Month: September 2023

We all know we should be exercising. The benefits of exercise are immense, and it is always helpful and motivating to hear them.

An August 2022 study at the University of California San Diego found physical activity may have a stronger role than genetics in longevity. In 2012, researchers started measuring the physical activity of 5446 women in the United States over the age of 63. They were followed through 2020 to determine mortality.

The women wore an accelerometer to measure time and intensity of movement or lack thereof. The study found there was a lower risk of death with moderate to vigorous daily physical activity. When they factored genetic predisposition for longevity, it did not affect the results.

How Much Should You Exercise?

The CDC recommendation for adults 65 and older is to exercise at least 150 minutes a week of at least moderate intensity activity, such as brisk walking. It is also advised to do activities that strengthen muscles at least two days a week. Another recommendation is to engage in activities that improve balance, such as standing on one foot, at least three days a week.

Many Important Benefits of Exercise

Regular exercise often benefits your longevity along with your quality of life. Many people report improved mood and a decrease in chronic pain with consistent exercise.

Mental Health

Exercise produces endorphins that decrease depression and relieve anxiety. It helps us relax and reduces stress. People just feel better in general when they exercise.  

Physical Health

Exercise may prevent or decrease the effects of chronic illnesses such as hypertension, diabetes, obesity, colon cancer, Alzheimer’s disease, osteoporosis and cardiovascular disease. It also improves balance, strength, mobility and flexibility. Studies have also shown exercise boosts immunity.

Relieves Pain

You may be thinking, “What are you talking about? I’m so sore after exercising.” Well, yes, there is that. But movement has been shown to significantly decrease overall chronic pain.

Osteoarthritis pain greatly improves with exercise. Regular activity strengthens the muscles surrounding joints and decreases stiffness and pain. Exercise decreases joint inflammation and increases joint lubrication.

There are definitely some exercises that are much more friendly to our joints than others. If you do a lot of high impact exercise, such as anything involving running or jumping, you may actually increase the progression of osteoarthritis and therefore increase overall chronic pain. Low impact exercise is more suited for relieving osteoarthritis pain. Low impact cardiovascular exercises include walking, bicycling, and swimming. Range of motion exercises and strength training are also very helpful with pain relief.

Exercise Can Be Great Fun!

Exercise improves mood and decreases pain, making life more enjoyable. And, you may have much more life to enjoy if you exercise regularly. You can make it a community thing and make friends along the way.

The best exercise routines for older adults provide a combination of resistance and strength training along with flexibility and aerobic activities. It is advised to build up slowly, advancing activity in small increments. Do listen to your body and stop any activity causing great pain or making you dizzy or lightheaded.

Always get medical clearance from your physician before starting a new exercise regimen. Once you are cleared, plan your exercise schedule and make it a habit. Then, simply enjoy the physical and mental benefits of exercise!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you exercise regularly? Have you noticed an improved mood when you exercise? Does exercise relieve your overall pain? What type of exercises do you enjoy?

My very friendly next-door neighbours moved back to the US. In many ways, it was not a surprise, as they were always going to be visitors in London – here because of the husband’s job. Yet it came as both a shock and a loss.

Perhaps I am not alone in this position.

The Role of Neighbours

The role of neighbours in our lives is an interesting one. They may become good friends, of course, but often – however friendly you are with them – there is a certain amicable distance.

You meet on the doorstep when putting out the trash or even stop in the street for a chat when out shopping.

I have neighbours with whom I can have lengthy discussions about the schooling of our grandchildren or the state of the world. Such talks can be so engrossing that my husband begins to worry what happened to me when I had only popped out for some milk.

You also do all sorts of small things for one another, like taking in packages or offering the proverbial cup of sugar. Perhaps you occasionally water a garden or keep an eye on the cat.

The Importance of Neighbours

It might be said that neighbours now substitute for what the larger family traditionally did as a matter of course.

When extended families used to live near each other (or, indeed, with each other), it would often be the older generation who would come to the rescue when there was a problem.

As I have written in my book about grandmothers, this can still happen, but often people simply live too far away.

We, for instance, often step in for a 15-minute babysit when a neighbour with three kids has one child suddenly down with the flu and needs to get the others to school.

Although these little niceties are small, they make life so much richer. Not to mention easier. You may not see the neighbours all that much or you may see them often, but you feel more comfortable knowing they are around.

Getting to Know Your Neighbours

Big cities are famous for not being very friendly places, with people feeling lonely in the midst of a large population.

This may be true for many, but you may be surprised that a lot of people do get to know their neighbours. In some countries, this is easy, with very little required for people to break the ice.

In the UK, with its tradition of people keeping to themselves, it can be more difficult. Children are a great enabler of friendliness. I certainly met some of our neighbours through our children and, now, through our grandchildren. I believe dogs serve much the same purpose.

Some places seem to have a tradition of neighbourhood friendliness. I know of one family who, on the day of moving in to their new house, were greeted by a bottle of wine and a friendly note from those living nearby.

Unfriendly Neighbours

Not everyone has friendly neighbours, of course. This is often a nightmare scenario. You hear shouting, or worse, and don’t know what to do. They have loud parties or don’t clean up their rubbish, and it all affects your quality of life.

Sometimes, they are doing nothing more than enjoying their garden, talking to friends well into the night or, as we used to experience, barbecuing fish. You can’t really complain, but you wish they wouldn’t do it.

Years ago, we had some very unfriendly neighbours who threw rubbish over our common fence and once threw a brick through our window. We called in the police, who claimed that there was little they could do. We moved soon after.

Moving Away

There are many things we may take for granted until they are gone. One of these, in my view, is friendly neighbours. If you have lived in the same place for a long time, you know them quite well. And you know you can ask them for help (and are happy to reciprocate).

If they move, you will miss them.

And if you want to move, it does make you stop and think. As we are at the age of down-sizing, we have begun to consider the road ahead. There are numerous pros and cons, and it is an easy decision to put off.

But I realised that I felt strongly that one of the ‘pulls’ to staying put was the existence of so many people in my road who would help us if we needed it. This can be hard to establish in a new place. It certainly gave us pause.

We Like to Know They Are There

Years ago, I was designing a questionnaire on levels of involvement among members of patient support groups. It was easy to specify committee membership or frequency of meeting attendance, but I felt there was something more passive but subtle.

I came up with “I don’t attend my local group often, but I like to know it is there.”

Bingo; that was ticked more than anything else.

Afterwards, I thought this is a category that comes up in life quite often – the things we don’t use actively, but we are very pleased to know that they are there.

Good neighbours come under this heading.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you know your neighbours? Do you do neighbourly things for them and they for you? Are your neighbours important to you?

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In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it’s easy to lose sight of our own needs and values. We often find ourselves compromising on our dreams, desires, and even our true selves, just to meet external expectations or maintain harmony in relationships.

When it comes to personal integrity and staying true to oneself, compromising should never be an option. Upholding your values, beliefs, and principles is essential for maintaining self-respect, building strong relationships, and achieving long-term happiness.

But Are You Compromising Yourself?

Are you sacrificing your own happiness and authenticity for the sake of others?

Compromising oneself can manifest in various ways. It might involve suppressing your true passions and interests, staying in toxic relationships, or neglecting self-care and personal growth. By constantly putting others’ needs before your own, you may experience a gradual erosion of your identity and a sense of dissatisfaction.

However, it’s never too late to break free from this pattern and reclaim your authentic self.

Here are several easy ways to break free of your compromising pattern:

Reflect on Your Values

Take time to identify your core values and beliefs. Understand what truly matters to you and align your choices and actions accordingly.

Prioritize Self-Care

Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Nourish your physical, mental, and emotional well-being through activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

Set Boundaries

Learn to say “no” when necessary and establish healthy boundaries in your relationships. Respect your own limits and communicate them assertively. Saying “no” is not easy; however, the boundaries you set teach people how to treat YOU.

Pursue Your Passions

Rediscover your passions and interests and make time to pursue them. Engage in activities that ignite your enthusiasm and allow you to express your true self.

Seek Support

Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or a mentor who can encourage and guide you on your journey of self-discovery. Having a life coach helps brainstorm and bounce ideas, also gives you a safe space to vent and explore emotions and so much more.

Self-Respect

Compromising your values erodes your self-respect. When you go against what you believe in or engage in actions that contradict your principles, you undermine your own sense of worth. Maintaining your integrity allows you to look in the mirror with pride and self-assurance.

Long-Term Fulfillment

Living a life aligned with your values and integrity ultimately leads to long-term fulfillment. When you honor your core beliefs, you make choices that reflect your true desires and aspirations. This sense of fulfillment and contentment cannot be achieved by compromising yourself.

Remember, compromising yourself may seem like an easy path, but it ultimately hinders your personal growth and fulfillment. Embrace your uniqueness, honor your needs, and live life on your own terms. You deserve to be true to yourself and experience genuine happiness. We tend to take our short lives for granted and live trying to please others thinking that pleasing ourselves is selfish. There is a big difference between being selfish and taking care of yourself.

I am a big fan of setting the boundaries and am always teaching my clients to do the same. Just like children need boundaries to teach them and give them structure to learn and grow, so it is with adults. Especially in relationships, if boundaries are not established, then people do not know they are mistreating others.

When you compromise, who is benefiting and who isn’t?

Be true to yourself and your morals and stick to your beliefs. Life is too short to be unhappy and unwell.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

In what ways have you compromised with yourself in the past year? Have you found means to break free of these unhelpful habits? What tips do you have for others in your situation?

Women are more likely to get dementia, more likely to be family caregivers, and more likely to be working in one of the facilities that supports families and those affected. It’s a big issue for us.

To be honest, worrying will get you nowhere, and might even make things worse. The best thing is to concentrate on what you can practically do to ward off dementia.

What Can You Do to Help Someone with Dementia?

If dementia is affecting someone in your family, you can make a difference with lifestyle changes. This includes increasing exercise, keeping well hydrated, eating the right food and keeping active socially and mentally. There is lots of advice on how to help with the dementia journey.

Many people are unaware that there are things you can do to change the environment that will make a big difference. Here are my five top tips for things you can do at home.

Change as Little as Possible

People with memory problems seem to lose recent memories first. If you change color schemes and move furniture about, the person might seem pleased. But the next day when they wake up they might forget that they agreed to it, and that will cause agitation and distress. Leave well alone if the person is used to their environment.

Maximize the Light

People with dementia are usually older so they need more light just to see. All of us notice this with the passing years. You need a brighter light to read or thread a needle. If you have dementia you can’t remember where things are, and so being able to see them makes a huge difference.

Get more lamps in the room, and put brighter bulbs in them. Open drapes really wide so that light can come in. Cut down foliage from around windows and clean them.

Get Rid of Trip Hazards

I did say “don’t change anything” because of the risk of causing confusion. But to be honest, sometimes it is worthwhile. Anything that stops a person going into hospital is good. Hospitals are really bad for people with dementia.

Cut Down the Noise

For someone with dementia, too much noise is as disabling as a stairway would be for a person in a wheelchair. It stops them in their tracks. The brain effects of dementia make it hard to concentrate, or to separate out the background sounds that we used to be able to ignore. That makes listening and understanding even harder.

Leverage Technology

Remember that there is a lot of home technology that can help with entertainment and for safety. Facetime and Facebook can transform a person’s life by bringing friends and family into the home without the need to go out and about. Of course getting out is really important, but if there are days when it is hard because of weather or availability of transport, you can have fun on screen.

These are simple affordable changes that you can make in your own home. Some of these ideas can be seen on a website designed by architects who work with academics on dementia friendly designs.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

If you are a care partner helping someone with dementia, what lifestyle or environmental changes have worked for you? What advice would you give to a woman in our community who is about to take on the role of a dementia or Alzheimer’s caregiver?