Month: May 2024

Lindsay Hubbard’s Orange Crop Top and Jeans / Summer House Season 8 Finale Fashion

Well if it isn’t Lindsay Hubbard looking like an orange cutie in her crop top on tonight’s Summer House. I’m going to miss seeing her outfits every week, especially her more casual ones like this t shirt and jeans. Its just such a great go-to ‘fit for anytime of year. And I rounded up the deets on it below because I detect you want it for yourself.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Originally posted at: Lindsay Hubbard’s Orange Crop Top and Jeans

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Originally posted at: Summer House Season 8 Still in Stock

Losing a spouse is a challenging and transformative experience. Your partner’s death can reshape your life. I get it. It happened to me when my late husband, Tom, passed 17 years ago. His death was the most devastating event I ever faced.

Discovering your own voice, embracing new freedoms, and living life to the fullest are all important aspects of navigating this new chapter, which goes beyond just learning to live with loss. I want to share three important secrets of resilient widows to assist other women to not only survive after their spouse’s death… but also to thrive after grief.

Read on if you’re a widow or looking to that time ahead when you may be a surviving spouse. You also may find this article helpful in supporting a widowed friend or relative on her new journey.

#1. Don’t Stay Stuck: Accept Healing and Growth

The grieving process is unique to each widow, but one common pitfall many women face is the temptation to remain stuck in grief. While mourning is a natural and necessary part of the healing journey, dwelling in it for too long can hinder personal growth and block the emergence of a refreshed sense of self.

Widows can break free from potential emotional stagnation by engaging in the healing process. Seeking support from friends, family, or professional counselors can provide a safe space for expressing emotions and gaining valuable insights. Joining support groups tailored for widows can be beneficial. Connecting with others who share similar experiences fosters a sense of community and understanding. This helps transform your grief into a purposeful future.

Thousands of widows have helped other women through two outstanding organizations with local and virtual social chapters: Modern Widows Club and Soaring Spirits International. Indeed, I’ve been invited to speak at national conferences hosted by both of these groups.

#2. Live on Your Own Terms: Rediscover Independence

I found one of the most empowering aspects of widowhood was the opportunity to rediscover and embrace my independence. After years of shared life decisions and responsibilities, learning to live on my own terms was both liberating and daunting.

Reclaim Your Identity

Marriage often involves compromises and shared identities. When you find yourself alone, it’s an opportunity to reconnect with your personal interests and passions. What activities did you enjoy before marriage? What new hobbies or skills have you always wanted to explore?

Exploring new interests or revisiting old hobbies can be a powerful way to redirect focus and energy. Whether it’s picking up a paintbrush, or participating in a local book club, engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment helps to create a positive trajectory for the future. For me, enrolling in continuing education programs and earning advanced certifications gave me additional professional capabilities I valued.

Independence takes on a whole new meaning for mature widows. Living on your own terms after loss requires a deliberate and conscious effort to redefine and assert your identity. It’s not a matter of simply settling for what’s tolerable.

Embrace Solitude

Learning to enjoy solitude is a vital part of rediscovering independence. This doesn’t mean isolating yourself, but rather finding peace and contentment in your own company. Solitude can be a time for introspection, personal growth, and self-care. It can be as simple as enjoying a cup of tea while reading a book, going for a walk, or meditating. After Tom’s death, I learned to meditate, which continues to be a part of my daily routine many years later.

Make Your Own Decisions

Widowhood forces you to become the sole decision-maker, which can be intimidating but also empowering. From financial decisions to lifestyle choices, taking control of your life fosters a sense of autonomy and confidence. Seek advice when needed, but trust in your ability to steer your life in the direction that feels right for you.

Deciding to sell my home and buy a condo with my friend was a formidable decision. But ultimately, it brought me a sense of accomplishment and freedom. My new residence was much easier to maintain, and I could walk to interesting museums, art galleries, music venues, live theater, and my congregation in this new community.

#3. Invest in Yourself: Nurture Mind, Body, Soul, and Money

A third secret to a resilient life is investing in yourself – caring for your mind, body, and soul. This holistic approach to self-care ensures you are living a balanced and fulfilling life.

Continuous Learning

Engaging your mind through ongoing learning keeps you mentally sharp and curious about the world. Take a class in a subject that interests you, attend workshops, or even learn a new language before traveling to a foreign country – maybe with other solo older women travelers. I enrolled in a writers’ group where I learned new skills and met an interesting community of like-minded individuals.

Physical Well-being

Caring for your health is crucial. Regular exercise, a nutritious diet, and sufficient rest are foundational to feeling good in your body. Find activities you enjoy, such as Pilates, swimming, or walking in nature. Physical well-being enhances your mood and energy levels, contributing to an overall sense of well-being. I joined the YMCA, with my health insurance paying membership dues. I also love to bicycle when I can. Exercise is my happy drug of choice!

Spiritual and Emotional Care

Nurturing your soul is just as important as caring for your mind and body. Engage in practices that bring you peace and joy, such as meditation, prayer, or spending time outside. Building a support system through friendships, support groups, or therapy can provide emotional nourishment and help navigate the complexities of widowhood. Once a month I meet with my small covenant group at church. This is an important spiritual connection for me.

Mind Your Money Matters

Our study, which was published in the Journal of Financial Planning, examined widows’ self-empowerment. We found that losing a spouse can have a devastating financial effect on the widow who is left behind, particularly if the deceased spouse was the more financially empowered partner in the marriage.

Financial independence will be a crucial part of your journey. Assess your money situation, set realistic goals, and seek professional advice if needed to empower you to make informed decisions. Understanding your financial landscape allows you to navigate this new chapter with confidence and resilience.

After your initial heavy grief stage, you’ll be ready for financial growth. Here’s a free Financial Steps for Recent Widows eBooklet that may be helpful in the early stages of widowhood. Also check out the outstanding free WISER Widowhood Resources information provided by the Women’s Institute for a Secure Retirement. You can also find links to many articles I’ve written about widows and money on my website.

Celebrate Small Wins

Celebrate your progress and victories along the way. Recognize and appreciate the resilience and strength you’ve shown in rebuilding your life. These celebrations reinforce your self-worth and motivate you to continue investing in yourself. One of my favorite ways to celebrate is to enjoy a small, yummy cup of blackberry-lemon twist ice cream from the local Dairy Haus.

I Wish You Well on Your Widow’s Path

Embracing life on your own terms as a mature widow can be a journey of resilience, not settling for less than you deserve, and self-care. By not staying stuck, rediscovering your independence, and investing in yourself, you can lead a fulfilling and vibrant life. Granted, this will be a different life. And it can be a good life.

My experience has taught me that while the path may be challenging, it’s also filled with opportunities for growth, joy, and new beginnings. Whether you find love again like me when I remarried five years ago… or continue on a solo journey, know that your life is a precious canvas—paint it with the colors bringing you happiness and fulfillment.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What suggestions would you give new widows to enhance their resilience? If you’ve experienced widowhood, how is your journey going? What helpful advice did you receive from other widows after your spouse’s death? Please join the conversation.

The ravens love my neighbors. Every week, their trash bin overflows with evidence of their huge family, spilling the remnants of their life out and onto the street. The lid is always open, supported by at least a foot of waste that didn’t fit any other way. On a windy day, much of this overflow ends up at my house, yard, flower beds, or lawn. The ravens perch on the rim of the garbage bin, pulling out choice pieces of trash to the ground so they can look closely at what might be inside. Spreading garbage all over the street.

Did you know that ravens are brilliant creatures? They’re known for their problem-solving skills, ability to use tools of many kinds, and highly high social intelligence. Sometimes, I wonder what those ravens are thinking. Do they have a system for predicting which items are more likely to contain food? They’re pretty good at unwrapping and opening, and I wonder where their limit is. Part of me wants to fill my trashcan with carefully wrapped gifts for them, all with food inside, to see just what they’re capable of accomplishing. 

It used to bother me, all this garbage all over the place. Now, I find humor in its place. And material. I think about it, possibly too much, as you can probably see, and I write about it. About everything else that I find interesting, unusual, extraordinary, or frustrating. It’s a different way of being and thinking, and it takes the edge off everything, even before I write about it. It’s a fantastic release for letting go of stress. If you want it to be.

Have You Ever Considered Writing?

If you’re on the fence or haven’t even approached the gate, here are a few reasons you may want to consider writing for personal growth and long-term health.

1. Writing can be an emotional outlet, helping reduce stress by allowing you to process and express feelings. This can lead to a sense of relief and improved mood.
2. Reflective writing, such as journaling, can help manage depression and anxiety by providing a space for self-reflection and emotional processing.
3. Writing can help you work through problems systematically, improving decision-making skills and cognitive functioning.
4. Writing things down helps reinforce memory and learning. It can make it easier to recall information and understand complex concepts.
5. Creative writing stimulates the brain, fostering creativity and imagination, which can improve overall cognitive health.
6. Stress reduction from writing can lower blood pressure and heart rate, contributing to cardiovascular health.
7. By reducing stress and anxiety, writing can help improve sleep quality, essential for overall physical health.
8. Reducing stress through writing can positively impact the immune system, making the body more resilient against illnesses.
9. Writing about thoughts and feelings increases self-awareness, which can lead to better emotional regulation and healthier relationships.
10. Writing down goals and tracking progress can help achieve personal aspirations, leading to a sense of accomplishment and enhanced self-esteem.
11. Writing can improve communication skills, making it easier to express thoughts and feelings effectively in social interactions.

There are many ways to write, and all of them are beneficial.

Journaling: Regularly writing about daily experiences and emotions.

Gratitude Journaling: Focusing on things you’re grateful for enhances positivity.

Creative Writing: Engaging in fiction, poetry, or other creative forms of writing.

Reflective Writing: Writing about personal experiences to gain insights and self-awareness.

Expressive Writing: Writing freely about thoughts and feelings without worrying about grammar or structure.

How to Make the Most of Writing

Here are some tips to help you maximize the benefits of writing.

Create a Comfortable Space

Choose a quiet, comfortable place where you feel relaxed and focused. Use a journal or digital device that you are comfortable with. Some people prefer the tactile feel of pen and paper, while others like typing. I like both, depending on my mood.

Start with Prompts if You Want

Use prompts to help you get started, especially if you need help with what to write about. Prompts can be questions about your day, feelings, or specific topics like gratitude or goals.

Examples: “What am I grateful for today?”, “What is one challenge I faced, and how did I handle it?” “Describe a happy memory.”

Gratitude Journaling

Spend a few minutes each day writing about things you are grateful for. This can shift your focus from negative to positive aspects of life. Be specific about what you are thankful for and why. This deepens the practice and makes it more meaningful.

Reflect on Emotions

Write about your feelings. Acknowledge both positive and negative emotions without judgment. Use writing to process complex emotions and understand why you feel a certain way.

Engage in Creative Writing

Write fiction, poetry, or creative non-fiction. Creative writing allows you to express yourself uniquely, fostering a sense of accomplishment and joy.

Be Honest and Authentic

Write honestly about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Authentic writing is more effective for emotional release and self-discovery.

Use Reflective Writing

Reflect on past experiences to learn from them. Write about lessons learned, personal growth, and future aspirations. This can provide a sense of direction and purpose.

Incorporate Mindfulness

Focus on the present moment while writing. Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings.

Don’t Pressure Yourself

Don’t pressure yourself to write perfectly or have profound insights every time. The goal is the process, not the product. Allow yourself to skip days if needed. Writing should be a helpful tool, not a source of stress. Don’t feel compelled to create a schedule. Write when you feel like it.

I had no idea when I took my dog out for a walk this morning that garbage day would give me an idea for a post here, but I love that it did. Writing is magical in that way. It makes you more observant and lets you deal with the negative in a healthier way. Not every time, mind you. But those moments are surprisingly frequent and completely worthwhile.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you ever tried using writing as a way to manage stress or process emotions? What was your experience like? Which of the benefits of writing mentioned in the article resonates most with you and why? Do you think everyone has a book in them?

Photo: @madisonlecroy

Originally posted at: Madison LeCroy’s Light Blue Belted Shirt Dress