takes my poor damaged hair and makes it super soft. I can actually get a brush through it when it’s wet,” raved one reviewer. “This is so much better than the stuff I was buying at the grocery store! It’s a little pricey but I think it’s worth it as it’s so effective. I love the smell too.”

“I have fine/wavy hair and this has worked wonders for controlling my frizz. I wish the smell lasted longer as it smells so freaking good. But I love this product,” wrote another shopper. 

See, it’s really not just me! I wouldn’t typically spend $30 on a hair product, but after using this one, I might just have to restock as soon as I run out (which probably won’t be for a while because a little goes a long way). Head on over to Amazon and try Ouai’s Leave-In Conditioner for yourself.

I have changed the way I entertain friends over the past several years. I rarely have dinner parties and large groups to my house.

Many of my friends are on special diets or have certain health concerns, so I choose to entertain with a variety of appetizers. I still ask people ahead of time if they have any issues with different foods.

Suggested pantry and fridge items to have on hand:

• several cans of garbanzo beans
• a carton of sour cream
• mayonnaise (made with olive oil)
• a block of cheddar or pepper jack cheese
• a small box of whole grain crackers
• a large bag of grated Parmesan/Romano cheese
• a small can of crab meat
• green and black olives
• red and white wine
• a few cans of beer
• flavored water (for non-drinking friends)

My Favorite Crunchy Baked Cheese

This recipe is delicious and loved by almost everyone.

Ingredients

• Grated Parmesan/Romano cheese
• Black pepper/lemon spice (optional)

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
2. Line a large cookie sheet with foil.
3. Pour the cheese over the foil making sure it is as flat as possible.
4. Bake in the oven until the top is totally brown and no longer bubbling.
5. Remove from the oven and allow to cool.
6. Break the cheese in small pieces.

Baked Almonds or Mixed Nuts

Ingredients

• Approximately 1/4 cup of olive oil, sesame seed oil or avocado oil.
• Seasonings: curry powder, turmeric powder, black pepper, garlic powder, parmesan cheese, lemon pepper spice, Himalayan salt.
• You can vary the amount of some or all of these spices to your particular taste.

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Pour the oil in a small bowl.
3. Add the seasonings of your choice to the oil and blend well.
4. Pour the nuts in a separate bowl and slowly trickle in the oil.
5. Stir the nut mixture until the nuts are fully covered.
6. Spread the nuts on a cookie sheet.
7. Bake the mixture for about 20 minutes.
8. Turn off the oven and leave the nuts in the oven for about 15 minutes.
9. Remove the nuts from the oven and allow to sit about 1 hour.
10. Store the nuts in a container with a lid.

My Favorite Hummus Dip

I often have a batch of this delicious Hummus in the fridge, as we love it. Occasionally, when I don’t feel like cooking dinner, this hummus – served with veggies and a glass of wine – does the trick for dinner. The dip keeps in the fridge for about 6 days.

Ingredients

• 1 medium can of garbanzo beans
• 1 tablespoon of olive oil
• 1 teaspoon of lemon juice
• 1/4 cup of sesame seeds
• 1/2 teaspoon of curry powder, oregano and garlic powder
• salt and pepper to your taste

Directions

1. Drain the beans and rinse.
2. Pour all ingredients in a blender and blend until very smooth.
3. Serve with cut up celery, peppers, carrots and small crackers.

My Favorite Easy Crab Dip

Ingredients

• 1 cup of sour cream
• 1/2 cup of mayonnaise
• 1/4 cup of chopped green onions
• 3 large green olives or 5 black olives, chopped
• juice of one lemon
• 1 small can of crab meat
• 1 teaspoon of garlic salt, oregano, marjoram, tarragon and cayenne pepper (optional)

Directions

1. Blend together the sour cream and mayonnaise.
2. Add the chopped green onions.
3. Add the seasonings.
4. Drain the crab meat and add to the blend.
5. Mix the dip thoroughly until everything is blended well.
6. Serve with celery and small crackers.

Serving appetizers and finger food is an easy way to entertain. People love to pick and choose without feeling obligated to eat everything.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you have some favorite appetizers to share? Do you think this could be a new way to have a dinner party? Please share your thoughts below.