Month: September 2023

If you were asked to describe your authentic self, what words or descriptions would you use?

At first glance, this may seem simple to answer.

But what if your authentic self goes beyond your name, age, marital status, what your profession currently is or used to be, or even what you do for fun?

What gets in the way of knowing and embracing your authentic self are pre-determined categories and pre-imposed definitions about who you are that shaped your sense of value and self-worth.

Now, here we are, 60 and over, and I wonder how many of us truly have an idea of who or what our authentic self is.

I know for myself that I didn’t start getting a sense of who my authentic self is until the last 10 to 15 years. Knowing more of who I truly am remains a work in progress to this very day.

To help you get a better sense of who your authentic self is, I am going to share what it means to “Embrace Your Authentic Self.” This is the fifth of a six-part series titled, “5 Simple Steps to Being What It Is We Seek.”

Sacrificing Our Authentic Self

Most of our generation were not raised or educated early on to develop a healthy relationship with our authentic self.

Not surprisingly, as we became adults, other people’s opinions about us and the value of our accomplishments served as benchmarks for our place in the world. In spite of this, each of us did our best to be authentic.

But is it possible in our efforts to be loved, accepted, and valued, we lost track of who we truly are? To better answer that, let’s look at what it meant for many of us to be authentic during the era we grew up in.

Whether we were struggling or succeeding, to get our desires met likely placed us in environments that demanded we sacrifice our authentic self. This sacrifice was made in order to be someone else’s version of who they wanted or needed us to be.

This sacrifice was acceptable for two reasons.

1. If you got what you desired the sacrifice was worth it.
2. If you had to behave in a certain way, talk a certain way and dress in a specific way to be loved, accepted, and valued, it felt like you were being authentic.

While all of this may have seemed normal, deep down we knew that it is not natural.

How do we begin to reverse the effects of this today?

The answer comes down to getting clear on what voice are you under the influence of when you have a desire to improve any part of your life after 60.

Listening to the Voices in Your Head

If you are like most people, the voice you have been listening to for a majority of your life is what psychologists refer to as your negative introject. Another name it goes by is your inner critic.

Your inner critic’s voice speaks through a fixed mindset based on fear, scarcity, and unworthiness. It creates resistance to positive change and will conjure up reasons why you can’t be, do, and have what you desire.

The voice of your authentic self is based on unconditional love. It encourages you to have your deepest desires met and supports positive changes.

Your authentic self guides you through life with a growth mindset. This means your mind and heart are open to new things.

Your authentic self also encourages you to use the power of your childhood imagination to be curious and explore new ways to enjoy life. Therefore, the more you trust and embrace your authentic self the easier and more abundant life becomes.

Overcoming the Four Big Obstacles

Listening to and trusting your authentic self seems like a no-brainer. Why is it so difficult to do?

Here are four big obstacles to embracing your true, authentic self:

1. Believing you must gain the approval of other people to have your desires fulfilled.
2. Believing you must serve and meet other people’s needs before your own.
3. Worrying about the future or endlessly repeating past stories of sadness, anger, and resentment.
4. Wanting your desires to materialize, but believing you are not worthy of them.

Know How to Live

To overcome these obstacles requires less time worrying about what you don’t have and more time embracing the authentic part of you who knows you are worthy of your desires.

When you feel any doubt creeping up, remind yourself that as doors to your past are closed, a new door to create the life of your dreams after 60 opens. Trust you are ready to walk through that door.

As poet Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe once wrote: “As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”

In the next article and video of this series for Sixty and Me, we will focus on step five of being what it is you seek, “Play with Your Desires.”

In the meantime, join me in the video where I will share additional insights on embracing your authentic self, and I will guide you through three journal prompts.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you found your authentic self? Through what practices? Do you know how to live as a result of finding your authentic self? Which of the four obstacles have you battled against?

“Oh, the places you’ll go.” —Dr. Seuss

Are you seeking adventure in your life but are
not sure how to find what may fit you best? One of the rewards of getting older
is we have more time, expendable income, and confidence about what we want. Best
of all, we can enjoy exploration and receive many health benefits at the same
time.

The trend today in tourism is the demand for
“experiential travel” which means to be more authentic, immersed in culture,
active, and adventurous.

Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone by
adding a little adventure to your trip can improve your mood, keep you sharp,
boost your self-confidence, strengthen your immune system, and help you cope
better with life challenges. Traveling can help with everyday life stress and
teach you to relax.

What Does Adventure
Travel Mean?

Adventure travel has a different meaning for each
individual. You may believe getting out of your comfort zone qualifies as
adventure. That idea can include anything from experiencing a different culture
to extreme sports.

To someone else it can mean avoiding the
touristy places. Another person’s adventure can have a spiritual or changed
life meaning.

How Do I Know I’m
Ready?

Your type of adventure should be based on your fitness level more than your age. For example, you may be in good condition to walk through cities, visit museums, etc., but need more endurance for kayaking, running, or hiking.

If a certain trip on your bucket list requires
a higher fitness level than your current one, consult with trainers and medical
authorities who can evaluate what steps you need to take to be in shape and
ready to accomplish the trip.

Where to Find
Adventure

Adventure can be as easy as exploring a new city or national park. Perhaps you want to go a little further and experience other cultures and lifestyles or visit a different country.

Maybe you have dreamed of a big adventure to
push the limits by climbing a mountain, trekking across country, or cycling
long distance. A wide variety of choices are available if you’re ready to find
the right fit for you.

Check Out the Options

Many organizations offer excursions ranging in
effort from easy to strenuous. All the details of the trip can be handled for
you, or you can choose options within the itinerary. It’s up to you and your
preferences.

Once you find an area of interest you can
research online the available options to see what will work best for you.

You Don’t Have to Go
Alone

If you enjoy meeting new people and traveling
with others in your age group, look for companies that cater to women over 50.

The advantages to traveling with a group include
planned excursions and guides. By traveling with a group of like-minded people
you can create new friendships, feel safer, and share the fun.

Fitness Adventures

If you are looking for a trip that requires
physical activity, check out what training you might need.

For example, if you want to do a long-distance
race in another part of the country or overseas, you can investigate a
charitable organization that will help train you and arrange transportation
while you fundraise for them.

If you want to climb a mountain, you will need
to research the best company to hire and what they will expect you to
accomplish during the trip so you can train. If you are going on a cycling trip
that includes steep grades you need to be aware and build the fitness needed.

All these types of travel are available for a
variety of physical levels. Learn what you want to do so you can prepare and
make the experience the best of your life.

The great outdoors is a wonderful place to
find adventure. Safaris, white water rafting, camping, and backpacking can open
your world to a new appreciation for nature. There are many options based on strain
and length of time.

Try a new experience and then work up to a
longer, more intense one. For example, you might hike the Appalachian Trail for
a day, a week, or the entire 2,200 miles.

A safari can include wilderness day trips with
luxury lodges in the evenings or you can commit to a rustic tent after a day in
the savanna. The best part is, you have choices and can grow and take your
adventurous side to a new level.

Check Out What Is
Close to Home

Don’t forget to explore the treasures in your
own backyard. We often think we must travel to distant lands to seek adventure.
But consider what is accessible and not too far away.

First look at the public parks in your area
and the tourist attractions. Next, explore the city’s museums or other public
buildings. Research what makes your town and surrounding area special and why
others come to visit.

Adventure Giving
Back

Finally, if you are looking for a deeper involvement, find volunteer opportunities. This can be a way to share your knowledge, time, and skills with others. There are opportunities throughout the world to help and teach others while you experience a new culture.

Whatever you choose, you can expand your
knowledge, make new friends, and enjoy additional health benefits – all while staying out of your comfort zone.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What do you think about adventure travel? Have
you done it? Where have you gone to seek adventure? Where would you like to go
next? Please share your thoughts with our community.

I can still remember how excited I was when I got my driving license. In addition to giving me an enormous sense of pride and independence, it also was tangible proof that I was now really a “grown up” with all the rights and privileges that came with it.

It meant I no longer had to ask my parents or friends for a ride, that I had true mobility for the first time in my life and that my world had expanded beyond my neighborhood. It was a true rite of passage.

So, it’s not a surprise that for us boomers, the idea of not being able to drive as well as we used to, or not being able to drive at all, can be terrifying. It means reversing everything we gained when we first started to drive.

Rather than being able to drive whenever and wherever we want, we may need to start limiting our driving to the daytime. Or we may start avoiding things that we used to do with ease, such as freeway driving or left turns (which, to be honest, I never liked to begin with).

Of course, the most dreaded outcome is “the talk” with our kids and family where they tell us we should not be driving at all, which makes us feel stranded and totally dependent on others. Psychologically, it’s yet another one of those “rites of passage” but one that tells us we are getting older.

That our driving ability decreases with age is not something we should take lightly or try to rationalize away since the statistics are sobering.

Our risk for being injured and killed in a motor vehicle accident increases with age. A recent study showed that nearly 6,000 seniors were killed and 220,000 injured in traffic accidents in one year.

While we can’t avoid getting older, the good news is that there is a lot we can do to minimize the impact of aging on our ability to drive safely. Here are some of the key things that happen to our bodies that can affect our driving and what we can do about them:

Our Eyes

As most of us have probably experienced by now, our eyesight changes as we get older. There is, perhaps, nothing more critical to safe driving than being able to see pedestrians, traffic signals and directional signs as well as the traffic situation around us.

We may be more or less sensitive to sun and glare as well as oncoming headlights. As boomers, it can take our eyes up to eight times longer to regain normal vision after exposure to bright light than someone in their teens.

Moreover, our vision may not be as sharp at night as it once was. Also, it may take a longer time for us to change focus from, let’s say, the road to the speedometer and back.

The two most common conditions that can impact our eyesight are cataracts and macular degeneration. Macular degeneration can reduce our ability to read, drive, recognize faces or colors and see detail.

The good news is that you can reduce your chances of suffering from macular degeneration by making sure you are getting enough vitamin D. There is even better news: vitamin D is all around us in sunshine, fatty fishes such salmon, egg yolks and fortified dairy products and cereals.

Even though cataract surgery has become so commonplace that we view it as routine, cataracts that have not gotten to the point where you need surgery can still reduce your visual acuity and impact your driving ability.

One thing you can do to minimize your risk for developing cataracts is talking with your doctor about the possible impact any statins you may be taking could be affecting your eyes. Recent research is showing that these drugs, which are game-changers in controlling cholesterol, can also increase cataract risk.

Our Hearing

Unfortunately, most of us tend to overlook our hearing, but it is a very important part of safe driving. Imagine not being able to hear sirens or honking horns trying to warn us of something.

To give you an idea of how widespread this problem is, hearing loss is the third most common health problem in the U.S., and more than a third of boomers who have reached 65 have it to some degree.

Various studies confirm that hearing loss and poor nutrition go hand in hand. Diets high in cholesterol, sugar and carbohydrates can affect your hearing. In addition to limiting your intake of these three, you also need to make sure you are getting enough vitamin B12 and folic acid in your diet.

Since free radicals can also impact your hearing, make sure you are getting enough antioxidants such as Omega 3 and vitamin A. You can find these in green leafy vegetables, bananas and beans.

Our Memory and Cognitive Ability

As we get older, it takes us boomers a little longer to tap into our extensive memory banks to find what we are looking for (this accounts for the “I had it on the tip of my tongue” moments we all have). It also may take us a little longer to react to what is going on around us as our reflex times get a little slower.

Both of these issues could impact our driving ability. For example, we may miss an exit that we have used a thousand times or perhaps step on the gas when we meant to step on the brake. It also may be more difficult to divide our attention between the multiple tasks that driving requires.

Sometimes we may need to turn off the radio to help us concentrate or not be as distracted if you are looking for an address or trying to follow the GPS.

You can take some proactive steps to protect your memory and your other nervous system functions by making sure you are getting enough vitamin B12. This vitamin has enormous benefits for your brain function, including your memory. You can get it in foods such as beef, fish and dairy products.

You should also consider liberally using blueberries in your diet (they go great with oatmeal, for example) since research is showing that blueberries may be a superfood for both your brain and your memory. Studies also show that blueberries may improve cognitive and memory skills in older adults.

Our Mobility

Take steps to keep your muscles fit and to stay flexible. If you don’t, it eventually will get more challenging to do such things as turn your head to check for traffic, quickly move your foot from the gas pedal to the brake or make a quick turn.

You can address mobility issues by being as physically active as possible and exercising in moderation. Even 15 minutes of walking a day is beneficial. You can also consider taking some yoga or stretching classes. Not only will you be helping your body but you can also make some new friends!

You should also consider having your nutrient levels checked to ensure your vitamin D and vitamin C levels are where they should be. You can also talk with your doctor about natural supplements such as glucosamine and chondroitin, MSM and SAM-e.

Finally, be sure you are getting enough sleep and talk with your doctor about the medications you are taking to see if any of their side effects could impact your driving ability.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you think that older drivers are really more dangerous on the road than our younger counterparts? What are you doing to keep your driving skills sharp? Have you ever had your driving ability evaluated? If so, what were the results and what did you do? What concerns do you have about aging and driving? Tell us about it. Please join the conversation.

It occurs to me that women from all around the world will be reading this article, which is why I realize that life experience in different countries is so relevant in its diversity. How fascinating it would be to sit in one room with a baby boomer from each country, and exchange, share, compare and learn from each other.

Alas the reality of that happening is quite remote, so let me get the ball rolling, and maybe you can chip in with your point of view via the comments section below.

Then 

How I nourished my soul through the decades is quite different to how it is now in my seventh decade. My teens were all about trying to be a dedicated student who endeavored to achieve good grades, but I was equally keen to nurture the rebel side of me, too: I was torn between being somewhat of a goody two shoes at home, and cutting my teeth on experimenting with “forbidden fruits” outside those confines.

This led to some confusion on my part as, indeed, is typical of teenage years anywhere. My coping mechanism was my love of music and when I look back, I realize that music is the backbone that has nourished my soul through every single decade.

My 20s became an extravaganza of travel, cruising around the world with my work, and there was no greater opportunity to nourish my soul than by learning about different cultures in their own unique environments. I was beyond fulfilled.

My 30s were dedicated to my first husband, my marriage, building a new business. I was leading a more “responsible” life now. Not entirely unusual as, after all, this is a normal time to start a family, although children were not to be a part of my destiny.

However, life was good, and material possessions probably defined how I nourished my soul: lovely home, top of the range car, designer clothes, high end restaurants. In retrospect, it all seems rather superficial now.

Most of my 40s were difficult. Between a divorce, losing my father, my brother, my mother, and a toxic relationship that lasted way longer than it should have, this was by far my toughest decade. Worst of all is that I completely forgot the art of nourishing my soul. I’m so grateful that music faithfully came to my rescue, without me even realizing it.

My 50s were somewhat of a rebirth in finding my old self. I met my second husband, and he was so kind and caring towards me. I had the insight to acknowledge that I had not been nurturing myself for the longest time, so I set out to rectify that and I’m happy to report I came back with a vengeance, mastering the art of nourishing my soul once again.

However, my version of how to do this had changed; material possessions seemed rather unimportant, and travel was beginning to lose its luster. A shift towards the simpler things in life and contentment within my relationship were far more compelling.

Now

Sadly, my second marriage had run its course by my early 60s, but being a single woman again seems to have had a profound and heightened effect on how I nourish my soul. My physical, emotional and spiritual well-being are firing on all cylinders, and these days all my senses feel super charged; everything seems to be fulfilling me.

The pull of the ocean is ever present (as a water sign this seems logical), my eyes are open to aromas and the color of flowers with a more vivid lens. I am finding much joy from books and poetry. I am treating my body more like the temple it should be.

I am reaping the benefits of rekindling long-term friendships that have sat too long on the back burner, I am sitting in reflective silence more often and identifying those things that move me so that I may make a conscious effort to incorporate them into my daily life.

All has not been a bed of roses since my divorce, but as is well documented, we need to move through many convoluted and difficult life changes to reach the other side. I think we all process self-love in different ways, and that’s perfectly fine, but I encourage you to find a path to your own place of bliss someway, somehow.

I am taking time to smell the roses, be ever present in the moment, nourish my soul more than I ever have done, and it feels really, really good. I guess practice makes perfect.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you ever consciously think about the need to nourish your soul? How do you nourish your soul? Has your version of being kind to yourself changed over the years?

As we gracefully navigate through the golden years of life, one thing becomes increasingly important: maintaining a strong and healthy body.

For many of us, back pain can become an unfortunate companion that hinders daily activities and limits enjoyment. But fear not! There’s a low-impact solution that doesn’t involve endless hours in the gym or invasive procedures. Welcome to the world of Pilates – a gentle yet incredibly effective way to alleviate back pain and develop a stronger spine. Plus, in this digital age, you can enjoy Pilates from the comfort of your home through online classes.

Understanding Back Pain in Seniors

Back pain is a common concern for seniors, with causes ranging from age-related wear and tear to issues like osteoporosis and muscle imbalances. The good news is that it’s never too late to address these concerns.

Pilates, a low-impact exercise regimen, offers a holistic approach to targeting and easing back pain. It focuses on strengthening core muscles, improving flexibility, and enhancing overall body alignment. This can lead to reduced pain, increased mobility, and a greater sense of well-being.

Why Pilates?

Unlike high-impact workouts, Pilates is gentle on the joints while delivering powerful results. It’s a mind-body exercise method that emphasizes controlled movements and breath awareness. This makes it particularly suitable for seniors, as it reduces the risk of injury and strains that can be associated with more intense exercise routines.

Pilates targets key muscle groups that play a crucial role in maintaining a healthy back – the core muscles, including the abdominals, lower back, and pelvic floor. Strengthening these muscles helps improve posture, and support the spine, ultimately alleviating back pain and preventing future discomfort.

Embracing Online Pilates Classes

In today’s digital age, you don’t need to venture out to a physical Pilates studio to reap its benefits. Online Pilates classes have gained tremendous popularity and for all the right reasons. These classes offer the convenience of participating from your living room, eliminating the need to commute and adhere to someone else’s schedule.

We often appreciate the flexibility that online classes provide. You can choose the pace that suits you best and opt for classes specifically designed for your age group. Or choose to pause, skip or repeat your favourite classes! Plus, the variety of class lengths and styles allows you to tailor your practice to your personal preferences and physical capabilities.

Starting Your Pilates Journey

If you’re new to Pilates, it’s essential to start slow and choose classes that cater to beginners or seniors. This ensures that you build a solid foundation and avoid any unnecessary strain. Pilates exercises can be modified to accommodate different fitness levels and physical conditions, ultimately making it an inclusive practice for everyone.

Before you embark on your Pilates journey, it’s a good idea to consult your healthcare provider, especially if you have existing medical conditions or concerns. While Pilates is generally safe for most seniors, personalized guidance from a healthcare professional can ensure that you’re making the best choices for your individual needs.

Embarking on a Pilates journey not only relieves back pain but also empowers women in numerous ways.

As you gradually progress and notice improvements in your flexibility, posture, and strength, you’ll likely experience a boost in confidence. I have seen it for myself, as a Certified Pilates Instructor. Women start living with vitality and energy after starting a regular Pilates practice. It builds strength and confidence in your body which allows you to live life to the fullest!

The sense of accomplishment that comes with conquering new Pilates poses and mastering movements can be incredibly rewarding.

Moreover, Pilates encourages mindfulness and body awareness. The focus on controlled breathing and precise movements cultivates a deeper connection between your mind and body, promoting relaxation and reducing stress – something we can all benefit from, no matter our age.

Pilates is a gentle yet powerful tool that senior women can utilize to combat back pain and enhance overall well-being. With the accessibility of online classes, there’s no need to let physical limitations hold you back. Remember, it’s never too late to invest in your health and quality of life.

By embracing the transformative benefits of Pilates, you’re not just strengthening your spine; you’re embracing a vibrant and active lifestyle that empowers you to make the most of every day. So, roll out your mat, take a deep breath, and embark on a journey to a stronger, pain-free back through the art of Pilates. Your body will thank you.

Looking for a taste of online Pilates – check out my Instagram page where I share gentle low impact Pilates flows you can squeeze in any time of day. See you on the mat!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you tried Pilates before? What was your experience like? How has Pilates helped you overcome any injuries or pain you may have had in the past?