Month: May 2023

Film Review: Fonda and Tomlin in Moving On

movie review moving on

Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin are at it again. Last year’s follow-up to the seven year run of Grace and Frankie was, 80 For Brady, a whimsical quest to meet and ogle superstar footballer, Tom Brady. Even with the addition of co-stars Sally Field and Rita Moreno, the film landed with a thud at the box office. No amount of alchemy could squeeze comedy from a premise that thin.

In Moving On, Paul Weitz’s MeToo tale of vigilante justice, the emotional and dramatic stakes are set at loftier levels. Enough to support the big gun acting acumen Fonda and Tomlin bring to a project.

The Who and The What

Fonda’s character, Claire, has been rubbing against the raw edges of trauma-induced anxiety for decades. It’s not a stretch to believe she’d go gunning for a man who’d raped her almost 50 years ago. Intense and headstrong, wielding a well-seasoned recipe for revenge, she’s now in search of someone to play Bonnie to her Clyde.

Enter Tomlin as the wise-cracking sidekick, Evelyn. A world of backstory exists behind those weary, but wary eyes. Evelyn isn’t happy to see Claire. It’s been decades. She’s got life down to a science, and she likes it that way. But she’s chill.

Upon hearing Claire’s assassination aspirations, she folds quickly, stating with impish delight: “I can chat about that,” thus igniting the plot – a destination murder, if you will – at an oceanside resort in southern California.

Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange, Mozart in the Jungle) occupies with gusto the role of Fonda’s intended victim, Howard. We know him well. Like Dabney Coleman’s well-defined office villain in Fonda and Tomlin’s Nine to Five, he’s the guy everybody loves to hate.

We can stretch credulity to accept the fate being planned for him. McDowell is totally perfect, keeping the pitch of his angry histrionics low-key, matching the understated bandwidth set by the two stars’ performances. 

Richard (Shaft) Roundtree plays Claire’s first husband, Ralph. The sweetness of their present-day romantic interlude serves as counterpoint to Claire’s internal tug-of-war about how she will respond to his sexual entreaties.

Something Fonda does better than almost anyone else in film is to convey the critical bend of a character’s will with minimal expression and maximum impact. Her screen time with Roundtree is a reminder of the uber-mature entanglement she shares with Robert Redford in Our Souls at Night.

The Absurdity

The crime will be set in motion during a life celebration for the alleged rapist’s deceased wife. Both Claire and Evelyn had been the woman’s close friends. Her death allows them a guilt-free zone to move forward with their strategy.

The clumsy planning and preparation provide some of the film’s finer comedic moments. But, of course, it would. These are the antics of wannabe octogenarian murderers. And though it’s Fonda’s single-mindedness propelling the plot forward, Tomlin’s Yoda-like wisdom helps us take the leap of faith necessary to believe this revenge comedy won’t careen off its unstable rails.

Once at the gathering, Claire gets to work immediately. Confronting her demons while shaking the hand of her attacker, she tells Howard: “I’m going to kill you. Now that she’s gone. I’m going to do it this weekend.”

We might laugh awkwardly at the emotion-free delivery of the shocking threat. But it leaves us to wonder what world we’ve wandered into. And that might be the problem.

Moving On constantly shifts genres from black comedy to episodic melodrama, to ripped-from-the-headlines social commentary. As written by Writer/Director, Weitz, it’s sometimes a tough slog to sort through which film we’re watching.

The Wherefore

The best buddy films take us down roads that provide opportunities for growth to the lead characters. Moving On is no exception. Claire and Evelyn are substantively altered by their diverse experiences. We care about them. But, in the end, we are force-fed a mashup of potential hilarity instantly rendered flat by Weitz’s desire to wrap things up in a neat package.

In a film fixated on the dark, the messy, and the complicated, a neat package is not the reward we expect, nor seek. Contemporary culture has grasped the platform of the MeToo movement. We can be trusted with a film that more deeply examines the motivations for revenge, while at the same time hitting subtle notes of irony, self-deprecation, and yes, wry humor.

For additional film reviews at howardfishman.net, click here.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you Fonda and/or Tomlin fan? Which of their movies is your favorite? Have you seen Moving On? What did you think of it? Do you think it was lacking in development? Please share your thoughts!

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10 Signs of Emotional Eating and Strategies to Break Free

emotional eating

Emotional eating is a common coping mechanism where we turn to food for comfort during times of stress, sadness, or boredom. It leads us to consume food in response to emotions, especially negative emotions, instead of hunger. 

People more prone to emotional eating are those who

  • Struggle to identify how they feel and why,
  • Have trouble regulating their emotions, and
  • Are highly susceptible to stress.

While emotional eating may provide temporary relief, it often leads to guilt. Emotional eating is unhealthy, both physically and emotionally. It can lead to overeating because it isn’t filling your need for nutrients or calories. Your body doesn’t need food: it needs emotional soothing.

In this article, we will explore the common signs of emotional eating as well as effective strategies to help you break free from it and develop a healthier relationship with food.

Common Signs of Emotional Eating

You already know what you need to do to lose weight and how to proceed. You know about nutrition, how to eat healthy, fat burning, calorie counting, and muscle building. And you really want to change your relationship with food. That’s why you have been trying for so long.

For you, the key to success is not information, education, skills, or willpower. You already have all of them. Food is not the issue for emotional eaters. Food is how they cope with their issues.

You have tried a “plan” or two that didn’t work – or maybe all the plans. They probably didn’t work, because there’s no one-size-fits-all “formula” for emotional eating. How you will overcome it can only be defined by you, and guilt doesn’t belong anywhere in that equation. Most of the time, the answer isn’t about controlling yourself. It’s about relief, freedom, and a touch of pleasure.

Emotional eating is when you use food to make yourself feel better. Emotional eaters fill their stomach, but their emotional needs remain unmet, creating even more cravings.

Here are some signs that you may be an emotional eater:

  • You eat when you are stressed.
  • You eat in response to your emotions.
  • You seek solace in food.
  • You have difficulties losing weight, because you can’t stay on an eating protocol more than a few weeks.
  • You can’t stop eating when your mind decides to: you eat until your cravings are satisfied, whether you feel full or not, sometimes until you hurt.
  • You eat to feel happy.
  • You obsess about food.
  • You use food as a reward.
  • You binge eat.
  • You eat impulsively.

All of us emotionally eat to some extent. That’s quite normal because food intrinsically has an emotional component to it. But if you recognize three or more of your own eating behaviors in this list, it’s likely that emotional eating has evolved into a bigger issue in your life.

Identify Your Emotional Eating Triggers to Help You Break Free from Emotional Eating

While diet and exercise are important in a weight loss process, experimenting with yet another diet will likely not make any difference for an emotional eater trying to lose weight. They need to focus on the root causes that have created their eating behaviors, and how to change their way of eating sustainably.

Emotional eating often involves using food as a distraction or source of comfort. Stress, anxiety, loneliness, fatigue or certain environments can act as catalysts. You can learn to recognize the emotional cues that usually lead you to emotional eating. Gaining insight into the underlying causes that lead you to food when not hungry will help you take proactive steps to address your emotions without relying on food.

To regulate your emotional eating, a key step is identifying your personal triggers. What situations, places, or feelings make you reach for the comfort of food? Most emotional eating is linked to unpleasant feelings, but it can also be triggered by positive emotions, such as rewarding yourself for achieving a goal or celebrating a holiday or happy event.

Stress

Ever notice how stress makes you hungry? It is not just in your mind. When stress is chronic, your body produces high levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, which triggers cravings for foods giving you a burst of energy and pleasure, aka salty, sweet, and fried foods. The more uncontrolled stress in your life, the more likely you are to turn to food for emotional relief. What stressful situations have led you to food lately?

Stuffing Emotions

Emotional eaters use food to temporarily silence uncomfortable emotions, including anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, loneliness, resentment, and shame. While you’re numbing yourself with food, you can avoid the difficult emotions you’d rather not feel. What emotions are you most uncomfortable feeling? Why?

Boredom or Feelings of Emptiness

Sometimes we eat as a way to simply give ourselves something to do, to relieve boredom, or as a way to fill a void in our life. When we feel unfulfilled and empty, eating is a way to keep our mouth and ourselves busy.

While in the moment, it can give us the sensation of filling up and distract us from our original feelings of purposelessness or dissatisfaction with our life. Emotional eating doesn’t give us effective steps to change what creates our dissatisfaction. What are you currently not satisfied with, in your life? What would you like to see happen instead?

Childhood Habits

Think back to your childhood memories of food. Did your parents reward good behavior with ice cream, take you out for pizza when you got a good report card, or serve you sweets when you were feeling sad? We often carry these same habits over into adulthood.

Emotional eating may also be driven by nostalgia – for cherished memories of, for example, grilling burgers in the backyard with your dad or baking and eating cookies with your mom. What are the childhood habits around food you are still practicing today? How do they make you feel? How can you nurture these feelings without the help of food?

Social Influences

I don’t know a better way to relieve stress than getting together with other people for a meal – I am French, so I might be partial here! – but it can also lead to overeating, simply because the food is there or because everyone else is eating.

Some of us may also overeat in social situations out of nervousness. In addition, some family members or friends sometimes encourage us to overeat, and it’s easier to just go along with the group. What social influences lead you to overeat? What can you do to limit their impact on your eating choices?

For some of us, emotional eating may be deeply ingrained and seeking professional guidance can be invaluable. Reclaiming control over your eating habits and foster a healthier relationship with food and with yourself can be difficult, but it is possible. You can start your journey by getting my free e-Book and learn how emotional eating began for you.  

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What are your main triggers leading you to eat your emotions? What strategies do you use to limit your emotional eating? Have they worked? In what situations do you find it’s easiest for you to overeat?

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Wrinkle Camp 101 – And It Has Nothing to Do with Your Skin!

grammy camp, summer camp, wrinkle camp, cousins camp

When my husband and I were traveling in Germany several years ago, we had the most delightful driver who brought us to the airport. We started with polite conversation, as one does, and soon discovered we had quite a bit in common. One of the most important things was our joy in running a “camp” for our grandchildren. Some things transcend distance and culture.

“Ah, yes,” he said. “My wife and I call it ‘Wrinkle Camp’. We get all our grandchildren together for a week every summer, without their parents along, and we have such fun with them!”

“We do the same!” I told him. “Sometimes it’s called ‘Grammy Camp’ because I coordinate it, but we more often call it ‘Cousins’ Camp’ because all the cousins are together. I hope they’ll build bonds that will last a lifetime.”

“Yes, yes,” he said. “It is a double win. A joy for the grandparents, and a joy for the cousins.” We laughed as we compared notes, agreeing once again that it is one of the high points of the summer.

Cousins’ Camp

I instituted my first Cousins’ Camp/Grammy Camp/Wrinkle Camp during the summer of 2016. At that time, the seven grandchildren ranged in age from 10 months to 8 years. I built our activities around certain themes.

“What Will Today’s Adventures B?”

All the activities began with the letter ‘B’.

  • Balloons
  • Bubbles
  • Bowling
  • Binder Park Zoo

(Plus, for breakfast, we had blueberry pancakes with bananas and bacon.)

Another Was, “Water We Going to Do Today?”

These were all water-themed activities:

  • Swimming
  • Paddle boats
  • Water squirters

I also made sure to include lots of free time for them to just hang out together. Kids are so good at making up their own fun together!

The first year was such a success, we’ve continued it every year. The grandchildren have informed me that it just isn’t summer without Cousins’ Camp. This makes my heart happy because the oldest two are teenagers now. Every year it takes careful planning to balance activities in terms of different ages, personalities, and interests, but somehow it always works.

Tips That Will Come in Handy

Following are a few tips for any grandparent inspired to hold a similar Camp:

Do Your Homework

Find out everything you can about your grandchildren. This is especially true if you don’t live close or haven’t spent much time with them. What are their interests? Food likes/dislikes and possible allergies? Fears and phobias? Bedtime routine?

Get Buy-In from the Parents

Make sure the parents approve of the activities you have planned. If they aren’t going to be around, get more than just their buy-in! Get medical and insurance information and paperwork, and a signed permission slip for them to be in your care.

Ask for Help

In the beginning, the kids said it didn’t count as Cousins’ Camp if the parents were around. The parents were happy with this arrangement. They often left town for their own little vacation! But now that there are 10 grandkids – while I’m getting older all the time – I discovered this just isn’t sustainable without some extra help.

One of my biggest headaches was cooking. The kids always seemed to be hungry, plus three are gluten-free and several others are quite picky. Now I ask the parents to contribute the food they know their kids can/will eat. This has helped tremendously.

Hybrid Camp

It’s not cheating to do a “hybrid” camp where the kids sleep at home and join you for activities during the day. I have often done a mixed camp where the older kids stay with me, and the younger ones join us for daytime activities.

Various Activities Are a Must

Structured activities are great, but kids also enjoy – and need! – lots of unstructured free time. This is especially true if they are with cousins they don’t see often. Just let them play!

My most successful activities have been big buckets of water with long squirters, water balloons, bubble mix, and chalk – all available from the dollar store. Kids can spend hours playing with these few items. These items also work well with a group of mixed ages and genders.

You Can Run a Camp on a Pretty Small Budget

Along with the aforementioned dollar store items, there are endless creative activities that are completely free. We have gone on nature scavenger hunts and walked along beaches looking for interesting stones. The kids come back happy and exhausted, and I haven’t spent a dime!

Of course, I do occasionally splurge on special activities for the group, but with 10 grandchildren, this can really add up! Sometimes parents chip in to help with this. Discuss this upfront, so it’s clear who is going to pay for what.

Call It Whatever You Want – Just Do It!

So, you can call it a Grammy Camp if you’re having grandchildren from just one family or a Cousins’ Camp if from more than one family, or even a “Wrinkle Camp,” if you want to inject some humor! Whatever you call it, and whether you have only a day or two or a whole week, just do it! Will you be exhausted at the end? Yes, you will, but you will have so many precious memories, and so will your grandkids. They all grow up so fast!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Does the idea of having a Grammy or Cousins’ Camp like this appeal to you? Have you already done something similar? If so, what were your most successful activities? What suggestions would you give others?

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Summer House Season 7 Reunion Looks

Summer House Season 7 Reunion Looks

Summer may be just beginning, but unfortunately Summer House is ending. We have made it to the season 7 reunion and much like the summer heat— the looks are hot. And if you missed when we shared them on LTK/IG when they were first released, well here’s your second chance! Because we’ve gathered them all up and will be sharing all the deets/Style Stealers below. So sit back and relax with your can of Loverboy and watch the drama unfold. Then in about 5-7 business days you can do the same and watch your new ‘fits unfold.

 

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

 

Amanda Batula’s Season 7 Reunion Look

Amanda Batula's Season 7 Reunion Look

Click Here to Shop Her Asta Resort Dress

Photo: BravoTV.com

Shop Style Stealers:

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Paige DeSorbo’s Season 7 Reunion Look

Paige DeSorbo's Season 7 Reunion Look

Custom Dress by @undonebykate

Left Photo + Info: BravoTV.com

Right Photo: @undonebykate

Shop Style Stealers:

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Lindsay Hubbard’s Season 7 Reunion Look

Lindsay Hubbard's Season 7 Reunion Look

Click Here to Shop Her New Arrivals Top

Click Here to Shop Her New Arrivals Skirt

Photo: BravoTV.com

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Ciara Miller’s Season 7 Reunion Look

Ciara Miller's Season 7 Reunion Look

Outfit Custom by @laurengabrielson

Photo + Info: BravoTV.com

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Danielle Olivera’s Season 7 Reunion Look

Danielle Olivera's Season 7 Reunion Look

Click Here to Shop Her Self Portrait Dress

Photo + Info: BravoTV.com

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Sam Feher’s Season Season 7 Reunion Look

Sam Feher's Season Season 7 Reunion Look

Click Here to Shop Her Bronx and Banco Dress

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Mya Allen’s Season 7 Reunion Look

Mya Allen's Season 7 Reunion Look 

Click Here to Shop Her Hanifa Pants

Click Here to See Her Hanifa Top

Photo + Info: BravoTV.com

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Gabby Prescod’s Season 7 Reunion Look

Gabby Prescod's Season 7 Reunion Look

Click Here to Shop Her Alaia Dress

Photo + Info: BravoTV.com

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Originally posted at: Summer House Season 7 Reunion Looks

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My Positive Rant on Ageing and Loving Your Body!

positive ageing

I can’t hold back any longer! Time is far too precious to spend another moment not loving our precious bodies or celebrating our age in the most joyous of ways.

I was recently invited to be a speaker at an event on positive ageing. It was a fabulous evening attended by so many wonderful women (and a few fabulous men too!) At the end of my talk, a few of the ladies came up to me to say how much they had enjoyed the talk.

However, they also shared with me that they felt invisible in their lives and felt quite despondent about the thought of growing older. I wish you could have seen them – they were marvellous! They just couldn’t see how gorgeous they were.

Every part of our life has been teaching us more about who we are, what we desire, what we love, what we can overcome and what deeply fulfils our soul. Every passing year has brought with it some kind of wisdom, learning, insight, achievement, knowledge or awareness. Everything we have been through, every landscape we have traveled has been in preparation for us to truly come of age and to step boldly into our passion and purpose.

If Not Now, When?

And the question in my mind is, “If not now, when?” When will we look into the mirror and smile at our reflection? When will we declare to the world that we are enough just as we are? When will we allow ourselves to be the person that we most desire to be and own all of our talents, gifts and experiences that our lives have brought us?

When will we be fully comfortable in our bodies, knowing that they have loved and supported us as best they could all of these years? What has all of this extraordinary life experience been for if not to finally be able to wear our lives like coats of pure gold around our shoulders and stand, face to the wind, arms outstretched, hearts open and proclaim loudly, as in the old Helen Reddy song, “I am woman hear me roar!”

Be Visible to Yourself First!

Life calls us to hold our heads high and live as we’ve never lived before in ways which feel sweet and right for our authentic self.

Many people feel as if they become invisible after a certain age. However, what truly matters is that we are visible to ourselves – that we choose to see the amazing, brave, beautiful person that we are and we honour this every day by choosing to show up for ourselves first and foremost.

Choose Miracles!

There is a saying that there are two ways in which we can live our life. The first is as if everything is a miracle. The second is as if nothing is a miracle. When I look at these choices, I know which way I desire to live.

When I look at the world with eyes full of possibility, I see miracles everywhere. We can complain about growing older or we can celebrate the miracle of our life every single day. We are so blessed to be here. To walk on this beautiful earth. To breathe in our life day after day and to rise to meet new challenges, joys and opportunities.

There are many who would envy us this privilege. Those who are no longer here would give everything they had for just another moment to be with their loved ones. To sit in the garden and listen to the birds singing so sweetly, to tumble into welcoming and loving arms of those they loved when the day grew too hard and to arise anew every morning with hope in their hearts and wonder in their eyes.

Make no mistake, life is a privilege, a gift, a blessing and the greatest adventure we will ever have.

When I was in my 20s, I hated the thought of growing older. I was hard on myself and hugely critical of everything I did. However, my life journey has taught me how to be kinder to myself, to appreciate my dear body.

When I suffer with arthritis, I know how to be compassionate instead of chastising myself. When I feel as if things are too overwhelming, I remind myself that I have felt this way before, and I have come through these moments. When I have lost people in my life that I have loved, I turn to my heart where all of their love, smiles, hugs and laughter live on.

And as Agatha Christie once said, “I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow; but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.”

I echo her sentiments. It really is a grand thing to be alive.

Loving Your One Wild and Precious Life

So, let’s keep turning towards ourselves with our arms open wide and our hearts full of possibilities. Let’s face the day with courage and love in our eyes and boldness in our bones. Let’s live fully and meaningfully until the day that we finally leave this beautiful earth and let our last words be full of thanks and gratitude for our own wild and oh-so-precious life.

And finally, for those of you who love affirmations, here are 10 positive affirmations (or mini rants) to say every morning:

  • I am so blessed to be here – my life is the most precious gift.
  • Every day, in every way, I allow more happiness into my life.
  • Wow, aren’t we all incredible?
  • I am so excited by the thought of what every year will bring.
  • I am so grateful to my dear body which allows me to feel the sun on my face, the wind in my hair and to experience all the pleasures that life can bring.
  • Every day, I will get up, show up and dress up for me.
  • Life simply gets better and better, and I love it.
  • I am fabulous and so is everyone else.
  • I am so happy to be me.
  • I can and I am!

Do join me on Instagram where I share all things fabulous and inspirational about life and feeling fabulous! I would love to have your company!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What inspires you, motivates you or makes you feel so blessed to be alive? What do you do when negative thoughts creep in? Do you have special affirmations that you tell yourself every day?

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