Month: February 2024

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Photo: @heatherdubrow

Originally posted at: Kathy Hilton’s Belted Cargo Jeans

Who could have guessed that the cathartic process of purging and decluttering one woman’s home one drawer, one closet, one room at a time could change the direction and trajectory of life forever?

What began as an attempt to help a client gradually declutter her home, that had become so overrun with clutter that she was overwhelmed to the point of feeling paralyzed and powerless to accomplish the task on her own, turned into an adventure and great revelation.

What ended up happening was completely unexpected. After almost a year of decluttering, a powerful, confident, emboldened woman emerged from underneath all of that clutter. the physical and emotional clutter that had been standing in the way of the peace, contentment and fulfillment that her clutter-free home now provides, was gone.

And even more importantly, after fully embracing the inner work of decluttering, she is now a woman who loves and respects herself enough to confront anyone (including herself) who tells her she can’t when she knows she CAN.

But perhaps the most significant impact of decluttering, both the physical and mental clutter, is the life-changing power that she discovered within herself hidden underneath all of that stuff. 

Getting Your Life Back Through Decluttering

Several major transformations took place during the nine-month-long process.

• She regained control of her physical environment by purging anything that she no longer wanted, needed, or used, creating space for a simpler and more abundant life with less.
• She reclaimed her own power by discovering a new sense of control over herself and her life, ultimately making room for the life she really wanted.
• She rediscovered her self-worth, self-love, inner peace, contentment, and happiness.

Throughout the process of purging, she also learned how to:

• Confront and talk about the deep-seated emotions of anger, resentment, frustration that had been building up and kept hidden for many years.
• Reject and refuse to allow the negative, non-supportive environment that prevented her from accomplishing her decluttering goals. Instead, replacing them with a supportive team that would inspire and encourage her on the journey.
• Learn to develop new skills, routines, and habits that would contribute to sustainable changes. 

“Good Luck with That!”

A few weeks into our decluttering sessions, I was introduced to her spouse for the first time.

She said: “Rita is here to help me declutter our home.”

He responded: “Good luck with that!”

To this day, those cruel, biting, and disempowering words still ring in my ears!

In that moment, I saw a woman who had heard this message many times before and felt so beaten down by a spouse who was betting against her success.

How could she possibly win at decluttering or anything else she set out to do? No wonder she felt incapable of doing this project on her own!

Those Were “Fighting Words!”

His disrespectful words lit a fire and passion within me to not only help this woman get her house back, but also to reclaim her power, self-respect, and belief in herself.

I was committed to having her reverse the real time cost of clutter.

Getting Started, Staying Motivated, and Winning the Decluttering Game

An overview of the process of this life-changing approach to decluttering:

1. Establish ground rules for a safe, supportive, and judgment-free space that inspires and encourages weekly progress.
2. Teach practical tools, tips, techniques to let go of excess that is not aligned with values and current lifestyle. 
3. Practice techniques for overcoming obstacles and breaking free of barriers that slow down the decision-making process.
4. Take “before pictures” and “after pictures” at every decluttering session.
5. Complete the initial intake form/questionnaire to better understand the impact of physical and emotional clutter on health, well-being, relationships, productivity, and overall happiness.
6. Monitor the level of weekly commitment and keep a written journal.
7. Create a written vision statement for life after decluttering.
8. Create a blueprint/roadmap of all areas in the home to be decluttered. Prioritize them in order of importance and impact.
9. Establish decluttering calendar with specific dates, times, goals for each session.
10. Document weekly progress, noting whether goals were achieved. If not, why not? What might be done differently the next time: lessons learned.

Room by Room, Session by Session, We Began to See Real Transformation and Results

As she grew to trust me, she openly talked about the emotions that she had been denying and attempting to hide for many years. Those feelings of anger, resentment, frustration, and disrespectbegan to melt away and feelings of gratitude and hope started to creep into our conversation.

She came to realize that as she not only lost control of her house and the clutter within it, she has also lost her own power and self-respect.

With each bag of discarded trash, with each box of donated stuff, she was not only letting go of the physical clutter, but she was also letting go of the mental cutter that had been the real roadblock to any possibility of success that she was looking for. 

As her house started to feel lighter, brighter, and more organized, she, too, started to exude a newfound power, self-confidence, and self-respect.

During the nine-month-long journey of decluttering and of getting her house and her life back, she miraculously discovered the real cost of clutter. The woman who had been hiding beneath all of it began to emerge.

A Good Ending

We all like good endings and this one will warm your heart. 

About six months into the process, her spouse began to compliment her on her commitment and progress. He even offered to help. 

A month before we finished the large project, her husband happily announced that they had decided to have a big party at their house… something they both were too ashamed to do in the past. 

At last, and together… they could proudly invite people into their new home. 

Success!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What was your initial roadblock to successfully declutter your home and life? Is your story one of success?

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Photo: @kylerichards18

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ Blue Cropped Tweed Jacket

Do you own a property located within a Homeowners Association? Do you have or hear horror stories from friends and family dealing with Homeowners Associations? I’ve got a few to share, and I am betting many of you do, too! Homeowners Associations can be often misunderstood, often out of control, often necessary, yet often unnecessary and a nightmare to some!

What Is a Homeowners Association?

First things first! What actually is a Homeowners Association (HOA)? It is a mini-government organization typically ran by residential homeowners elected to a board of directors to oversee the neighborhood management of common areas.

Homeowners Associations or POAs (property owners associations) began as early as the 1960s as a way to manage residential developments with shared common areas. HOAs are much more common now than in years gone by due to so many housing developments containing smaller individual lots requiring more shared amenities or common areas.

In neighborhood areas with shared swimming pools, clubhouses, playgrounds, grounds and walking trails a Homeowners Association is deemed necessary in order to keep the shared amenities well maintained and in good repair.

Many will argue that a Homeowners Associations is also absolutely necessary to police a neighborhood’s restrictions/covenants by being able to collect fees, assess fines, and punish violators.

Frequently, I get calls from homebuyers who are puzzled and unsure if the property they are purchasing is located in a legally formed Homeowners Association.

Why Are HOAs So Misunderstood?

HOAs can be quite complicated with hundreds of pages of rules and regulations. I have often told buyers that HOAs’ rules/regulations are much like rules of a sport you might play. Who would want to play baseball without reading or knowing what the rules of the game are? Yes, it is EXTREMELY important that you know the rules before you play and before you buy that piece of property!

Why is it that most property buyers fail to read HOA documents prior to making an offer on a property? HOA rules/regulations are boring, time consuming to read and sometimes very difficult to read. Here are some tips to find out if the property you are buying is located in a formal HOA and where to find the rules/regulations. Trust me, taking time before you buy can and will save you some major headaches later.

Every piece of real property has a deed or title to the property that describes the property and any documents associated with the property. If you are considering purchasing property through a realtor or homeowner, ask for a copy of the deed and all existing, if any, HOA related documents.

A property deed can also be easily found online or by going to a local register of deeds office in the area where your property is being purchased. Look closely at the deed. If the property is located in an HOA, the legal description section will contain language stating that fact.

There will also be additional references given to HOA bylaws, covenants and restrictions that you should be aware of. If there is no reference to a Homeowners Association, your property is most likely not under a Homeowners Associations’ jurisdiction.

But don’t stop there! If you are not satisfied or sure of the existence of an HOA, a local title attorney can easily research the property and inform you of any existing HOA documents before you make an offer to purchase.

Should All Neighborhoods Have or Be Governed by a Homeowners Association?

No. Not all neighborhoods have common areas, therefore there may be nothing shared to maintain and, in that case, a Homeowners Association may be unnecessary. Many neighborhoods have in place some type of written recorded deed restrictions/covenants that clearly set the property rules for all property owners.

An example of a written deed restriction might be that no outbuildings are allowed on the property unless they match the main home structure. Another example might be that no boats or trailers may be stored on the property.

If a property owner violates a written recorded deed restriction, any property owner(s) in that neighborhood or development have the right to ask that property owner to abide by the restrictions or they may also individually contest the violation in a legal manner. This method typically works well for most properties not located in an HOA and has been in existence for decades.

My Own Experience with HOAs

My first experience with a property located in an HOA came a few years ago after I purchased a three-bedroom condo in a 72-unit development. I did my due diligence and made sure to ask for all HOA documents prior to making an offer. The HOA documents included well over one hundred pages, so it was quite a read!

I carefully read and absorbed the HOA by-laws, rules and regulations prior to making an offer. The monthly dues assessment seemed fair for what appeared to be well maintained grounds and amenities. What I was not prepared for, however, were the somewhat unfriendly letters I would receive from the HOA board during the first year of ownership.

Shortly after purchasing the condo, I ended up leasing it to a year-long tenant until I was ready to move there permanently. Within a month of leasing, I received a written notice from the condo HOA board informing me that someone’s pet excrement was found in the lobby of the condo building.

The condo HOA rules/regulations allowed pets less than 30 pounds for condo owners and strongly discouraged owners allowing tenants to have pets.

The written notice I received was quite unfriendly and stated that the next time an animal excrement was found in the building, they would have the excrement checked for DNA and require all pet owners to submit DNA samples of their pets to see whose pet the excrement belonged to. The HOA board letter further stated that the pet owner found to be guilty would be heavily fined. To my knowledge, there were never any fines levied after the threatening letter.

I unfortunately was in receipt of a few more HOA letters that year from the same condo association. One letter assessed a fine of $350 to me due to a tenant accidently stopping up the garbage trash chute with a carpet remnant.

Another letter informed me that a remodeling contractor I hired could not occupy the condo while remodeling work was being done. To say the least, the receipt of the numerous HOA board letters discouraged me from moving into the condo and I eventually sold it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you had good or bad experiences with your HOA? Have you purchased a property without knowing an HOA existed? Do you think HOAs have too much or too little policing power? Would you prefer to buy a property with or without an HOA?