Month: April 2024

Writer’s Block and Bumps? It’s Time to Reset and Refresh

Writer’s Blocks and Bumps It’s Time to Reset and Refresh

The flow of images and ideas slowed to a trickle, then to a drip – and I feared they would dry up completely. When this happened to me recently, I blamed the usual suspects: not enough sleep, too much work, plenty of distractions. But even when I slept more and finished client projects to ease the pressure, I still struggled with my creative writing.

Over the past 40 years – from being a journalist to becoming a nonfiction author, a creative writer, and now a mystery novelist – I’ve endured a few episodes of the dreaded writer’s block when it feels impossible to produce anything new.

Writer’s Block or Writer’s Bump?

Fortunately, this time I could still crank out the words, but my writing felt stale and lifeless. Rather than full-blown writer’s block, I chose to call this “writer’s bump” – like a speed bump that slows progress and makes for a rocky ride. To get back into a smooth flow, I needed to reset and refresh.

Many practices can help us shift our mindset: walking, journaling, yoga – just to name a few. My sister, Jeannie, swears by what she calls “escaping to my garden – to lose myself and all track of time.” I’ve even reaped therapeutic benefits from mundane, repetitive activities like washing dishes (turns out, it’s a thing – the “zen of dishwashing”).

Whatever activity we choose, it’s only the tactic – our means to a desired end. Far more important is what that “doing” does to us. Here are three of my favorite refreshers:

Light a Candle

A few years ago, I found myself stockpiled with candles – several fat pillars and dozens of tiny votives; some were scented floral or woodsy, others had no smell at all. Most had been given to me as gifts, which I tucked away for some future occasion. Finally, it occurred to me that instead of gathering dust, they should be giving light!

What started out as consuming excess wick and wax became a kind of ritual. There is nothing quite so mesmerizing as tongues of flame – the same sensation we feel in front of a fireplace or around a campfire (and without having to split the kindling or deal with the embers and ashes).

Candles are everywhere to the point of being cliché. In spiritual and religious traditions of all types, they are used for prayer and meditation. On a recent trip to England and Scotland, I lit candles in every cathedral we visited, sending thoughts and love for people back home. And in restaurants at night, there were nearly identical votives creating ambience.

Candles burn with my prayer intentions at St. Giles’ Cathedral, Edinburgh, Scotland.

The breakthrough for me, though, is lighting candles just for myself. For example, a small trio – red, deep purple, and lavender – sits on my desk. When my writing isn’t flowing because of some writers’ bump, striking a match and touching it to a wick draws my focus inward. As my mind relaxes, ideas begin to surface.

Walk a Labyrinth

A narrow path winds forward, then loops back, continuously circling in unexpected directions. Although the end is in sight the whole time, the more I walk the farther I seem to be moving from the destination.

This is a labyrinth, with coiling pathways that appeal to my contemplative, wannabe-mystic side. Some are large and elaborate, such as the one I stumbled across in Scottsdale, Arizona, where I went into a retreat center in hopes of getting directions back to my hotel. (It went something like this: “Hi, I’m lost. Oh, you have a labyrinth. Can I walk it?”) Others are small and modest, like a tightly turning etch on the ground made by a local Girl Scout troop at a park near where I used to live.

Labyrinths are everywhere – and there are locators to help find them. Unlike a maze, which is meant to confuse, a labyrinth reveals its entire path. The only question is how many twists and turns you’ll encounter from beginning to end. If that’s not an imitation of a writer’s path, I don’t know what is.

Walking a labyrinth reminds us that progress is rarely linear. No matter how precisely we set our goals and plot our course, detours and even setbacks are inevitable. But they don’t have to derail us. Instead, they can turn us in a new direction, such as switching genres (which I did, from nonfiction to fiction) or rewriting something that, frankly, just isn’t working.

Wander in Silence

I used to call myself the “queen of multi-tasking.” Why do one thing when I could do two or three at the same time? (Yeah, I was that person.) My daily run was a perfect pairing of exercise and making phone calls or enjoying the latest release on Audible.

When my recent case of writer’s bump hit, though, I knew I had to stop. That steady stream of conversations, podcasts, and audiobooks was overwhelming my brain. Suddenly, I wanted silence.

[See my video on Silence: The Secret Partner to Abundant Creativity]

A hiking trail near my home leads into the woods. Within a mile, I can shed most of the noise of civilization and concentrate only on natural sounds – birds calling, branches rustling, tall grasses rippling. This white noise au naturel not only soothes, but also immerses me in the details of my surroundings—like four different shades of spring green or how low clouds settle on the foothills. The more I notice, the more images and descriptions I collect for my mental writing file from which new ideas are born, such as my recent short story, Old Growth.

When the going gets tough, pushing through may not serve us as well as pausing. Whether it’s a flickering candle, a looping labyrinth, the silent woods, or any other respite, we can use them to reset and refresh, then resume our writing.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you ever faced writer’s block – and, if so, what did you do to cope? What activities allow you to pause and unplug – to recharge your creative battery? If you could engage in one restorative practice every week, what would it be?

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Melissa Gorga’s Gold Leather Skirt

Melissa Gorga’s Gold Leather Skirt / Real Housewives of New Jersey Instagram Fashion April 2024

Melissa Gorga is the heavy metal queen of Instagram! Her mixed metallic look featuring a silver top and gold leather skirt for night out in Boston was truly out of this world. Shine bright like her and embrace Spring’s metallic trend with a bold, stylish piece to light up your wardrobe! ✨

Best in Blonde,

Amanda


Melissa Gorga's Gold Leather Skirt

Click Here for Additional Stock in Her Skirt / Here for More Stock / Here for More Stock

Photo +ID: @melissagorga


Style Stealers



Originally posted at: Melissa Gorga’s Gold Leather Skirt

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Do You Have a Financial Housekeeper?

Do You Have a Financial Housekeeper

This picture is from high school, many moons ago, when I played the character of Pauline, the housekeeper, in the play No, No, Nanette! I would cook, tidy up, and keep the household organized and running smoothly. Far from being the star of the show (my sister was Nanette), I think back on that time and wonder if there was a little bit of typecasting going on. Pauline was a bit bossy but also had a good sense of humor. Hmm, as the oldest of four children (and now having had four children myself), I guess I could’ve been seen as a bit bossy. And I have always been grateful for my sense of humor!

National Financial Literacy Month

I think this all ties into today as I reflect on this important month of April, National Financial Literacy Month. My passion for helping women get more comfortable with their finances may at times come across as being bossy. Forgive me. I have been on the other side with too many women over the past 20+ years who experienced divorce or widowhood. They were financially stressed, more from lack of comfort and awareness, at an already stressful (in so many other ways) time of their life.

Financial Housekeeper

I am on a mission to help women avoid that feeling during an inevitable time that almost all of us will face. And the best way to avoid it is to get organized now. Become your own “financial housekeeper.” By that I mean organize what you have so you better understand your big picture. And to do that, you need to start with a financial inventory that answers “What do I have?”

20th Anniversary

And what better time to get started on that goal than April? You may have seen, heard, or read other financial literacy efforts this month. 2024 is the 20th anniversary of the Senate resolution recognizing April as National Financial Literacy Month. The concept started with a Youth Financial Literacy Day established earlier by the National Endowment for Financial Education. The good news is that many more organizations are now on the bandwagon to help educate Americans of all ages about their financial life.

The Financial Awareness Foundation

The goal of this annual effort in April is to be a crucial reminder for all of us that this country needs to prioritize financial education as one way to develop, encourage, and support sound financial habits. Years ago, I learned about and jumped into supporting The Financial Awareness Foundation as an ambassador and board member. Their helpful free, downloadable personal finance tools and educational resources have spread across the globe.

My only disappointment is that the US seems to be the least interested country in getting large corporate sponsors and financial services organizations to proactively commit to the movement.

Get Your Docs in a Row

So in my own little world, I do what I can. I am offering a complimentary virtual workshop called “Get Your Docs in a Row” during the months of April and October that includes a FREE download of my favorite tool (and I believe most helpful), My Net Worth Summary. I invite you to consider jumping on Zoom for one of my workshops to get a head start on your financial inventory.

Am I Missing Anything?

Most of us don’t have a “housekeeper” that helps us keep things running smoothly. But you can take the role of being your own “financial housekeeper” by just taking a few steps. Since 90% of all women will eventually be solely in charge of their household finances, you should plan to have it all in your lap, if you don’t already.

Start with a financial inventory, then organize your records so it is decluttered and findable, and then take a closer look at your inventory to determine if anything needs to be “fixed” or updated to be “new improved.” My workshop gives you that double-check in case you’re wondering, “Am I missing anything?”

Passing the Baton

Lastly, remember that someday you will pass the baton on to someone else (that you have hopefully identified in your estate planning documents) to carry the torch of being your “financial housekeeper.” Make that job easier for them by taking action now to get your financial house in order and communicating with them about their role.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Is your financial spring cleaning done or still waiting for you? What have you been busy with as your own “financial housekeeper”? What advice can you share with our community? Let’s have a discussion!

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9 Benefits Boomer Women Can Find in an Encore Career

encore-career

For many elder boomers, like me, the outdated model of retirement isn’t a good fit today. We’re healthier and living longer than prior generations.

Most of us don’t want to just sit in a porch rocking chair gazing at the sunset, play golf continuously, eat boring lunches at the Senior Center, or live like we’re on vacation every single day. We want to remain relevant, with meaning and purpose in our later life as we continue to learn and grow.

Indeed, many studies have found that people who retire early and do not remain active and engaged, tend to die sooner – including a study from Oregon State University.

My Story

Years ago, I thought I’d work to my mid-60s and then retire from my successful financial planning business with my husband to focus on family, volunteering, and some travel.

But my plan was disrupted when he died two months after being diagnosed with cancer – right after my 60th birthday. His death was the start of my wilderness grief journey and transformation, ultimately leading to my encore career that I love today.

Soon after his death, I started focusing my work at Rehl Financial Advisors on helping other widows. That included writing articles about widows and money. I was even asked to write a professional column every other month, which reached thousands.

Soon afterward, I started writing a book, which took more than a year to complete and publish. Moving Forward on Your Own: A Financial Guidebook for Widows led to many interviews by journalists writing for popular publications. Lots of invitations to speak followed, and I accepted these across the country.

I wanted to help other widows and their financial advisors. But I was losing money on every event I attended – paying my own expenses! Sure, I was selling books at these events, but that income was paltry compared to travel costs and lost revenue while I was away from my primary job.

So, I went back to school, enrolling in the local Speakers Academy of the National Speaker’s Association. There I learned how to make a business from my speaking, plus honing my presentation skills.

Working with my coach, I decided to sell my financial planning business, so I could transition into more speaking, writing, mentoring, and research work. For me, that was a great decision I made six years ago.

Today I also continue writing and assisting financial journalists with stories about widows. Now at age 75, I love this lifestyle and encore career.

Financial Benefits and More from My Encore Career

My encore career allows me to:

  • Receive income for work I love doing as I help others.
  • Maximize my Social Security monthly income by 32% by starting at age 70 rather than 66.
  • Increase my financial net worth, since I can contribute to my solo 401K and Roth IRA retirement accounts even though I’m over age 70½.
  • Increase my ability to financially help my children and grandchildren.
  • Travel to fun cities, where I also meet interesting people, while my sponsor pays most expenses.
  • Do projects that are meaningful to me and say “no” to others.
  • Work as much or as little as I want.
  • Use skills honed over a lifetime, integrating them in new, creative ways.
  • Keep my brain mentally active.

The Biggest Drawbacks for Me

For me, there are a couple of drawbacks, namely:

  • A bit less flexibility for some spontaneous activities; solution is to carefully monitor my calendar and not overcommit.
  • Travel may be tricky, with flights frequently canceled, rescheduled, or delayed; solution is to allow extra time, just in case.

Get Creative and Go for Your Own Encore Career!

Think about transitioning into your encore career over time, rather than jumping in after leaving your job. Perhaps you can downshift from a full-time professional position into a part-time role. Maybe you can remain on as a consultant or project worker.

You can stay engaged with work and get a partial paycheck plus lots of free time. Or, take a leap and go for something completely new that you love! Run your numbers to see if this is a good fit, financially and personally.

A Note of Caution

If you’re thinking about starting your own business, try it on for size first. For example, do a non-paid “internship” at your local coffee shop before starting a franchise and spending tens of thousands of dollars only to discover you’re working harder than you did before and not liking it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What kind of encore career would you like to pursue? How is it working out for you? Please share your experience with our community.

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Amanda Batula’s Black Flower Bikini Top

Amanda Batula’s Black Flower Bikini Top / Summer House Season 8 Episode 8 Fashion

Whether you like it or not swimsuit season is upon us. But even if ya don’t, seeing Amanda Batula’s black flower bikini top on tonight’s Summer House is sure to change your mind. This top perfectly mixes catwalk and boardwalk making the ultimate stylish beach-y look. And we’re in luck because it’s still in stock which means we can have the SAME bikini as her for summer.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess


Amanda Batula's Black Flower Bikini Top

Style Stealers






Originally posted at: Amanda Batula’s Black Flower Bikini Top

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