We’ve been brainwashed for decades into believing that alcohol is fun, essential for socializing and will help us to relax. The combination of marketing and social pressure has left us with “false beliefs” about the necessity of drinking alcohol. We need to work on overturning those beliefs and if you are ready to do that then read this article.

We recently hosted a Sobriety Bootcamp, and here are 10 takeaways I’d like to share with you.

Find Your Whys

Many of us have resolved to take a break from alcohol but after a couple of weeks we grow bored with the challenge. We need to stay strong and focused and the best way to do that is to make a list of why you are doing this. Is it to improve your health or your relationships or to get fit or something else? Make a list of your whys and look at them every single day.

Avoid the Moderation Trap

I personally spent more than a decade stuck in this miserable place. I just couldn’t imagine my life without my beloved Sauvignon Blanc so decided I would just cut down. I discovered that the “low risk” limits are a bottle and a half of wine a week. So, I tried (and failed) to drink within those limits again and again. I finally accepted that I was dependent and would have to quit.

Don’t Fear Failure

Many people don’t even get started on this life changing journey because they worry that they will fail. The truth is that you may fail, over and over. You may have many “Day Ones” but the important thing is to keep trying. Log your alcohol-free days and aim for longer and longer Sober Stretches until it sticks. This journey is about progress not perfection.

Have Your Reasons Ready

Whether you are merely taking a break or want to explore an alcohol-free lifestyle be prepared for questions! Alcohol is the only drug we have to justify not taking. The best way to deal with this is to keep it light – “I’ve not been sleeping well so want to take a break from alcohol” is a good one. As a follow up you can say, “I’ve been alcohol free for a few weeks and feel fantastic!”

Use a Tracker

If you mark your day as alcohol-free in the morning you are less likely to spoil it by drinking in the evening. Whether you are taking a break for 5 days, 30 days or a year drop me an email janet@tribesober.com and I’ll send you one of our awesome trackers. Stick it on the fridge and watch those alcohol-free days mount up.

Play the Movie Forward

Whether you are tempted to drink or facing a boozy social event, this is a great technique to use. If it’s a craving, then imagine what will happen after that “one drink” you are thinking about. The chances are it will lead to another and even another which will result in that 3 am wake-up call when the anxiety kicks in. If it’s a social event, then just plan what you’ll be drinking in advance.

Don’t Be Depressed!

If you love your wine, then you will miss it at first but hang in there and you will start to experience the benefits of an alcohol-free lifestyle. Your skin will improve, your eyes will sparkle, and you will start to love mornings! There are thousands of delicious alcohol-free drinks available these days so there’s no need to feel deprived at all.

Acknowledge the Health Risks

As we know, “nobody gets out of here alive” but that doesn’t mean we can’t make every effort to Live Long and Die Well. I gave up drinking at the age of 63 and feel fantastic after 8 alcohol free years. I am convinced that giving up alcohol is absolutely the best thing we can do for our health and happiness as we age. Here are 6 Reasons to Ditch the Booze after 60.

Don’t Go It Alone

For some of us it’s not until we try to take a break from alcohol that we realize that we’ve become dependent. If we try to quit drinking alone, we often struggle. Most of us need a community to keep us on track and motivated. We need to be reassured that we are not the only one with this problem and that there is a way out. If you’d like some support, then check out Tribe Sober.

Dry July Challenge

The first step in changing our relationship with alcohol is to take a break. Have a month off drinking to see if you have become dependent. If you find a month without alcohol a breeze, then you are fine but if it’s really hard (or even impossible) that’s a sure sign that you need to make some changes.

If you’d like some community and online support to get you through an alcohol-free month, then check out Tribe Sober’s Dry July Challenge

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you ever thought that you need to change your relationship with alcohol? Have you quit drinking – how did you do it and what are the benefits of being alcohol free? What false beliefs do you hold about alcohol – do you think it’s essential for socializing? If you do want to quit, then what are your whys? Have you ever tried to cut down… and failed? Does the thought of giving up alcohol depress you?

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Have you ever noticed how some women in our age group attract and date wonderful men while others struggle to meet any men at all? They aren’t prettier, smarter, thinner, or richer than you, so how do they find love with such high-quality men while you don’t? Is it simply luck?

No, it’s not luck that makes the difference. It’s the way we view love, romance, and dating that makes the difference. There are four key ingredients successful daters incorporate into their love life that you can learn how to do.

These are the ingredients they use to find love and they will help you attract high-quality men who will love you the way you want to be loved. Adopting these key ingredients will help you become the person you want to attract. Let’s explore the what and the why.

Positive Mindset

If you want to attract a high-quality man, you’ve got to believe you’re worthy of dating a high-quality man. Men want an easy-breezy love story too, and if you don’t feel like you’re a great catch, your insecurity can easily turn into neediness. And that’s a turn-off.

You attract men at your energetic level or below. So, if you find you’re attracting all the wrong men, you may want to look inside for answers.

Open Heart

The women you see dating great guys are women who believe in love. They ignore the myth that all the good men are taken and believe love is meant for everyone, even them.

Your brain is a goal seeking mechanism and will help you find love if you know who you’re looking for and expect to find him. Believing love is possible for you is what helps you notice the men who are noticing you. Without it you can easily miss Cupid’s arrow.

Strong Skillset

Knowing how to text, get flirty, create a great dating profile, and talk to men, etc. are all great skills to acquire. You’ll date with more confidence and be able to take better advantage of new opportunities to meet high-quality men.

Confidence looks attractive on everyone, and competence leads to confidence. Learning the right dating strategies will help you feel stronger, smarter, and fiercer as you put yourself out there. You’ll never feel the need to settle for less.

Positive Romantic Action

If you are waiting for destiny to ‘accidentally’ bring you love, you will be waiting a long time. Miracles do happen, but you need to create opportunities for those miracles to come to life. You need to put yourself out there, meet men, and go on dates.

Every man you meet brings you closer to meeting the right man for you. It teaches you things about yourself and allows you to practice your dating skills. High-quality men are everywhere, and positive romantic action will get things moving in the right direction.

Do the Inner Work

Based on my personal experience and the experience of my clients, the inner work is the most important work. Learning how to flirt or text is easy compared to learning how to let go of past hurts or limiting beliefs and rebuild confidence.

This inner work is the true key to your success in dating because it creates a positive foundation of self-love. And self-love is what leads you to a loving, happy, healthy long-term relationship.

If you feel that you’re missing one or more of the key ingredients you need to find love, you can learn more about my coaching program, where we focus on transformation from the inside out.

Let’s have a conversation.

Which of these four ingredients has created the biggest impact on your dating life? What would you change, if you knew how, so you could create a more positive result?