Month: February 2024

Amanda Batula’s Pink “Perfect Match” Sweatshirt / Summer House Fashion Season 8 Episode 1

Amanda Batula’s pink “Perfect Match” sweatshirt isn’t echoing her current sentiments about hubby Kyle Cooke on last night’s Summer House Season 8 premiere. Which is definitely understandable and inevitable from time to time in a long term relationship. And when times are tough and your husband takes a giant banana on a ferris wheel in place of you a cozy sweatshirt always makes me feel better. Except when I find out my perfect match is totally sold out.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Originally posted at: Amanda Batula’s Pink “Perfect Match” Sweatshirt

Click Here to Shop it on Sale in Black

Originally posted at: Gabby Prescod’s Navy Blue Sequin Skirt

When I shared the first draft of my financial checklist book with a publisher years ago, his reaction surprised me. “This is a ‘honey, I love you’ book!” he said. “I am going to get this book for my wife for Valentine’s Day and tell her that my gift will be to get everything on the checklist completed for her so that she won’t have to worry.” Wow, I thought, that really is a loving husband.

Beyond Valentine’s Day

Whether it is gift giving in the month of love (like Valentine’s Day in February) or another time of year for birthday, anniversary, or another gift giving celebration, maybe it’s time to be selfish and give a gift to ourselves.

Even if we don’t have a spouse, or a spouse like this publisher who will do the work for you, getting your financial house in order is truly a gift worth spending the time on to save money and stress later for you and your family.

The Morbid Details

We need to face the facts. Statistically, we are the ones left to deal with life after the loss of a spouse. 70% of all married women will experience widowhood. 80% of married women will die single whereas 80% of married men die married. And when we add in spouse health issues, 90% of all women will eventually be solely in charge of their household finances. Those facts should convince you to basically prepare for the inevitable.

A long-time friend always made me chuckle when he introduced his wife of 30+ years. He would say, “This is Kathy, my first wife.” Despite his sarcastic humor, it made me think twice when I recently read an article by a writer who realized that his current wife will also likely be his future widow. The article was titled, “She’s Cute. She’s Smart. She’s My Future Widow.”

The facts continue to confirm that assumption. 80% of the 1 million Americans who lose a spouse each year are women. Women outlive men in every country in the world.

The Solution: Getting Financially Organized

So, we women need to get comfortable, or have someone in our life who helps us be comfortable, with our financial life. Getting financially organized is a gift to ourselves. Let’s clarify what it means to be “financially organized.” In my experience, it breaks down to being able to answer three questions.

Question #1: Do You Know What You Have?

You may or may not be able to rattle off the totals at the bank, in IRAs, property values, etc. But information in your head is no good to someone either assisting you if needed or taking care of things after you are gone. If there is no written financial inventory when it’s needed, because you are in the hospital or gone, means someone will have to put together the puzzle pieces found around the house at an already stressful time.

And the devil is in the details. How helpful is it if you have created a net worth statement, for example, which often requires that you just list totals at the bank, a total IRA balance, and a total real estate value? The detail of: where are those accounts, how are they titled, do they have beneficiary designations on them, etc. will all need to be known.

Why not summarize that all in one place. I am a fan of having a summary binder, with a detailed net worth summary in the front and tabs for year-end statements of assets. Further detail is available in the files.

And how about your estate planning documents: a will/trust, powers of attorney for health care/mental health care and financial? Have you drafted them, and do they reflect your current wishes?

Best practice is to review documents every 3-5 years to consider life/law changes.

Question #2: Can Someone Else Find Your Information When Needed?

Don’t make it a scavenger hunt for your family to locate your financial inventory, statements, and estate planning documents. You should tell one of your named fiduciaries where to find everything OR leave them a sealed letter of instructions for when the time comes OR create a document location sheet outlining that detail. There are too many stories out there of families that never found the will or found it in the freezer or under the bed or in a box with the Christmas gift wrap.

Question #3: Have You Told Your Assets Where to Go?

Once you have compiled your financial inventory, your master resource list, your asset list, your net worth summary or whatever you want to call it, then you need to review it in detail. Where did you tell the bank to send your savings account after you are gone, for example? Translation: how is the account titled? Is it joint, or in your name alone, or in the name of a trust?

The bank knows where it goes if it’s titled jointly or in the name of a trust. But if it is only in your name, unless you added a POD (Payable on Death) designation on that account, they will wait for probate (depending on the size of the account and the probate limit in your state) to confirm where that account goes.

And how about your IRA? Did you keep your beneficiary designations current, are the people listed still alive and also reflecting your wishes? And do you have a contingent beneficiary listed in case you and the primary beneficiary are in a car accident together, for example?

Is Your Financial House in Order?

Having your financial house in order comes down to having a detailed asset list, organized documents that are current and findable, and making sure your “where do I want my assets to go?” answer is in writing at every institution because beneficiary designations override the will/trust. Treat yourself to this gift knowing it takes a bit of time to create. But it’s SO worth it!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Estate Planning is the most procrastinated aspect of financial planning. Does it help to think of it as a gift to yourself and your family? What motivates you to take action on this area of your financial life? Have you seen how this gift can make a difference?

One of the most common complaints I hear from my coaching clients about first dates is that they didn’t feel any chemistry. So often we expect it to feel like a bolt of lightning like you see in the movies. We forget, we live in real life, not in a movie.

Can it happen? Sure. But realize that this is more likely a chemical reaction rather than an emotional connection. It’s a love vs. lust concept. If you don’t feel that sizzle as soon as you meet someone, it doesn’t mean there won’t ever be any chemistry between you two. It simply means it may need time to develop.

Most women don’t realize that they carry 50 percent of the responsibility of creating a spark on the first date. If it doesn’t happen naturally, there are some things to help it along. The key is to create enough interest on date number one so that you both want to learn more about each other on date number two.

Try these tips to help create a little sizzle:

Dress Comfortably

It’s hard to know how to dress on a first date. Should you buy something new, wear your best shoes, etc.? The real key is to be your best, beautiful self. Be sure to wear something comfortable that doesn’t slip, bunch, or feel too tight. And wear something that makes you feel like a million dollars. First impressions count.

Look for the Positive

When you go on a first date with a positive attitude and that feeling of excitement, it’s easier to experience that sense of giddiness. If you don’t initially feel it, focus on finding two or three things you really like about your date so your focus is on the positive and not the negative. It makes a difference.

Compliment Him

Yes, men love to hear compliments. If you want to get flirty, you could even say, “You’re cuter than I thought you were” when you first meet. If that’s too much for you, a sincere compliment of “You look nice” can set the stage for more casual compliments throughout the date. You don’t always need to compliment them on how they look. Maybe they have a great laugh or a point of view you appreciate. They’ll enjoy hearing about anything you like about them.

Sit Next to Him

Close the gap at the table by sitting next to him rather than across from him. It feels more intimate and makes it easier for you to talk to each other.

Touch Him

Men don’t experience much physical contact in their day-to-day lives so feel free to touch his arm, hand, or shoulder for emphasis while you’re chatting. You can even go for a hug and peck on the cheek when you first meet or end the date.

Be Authentic

You want to bring your real self to all your first dates. If you’re feeling excited or nervous to meet him, be open and tell him. He may be feeling the same way which can create some common ground, or he may step up to show support which will also create an open dialogue.

Keep Your Body Language Open

Even if you’re nervous, try to smile. Then keep your arms and hands open, it’s hard to feel close to someone with crossed arms. Lean into the conversation rather than away. And make sure your feet are facing in rather than out. Shifting your body to a more open position can lead to more open conversation.

No one can predict how things will go when you meet someone new. That’s why you’ll enjoy making those heart-to-heart connections quickly by using the tips above and the secret language that creates chemistry. You’ll be able to get to know him at a deeper level without feeling intrusive or getting too personal.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you believe you need to feel chemistry on date number one in order to go on date number two, or do you give it some time and let things develop?

Inflammation is your body’s favorite companion, sometimes. Realistically, you can’t live without it, but when it becomes too clingy you can’t live with it either. In the short term, inflammation comes to the rescue when you have a minor infection or injury.

It’s protective and isolates your injury or ailment so that your repair cells can come in, swoop out the irritant and start the repair. When inflammation lingers and won’t leave, that’s when the trouble begins.

Inflammation and Bones

Science has proven inflammation to be the underlying cause of most disease, but only in the last 20 years has it become clear that inflammation can cause osteoporosis. According to research done at the Mexico Clinical Research & Osteoporosis Center, if there’s inflammation in your body it causes bone forming cells to produce a protein that increases osteoclast activity (bone degradation), therefore increasing bone loss.

Other research from The University of Pittsburgh shows a relationship between inflammation and frailty, with an eventual outcome being greater fracture risk.

You may already know that the process of bone building begins to slow down in your 30s, causing bone to breakdown faster than it can build back up. When you add age and inflammation to the matrix, you need to be constantly on the alert.

How Inflammation Develops and What It Looks Like

Toxins are often to blame as a precursor to inflammation, along with other factors like stress, poor nutrition, lack of exercise or daily movement, excess weight, sleep issues, medications, preexisting conditions and simply, age. All these things don’t just flare up inflammation in isolation.

Like with all disease, inflammation goes astray when the right number of factors combine. It’s never an isolated incident. Any combination of things could instigate a continual cycle of inflammation. The perfect storm is different for everyone, but it usually takes several elements to brew a chronic inflammatory reaction.

Do you ache all over, are you constantly fatigued, perhaps you have trouble with memory, trouble concentrating? Maybe you’re always getting colds, bacterial infections, fungal infections like candida or skin rashes on your hands? You may have digestive issues like constant bloating, gas or constipation. These are all signs that inflammation is brewing.

Long Term Use of Anti-Inflammatory Medication

Doctors often prescribe corticosteroids like prednisone and hydrocortisone to manage inflammation when there is chronic disease. The problem with these medications is that if treatment continues long term, they have a tendency to weaken your immune response and mimic cortisol in your body.

This directly impacts bone density, the onset of osteoporosis and in addition, atrophy of lymphatic tissue and the muscle surrounding your bones.

Corticosteroids can also affect aldosterone, a hormone that keeps your sodium and potassium levels in check. Although further studies are needed, a meta-analysis and review published in the Frontiers of Endocrinology Journal in 2020 shows clinical studies looking at the relationship between excess aldosterone and osteoporosis indicating a clear connection causing increased risk of bone fracture.

If you are currently on corticosteroids and have been for a long time, you may wish to have a discussion with your doctor about alternative treatments.

Six Ways You Can Protect Your Bones from Inflammation

#1: Avoid Inflammatory Foods

Because inflammation disrupts the body’s ability to absorb nutrients efficiently, the nutrients that are vital for keeping your bones strong may be depleted; things like calcium, zinc, magnesium, vitamin D, K and A, essential fatty acids and proteins.

Lack of nutrients means lack of bone growth and increase of fracture. A healthy anti-inflammatory diet should be your first step toward managing inflammation and maintaining bone integrity.

The easiest way to start is by getting to know what an inflammatory food is. Once you know what causes inflammation you can enjoy everything else that your body’s able to tolerate. By eating a varied whole foods diet with a good amount of fiber, organic vegetables and fruit, wild fatty fish, grass fed and pasture raised meats and poultry, whole grains, nuts and seeds you’re nourishing your body and getting a varied nutrient rich diet.

Sure, there are some foods that are particularly helpful due to their ability to activate certain anti-inflammatory properties. Spices like turmeric, ginger and garlic, fruits like blueberries and pineapple, and vegetables like broccoli and mushrooms are all beneficial.

The list of beneficial foods is endless, that’s why I find it more helpful for people to understand inflammatory foods and remove them first. You’ll find it’s a much easier way to simplify what to eat and what not to eat.

#2: Keep Excess Weight Off

When you’re overweight, inflammation increases because the wrong type of fat tissue reduces a particular protein in your body that works to keep inflammation down. That same fat tissue releases inflammatory cells that proliferate. You can make a major difference in how your body reacts to inflammation by simply managing your weight.

#3: Start a Yoga Practice

Exercise is proven to reduce inflammatory markers; however, if you think you have to push yourself into high intensity exercise in order to stay healthy, you have it all wrong. Too much exercise actually causes stress on the body.

You need to know what is enough for you. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is good, but giving yourself ample rest time along with that is best. Steady movement of any kind, done regularly, is a sustainable way to maintain your physical and mental wellbeing.

To keep your muscles toned and your bones strong combine a movement or yoga based practice with resistance training and weekly weight bearing exercises.

#4: Keep Blood and Lymphatic Vessels Flowing

Your circulation and movement of fluids through your body influences how inflammation manifests itself and can be vital to how inflammation plays out in your body. A sedentary lifestyle will not help you here nor anywhere.

#5: Manage Stress

Chronic stress causes increased blood sugar, insulin resistance, weight gain, poor sleep and digestive issues, all the things that lead us back to an increase in inflammation. Remember that stress can be both physical and emotional, so keep your body in check.

Laughter’s my favorite way to relieve stress, but there are so many ways to let your body unwind. Maybe take a warm bath and throw in some magnesium chloride flakes or Epsom salts. It’s relaxation, a boost of magnesium and a detox all in one.

Find what works for you; whether its baths, meditation or something else, just make it something that lets you fully let go of all the things that weigh you down.

#6: Reduce Daily Toxins

Mold, plastics, household cleaners, cosmetics, GMOs in food, poor cooking methods like frying and using fats that cause oxidative stress are just some of the toxic things that can affect your health and charge inflammation. Sometimes switching up the products used for more natural ones and preparing food differently can make a big difference for someone.

Similar to osteoporosis itself, inflammation begins long before you even know it’s a problem and that’s why it’s so important to practice preventative and restorative measures on a daily basis for best bone outcome.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Is inflammation your constant companion? How long has it stayed with you? When do you feel its impact the most? Are you taking medications to manage inflammation and what is the result? Have you considered other methods for fighting inflammation in your body?

Disclaimer: This article is not intended to provide medical advice. Please consult with your doctor to get specific medical advice for your situation.