Month: December 2023

Originally posted at: Madison LeCroy’s Tan Crochet Cover Up Pants

Originally posted at: Taylor Ann Green’s Red Tropical Print Dress

It’s hard to believe how fast this year has gone, and we are officially launching the holiday season –Hannukah, Kwanza, Christmas, New Year’s and more! Here come Lifetime and Hallmark movies with happy endings.

But, the hustle and bustle of the holidays can be happy for some, and tough for others. A recent break-up. A loss of a loved one. A lonely time for some. And of course, a happy time for others.

So, as a dating coach, my clients ask me – it this a good time of year to date?

Here are some of the tips I give them:

December Is a Festive Month to Date

In December, daters, in general, are in a happy mood. Many take time off and have more flex time. Dates can swivel from the normal drinks or lunch date to walking through a Christmas market and attending holiday parties with your date. It’s funny that the things people do this time of year they wouldn’t imagine in March – ice skating, long walks in cold weather with a smile on their face!

December Can Be Too Busy to Date

On the other hand, you may be inundated with family and friend obligations, travel, shopping and other things occupying your time and find you have not time to date. Don’t over commit – enjoy this time of year however feels best to you.

So, there’s a bit of a yin/yang in #1 and #2!

Do Attend as Many Holiday Parties as You Can

As I mentioned earlier, this is a fun time of year. If someone you dated earlier in the year invites you to a party – GO! You never know who you might meet there. It’s a wonderful time to increase your social network. In my 25+ years of coaching singles, I can’t count the number of times love bloomed at a party. So, accept as many invitations as you feel comfortable going to without overdoing it.

Last year, my client Diana (64) went as “friends” with an online date to his golf club holiday party. Wouldn’t you know it, she met an acquaintance of his and the last thing I heard it was a happy relationship.

Gift-Giving: What Should I Do?

Don’t overspend! That’s an easy answer for those of you dating someone over the 4, 5, 6-month mark, right? But what if it’s a month or two, and you’d really like to show your enjoyment and appreciation of this person?

A book by an author or on subject matter you know they’d enjoy, a scarf with their favorite team’s logo, and hey, what about a nice batch of fudge or a favorite holiday sweet you enjoy making? They all show thoughtfulness and are not over the top.

Don’t Let the Season Rush You

The holidays have a way of sweeping us along a faster pace than usual; we are more social in general, etc. But that does not mean just because you started dating a man 6 weeks ago that you must introduce him to your children and family – it’s a new relationship!

It probably feels the same to you – are you ready to meet his daughters and newborn granddaughter whom he’s so excited about? There will be plenty of time for that in the New Year if things work out.

Don’t Drink Too Much

Alcohol consumption goes up by 27% during the holidays according to Pew Research. And, who wants to be slurring words on a date – or listening to your date over imbibe?

Also read, HOW TO START 2024 ALCOHOL-FREE AND FEELING AMAZING!

Do Reflect on Your Dating and Relationship Goals

I find reflecting on one’s goals a helpful practice once or twice a year. As yourself, Am I on track? Do I know what I am looking for? Am I putting the effort in? Just some food for thought as we ring in 2024 shortly.

Happy Holidays, my friends!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you being social this holiday season? Have you thought of this: What a great time to get some fun candid photos for your online profiles in the New Year? Is dating a New Year’s resolution?

In the spirit of the holidays, I call out to individuals 55 and over to share your wish list with Santa. Not the kind of Christmas wishes and dreams we typically hope to receive from relatives and friends.

These are the gifts that city officials, tech innovators, health care professionals, housing developers, appliance manufacturers and others could design for us, the folks growing older.

Here’s a request, Santa, it’s one that several friends and I have in common: Can we please do away with the double price for singles? Living alone bears enough financial hardship on individuals, so why do we also have to stomach a heftier price for memberships, too?

It happens with gyms, local art museums and even in group memberships like AARP. The price to join for an individual is higher than what people in shared households pay.

So, please wave your magic holiday dust, dear Santa, and fix the ‘single gouge’. Since we have terms for biases such as sexism, ageism and racism, we can call this particular bias, ‘singleism.’ Maybe singles can start a revolution. Will you help us, Santa?

Now that’s off my chest, here are ‘dear Santa’ requests from others living alone across the globe who, like me, are growing older.

More Public Transport

Dear Santa, I’m well over 60, and I want more public transit and ways to get around. My doctor tells me that I cannot drive to certain medical tests, and that I need to find someone to bring me and take me home.

While I would enjoy a driver, the restriction puts me and thousands of others in a predicament since we live alone and have no one to count on for a ride. So, Santa, can you please help us follow the doctor’s orders and find a reasonable solution?

Companion Services

Dear Santa, how about a service that vets people/drivers who offer a companion service for senior citizens? The driver companion would sit in the medical office while the patient receives the treatment.

Sure, there are home care agencies and private duty nurses, but sometimes the services charge too much. Maybe you could create an app like Nextdoor – one that includes vetting, background checks and references.

And add a banking feature that tallies the hours of the time given/donated. The more hours you give, the more hours you get when you need help.

Here’s how it could work: I give Mary a ride to the doctor’s office, and I wait. Once Mary’s home, she banks my hours. The time loads into my account. When I need help, I draw on it, and either Mary or another neighbor helps me. It’s like a shared time economy.

Technology Tutors

Dear Santa, I’m a nurse. Quite often, when trained on new software, the trainer is usually 30 years younger and doesn’t get that people my age have trouble viewing computer screens. We need at least 3 things:

• Training modules integrated into the software, including audio versions for those who learn better via hearing the instructions. Additionally, we need to follow along using a physical workbook.
• Industry-wide standards for medical records software, including terminology, plus a firm future date by which all working software must meet the standard.
• Career tracks and training for computer specialists who will be working with medical software, so they have a clue what docs and nurses are doing with patients. Please, Santa, pass this on to medical software geeks.

Professional Jobs After 50

Dear Santa, we need access to professional jobs in our fields of specialty, where we are not subject to the same performance review as younger people seeking a promotion and an executive position.

The conversation needs to change from “older workers are unqualified and lacking in skills” to “older workers have excellent skills, experience and a work ethic.”

Other countries have age 55+ professional employment policies. The U.S. has nothing except people laid off at the age of 50. Please help us, Santa. There are so many needs that older individuals have.

Read more at 60 CREATIVE WAYS TO MAKE MONEY IN RETIREMENT.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What is the one challenge you face and hope that Santa grants? Do you have any suggestions how this challenge can be fixed? Please join the conversation!

The holidays often bring a change in your routine that can cause stress and pain in your neck. Common to the mind/body world is the saying “it’s all connected.” This is never more true than with the relationship of your neck and shoulders to your posture. 

Most people have overly helpful
upper traps – yet other important muscles (like
your lats) remain underused. Let’s wake up those underused muscles! These
exercises may look simple, but if you sit, type, text, drive, or read a lot,
this work is important for you, and you’ll feel the results fairly quickly.

Exercise 1: Notice What Your Arms Are Doing

The pulley system that supports
your cervical and thoracic spine (neck and mid-back) can be assessed by taking
a look at your arms. 

Stand in front of a mirror with your arms relaxed by your sides.
What most people see is that both arms hang hand down, landing a little bit in
front of their body. Often, the backs of their wrists are facing the mirror.

Ideally, in this natural, relaxed
state, you’d see your thumbs facing forward. However, what most of us see is
the backs of our hands. What you see is an important indicator of how things
are working at your neck and shoulders.

This posture means that your arm
bones are not in a place where your upper arms can even get toned without
creating neck tension.

Let’s fix that!

Exercise 2: Squeeze It in

Standing in front of the mirror,
bring your hands alongside your body as if you were trying to touch racing
stripes on the side of athletic pant legs. Press the palms of your hands into
the sides of your thighs.

Once your hands are flat on the
side of your leg, try working all the muscles in your arms, shoulders and mid
back toget as much of your entire arm to touch your body as you can.

Now you are working all the little
muscles at the shoulder, as well as the big latissimus dorsi! Hold for about 10
seconds. Do this 5 times.

Exercise 3: Independence for Your Shoulders

Sometimes our arms and shoulders
move as one; other times they move independently of one another. This
independence is vitally important for the health and mobility of your neck,
upper back and shoulder area. 

The rhomboid push-up is a great
way to create more movement in your shoulder blades so that your mid back and
neck don’t get tense and knotted.

Stand with your feet solidly
planted beneath your hips and reach your arms out in front of you. Shoulder
height is great, but if you feel neck tension at shoulder height, drop your
arms a little lower.

Now pretend you’re reaching for a
yummy dessert about three inches in front of you. With straight arms and
outstretched fingers, invite your arms to reach for the dessert by allowing
your shoulder blades to get wide on your back and wrap to the front.

Now pull that dessert back towards
you without bending your elbows. The dessert gets closer to you as your
shoulder blades come closer together.

Invite the bottoms of your
shoulder blades to get closer to each other. If you concentrate on the tops of
your shoulder blades, your neck may decide to join the party – and we don’t want that. 

Exercise 4: The No-Grip Hold 

I know that this exercise looks pretty darn easy. But
it is VERY difficult. Many perform it with the elbows out
to the side, rather than with straight arms. Straighter arms are what we’d like
to see, to strengthen the correct muscles.

For this exercise, you’ll need a
yoga block or a book about 8–10
inches long. The longer the object is, the easier the no-grip hold will be.

All you need to do is hold the block behind you by pressing your palms into it. Hold with no gripping for 10 to 20 seconds, 3 times. 

If your elbows come out to the
side, it’s those darn lats that we need to work with again. The latissimus
dorsi is the largest muscle in our upper body, but our shoulders have gotten so
tight that our lats no longer generate much force.

As a bonus, think of how your
metabolism might rev up if it needs to power this big muscle more often. This
will help you muster the strength for one more hold!

Exercise 5: Simple Wrist Puzzle

What is a wrist puzzle, you ask?
Getting the backs of your hands to touch in a reverse prayer shape in front of
your chest.

Although the goal is for the
entire backs of the hands to touch, including your thumbs, it takes time to
undo the tension and get to this point. Play around with how close to your body
and how far up or down you need your hands to be to make this work. 

Do not worry about how much or how
little is touching right now. The practice alone is the work. Remember, we are
looking for progress, not perfection.

Just Do It, But Don’t Overdo It!

There are no hard and fast rules
about how often to work with these exercises. If you find them challenging,
then you need them! And if you are someone who has an attitude of “a little is
good, a lot is better,” I urge you to please not overdo it. Change is slow.
After 60, change is slower. 

But it’s never too late. I have
clients in their 80s who have reduced their neck tension and improved their
posture as well. It takes patience, and sometimes six to nine months for real
change.

Then one day, you’ll be surprised
to have a friend or colleague notice that you walk with more energy, or you
look brighter and lighter as you get up from your chair.

They may not realize that your
head is no longer hanging forward and your neck isn’t in pain, but they will
know something is different and that it looks and feels awesome on you!

Further read, STIFF NECK AND SHOULDERS? MAKE THEM STRONG WITH THESE 5 EASY TO FOLLOW EXERCISES.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How easy do these exercises look at first
glance? Which
ones did you find most challenging? Would you like to see some stretches to set
you up for these exercises? Please share your thoughts below.