Month: April 2024

Danielle Olivera’s Tan Backless Jumpsuit / Summer House Season 8 Episode 10 Fashion

I think it’s safe to say Danielle Olivera had quite the interesting night on last night’s Summer House. And while she was saying bye to Joe The Balloon Guy, we want to say hello to the tan backless jumpsuit she was wearing to do so. This is such a cool girl lounge look that is great for anytime of year. And it’s one that you will def want to escort into your bedroom closet.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Originally posted at: Danielle Olivera’s Tan Backless Jumpsuit

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Originally posted at: Heather Gay’s Pink Palm Tree Print Shirt

At this stage in life, many women find themselves weighing the idea of searching for the “Perfect Man” who fulfills all their desires against the reality of finding a “Real Man” who isn’t perfect but has what’s important for creating a good, mature love relationship.

Let’s Start with the Idea of the “Perfect Man”

His image usually comes from the fairy tales we read as children. After my divorce, long before I was a dating coach for women over 50, my idea of a perfect man was Prince Charming. He’d come in and sweep me off my feet, pay for everything, and we would live happily ever after and never argue.

While this idea is funny now, we all have them. And the problem with Perfect Man visions like the one I shared is they can lead to impossible standards that get in the way of forming real connections with a good man.

Rom-coms have also done a masterful job painting a picture of perfect romance where the leading man embodies the ideal combination of looks, charm, and flawlessness. It’s important to realize that life doesn’t follow a perfect script, and it’s actually the flaws and imperfections that make relationships more real and a lot more interesting.

Let’s Move Now to Mr. Real

Mr. Real may have some baggage (let’s be honest here, we all do), and he may not have the looks of a movie star, but he has the depth, reliability, and genuine affection that can sustain a long-term relationship. He’s the man with whom life can be lived, not just dreamt about. And he’s the guy who steps up to make your life better.

So, a Question for You: Are You Looking for Companionship or Perfection?

The truth is perfection is both fleeting and subjective. What really sustains a relationship over the long term, especially later in life, is true companionship and compatibility. Mr. Real knows this, and he is more interested in building a genuine connection than in upholding an image.

So How Do You Identify These 2 Types in Real Life?

Let me give you some pointers you may find helpful.

Reassess Your Checklist

You want a man who shares your core values. He can have everything on a Qualities Check List and the relationship goes nowhere because you don’t live life on the same page.

Embrace Growth Together

As we age, we are still capable of growth and change. A commitment to evolve side by side often matters more than having a checklist filled with Mr. Perfect’s attributes.

Give a Good Man a Chance

Be open to getting to know someone who might not immediately seem to be your type. My clients tell me all the time they’d never have seen their guy in the past because they were so focused on their old type. Yet, by going out of their comfort zone, they ended up in the best relationship of their life.

It’s All About Your Willingness to Go for It

The dilemma with all of this lies in wrestling with your deep seated beliefs of the “Perfect Man” and a willingness to open yourself up to the possibility that “Real Men” can provide the substance and genuine intimacy that truly enrich relationships.

It’s also important to let go of fairytale narratives and understand that every individual comes with their own set of unique attributes and imperfections. The beauty of mature love is in embracing these differences and finding joy in the reality of who someone truly is.

And setting realistic expectations doesn’t mean settling for less; it means understanding and accepting that nobody is perfect. It involves recognizing that a strong relationship is built on mutual respect, affection, and the ability to face life’s challenges together – not on a checklist of ideal traits.

When you focus on the real, you allow yourself the joy of being pleasantly surprised by someone’s ability to love you in ways you hadn’t even thought to look for. Real men have real strengths, and often it’s these unscripted qualities that make for the strongest companions in the adventures you share together.

Try embracing the idea that perfect is not necessary, but real is essential. Switching the focus from finding Mr. Perfect to appreciating Mr. Real can lead to a more fulfilling and grounded relationship that stands the test of time. And keep in mind, that it’s never too late to find someone to share life’s next chapter with, filled with genuine moments, shared laughter, and a true partnership. It just takes looking at it in a different way than you had in the past. When you do, you could end up in the best relationship of your life!

Also read, 5 REASONS YOU’RE STRUGGLING TO FIND MR. RIGHT AFTER 60.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you been going after the same type of man all your life? Was that type similar to Prince Charming from the fairy tales? Have you met a Real Man that you were afraid to give a chance and now regret your insecurity? Or perhaps you have found the man who makes you smile and feel cherished?

My husband and I were a Match.com pair made in heaven. Twenty years ago, when we met, I was a public school reading specialist, and he was a rare book dealer. We clicked immediately at our first rendezvous, and we’ve been going strong ever since! Our home is full of books. My shelves hold life-changing fiction, the spiritual, and the esoteric. His collection emphasizes history, personal redemption stories, and antiquarian books.

The iPad Took Over Our Reading Life

A few weeks ago, I noticed that we had stopped regularly reading books. We both have iPads, due to the discontinuation of newspaper delivery in our semi-rural area. As anyone living in the modern age knows, those devices are like “crack,” luring us in with the news, connections to friends and family, and a quick source for research of anything our Magic 8 Ball brains can conjure.

According to a July 2021 Thinkwithgoogle.com post, a majority of seniors spend 6 hours each day online, mainly using devices to stay in touch with others, to organize finances, and to improve health and wellness.

I must admit our purposes for using the iPads don’t match our demographic, but those devices still get a workout! We are Never-Social-Media-Seniors. But I am following trusted news sites all through the day, and my husband is completing business-related tasks, such as researching and buying photos and ephemera.

What Do the Statistics Say About Reading Books?

The statistics vary, but here is a sampling. In an effort not to be a book snob, all formats of book reading are considered equal: physical books, e-books, and audio books.

In 2023, according to an Economist/YouGov poll, out of 1500 respondents, 46% read zero books and 5% read 1 book. The news is a bit rosier for boomers. According to a July 2022 Wordsrated.com survey, our demographic read, on average, 9.54 books per year. I know my husband and I are easily in that cohort, but as two people who earned their livings as literary cheerleaders, we were hanging our heads in shame, because our iPads superseded books daily.

How Is Internet Reading Different Than Book Reading?

As someone who has spent the greater part of her adult life teaching people to skim and scan, it is no surprise that internet reading is quick, but shallow. It is more of a searching process topped off with a layer of evaluation. It is somewhat like browsing in an enormous store, but with unending distractions: pop-up adds, I’m talking to you!

Book reading is a much deeper process. The reader is engaging with the text in a thoughtful manner. There is critical reflection, the drawing of inferences, implicit meanings to discover, and personal connections to make. It is a slow journey, rather than a quick romp.

What Is the Value of Reading Books?

No doubt anyone who has ever fallen in love with a book has noticed its “immersive” quality. Immersion is that feeling which transports the reader into the story and makes them feel as if they are there!

How is this done? Books have a full menu of sensory detail and provide strong connections to character and setting. They poke the reader’s emotions and encourage movie-like visualizations. The good ones are unpredictable and pique our curiosity!

What Type of Reader Are You?

Kaelyn Barron on tckpublishing.com describes 15 types of readers. Can you find yourself in this grouping? The Serial Binge Reader is like her counterpart bingeing Netflix offerings each evening. Once she gets her hands on an author or genre, she can’t hold back!

The Highbrow eschews mass market books and those intended for beach reading. Ms. Fickle tires easily, and jumps from book to book without finishing most. The Nonfiction Nerd doesn’t want to waste time reading fiction, because there is never enough time to learn something new. The Catharsis Seeker is always looking for her elusive self in other characters.

Other reading types include: the E-book Denier, the Film Buff, the Repeat Reader, the Book Clubber, the Vacation Reader and the Hopeless Romantic.

The Case Is Made, But Where Is the Road Back?

A regular habit of leisurely reading books is an enduring lifestyle. It implies intellect, curiosity, patience, and commitment. The signs in a home are unmistakable: cozy chairs, warm throws, the right lighting, and of course the ubiquitous bookshelves, maybe in most rooms of the house!

If book reading is not happening in this stage of your life, oddly enough, suggestions abound online!

1. Keep a book bucket list.
2. Carry a book with you during auspicious occasions such as a long commute or a visit to a doctor’s office.
3. Don’t feel pressure to finish a bad book.
4. Carve out a regular no-screen time of day for reading.
5. Read a variety of genres at the same time; some genres require a smaller time commitment.
6. Get comfy – the right chair, the right lighting, a cozy wrap.
7. Set a personal goal of how many pages or a specific amount of time you will read at the beginning of each session.
8. Try different formats – audiobooks, e-books, physical books.

We’ve all been alive for decades before the internet and screens were invented. No doubt there is a glorious pool of memories of the many book experiences we’ve had as children and adults. Do you remember bringing home the maximum number of books allowed from the library on a lazy summer day? Are there a few pivotal books that still remain in your heart? Can you remember moments of unexplained serendipity in a bookstore? It just may be time to revive your literary life!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you still consider yourself a “reader?” Is that term current for you? What obstacles make reading books more difficult? When was the last time you browsed the bookstore or library and ended up with a stack you wanted to buy/check out?

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Photo: @therealmargaretjosephs

Originally posted at: Margaret Josephs’ Blue Swirl Print Gown