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When was the last time you felt excited to share one or more of your innermost desires with someone but instead chose to remain silent?

Perhaps you didn’t feel they would support you. Maybe you’re allowing the desire to take shape so you feel clearer on how to communicate it.

Or, perhaps, this has been a reoccurring theme in your life whereby your innermost desires are rarely – if ever – shared openly.

If you’re someone who likes to share your desires with others, how often do you find yourself justifying those desires or apologizing for wanting more out of your life?

If you can relate to any of these, you are not alone.

In this article and accompanying video, we are going to explore what is needed to refocus and renew your relationship with your innermost desires.

From Excitement to Turmoil

When you consider most of our generation’s desires were born out of trauma and survival mode, it’s not surprising how many of us over 60 remain silent when it comes to sharing our desires.

For as much as our innermost desires can excite us, they can also stir up inner turmoil.

That turmoil is connected to unresolved trauma, feelings of unworthiness, and an unconscious attachment to limiting beliefs.

To refocus and renew your relationship with your desires first requires a better understanding of what’s behind the limiting beliefs that convince you that life would be easier keeping your true, inner desires a secret.

Downbeat and Gloominess

For several decades, Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends have highlighted that Baby Boomers “are more downbeat about their lives than are adults who are younger or older.”

Pew concluded their data indicates our generation’s lack of excitement for life is not related to aging but is, “…related to the attitudes and expectations about life they formed when they were young.” 

When it comes to embracing the excitement of your desires after 60, the way you went about getting your desires met at earlier stages of your life may be unconsciously affecting your level of happiness and fulfillment right now.

Therefore, something has to change.

Getting Our Desires Met

Most of our generation were taught to achieve our desires we must work hard and sacrifice fun until we have earned enough money, time, or authoritarian approval to enjoy having what we achieved.

For women of our generation, far too often getting our desires met were limited as society expected us to put everyone else’s needs before our own.

When we did go after our desires, the blowback of shame and blame forced many of us to feel guilty for wanting more out of life.

All of this kept a good majority of our generation disconnected from our true, authentic selves. Hiding behind conformity left many feeling embarrassed, fearful, or uncomfortable sharing our desires with others.

So, here you are, over 60 and wiser than ever. But how do you get your desires met at this stage of your life, let alone feel empowered to share them with those you trust?

5 Steps to Get Your Desires Met

Here are five effective and simple steps to refocus and renew your relationship with your desires.

Go to the Root

Unpack limiting beliefs about your desires from your emotional baggage. By getting to the root of why you feel life is easier if you keep your true, inner desires secret, you are freeing yourself from shame and blame, while reconnecting with your true, authentic self.

Be What It Is You Seek

Accept your worthiness to be, do, and experience your innermost desires right now. This is aligning your inner beliefs with what you desire to manifest in the outer world. In other words, you are your desire. When you embrace your worthiness, you embrace your desires.

Empower Your Voice

Fear of speaking openly about your desires stems from being shamed and blamed earlier in life. To overcome this, begin talking your desires out loud when you are alone. Record yourself if possible. Get comfortable hearing your true, authentic self speak your desires into existence.

Embrace Support

While we all want to be supported, most of our family and friends share similar limiting beliefs to our own. Therefore, to honor your desires, seek out support from people who are doing what you want and are specifically trained to help you get your desires met. This way your desires are being positively reflected instead of negatively deflected.

Build a Relationship with Your Desires

Make time every day to either journal your desires and/or visualize yourself enjoying your desires being fulfilled. Both are excellent methods for building a relationship with your desires, which fuels your passion for bringing them to life in your outer world.

I invite you to share in the comments how you honor your desires after 60.

In the meantime, please join me in the video where I will share additional insights, such as how to get your desires met with money, health, and relationships.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you aware of your desires? Do you talk about them out loud? Do you discuss them with others? Who makes up your support group and can you trust them to uplift you?

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Whether you are starting over because your marriage ended, or because you are a widow or an empty nester, it is a time to refocus your life. And with that new focus come new possibilities.

Attitude is everything. You will never find happiness if you don’t look at the future with excitement – the enthusiasm that comes with a new adventure.

When You’re Living Alone, Your Day Is Different

Remember when your children were younger and your day revolved around a school schedule? Whether working in the home or outside the home, there was an imaginary “changing of the guard” in the afternoon. As the children grew and became busier after school, that school day lengthened.

Dinner time became the magnet around which the family revolved. Then the children flew the nest, and dinner was still a pivot point for the day. Now, there are no children coming home and as you start over, you may find that those hours between day and evening feel a little empty.

When I became an empty nester, I realized that the pattern of my day had changed. It was as if I had been given a couple of free hours. I enjoyed the extra time. But, when I moved out of my family home into an apartment by myself, it was unsettling. No one was ever waiting for me to come home. And no one was coming in the door unless I walked out and came back in!

It became a time of day that I dreaded. No one would miss me if I didn’t come home. And, no one was coming home but me. What had been a time of day to which I looked forward, was now a painful reminder of my “table for one” lifestyle. My day is different now.

You Have More Time

I had to shake up my daily patterns. I have more time during the day than I used to have and I need to use that time as a gift. What in the past was throw-away time – that late afternoon time used for clean-up for the day – can now be used more fully.

I schedule workouts or more office time. I can really pack it in, and I love how productive I can be late in the day.

Weekends Have New Focus

Remember when weekends meant kids sports back to back? I couldn’t wait for that to end and now I wish I had it to do over again! Of course. When you live alone, Friday evening can be one of the most daunting times of the week if you don’t make any plans.

Planning is the key. Give yourself some goals so you feel good about what you accomplished come Monday morning. Here is how it looks for me: I plan two workouts, one each day. I plan one household project. Changing out the closet from spring to summer will be my next open day. I book one day of social time with friends who don’t mind me hanging around with them. Also, I decide on one “hobby” project. I am a knitter.

By Sunday night I am proud of myself for getting those items completed, but believe me, if I have something to do that keeps me from those tasks, I am thrilled.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you live alone? What advice would you give to the women in our community who may find themselves living alone for the first time? What do you do to bring a new way of life into focus? How do you spend your days if you live by yourself? Please join the conversation.