Month: September 2023

I love daisies. If you ask me to name my favorite flower, a daisy is always my answer. Roses, tulips, and poppies are never mentioned, although I “like” them too. My simple flower choice is always a daisy.

Ask me what my favorite scent is, I will reply sandalwood. My favorite colors are black, pink and turquoise. Estee Lauder Frosted Apricot has been my special lipstick color for years. Yellow highlighters are my preference. I only buy white candles.

Knowing What You Love Is the Beginning

You get the idea. After 60 years of wandering around shops, reading reviews, trial and error, I have figured out what I like. Perhaps you have too. We know that we don’t need more stuff! However, this has not stopped me from buying things so far off that list of select preferences, you’d hardly know the item was for the same person.

Knowing what we love in important purchasing categories makes simplification an easier process and probably one of the reasons that I don’t find downsizing as hard now as when I was younger.

Decisions, Decisions…

For me, simplification starts with that pure process of choice. “Choose wisely,” is the mantra I repeat to myself when I regret having this or that. The challenge is to choose what I love and then most importantly love what I choose. Decision making becomes easier, calmer and more rewarding. The desire to purchase more stuff is defused. Not seeing the choice as denial is the secret.

Images Can Be a Substitute for Things

There are some things, of course, that bring joy in their diversity and eccentricity. I don’t think even Marie Kondo would disagree that we are allowed moments of non-conformity. Also known as making an impulse purchase.

Surely, we are allowed to make the occasional eccentric acquisition. To buy something that lets a newly discovered or secreted quirky part of our personality out. The joy of buying a bright red dress that will hang in a closet in a sea of blue.

Original art is one thing on which I used to spend ridiculous amounts of money – cash that would fund my grandchildren’s education today. Even though I am sure the artist benefited from my investment, I regret those purchases. Today I have a picture of Marc Chagall’s The Wedding on my wall instead of the lithograph that cost thousands.

In a downsized world, there is no physical space for large paintings. Instead, I make collages of postcards that stimulate memory, a feeling, an experience of a place I’ve been. I now select pictures of items that I find intriguing. They stretch across a spectrum.

On my walls, you will find pictures of Greek flowerpot, a turquoise Vespa, a white candle, a purple gypsy caravan, a black bike against an amber wall. You might see a door, river, hill or church. An image that amplifies memories can be more powerful than the “thing” itself.

A decision to use images instead of more stuff allows diversity in my passions and interests, but not in the number of possessions I need to own. I love that simplicity.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you have pictures on your wall of things that you love but do not own? What do they represent to you? Have you considered this type of conversion – from real item to an image?

Welcome to Lesson 18, covering pages 59-61 in our Upper Hands Piano, BOOK 1.

[NOTE: If you are just joining us for the first time, you can find my previous Sixty and Me Free Piano Lessons on my Author page. You can join our lessons any time!]

18.1 Touchstones and a New Note: Treble A, p.11 and p.59

You might remember from p.11 that the TREBLE CLEF is also called the G-CLEF because it circles around the G line in the treble clef. Similarly, the BASS CLEF is also known as the F-CLEF because the F line lies between its two dots. You can think of Treble G and Bass F as touchstones.

When you encounter a note you don’t know in the treble staff, find your G line and count up or down from G to figure out your note. If you encounter a note you don’t know in the bass staff, find your F line and count up or down from F to figure out the note. On p.59 I introduce Treble A5. This is the A above middle C. If you find your touchstone Treble G, A will be one note above it. For more about touchstones, watch my video:

18.2-18.3 London Bridge and Blow the Man Down, p.60

On p. 60 we’re playing songs that include our new note A5. Notice that your right hand is now playing 6 notes, with only 5 fingers! When we play more than 5 consecutive notes in one hand, we have to shift our fingers around a bit.

Take note of the circled fingering. When I circle a finger number it is to remind you that it’s not going to just fall under your fingers. You might have to move your hand a bit in order to get the correct finger on the indicated note. The circled fingerings alert you to be aware!

18.2 London Bridge:

18.3 Blow the Man Down

18.4 Listen to the Mockingbird, p.61

If you have time in these two weeks, play Listen to the Mockingbird. But if you don’t, just take an extra week to learn it. Mockingbird has some tricky rhythms and starts with a pick-up, so be sure to watch or listen to my video! Here is Mockingbird played slowly and faster:

https://youtu.be/x5KuTFaOGrY (slowly)

https://youtu.be/nTvSzv_6Rx4 (faster)

Passion Practice!

1. Exercise #3 in E-flat (review) and B-flat (new). Play each exercise 3 times: 2x Forte (loudly) then 1x Piano (softly) with each hand. Use the PENTASCALES chart at the back of the book if you are unsure of any hand positions. Review Ex #3 in B, F#, D-flat and A-flat when you can.
2. Chord Calisthenics #3 – Play the major/minor/major triads in F# and D-flat, and review E and B.
3. Play London Bridge and Blow the Man Down on p.60. Once you feel comfortable with the notes and rhythm for those two songs, go on to Listen to the Mockingbird on p. 61. You might want to take an extra week for Mockingbird, or you can play it along with Lesson 19.

An Interesting Habit Building Idea

In his book Atomic Habits, author James Clear suggests that we pair something like our piano practice “habit” which might be difficult, with a light and easy pleasurable habit. For example, I love my daily cup of matcha latte which I drink about an hour after I eat breakfast.

If I make an agreement with myself that I get to have my morning matcha AFTER I have practiced my piano for 20 minutes, I will be more likely to get my practice in, and it will be sooner rather than later, because I don’t like to have caffeinated drinks after noon.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

With what positive habit might you pair your practice? A morning cuppa coffee? A meal? A bath? An afternoon walk? A favorite TV show, or movie time? I feel so great about my week when I fit my practice in at least 3-5 days. As I discussed in Video 18.1 above, how are you striking that balance between striving for consistent practice, while keeping your playing fun and relaxed?

Originally posted at: Paige DeSorbo’s White Fur Slippers

Originally posted at: Paige DeSorbo’s Pink One Shoulder Flower Top

Sometimes you won’t see a red flag on the first date. Both parties are on their best behavior and the date is just great. But, by date 3, you can generally see if there are some issues that will be future date breakers. After over 25+ years as a dating coach providing online dating services, you’d be surprised by what I see popping on dates 2 and 3.

Here’s a list of 10 to pay attention to:

Right Person, Wrong Time

Darn it, it happens! You may have met the right man – but he just finished a long divorce or is recovering from being widowed. She may be the right woman – but she’s stressed with a new job, caring for an ailing parent, or just had a major event in her life such as moving or a death. Six months in the future this person might be the “one,” but they are not the “right one now.”

No Follow Through

Haven’t we all had that first date where we just clicked and made plans for a second date? Then… nothing. You don’t hear from him for weeks; when you do, it’s a lame excuse. Or you made plans for a game of tennis and an hour before, he cancels – with no reason. Consistency builds trust and trust builds a relationship.

No Questions

You’re both attracted to each other – and all he does is talk, talk, talk. About himself. His work. His golf game. Asks you no questions. Let’s say this occurred on Date #1. Date #2 begins in the same fashion. What would I advise? Graciously cut into the conversation with a “Wow, Michael, I feel like I know so much about you. Ok, so what would you like to know about me? Fire away.” If he doesn’t get the hint, adios.

Venting

Oh, what fun is this! Major sign of negativity and who needs this? Whether he’s venting about online dating (run), his son’s college tuition and how the ex pays nothing, the ex, the weather – well, he is showing his true colors. Maybe he’s having a bad day, you may think. Nope, that’s just an excuse.

Don’t we all want positivity in our lives? If this is the beginning of a potential relationship, just imagine how much worse it will get. I don’t care how good looking he (or she) is!

Distracted

There is no eye contact. He’s playing with his cell phone. Looking around the room. Looking at his watch. Asking you to repeat a question. I could go on and on with this one.

Avoiding

They are being evasive about basic questions like what they do professionally, family, where they live. Now, I don’t mean you should be asking super personal questions like “When did your last relationship end?” or “Are you looking for a long-term relationship?” as those are inappropriate for the first couple of dates. I’m thinking right now of some of my clients that are in long-term relationships – the first few dates were common interests, current events, travel, etc.

Constant Texting

Lara, a 62-year-old client of mine, really liked Chris after the first two dates. But then he began texting constantly – every few hours. As an ER doc, it annoyed her. She asked him not to text during the day. You know his response? “I miss you.” Needy, I daresay, and she correctly moved on – and is dating happily a “normal” texter!

Hot and Cold

One moment warm, the next they’ve forgotten about you, seemingly.

Can’t Plan Anything

Two facets to this one:

a. Great first date. Then endless texting and he/she can’t plan anything because of a bunch of insipid excuses – work’s really busy, they have a seminar just that weekend, their friend is in town, they’ll get back to you. This is not what you want – so don’t put up with this. Move on.

b. It’s the 2020s. To be fair, it’s up to both people to come up with fun dating ideas. He might suggest bike riding – as my client Hunter did on his date on Saturday. They rode over 14 bridges in NYC and had a blast. His date suggested a trivia night this week. The worst? “What would you like to do” to be answered with “Oh, I’m easy – you pick.”

Talks About Money

Rich man, poor man. Either way, boasting of how much you make, your toys, your 5-star vacations just makes you look insecure. On the other hand, “I’m underpaid,” “My wife took all in the divorce,” “My ex refuses to pay child support,” etc. all are inappropriate and very good signals to move on.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What are big red flags you noticed on the first three dates? What are some green flags on the first 3 dates that gave you comfort and confidence?