The day when I retired and gave back my office keys, downloaded all my course documents, and met with Human Resources had me questioning my decision.

Was I Really Ready to Retire?

My last week of teaching in college was a roller coaster of emotions. It was filled with lots of well-wishers, lovely gifts, sweet cards, get-togethers, balloons and a few tears.

I clearly remember a young professor giving me a big hug. “Karen,” she smiled, “I’m so happy for you. You have done such great things for this college, and you worked so hard all these years. Now you deserve to just make time for yourself; take a break, rest, relax and enjoy.”

Did that young woman mean take a break, as in rest on the bench for a bit, or did she mean take a break, as in head to the locker room and turn in my uniform?

So… Was I done? Did my retirement signify I had reached my full potential and was now headed for the downhill slope? What a sobering thought, and quite frankly, a depressing one.

It seemed that with each conversation I had regarding my retirement I was asked the same question.

What Will You Do Now?

My response was pretty much the same. “My plan is to spend more time with my children and grand babies, write, take walks… and my husband thinks I need to raise chickens.”

I vividly remember setting in my hard metal folding chair out on the football field on my final attendance for graduation night. I thought about my students taking their next step toward an exciting career and gaining a new identity. Here I was retiring, and I felt like I was losing mine.

So, is this as good as it gets, I wondered. Is my life as fulfilling as it’s going to be? Should I just appreciate that it had been a good ride, and be grateful and satisfied for my experience in a career I loved? Why was I even thinking about this now? I had retired.

I Was Struggling with Being Branded with That Awful Word – Retired

I don’t know about you, but I hate the word ‘retired’. It sounds so old… and tired. Not only tired… but re-tired. And, depending on your accent, it can sound like you’re saying ‘retard’ or ‘retreat’.

Let me ask you: do these synonyms for the word ‘retirement’ sound like something that helps us embrace this transition? ‘Withdrawal, retreat, surrender, pullout, disengagement, recoil, shrinking, disentanglement…?’

Seriously, who wants that? It sounds like we are abandoning the ship!

I think my husband saw the signs of my tsunami coming, so he bought me a book to try and stem the tide, How to Retire Happy, Wild and Free by Ernie Zelenski. In the first chapter, there is a little cartoon character lounging in his rocking chair, reading a book about retirement, and the caption says, “The only major problem with retirement is that it gives you more time to read about the problem of retirement. If you can avoid this trap, you have it made.”

I did not feel I had it made! And I soon learned I was not alone. I found there were others experiencing some negativity with this ‘retirement’ business.

Ernest Hemingway Wrote, “Retirement Is the Ugliest Word in the Language”

And Rama. Sami Natarajan, an essayist, described the day he announced his retirement, “All my ‘strengths’ were stripped off me by some unknown force. I became a wimp in the eyes of the world.”

Spanish cellist Pablo Casals was quite clear on his disdain for the term as well, “To retire is the beginning of death.”

And although I admit Casals sounds a bit overly dramatic, there is actually some research that backs up his statement. Yep… you are more likely to die when you retire. I know… that’s scary!

I began searching for someone who might offer some sage advice on this new seismic shift in my life. I asked my newly retired cousin about his thoughts on retirement. He said, “I don’t tell anyone I am retired.”

“Really,” I responded. “Why don’t you tell people?”

“Because,” he said, “I found out pretty quickly that when I mention I am retired, it is like I become invisible… I just don’t get the same respect I once did.”

Holy cow! Is that true?

A good friend of mine suggested I read a book by Jane Pauley, Your Life Calling; Reimagining the Rest of Your Life. Pauley shares how she spent the first year of retirement lying on her couch. She filled her days by making up a list of all the things she could do now that she was retired. As the lonely days slowly and painfully passed, she recalled, her list of possibilities grew.

Then one day her son called her up and told her, “Mom, you know that list of ideas you keep working on? Well, I think you have collected enough good ideas. Now it’s time for you to pick one and do something with it!”

I could so relate to Pauley’s experience. I too was spending way too much time lying on the couch, reading about retirement and jotting down ideas. I recalled the professor’s encouragement for me to just rest.

Then one day, while mindlessly perusing the internet, this headline piqued my interest:

“Want a Happier, More Fulfilling Retirement? Try This Japanese Concept”

Did you know the Japanese culture doesn’t even have a word for retirement? I loved hearing about that. Instead, they have a term called ikigai. Ikigai (ee-key-guy): iki, means “alive” or “life,” and gai, means “benefit” or “worth.”

When combined, it means “that which gives your life worth, meaning, or purpose…. why you get up in the morning.”

Other synonyms for this Japanese term are worthiness, fruitfulness, effectiveness. Now, that is quite a big difference from the West’s retirement synonym words: withdrawal, retreat, pull out, surrender.

I learned that, in regards to the kai portion of the term, it is important to note that there is a strong connotation with “challenge.” Therefore, if one is seeking their ikigai, it requires a certain amount of effort.

Oh… so no more lounging? No more just resting and relaxing? It was necessary to put effort into finding my next path?

It was time for me to get up and off my couch, change my mindset and raise my standards.

Rather than focusing on my fear of losing my identity, I would instead need to put my energy into expanding it.

In Other Words: It Was Time to Get to Work!

Are you, or someone you know, struggling with retirement? It is not always an easy transition.

The following precepts and questions helped me to find my new path.

1. Don’t let others define me.
2. Do not buy into the notion that retirement is synonymous with retreating, withdrawing, shrinking and/or disappearing.
3. I get to choose my conviction and dreams.
4. New opportunities come along at any age, be ready for them.
5. When I stop learning and growing, I start dying.
6. Make ‘gratitude’ my lens in life. Each day is a gift filled with blessings and opportunities.

7. Bringing more value to others, brings more purpose to my life.
8. Serving not only benefits others, but bring benefits to me as well. Benefits like happiness, health and longevity.

Here Are Some Questions to Journal About:

• What is my vision for the next year of my life?
• Will I choose to live an intentional life?
• What matters to me?
• What are my convictions? What are my non-negotiables?
• How will I continue to grow?
• What was something I was passionate about when I was younger?
• What are my strengths and my gifts?
• What new areas would I like to pursue?
• What will I regret not having tried or done? (Think about my ‘what ifs’ or ‘one day I wills’)
• What do I love?
• What gives me joy? How can I share that joy?
• What can I do to support and encourage others?
• What new opportunities do I see in front of me?

I am pleased to report that it wasn’t long before I found my next calling. And I hope to motivate others who feel they have lost their identity, or feel invisible, to step up and step out. You are never too old to make a difference. And who knows… as my granddaughter once reminded me… we might change the world.

Oh, and by the way… I still hate the word ‘retirement.”

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What does retirement mean to you? How do you define it? What list of things have you created that have put meaning to your life after retirement?

I love the idea of learning something then expanding and building upon what we have learned. This lesson we are working on p.20 in Upper Hands Piano, BOOK 1. After learning the song, we’re going to add some elements to make it more fun and creative. I hope you enjoy Lesson 4!

Note: If you are joining us for the first time, below is a list of our previous LESSONS. Please subscribe to Sixty and Me’s newsletter to continue learning with us! Lessons are posted every other Thursday.

Introduction to the Piano Course

Lesson 1: Let Our Classes Begin

Lesson 2: Reading and Playing Our First 5 Notes

Lesson 3: 3 Health Issues That Might Affect Your Piano Playing

4.1 First Things FIRST

It is important that you remind yourself to play with curved fingers. Playing with flat fingers will impede your movement, so check your fingers often and raise them up to a gentle curve. When you approach a song or piece for the first time, before diving in, you want to take note of your clef/clefs. Treble/Right Hand, or Bass/Left Hand, or Both staves (Grand Staff). On p. 20 we use just your right hand on the Treble Staff.

Next you will look to see what your time signature is. On p.20 it is 4/4 so there will be 4 beats per measure, and a quarter note will get one count.

Then you will start playing the notes, making sure to hold them for the correct number of beats. On p.20 we will be using just Treble C, D, E, F, G, with quarter notes, half notes and whole notes.

4.2 Playing p.20 to a Beat

Once you get comfortable playing p.20 – you get the notes, the fingering and how long to hold each note, try playing with me! If you can’t stay with my beat, keep practicing the song and come back to this video often to try playing along

I know, Yoda said, “There is no try” in The Empire Strikes Back movie. But in piano lessons, trying is a good thing! Maybe you will get some of the notes on the beat, but not all. That’s great; we want you to train yourself to stay with a beat, but it will probably happen gradually.

The goal is always to be able to play a piece to a steady beat, like the ticking of a clock. Your beat can be very slow, as long as it is steady.

4.3 Adding a Left-Hand Note (Don’t Panic!)

One of the coolest things about playing the piano is that we use two hands to create a full sound with melody and accompaniment. Very few instruments can do that! I want to ease you into playing with 2 hands by having you play just one left hand G at the beginning of each line on p.20. It’s not written in the music, so watch my video demonstration! Don’t worry, you can do this!

In my video, I also suggest you go back to p.16 and add a left hand G to the first beat of each line on Ode to Joy. Doesn’t that sound great?

4.4 Let’s Write Lyrics (Don’t Get Intimidated!)

Let’s stick our toe in the waters of creativity with this activity! Besides learning how to read and play music, I want you to learn how to write your own music! We are adding lyrics to the melody on p.20 just for fun. This creative exercise is also an excellent brain workout.

It’s difficult to come up with words to fit the music, and difficulty is your brain’s best friend. Your lyrics don’t have to make sense (mine are mostly random foods) and they don’t have to rhyme. They just need to fit with the rhythm of the notes.

Passion Practice

1. Review Exercise #1 in all 12 keys. If you haven’t already, try playing each exercise once with eyes open, then once with eyes closed. Remember you can use the Pentascales Chart at the back of the book to remind yourself of the 5 notes for each Pentascale. (Next lesson we will start playing Exercise #2!)
2. Play p.20. First work out the notes on your own. Then see if you can play with me to a beat (4.2 video). Once you can play to my beat, try adding the left hand G (4.3 video) at the beginning of each line.
3. Play p.16 Ode to Joy adding a left hand G at the beginning of each line for Ode to Joy.
4. Write lyrics to the song on p.20! (4.4 video)

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Would you share some or all of your lyrics for p.20 in the Comments below? Don’t let me be the only one to share! We would LOVE to see what you have come up with – serious or silly! How did it feel writing lyrics? Was it difficult, or were you able to find some phrases that worked with the rhythm? What did you title your song? Did you have fun with this activity, or did you feel too scared to try? Maybe after some of us share our lyrics, you will try again! Let us support your creative efforts!

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

When it comes to TikTok beauty favorites, there’s viral and then there’s viral. Out of all the makeup and skincare “dupes” I’ve seen blow up on TikTok, I’ve never seen something as widespread as Peter Thomas Roth’s Instant FirmX Eye Tightener. It happened so quickly, you could have gone to bed early and missed the product that truly took over the platform, with makeup artists, influencers and even dermatologists weighing in. Allow me to explain.

54-year-old TikToker @trinidad1967 was getting ready for work on Wednesday and decided to pop outside into the light to show her followers her favorite skin-smoothing trick for her under-eye bags. “I’m very self-conscious of them,” she says. “And I found this and it works amazing.” She takes a tube of Peter Thomas Roth Instant FirmX Eye Tightener ($38 at Peter Thomas Roth, but on sale at Dermstore for $30.40—just enter code REFRESH by March 10) and applies the clear gel under just one eye. After a few minutes, it dries and the results are incredible.

A whopping 43 million users have watched her video—including the brand, which contacted her and is “sending free supplies and a bunch of product,” per her latest video. (It better be a lifetime supply!)

Peter Thomas Roth.

OK, so what the heck is this stuff? Well, first it’s important to note that the effect is temporary. TikTok-fave derm Dr. Dustin Portela, or @208skindoc, jumped in to give his two cents. “The active ingredient that causes this result is a silicate,” he says. “There are many different types of silicates and they can be used in food and medicine and many other applications. When the product is exposed to air, the silicates start to form a lattice or a network, and they tighten and they do dramatically reduce the appearance of lines and wrinkles, but the effect is temporary.”

Dr. Portela goes on to say that there are other versions of this skin-tightening cream on the market but he does like the other ingredients in this one from Peter Thomas Roth. Ingredients such as peptides can have a more subtle — but long-term — benefit.

Facial plastic surgeon Dr. Prem Tripathi, who goes by @drpremtripathi on TikTok, also stitched the video to give his opinion. “This is by far one of the best results I’ve seen that actually mimics a surgical result,” he says. “She’s using it to treat these festoons, which are very very difficult to treat surgically.”

Now, you probably want to get your hands on the stuff. Well, it sold out pretty much everywhere overnight. Luckily, Dermstore has it on sale for 20 percent off when you enter the promo code.

Jennifer Aydin’s Blue and Red Ombre Dress on Watch What Happens Live

Watch What Happens Live Fashion February 28, 2023

While on last night’s Watch What Happens Live Jennifer Aydin said “My opinion’s the only one that matters to me”, I think she’ll think our opinion on her blue and red ombre dress matters. As it’s that she looked great in it. Because even if Bill Aydin won’t gas her up, we totally will if she keeps rocking looks like this.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to See her OFF-WHITE Athleisure Monogrammed Dress

Originally posted at: Jennifer Aydin’s Blue and Red Ombre Dress

Jen Fessler’s Blue and Brown Printed Top

Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 13 Episode 4 Fashion

On last night’s Real Housewives of New Jersey, Jen Fessler greets Rachel Fuda at lunch with “I find this whole thing annoying …. you, your body, your whole thing,”. Instead of wine throwing ensuing, it comes across and hilarious and endearing. And so far that seems to sum up Jen. She’s relatable and her sense of humor and honestly are a total breath of fresh in the world of Real Housewives. My only issue so far is that her affordable blue and brown printed top is sold out. Even so, in the words of Rachel “I f*cking love Jen Fessler.”

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to See her Heartloom Top

Shop Available Colors:

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Originally posted at: Jen Fessler’s Blue and Brown Printed Top