Month: October 2023

It was a very ordinary night. I was undertaking a very ordinary activity. I had gone into the bathroom to get my pajamas, which were hanging on the back of the door.

My mind was completely elsewhere, as minds can be when you’re doing a routine task.

Something odd caught my eye. Someone had dumped some black clothes (or a bag?) onto the base of the shower. But there are only two of us here, and we don’t wear many black clothes. And we never dump stuff in the shower.

I became uneasy about what was there – and how it got there. I approached the black bundle very gingerly.

And then it moved slightly and there were two eyes catching the light. It was a very black cat, looking at me as if I were an intruder. Not ours – we don’t own a cat.

I must admit, with some embarrassment in hindsight, I jumped and gave out a rather paltry scream. “There’s a cat in our shower,” I yelled down to my husband. He coaxed it down the stairs and out of the house.

The poor cat. It had just found a quiet place to sleep.

Neighbourhood Cats

I live in a house with a small back garden, with equivalent gardens to the right, left and back (from the parallel street). A lot of cats live in these various houses, most of which I have seen from time to time.

The weather was warm, and we keep our back door open for the fresh air. A cat could easily have come into our house.

As any cat watcher will know, cats can climb fences with the greatest of ease. They come and go as they like. They make themselves at home in any garden that takes their fancy. But they rarely go into a strange house. Or, at least, into our house.

There used to be two cats up the street who we looked after when their owner was away. We had looked after them as kittens for four weeks, and they consequently felt completely at home in our house. But that neighbour had moved six months ago, and her cats were both grey tabby cats – not jet black.

This felt very odd.

This Particular Cat

The issue might have stopped there. The cat might have scampered off to wherever it came from, and the story would end here.

But it lingered outside our house. And when we turned the lights off, it scratched at the door to be let in. We contemplated the issue, but the nights are not cold, and we didn’t know anything about this cat. It stayed outside.

And there it was in the morning, looking like it was guarding the back of our house.

We decided we should clarify the situation. Perhaps this cat was a stray. Perhaps a neighbour had been taken ill or was away. I had a vague memory that the neighbour at the back had a cat – and that she was a friend of a friend. A few phone calls later and we had all the answers.

Yes, the cat (a female named Kitty, evidently by default) belonged to a neighbour in the back of our house. She hadn’t been well, but was being perfectly well fed. No one was away.

Fine, I thought, all solved.

But the next afternoon, having forgotten the whole incident, I once again went into the bathroom to find the black bundle in our shower. And, I might add, the day after that.

I never thought I would meet a cat who was in love with a shower.

And since then, the cat comes and goes. It sits in our garden sometimes and comes inside sometimes, but we have had days with no sign of her.

I decided she was, perhaps, trying out alternative houses for size. We had a good shower, but not a lot else to recommend us.

We await future developments.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you own a cat? Does it disappear for long periods? Or do you have any connections with other cats nearby? What’s the oddest thing you’ve seen a cat do?

This year, our daughter got us started on writing the answers to some questions about our lives through a program called “Storyworth.” I know there are several versions of this service out there but basically, you get email questions weekly about various aspects of your life for family legacy purposes. And at the end of a year, it will all be compiled into a lovely book for your family. I love the idea even if I don’t love having to think about all of the questions!

First Thoughts

The title of this blog was a recent question in our Storyworth process that also made me think outside of just our family: What advice would you give your 20-year-old self?

My first thought was money advice. How does that saying go? “Most people don’t regret what they did in life as much as they regret what they didn’t do.” I find myself thinking about that more and more as I get older. It also seems to nudge me to make decisions about things a little quicker and take a few more risks as well.

Take Matters into Our Own Hands

I’m not one to dwell on negatives and prefer to look forward rather than backwards. After all, we can only change the future, not the past, right? Yet I have also come to realize that when it comes to the life skill of making wise financial decisions, our societies need us to look backwards and learn from our mistakes.

And since financial literacy is not yet prioritized like the “three R’s” (reading, writing, and arithmetic – obviously not spelling!), I believe we have to take matters into our own hands within our families and extended families.

Knowledge Is Power

I know I recently wrote about the importance of financial literacy for youth but at this “back to school” time of year, I believe it bears repeating as a good opportunity to reflect and also take action. We probably know some 20-somethings in our life. Sometimes sharing knowledge and experiences can be better accepted by that crowd from non-parents (aunts, grandmothers, friends).

Planting the Seed

Sharing stories is typically more welcome than shaking a finger and giving “advice.” Maybe you have success or failure examples you lived through related to money decisions that are worth sharing with a younger person in your life. Whether there is a teachable moment going on, a headline or news story that triggers a conversation, or you just share because you care… it doesn’t matter. Planting a seed, a thought, a resource, a tip, etc. can sometimes make all the difference for someone.

Where does one start when it comes to money and personal finances? I wrote some checklists for Parents and Youth that can provide tools, resources, and articles to help with that question. Just starting a conversation, sharing a story, and noting a few solution options might be what someone needs.

My Answer

My answer to the advice for my 20-year-old-self question would be to automate my financial life as young as possible. One of the checklists in my bundles addresses my answer: Autopilot Your Finances.

The younger we realize that taking the emotion out of several money decisions (saving, investing, spending), the sooner we can force ourselves to save for a rainy day and invest for the future by paying ourselves first. All automated. You make the decision ONCE to set up automatic transfers, and you don’t have to think about it again:

1. From your checking (after your direct deposit is received from employment) to your savings.
2. From your checking to an investment account (just like a 401k contribution but this one could be into a Roth IRA or a taxable account NOT tied to your employer).
3. From your checking to your fixed expenses (these are your NEEDS not your WANTS) like mortgage/rent, utilities, auto insurance, etc.

You Can’t Afford to NOT Do It Now

I remember rationalizing as a young mother in my 20s, that we couldn’t afford to put more money away into savings or investing. And that it would get easier and there’ll be a better time when we had bigger salaries, reduced childcare costs, better market performance, higher savings rates, yadda yadda yadda! The truth is always that you can’t afford NOT to do it now. The long-term results can be substantially different.

Just like Mark Twain used to say, “the secret to getting ahead, is getting started.” Let’s help the youth in our lives to get started. Sooner is better than later BUT, it is never too late to start either. That beauty of compounding and the advantage young people have of time on their side can be lost (or at least minimized) forever if they don’t get started. Who will you talk to soon to share your answer to this question?

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What advice would you give your 20-year-old self? How can you make that answer a positive in your life for someone else now? Have you already shared your tips with a younger person?

Do you have a favorite armchair or sofa? A cozy place to while away lazy Sunday afternoons with a juicy book, a cup of tea, and a pile of cookies. You’re not alone!

But imagine if, instead, the floor became your new best friend – offering you not only comfort but also a subtle yet powerful way to stay fit and agile as you age.

Have you ever marveled at how effortlessly children play on the ground? As we grow older, we tend to lose that natural flexibility, often without realizing it. This is where ‘floor sitting’ comes into play.

Picture yourself getting down on the floor to play with your grandchildren, working in your garden, or sitting on a picnic rug enjoying lunch outdoors. All of this is doable, and what’s more, you can keep your furniture!

Get ready to redefine aging and feel like a kid again!

What Exactly Is Floor Sitting?

Doctors have made it clear in recent years that sitting is the new smoking. Japan is well-known for its tradition of sitting and sleeping on the floor. Floor sitting is also common in Korean and Middle Eastern cultures.

However, it took a new online trend for those of us in the West to finally come around to the idea. With over 20 million views on TikTok, #floortime is gaining traction as a way to improve flexibility, posture, and overall health.

As the name suggests, floor sitting refers to the practice of sitting down on the floor. I discovered the benefits of hanging out at ground level after watching an interview with Tony Riddle, a natural lifestyle coach.

I persuaded my wife that we should give living without furniture a try, and we haven’t looked back. We still have a table and chairs for working but eating, sleeping, and relaxing all take place at floor level now.

Don’t worry! There’s no need to be that extreme to enjoy the advantages that floor sitting offers. Unless your home is especially cluttered, you’re bound to have access to plenty of floor space to give it a try.

How to Get Started

If you’ve decided to give floor sitting a try, The Joint Chiropractic has some excellent advice on how to go about it as well as which positions are safest when you’re just starting out.

In general, these are some of the things to keep in mind if it’s been a while since you sat on anything other than your sofa. For starters, your body will need some time to adjust so be patient with yourself.

Start slow, maybe with 10 to 15 minutes of floor sitting each day, and gradually increase the duration as your body gets used to it. You shouldn’t be in pain, but expect a level of discomfort. It’s the floor, after all, not a La-Z-Boy.

Make sure you support your back by leaning against a wall. As you get stronger, you’ll find you’re able to sit on the ground unsupported for longer periods. One very important consideration is ensuring you’re able to safely get down and back up again.

Sit near something sturdy that you can use to pull yourself up with, like the arm of your couch for example. If you’re unsure, it’s always advisable to check in with your health practitioner before making floor sitting a regular thing.

That being said, don’t underestimate what you’re capable of either. Doctors mean well but very often they’ll err too far on the side of caution and suggest you don’t do something because they fear you might injure yourself.

Practice caution, by all means, but also listen to your body and trust in your ability to adapt and grow stronger. I love sharing the story of Arthur Boorman, a disabled veteran, to drive this point home. If he can do it, there’s hope for us too!

The Benefits of Spending More Time on the Floor

As someone who’s always been fit and strong, I assumed I’d always be that way. Shortly after turning 50, I realized that maintaining my strength and fitness was suddenly a lot harder than it used to be.

My confidence took a knock, but then I decided to up the ante on my health protocols. Ditching our furniture and generally making life at home a lot more uncomfortable (at least by modern-day standards) has proved hugely beneficial.

Strength and Flexibility

The process of getting down and then back up from the floor naturally improves your strength and flexibility. In the beginning, I needed assistance getting up, but now I’m able to propel myself to standing using only my legs.

Start by practicing sit-to-stand exercises using a chair and then progress to the sit-to-stand longevity test when you’re feeling stronger.

Better Posture

Sitting on the floor requires engagement of your core muscles, which can lead to improved posture and reduced back pain. I’ve definitely noticed improvements in both of these areas. My lower back is strong and there’s nothing slouchy about the way I walk or sit.

Joint Health

Floor sitting can increase mobility in your hip, knee, and ankle joints, which can lead to less pain and improved joint health over time. My knees are still creaky (they were both operated on), but overall, I’ve definitely noticed an improvement in my joints.

Self-Confidence

While floor sitting provides numerous physical benefits for older folks, it also has the potential to boost self-confidence. This has certainly been the case for me. The simple act of getting up off the floor, unassisted, has made me feel so good about myself.

I suspect for men, since they have to grapple with the whole alpha male ideology on top of aging, this could be particularly appealing. (Because while self-confidence shouldn’t have an age limit, it very often feels like it does.)

Stronger Bond with Your Grandchildren

Sitting on the floor naturally puts you at the same level as children, creating space for some good old-fashioned play. I don’t have kids or grandkids, but I can imagine that this would be a great reason to engage in floor sitting.

Age in Place

All of these benefits are great, but for me, the main reason for keeping my body fit, strong, and healthy is so that I can age in place without having to modify our home.

I’m well aware that life happens, but I want to do everything in my power to get around on my own steam for as long as possible. Even if it means sitting on the floor!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What do you think about spending more time on the floor as a way to grow stronger as you age? Will you be giving it a try? Have you already tried it? What does your doctor say about floor sitting? Let us know in the comments!

Mental health issues are not uncommon as we age, and anxiety can be among the most common challenges to well-being we face as women over 60. Anxiety may occur in isolation or in conjunction with depression and cognitive decline, and it may be exacerbated by loneliness, social isolation, grief, and loss.

For those struggling with anxiety, recognizing it and the potential impact of our life circumstances on our mental health is the first step to get relief and enhance our quality of life. Understanding anxiety in women over 60 and how it may present differently for us, is equally essential to ensure we obtain a correct diagnosis and the most appropriate support and care.

Anxiety can significantly curtail our ability to truly embrace joy and to live life to its absolute fullest. Let’s cover some more important information about anxiety and then talk about the best ways for us to cope with anxiety, and ultimately, overcome it.

Frequency of Anxiety in Women Over 60

Anxiety, characterized by excessive worry and fear, is a common mental health challenge for people of all ages.

Women tend to have higher rates of most anxiety disorders than men. These may include panic disorder, agoraphobia, social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Not only are these anxiety related disorders more common in women, but they also become more prevalent as we age.

Anxiety Undermines Our Self-Confidence, Happiness, and Health

It’s essential that we recognize it when we are struggling with an anxiety related disorder. After all, there’s so much living left for us to do! And we must not settle for a life compromised by anxiety.

If you feel you or someone you know or love may be struggling with anxiety, please keep reading.

Because seeking appropriate treatment and engaging in sound mental health strategies can help women over 60 overcome anxiety and improve the quality of our life, relationships, cognition, and health.

What’s Different About Anxiety in Women Over 60?

Anxiety in women over 60 may have some distinct characteristics. It’s important for us to know how it presents so that we’re tuned into what to look out for, both mentally and physically.

Because spotting it is the first key step to recovery.

In addition to typical differences in the way women experience anxiety compared to men, there are specific factors that may impact our anxiety experience as women over 60.

Hormonal Changes

One key factor that impacts both the prevalence and nature of anxiety in women in our age group is hormonal changes associated with menopause and perimenopause. Fluctuations in hormone levels contribute to anxiety symptoms. Symptoms of anxiety, such as hot flushes, can be particularly bothersome for women who are also menopausal.

Health Issues

Aging and health issues also impact anxiety in women over 60. Chronic conditions, such as cardiovascular disease or arthritis, can increase anxiety. Fear of developing health problems or the uncertainty surrounding existing conditions can also trigger anxious thoughts or exacerbate and intensify our tendencies to be anxious.

Worry About Money

Financial concerns, especially for those living on a fixed income or with inadequate savings, can further exacerbate anxiety.

Life Transitions

Life transitions may also tip the scales towards anxiety and intensify our anxiety experience. For example, when children move away, or friends relocate in retirement, loneliness and social isolation may arise. These feelings impact mental health, and these circumstances can be what drives a tendency to worry to morph into full blown anxiety.

Various Types of Loss

Loss of a spouse, sibling or friends, or retirement from a long and active career can also contribute to feelings of grief and disconnectedness that may feed tendencies towards anxiety. These changes can also disrupt our daily routines and social dynamics, leading to feelings of uncertainty and loss.

As we encounter significant life events and changes such as these, it’s essential that we acknowledge the impact they may have on our mental health.

And as we do, it’s particularly important to give ourselves large doses of self-compassion and kindness to help cope with anxiety and to nurture our overall well-being, too.

Is it Anxiety?

Anxiety in women over 60 can manifest in various ways. Some of the symptoms are consistent with anxiety in other age groups, but some of them are especially important to look out for as a woman over 60.

Excessive Worrying

Persistent and excessive worry about everyday situations, such as health, finances, or family can lead to anxiety.

Physical Symptoms

Anxiety can cause physical symptoms such as headaches and an upset stomach. Anxiety can also escalate into panic attacks which may result in chest pain and what feels like heart palpitations.

Sleep Disturbances

Difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up too early are common symptoms of anxiety in women over 60.

Social Withdrawal

Anxiety can cause social isolation. Older women who experience anxiety may be especially prone to this and are likely to avoid social situations due to fear of embarrassment or being judged.

In addition to these symptoms of anxiety, older women may also experience weakness and nausea.

Note that several of the symptoms of anxiety are the same as symptoms of coronary distress. As important as it is to recognize anxiety when it strikes, it’s as or more important to not disregard potential symptoms of a cardiac event or stroke.

Err on the side of caution if you experience chest pains, nausea, shortness of breath or other symptoms of a heart attack. Call 911 (US & Canada), 112 (EU), 999 (UK), 000 (Australia), or the number specific for your country of residence!

Treatment Options for Anxiety in Women over 60

Though anxiety is not uncommon at any age, treatment approaches are by no means one size fits all. Thankfully, there are promising approaches and strategies that can help diminish the impact of anxiety in women over 60.

Although some treatment approaches are like those for other age groups, there are a few important provisos to keep in mind.

Consider Underlying Health Conditions

Healthcare providers must take extra care to consider any underlying health conditions. They must also be alert to potential drug interactions with existing medications.

Staying Socially Connected

Establishing and maintaining social connections, participating in community activities, and seeking support from friends, family, or support groups can diminish feelings of isolation and improve overall well-being. This strategy can be especially key to overcoming anxiety for women over 60.

Therapy

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a proven effective therapy for anxiety in older adults. It can help us to change negative thought patterns and beliefs. Impacting our mindset can yield multiple benefits beyond easing anxiety.

Medication

Anti-anxiety medication, such as benzodiazepines and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), can help reduce anxiety symptoms. But extra care should be taken when prescribing medications in women over 60.

Lifestyle Changes

As with people of any age, exercise, a healthy diet, and mindfulness practices such as yoga and meditation can help reduce anxiety symptoms. As a woman over 60, be sure to talk with your doctor before undertaking a fitness program, and pace yourself appropriately.

Overcoming Anxiety

Anxiety in women over 60 is a common mental health condition that significantly impacts quality of life. As women age, health issues, life transitions, financial concerns and hormonal changes can cause excessive worry and fear. But with proper diagnosis and treatment, anxiety in women over 60 can be managed effectively – and we owe it to ourselves to make sure that happens for each of us!

If you or someone you know is experiencing anxiety symptoms, follow the advice above and speak to a healthcare provider or mental health professional to get professional help.

Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and treatment can lead to a fulfilling and anxiety-free life.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Did you learn new information about what anxiety looks and feels like in women over 60? Do you know anyone who may benefit from this article? Will you share it with them, too? How about you, personally? Have you struggled with anxiety or are you going through a difficult time now? Please share your thoughts and questions in the comments so we can all provide support to one another!