Month: October 2023

I recently came across a powerful quote from Maya Angelou that resonated profoundly with me: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

I am very much a woman who follows her gut instincts and goes by the belief that first impressions are lasting impressions. So, when I form a positive opinion about somebody that proves to be wrong, I actually disbelieve myself – until I am ready to accept that my original perception was skewed and incorrect.

That is a humbling moment indeed, but only once the punch in the stomach has been administered can I start to move on.

The Young Me 

It was clearly never my destiny to have a “normal” long, loving marriage with one man, with children, with school meetings, with family holidays, and I take full responsibility for that. I extricated myself from an engagement at the age of 19 to a lovely young man who would have made a wonderful, devoted husband, I’m pretty sure for the rest of my life.

I couldn’t bear the thought of a life that would have been so mundane, in my opinion, and instead I happily pursued a path devoted to a career, world travel, and no children: by choice. This is me, this is who I am, this is how I function best. I am a self-confessed misfit.

I’ve been in and out of more short-term relationships than I can remember, but those long-term ones that involved two ex-husbands (I am so grateful to maintain good friendships with both of them), and a few deep and meaningful ones along the way, were rich and rewarding in many ways.

For those of you who have read my previous blogs, you will know that I wear my heart on my sleeve when I write, as I do in life. That makes me vulnerable, but again, it is who I am, and I choose not to play games, but rather to always lay my cards on the table.

The Present Day Me

So, when I analyze myself (as I often do), it is very clear that whilst I have much strength and fortitude in almost any other challenges that come my way, the major disappointments in my life have centered around the end of my relationships with men. The irony is that I have usually been the one to instigate that end.

The difference is that in my 20s, 30s, and 40s, I suffered huge inner turmoil and pain; always for months, sometimes for years, and this was self-imposed because I could not – and cannot – ever be ok with “settling.”

I simply must move on when things have run their course, whereas many will battle on, live separate lives, or simply compromise to the point of remaining in an utterly unhappy marriage because they are too scared emotionally or financially to pull out.

However, the good news (for me) is, now that I have arrived in my 60s I am so much more philosophical about life, and so the recent ending of a friendship took me two weeks to come to terms with instead of two years.

The man that I had perceived in my mind turned out not to be the person who was a reality: I had created a myth, an illusion of who I thought he was. Thus, I created my own disappointment, and that is on me, not him.

Something I pull on when my mind is in turmoil is the Serenity Prayer, and it helps me enormously: hopefully it may help you if and when needed:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I will pay heed to Ms. Angelou’s quote when I embark on my inevitable next relationship, and take comfort in knowing that I am better mentally equipped in my 60s to go with the flow, bend like a reed in the wind and bounce back up again; ever resilient.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How do you process disappointment differently in your 60s? Do you think you are better equipped to deal with relationship disappointments at your current age? How do you protect yourself against feeling vulnerable? What was a recent relationship disappointment that was unexpected for you?

If you’ve ever been asked this question, you know the answer is a resounding YES. For many of us, it’s difficult to imagine our parents on a bicycle in their 60s, 70s and even 80s. Luckily, things have changed.

We lead much more physically active lifestyles than our parents in their senior years. Now it’s quite common to see 70- and 80-year-olds on bicycles and tricycles. And they look fabulous!

Why Cycling Is a Great Sport for Seniors

Bike riding is a great option for seniors for so many reasons. First, it’s low-impact so it’s easier on our joints than many other sports, e.g., running. Cycling is an excellent cardiovascular exercise as it gets our heart rates pumping and burns those calories, thus improving our overall fitness level.

In addition to the many health benefits, cycling can also reduce our physiological age.

A New York Times article referencing a 2015 British study of recreational bicyclists ages 55 to 79 stated that “… the cyclists did not show their age. On almost all measures, their physical functioning remained fairly stable across the decades and was much closer to that of young adults than of people their age.”

An AARP article reports: “evidence is mounting that moderate physical activity such as biking can prevent a host of ailments – including diabetes, Alzheimer’s, cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure and colon cancer – in people of all ages by at least 40 percent.”

While we were busy raising families and building careers, many of us left our old bikes in garages or attics rusting away. The good news is that, in most cases, it’s not too late to get started again.

How to Get Back on the Saddle

You may want to first check with your healthcare professional to see if bike riding is a good fit for you. If it’s a safe option, why not give it a go again?

Many seniors who are bike riding today had not ridden for 15 or 20 years. In fact, I ride with many cyclists who did not start riding again until they retired to Florida.

Read 10 BIKEABLE CITIES IN THE USA FOR WOMEN OVER 50.

Another group I occasionally ride with consists of 70- and 80-year-olds who ride 40 miles three times a week, stopping along the way for breakfast. One woman I spoke with, Sylvia Halpern, did not start cycling again until age 46 and now tours the country solo on her trike.

Once you pull your old bicycle out again, you’ll want to get it checked by your local bike shop to see if it’s salvageable. You want your bike to be safe and in excellent working condition before riding. If your bike is quite old, you may want to rent a bike instead to see how you feel riding again.

Today, there are many new bike options available. Bicycles now are much lighter in weight, handle better and have many more gears to make pedaling easier. Recumbent bikes and trikes are other options for you.

I’m a huge fan of recumbent trikes and find them to be the safest and most comfortable option out there. Electric-assist bikes and trikes may also be an option if you want to ride longer distances or ease into riding.

4 Tips When Starting Cycling

Proper Bike Fit

A proper bike or trike fit is essential. Having your bike properly fit for you can make all the difference between a pain-free ride and injuries.

Getting a proper bike fit should be done at your local bike shop if possible. The correct positioning of your seat, knees and feet is critical to prevent knee pain and injury. Be sure to take the time necessary for this important step.

Start Out Slowly

If you haven’t ridden for a while, take it slow. Even if it feels fine, keep your first few rides short and easy. You’ll be working muscles you haven’t used in a while, and you may end up feeling the effect of this a day or two later.

Make sure to do a few stretches after your ride to help prevent muscle tightening.

Stay Hydrated and Energized

Make sure to bring a water bottle or two, and drink fluids before, during and after your ride to stay hydrated. Have a healthy snack before you ride and again on the ride if you need additional energy. Protein bars, bananas and nuts are excellent snacks to pack for your bike ride.

Stay Safe

Ride on a bike trail if possible to avoid automobile traffic and road distractions. Follow the trail rules to stay safe by keeping the correct side of the trail, and pull off to the side if you need to stop.

Wear bright clothing and always wear a bike helmet. If you’re riding a recumbent trike, be sure you have a flag and lights for visibility and a safe foot restraint system.

Additional Cycling Benefits

Bike riding is a great way to exercise, have fun and meet new people. There are many cycling groups you can check out or have a few friends join you for a bike ride. Cycling can be a great social experience as well as an excellent workout. It can also improve your mood and even help alleviate depression.

With a bit of practice and training, you’ll be able to ride with your grandchildren and surprise them with how fit their grandparents are.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What are your bike riding experiences? Did you give up bike riding? Have you ever considered bike riding again in your 60s? Please join the conversation and share why you do or do not ride a bike as a mature woman.

Trendy styles may come and go, but classics live forever. Women like Audrey Hepburn, Maria Shriver and Barbara Bush embody grace and elegance, not only in how they live their lives, but also in how they dress. Their polished, put-together look is one that many strive for, but few are able to achieve.

A classic dresser knows what looks good on her shape, and she repeats that look. Rather than follow this year’s “must-have’s” that will become next year’s discards, she stays with a look that lasts.

If you shy away from fashions that change every year, and you prefer a bit more toned-down, ageless look, you’ll need to be sure you own these nine important pieces. From accessories to garments to shoes, these will become your go-to items that will create a classic look that never goes out of style.

White Shirt

A wardrobe essential that can be easily dressed up or down is the white linen shirt. Today’s linen is soft and beautiful, and you can even purchase a wrinkle-free version, eliminating the need for ironing. Even if you have avoided linen before, there’s no reason to run from this gorgeous fabric any longer.

Navy Blue Blazer

A classic blazer, preferably in navy blue, looks great with a skirt, pants or over a dress. Purchase one from a good maker, and it will last you years. Rather than spending money on trends that come and go, this will be wearable forever.

Silk Scarf

A beautiful silk scarf is a flattering way to dress up any outfit. Just wrapping it around your neck and feeling the gorgeous material against your skin is enough to make you smile.

Penny Loafers

Penny loafers go back generations, but they are still in vogue among those who prefer the classics. They can be worn with pants, jeans or a skirt, and they never go out of style.

Leather Belt

A leather belt of good quality finishes off an outfit. Nothing looks worse than a pair of pants with belt loops and no belt. Belts have come way down in price, and every department store has them. Opt for brown or black and be sure the buckle is not too large.

Jeans

A pair of good denim jeans in blue, straight leg, nicely fitted but not tight, will flatter every figure. Stay away from sequins, studs, rips and any other embellishments. To press or not to press? A crease down the middle of the leg shows you care enough to look your very best.

Read JEANS FOR OLDER WOMEN? WHY EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US NEEDS A PAIR!

Handbag or Purse

Handbag styles come and go, but certain ones are timeless. Watch your friends buy bag after bag, following whatever designer is trendy, but love your own leather purse like an old friend. Finding one you like can be a challenge but keep looking until the right one appears.

Go with a classic color like camel, brown or black, and keep the lines simple. Avoid patterns and stay with solid leather. If you are offended by owning a real leather bag, pleather can have the same look and feel, without the guilt.

Read 8 STYLISH VEGAN HANDBAGS FOR WOMEN OVER 50.

Coat or Jacket

Outerwear is essential, and a classy-dresser will own a trench coat or anorak in an earth tone for those days when the weather is cooler or questionable. Avoid too many embellishments and purchase a quality garment for years of use.

Jewelry

Quality jewelry is expensive, but well worth the price. A good gold bangle, a pretty silver chain and hoops or studs will polish any outfit. Stay away from large pieces, especially earrings. Dainty and demure is a classic look.

With these basic pieces in your closet, you are on your way to effortless dressing and a go-to look that will remain timeless and elegant.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you have a special piece that you consider a classic or a must-have? What kind of style are you going for after 60? Please share with our readers!

Do you find yourself laughing every day? And by ‘laughing’ I’m not referring to the occasional chuckle or half-hearted smile. I’m talking about laughing to the point where your cheeks hurt. The kind of laughter where you feel your abs got the workout of your life the next day.

If you haven’t enjoyed that level of laughter on a daily basis, you are not alone.

I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t feel better from laughing. But I sure have met a lot of people in my life who rarely laugh.

What Could Make Someone Avoid Laughing?

Could it be that painful experiences from our past, such as the way we were raised and educated, influence how often we laugh as adults? And what exactly are the healing and uplifting benefits of laughter, especially for us who are 60 and over?

In this article and the accompanying video, I will answer these questions and more as we explore “10 Life-Altering Benefits for Laughing More After 60.”

This is the second article of a new five-part series for Sixty and Me readers titled, “The Healing Power of Laughter.” Find the first article here.

The Guaranteed Cure

Trauma can come from things, including physical, emotional, and psychological abuse, loss of a loved one, and other life-altering events.

For those of us over 60, reflecting back on the experiences we’ve had throughout our lives can run the gamut of emotional highs and lows. The effects of trauma can be long-lasting and can lead to negative physical and mental health outcomes.

Of all the ways to heal trauma, laughter is a guaranteed and highly effective tool that can help us heal from our past traumas and improve our overall well-being after 60.

Health Benefits of Laughter

Laughter is a vital tool for healing trauma because it activates the body’s natural relaxation response, which reduces stress and tension in the body.

Laughter also releases endorphins, which are the body’s natural feel-good brain chemicals. Endorphins help to reduce pain, improve mood, and enhance overall well-being.

In addition to its physiological benefits, laughter also has psychological benefits.

Laughter helps to shift our perspective on our problems, providing a more lighthearted approach to life’s challenges. When we’re able to laugh at our problems, we’re better able to cope with stress and move forward with confidence.

But don’t just take my word for it.

Research studies from the International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, Journal of Holistic Nursing, and the Journal of Aging Research, among many others, have shown that laughter can have various health benefits for all of us, including, but not limited to:

• Improved mood
• Reduced stress
• Enhanced immune function
• Reduced pain
• Improved sleep
• Enhanced social connections

10 Life-Altering Benefits of Laughter

Clearly, laughter is one of our most natural and enjoyable forms of human expression, not to mention a reliable tool for healing trauma. Let’s now look a bit closer at just how life-altering laughter is.

Reduces Stress

Laughter has been shown to reduce stress hormones in the body, which can benefit women over 60 who may be dealing with age-related stressors such as health issues or financial concerns.

Boosts Immune System

Laughter has been shown to boost the immune system, which can help women over 60 stay healthy and prevent illnesses.

Improves Mood

Laughter can improve mood and help alleviate symptoms of depression, which may be more prevalent in women over 60.

Enhances Social Connections

Laughter can help build your social connections and improve relationships. Both of which are important for women over 60 who may be experiencing feelings of isolation.

Relieves Pain

Laughter has been shown to release endorphins, which can help relieve pain and improve overall well-being.

Increases Creativity

Laughter can stimulate the brain and increase creativity, which can benefit women over 60 who might be looking to start new hobbies or pursue new interests.

Improves Sleep

Laughter has been shown to improve sleep quality, an essential element for those who may experience sleep disturbances after 60.

Boosts Energy

Laughter can increase your energy levels and help combat feelings of fatigue.

Improves Memory

Laughter improves memory and cognitive function. This is important for anyone experiencing age-related memory decline.

Improves Overall Well-Being

Laughter has numerous benefits for your well-being, including reduced stress, improved mood, and enhancing social connections.

Laughter is more than just something you do when you are having fun. It is a powerful and effective tool for improving physical, emotional, and mental health.

Whatever you are facing in life after 60, remember, it’s never too late to start laughing.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you ever thought to use laughter as a tool to improve your life? Do you find yourself laughing often – or not so much? What things/situations make you laugh easily?