Month: December 2023

If you are reading this, I already know one or two things about you. Firstly, that you are (probably) over 60. You are (probably but not necessarily) female, and lastly, that you at least have some grip on technology.

We’re Online After All

And a lot of us spend a lot of time there. I could not now live without email, the web, YouTube, online banking and shopping, booking train tickets and the odd streaming service. I could not publish my books without a good deal of knowledge of technology. I communicate with my friends mostly online because I’m not that keen on using the phone. Nowadays, it seems intrusive, I feel I almost have to ask permission to call someone.

That Is Not the Case for Many Older People

I do know people who don’t own a smartphone or use the internet at all. I have absolutely no idea how they manage their daily lives, but they obviously do because for the most part – I assume – they have chosen to live that way. These are the people nowadays who I would argue are being discriminated against.

They are the people who find it difficult to buy a train ticket because so many ticket offices here in the UK are being closed. They are the people who rely on actual bank buildings and post offices because they do all their banking in the old-fashioned way, face to face, and banks and post offices are disappearing fast.

They get off their backsides and go to actual shops to do their shopping. Moreover, they don’t spend/waste half their time scrolling through social media.

You Could Argue These Are the People Who Are Most in Tune with the World Around Them

Who aren’t so glued to their mobiles on public transport that they fail to notice the elderly/infirm/pregnant person standing right next to them who could do with a seat. Who use old-fashioned printed maps to find their way around, so if their GPS fails or gets confused, they can still figure out how to get to their destination. Who aren’t so totally plugged into something-or-other as they walk down the street, they can still hear the birds singing.

And If They Do Get Lost, They Are Not Averse to Asking for Directions

Even men! (Well… ) I cannot figure out Google Maps for the life of me. I was standing in the middle of a six-road junction in Elephant and Castle recently (in London) figuring out how to find a theatre and the helpful Google lady told me to ‘turn left’. Eventually, I found an actual person who knew exactly where it was and – well, Bob’s your uncle!

Technology Serves Many Purposes

Of course, it does. I could not publish or publicise my books without it. I could not submit my tax return or transfer money to and from bank accounts without it. All freelancers have to have some kind of techie knowledge, if only to know how to create a website or use social media.

Technology Saves Time

So they say. But does it? People seem to be working longer and longer hours these days, and it’s not clear whether productivity has increased accordingly. That could be because the time they are saving online is being diverted, also online, to endless scrolling through cat and toddler videos (or are they called reels nowadays?) on social media.

Is Technology Responsible for a Rise in the Crime Rate?

I cannot be the only person who feels tempted to vent my frustration with a ‘computer that says no’ (a reference to a character in a TV series called Little Britain) by committing violence on something or someone – anything or anyone.

If you’re of the generation who were not taught these things, you pick them up – or try to – as you go along, in your own random way. Hence the frustration. There was a time long, long ago when pretty well everyone understood the machines and equipment they used. Car owners knew how to fix the engine and change a tyre. Nowadays you need a degree in IT to do just that.

My Two-Year-Old Grandson Knows What YouTube Is

And how to find it on my phone. He knows his way around my phone better than I do. Should I be worried? Probably not. I can’t wait for him to be old enough to act as my tech advisor.

The author and her bête noire (Sketch by Anna de Polnay).

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What frustrations do you have with technology? How easy is it for you to get around the internet and various apps on your phone? Do you think technology has made our life easier or to the contrary?

Starting the new year is a perfect time to reevaluate, have a fresh look at your life, and begin a few new ways. Some people feel the urge to start things over on their birthday, or the beginning of a new year of marriage. At work, the urge is triggered by end-of-year evaluations’ time or simply on Mondays, the beginning of the work week. It just feels right to hit the ‘refresh’ button at these turning points.

New Year’s Resolutions Have a Bad Rap

Was this you last year? On New Year’s Eve, you became inspired to start some things over. You gave it some thought, you decided what you wanted to do, and you got started on a new goal. By the end of the month, you forgot all about it. When you did think of the Resolution, you had a bunch of guilt that made you stop going toward it altogether.

Forbes has done research to conclude that about 80% of people who make New Year’s resolutions will abandon them by the second Friday of January. This is so incredibly predictable that there’s a name and date for this. It’s called Quitters’ Day. This year, January 12, 2024, is Quitters’ Day.

Don’t Stop Before You Start

Does this discourage us from starting? New Year’s resolutions have such a bad rap that lots of people just don’t do them now. I don’t know about you, but being called a quitter by the media or even by myself is something I want to avoid. Therefore, no resolutions!

But I want to gently remind you that if you don’t attempt a change, you won’t change. We know that many goals and results are extremely hard to accomplish the first time around. Yea, it’s true you might fail at it the first time.

Do you know anyone who has attempted to quit smoking cigarettes? Many surveys suggest that smokers try to quit an average of six times before succeeding. I must confess I’ve been a real quitter on Quitters’ Day in the past. It’s oddly comforting that other people also have trouble carrying out well-meaning life-changing goals. I’m not alone!

Ok, we know there needs to be a change, or it wouldn’t pop into our head that now is a great time to shake it up. Don’t let the research on failed resolutions keep you from beginning a change you know you need in your life. Please don’t stop before you start.

My Totally Unrealistic Goal

My personal example of setting a colossal unattainable goal was to become fluent in Italian in one year. After setting this goal and working at a pace I could manage all year, I’ve fallen so short of being fluent, that it makes me laugh out loud!

I haven’t given up on the result of becoming conversationally fluent, but now I have a more realistic timeline. I’ve learned that to reach fluency, I’ll need to dedicate at least 2-3 years to the language, with consistent daily or weekly study. I share this to show that results won’t happen if our goals are unattainable! We will reach “Quitters’ Day” sooner or later.

Goal or Result? Which Is It?

In this article, I will refer to those large overall goals that we hope to attain as the result. These goals are big, vague, and what we really want in the long run. My personal example of a result is becoming fluent in Italian. As you continue reading, I refer to the goal as the baby steps and the result is the big overall goal.

I encourage you to look at goals differently.

• Result: fluency in Italian. Goal: I will commit to devoting a half hour of study to Italian 5 days a week.
• Result: a toned and fit body. Goal: I will do 10 minutes of stretching then 10 minutes on the treadmill 3 days a week.
• Result: a calmer mind. Goal: I will meditate for 5 minutes before bed.

The result of doing these baby step goals is the fluency, the more fit body, the calmer mind. To fine tune your goals into small steps or baby goals makes change attainable. One reason our resolutions have failed is that we look at the end result as the goal.

I’ve failed at being fluent in Italian in the past year. However, I’m still practicing. I learned to give the result time. My new realistic goal is 30 minutes, 5 days a week practicing the language. I look forward to the Italian language fluency as I take the daily steps to meet my goals.

Reevaluate Your Goal

Did you stop trying to reach your goal due to making it unattainable? Start again. Face the failure and figure out how to make it realistic. If you want to lose 50 lbs., that’s your result of the smaller goals of exercise, healthy eating, getting more sleep. Those small goals will change your lifestyle and give you the result you hope for. That picture in your head of you, 50 pounds lighter, is the result. It will happen with small attainable goals. So set those goals!

Start Again

If you stopped the process of attaining the result you want because you didn’t set small accomplishable goals, start over. Break it down. Be kind to yourself. Don’t stop before you start. If you quit by “Quitters’ Day,” then pick it back up and try again. Be just like those smokers who started their goal over and over and now don’t touch the stuff. They are incredibly strong people, and I commend them! Let’s be strong and courageous – and start again.

Suggestions to Jump Start Your Resolution

Find a Buddy to Confide in and Be Accountable to

You know a buddy is going to ask you about your resolution, and this could be enough for you to keep going. For me, it was paying for an Italian tutor and having Zoom meetings together. She can tell when I haven’t studied, so it motivates me to put in the time. For you this could be a life coach, or a good friend who truthfully checks in on your progress.

Give Yourself Some Incentives

What makes you want to do it? Is the intended result for your health? For your family? For financial security, or a purchase? In my case, I have new Italian friends that I want to respectfully speak with in their native language. My long-term result of fluency is because I care about them. Also, I’m motivated to keep my aging brain sharp.

If getting skinnier to fit into your old clothes is your result, then try them on now and then. Keep going until they fit well. When your result is that you finally get to wear them again, tell yourself you will buy a small clothing item that fits beautifully. If getting a certain amount in your savings account is the result you want, then when you hit certain deposit marks, allow something fun for yourself.

Some People Are Motivated by a Penalty

Technology has brought us websites like StickK.com and Beeminder.com that invite you to put money on the line that you’ll have to forfeit to a charity if you don’t achieve a stated goal. StickK.com states that it utilizes the psychological power of loss aversion and accountability to drive behavior change. Beeminder is similar in that it provides reminders with a sting! That sting is loss of money.

I’m not ready for that, but some of you might be!

I encourage you to set some attainable New Year’s resolutions this year. You have the courage and strength to do this in the right way to stop giving resolutions a bad rap.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you stopped making New Year’s resolutions due to the bad rap quitters have given it? What’s your resolution? Are you sure it’s your goal or is it your result? Can you share a time you broke it down to attainable goals and finally reached a well-deserved goal? Let’s have a conversation about failed or attained resolutions.

Although we can all agree that the pandemic years were quite bad, 2023 hasn’t been all that easier either. And though sometimes the days can seem grim, each day and in every situation, we have a choice. We can choose to focus on the negative, or we can squeeze all the joy we can out of each moment.

Let 2024 be the year you choose joy!

Consider these fresh thoughts and ideas to fill your life with more happiness and joy:

Laugh at Least Once a Day

Laughter releases endorphins in the body and brings instant joy into your life. Need something to laugh about? Watch an old sit com, or get a book of jokes from the library.

Stay Grateful

Reflect on your daily blessings and find gratitude in them. Some people keep a gratitude journal and write down everything they are grateful for each day. It can change your life!

Find Creative Activities That Make You Happy

What do you enjoy? Tap into your natural passions with a new hobby that brings you pleasure. Last year, I explored jewelry making, art journaling and basket weaving. I love them all!

Reconnect with Nature at Least Once a Week

It’s important to enjoy nature and find time to explore it. Plus, a half hour walk each day will lead to better health.

Volunteer to Help a Local Organization

Instead of writing a check and forgetting about the charity, connect with a local organization that needs hands-on help. Your heart will be filled with joy as you help others. Getting out of your self is a great way to add to your happiness.

Express Your Appreciation to Others

Ensure that others know you appreciate their efforts. Making them feel good makes you feel good too! One year, I wrote a nearly weekly note to people who had touched my life over the years. The notes were well received and made me feel great, too!

Clarify Your Priorities

Spending time on those activities that support what’s most important to you brings you satisfaction and fulfillment. With empty nests and changing relationships, now is the time to look at what is important to you. Many of us have spent our lives making others a priority in our lives. Now, you are the priority!

Organize Events with Friends

Your friendships can be a source of joy. Try to have a coffee or tea, or take a walk with a friend at least once a week.

Get Enough Sleep

Researchers have found that getting enough sleep boosts happiness levels. Have trouble sleeping? Try some meditation CDs or soothing music at bedtime, instead of the computer or television.

Stay Present in the Moment

You can find joy in the little things by enjoying each moment of the day. Does your mind race around, thinking of what’s ahead or thinking about what’s behind?

It might be hard for you to just be present in the present moment. Practice for a few minutes at a time. Expand as you can. You will find your happiness expanding as well.

Keep Your Mind Active

An active mind avoids boredom, so you can find more joy. This might take the form of reading more, taking a course or learning something new. What are the things you have always been curious about, but never had enough time to pursue?

Make New Friends

New friendships instantly add joy to your life. Become more active at your church or senior center to meet some new people as soon as it’s safe.

Give and Accept More Hugs

Hugs can lift your mood, and researchers have found hugs have a positive impact on endorphin levels. Of course, hugs have become a commodity of the past, but we must not despair. Perhaps 2024 will be full of hugs!

Encourage the People Around You

As you encourage others and help them find happiness, your own joy will increase. Are there younger people in your career you can mentor? How about younger moms who need encouragement? Never waste an opportunity to speak a word of encouragement over someone else.

Smile More

Make smiling a priority and watch joy fill your life. Other people are attracted to a positive smile, too.

Create New Goals

Find happiness in new directions and goals. Set a goal to walk greater distances, or pick up a new language. The world is your oyster!

Reconnect with Lost Family Members

Have you drifted apart from family members? Rediscovering your bond will bring happiness to both of you.

Be Selfish!

Is it selfish to take time for yourself? After a lifetime of helping and serving others, this is your time for yourself. Take that bubble bath, get that pedicure, go on that retreat. Practicing good self-care is not selfish at all.

Think About Writing Your Memoir

Are there things you would like those who come after you to remember? Are there stories you want your children or nieces and nephews to cherish? Now is the time to preserve these precious memories for the future. You will enjoy remembering them and others will delight to read them.

Do Bold Things

Are there things you have been afraid to do, or felt a lack of self-confidence over? Guess what? As someone who has lived a full life, you have nothing to prove to others and nothing to lose. Be bold!

Speak out for causes you believe in. Tell others your feelings for them. Travel to destinations on your bucket list. Taking some risks to do bold things can lead to a fuller, fun life!

Forget about New Year’s resolutions. Try to reach for all the new year joy you can in the new year. Soaking the year in joy can transform your life!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How are you creating joyful thoughts for your new year? Please share in the comments below.

Is your biggest adventure awaiting you in 2024? And if so, have you thought about ways to set clear goals for the new year?

Oprah Winfrey once said, “The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.”

In this third article and video of my six-part article series on “Living Your Dreamlife in 2024” we will look at 10 ways journaling can help you set clear goals for yourself in the new year.

What Gets in the Way of Your Dreams?

As women over 60, we each face various challenges to realizing our dreams.

To better understand what your unique challenges might be, here are some common factors to watch out for that can hinder the process setting clear goals:

• Societal expectations
• Age-related stereotypes
• Health issues, including physical and mental health challenges
• Financial considerations and worries about retirement savings
• Fear of the unknown, such as stepping out of your comfort zone
• Lack of support or encouragement from family or friends
• Self-doubt, low self-esteem, or lack of confidence
• Loss of loved ones and other significant life transitions

It’s important to recognize how these challenges can get in the way of what you desire.

For example, if you do not have proper support from family or friends, don’t let that stop you. Go beyond them by seeking out professional resources or like-minded people who will support you. These resources and people can range from coaches or therapists and online courses to the inspiring community available to you here on Sixty and Me.

When you are aware of your personal challenges you can get ahead of them. This makes any obstacle easier to address early on, which stacks the odds in your favor of successfully achieving your goals.

Journaling Your Path to Your Dreams

Being aware of your challenges, taking small steps to overcome them, celebrating achievements, and embracing a growth mindset all contribute to setting clear and meaningful goals.

The one tool that will help you during each stage of your goal setting journey is journaling.

Journaling allows you to explore your thoughts, emotions, and ambitions. Journal prompts, in particular, assist you in setting clear goals and envisioning your dream life in ways that can accelerate your desired outcomes.

Here are 10 effective ways journaling will help you set clear goals for your dreamlife in 2024, along with journal prompts to bring them to life:

Reflect on Your Passions

What activities or interests have brought you joy throughout your life? How can you incorporate these passions into your goals and aspirations?

Imagine Your Ideal Day

What does your perfect day look and feel like? Use this vision of your perfect day to inspire goals that align with your desired lifestyle in 2024.

List Your Core Values

Identify the values most important to you. How can you better align your goals with these values to manifest more of your dreams in the new year?

Envision Your Dreams

Explore what you would love to do more of at this stage of your life. What does this look and feel like? Who is with you and what are you doing?

Prepare Yourself Mentally & Physically

Reflect on your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. How can you cultivate a positive growth mindset and prioritize self-care to transport you from where you are now to where the life of your dreams lives in 2024?

Explore Your Relationships

How can you deepen existing connections with people and create more fulfilling relationships? What new relationships would you like to cultivate and nourish that would be helpful to your dreams coming true?

Identify New Places to Explore

What new dream destinations and bucket list vacations are part of your goals for 2024? Journal about places you dream of experiencing and consider how you can incorporate travel or exploration into your lifestyle.

Embrace Personal Growth

What new skills, hobbies, or knowledge would you like to acquire that are pertinent to achieving your dreams? How can you challenge yourself to continually evolve and expand your horizons in the new year?

Release Limiting Beliefs

What current or past limiting beliefs and fears are holding you back from pursuing your dreams? Release these limiting beliefs by journaling counterarguments or reframing them into positive affirmations.

Prioritize Joy & Fulfillment

What brings you true happiness and fulfillment? How can you infuse more of these elements into your goals and daily life? What steps can you take to prioritize joy and create a sense of fulfillment?

This Is Personal

Not all goal setting processes or journal prompts work the same for everyone. Keep in mind that your goals and dreams are personal and unique to you.

To get started, create a goal setting list and journal prompts that are emotionally relevant to your dreams and desired lifestyle.

Above all, give yourself permission to dream big. Be flexible in your approach and embrace the journey of creating your dream life in 2024.

I invite you to join me in the video where I share additional insights and guide you through six journal prompts to help you integrate what you are learning.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What goals have you set for yourself in the new year? Are any of them on your bucket list? How are you planning to achieve them?

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Originally posted at: Alexia Echevarria’s White Floral Top and Skirt Set