Month: June 2024

Photo: @kikibarth

Originally posted at: Kiki Barth’s Red Sequin Cutout Dress

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Photo: @paige_desorbo

Originally posted at: Paige DeSorbo’s Gingham Bikini Top

There’s something comforting about my slow transition into a couch potato with my water bottle and a pack of baked chips in hand. It’s my way of winding down after a day of engaging with lovely humans. I appreciate psychological stories and was intrigued by one Netflix miniseries.

If you shy away from dark and intense, with a satisfying resolution to the horror of homelessness, racism, human trafficking, mental illness, and cruel parenting, this is not for you. But if you can handle realism, outstanding acting, and a window into character arcs that you’re glad you witnessed, get your popcorn and tissues.

ERIC Miniseries

The series ERIC, featuring the talents of seasoned actors, introduces us to a miserable puppeteer, Vincent Anderson, played by Benedict Cumberbatch, who self-destructs after his son goes missing following another explosive argument with his distraught wife, Cassie, played by Gaby Hoffman.

When Edgar goes missing, Vincent finds his son’s depictions of a polar bear-sized blue furry monster named ERIC. In Vincent’s mental decline, ERIC becomes the delusion of his self-loathing as well as his solution to finding Edgar.

NYPD missing persons Detective Ledroit, played by McKinley Belcher III, leads the search for Edgar, the protagonist of the back story. How does an ominous blue furry character named ERIC, a missing child, a rotten marriage, and a gay police officer inspire us to want to do better as humans? Without spoiling your viewing experience, I can tell you that it most certainly does make us both broken and healed. This miniseries made me want to “do better” in a world where safety and belonging are cherished commodities.

Film Represents Real Life

Maybe you’ve read some of my other articles where I focus on family dysfunction that culminates in estrangement. Many film projects naturally emulate life situations, and I’m wired to look for examples demonstrating how messy relationships appear. What poked me most about this series is not just the apparent awful relationship between Vincent and his son, Edgar. But also, how Edgar internalizes his parents’ behaviors and his father’s emotional angst. I promised not to spoil so you will want to watch all six episodes to discover what happens.

I can tell you that I have yet to meet anyone in my practice who does not want to belong, be safe, be loved, and valued. Family rifts and conflict can leave scars that need to be healed. Excellent films can organize and help catapult our healing process, where our grief shows up on the screen, and there’s a version of an ending we can accept.

More importantly, series such as ERIC and the apparent dysfunction of Edgar’s family illuminate how emotional harm is insidious. With a paralleled backstory highlighting corruption and heinous acts towards children, we can enlarge our capacity to empathize – if only to do and be better in our community.

It Is Never One-Sided

I’m always struck by the human tendency to invalidate someone’s perspective of their childhood experiences. When watching, notice the interaction between Vincent and any of his puppeteers. He was just unable to hear anything besides his perspective. Likewise, his mom and dad were like this as well. It alerts me to what I see on the estrangement front, with parents calling their adult children and others like them entitled and selfish.

On the contrary, we have the intolerance or disbelief of adult children who don’t want to consider that maybe a parent was not the monster, and there were other factors, such as alienation, that contributed to the breakdown of the relationship. I have joined the ranks of similar behaviors and share my short comings with frustration. I see this play out in our culture and social networks; the divisive and opinionated atmosphere with little room for empathy and understanding that there may be another way to look at a situation.

From Division to Understanding

As a messenger devoted to presenting an unbiased collection of research, anecdotes, and strategies, I envision bridging the gap from division to understanding. We live in a world where it is so hard to have civil, polite conversations without vitriol. Do we need to be so black and white? How do we make a difference at the most basic level? Can there be repair of very broken relationships? Can society accept and not castigate those who made mistakes?

What Does ERIC Have to Do with It?

Remember the boy, Edgar, who went missing? It turns out his dad, Vincent, was also a creative genius who imagined all the characters in a pseudo-Sesame Street Show. Those of us with grown adult children remember feeling so safe when we propped our kids in front of Sesame Street. Vincent found a way to honor children and teach them valuable lessons.

Nevertheless, for Vincent, all that became the ‘monster’ within him, also birthed this lovely legacy that honored belonging, safety, and finding hope. The series brings the viewer face to face with inhumanity and the conflict of how one navigates the ugly inevitability of its existence. ERIC is also an artistic gift, where tragedy and trauma can transform an individual into doing better for oneself, their family, and their community.

Learning from Books and Movies

If I am honest, I get inspired a lot by books or films. Sometimes I follow that train of inspiration steadfast and work towards changing. There are times, when I fall face first into the mud of forgetfulness, loss of interest, or busyness. With this series, I was so intrigued by the acting, story, and ideas made real on screen that I watched it twice.

Being attached to family well-being at the individual and family level, it spoke to my curiosity for understanding the characters and what I could learn. It reminded me that families and people can be fragile and resilient. Everyone can recount times wanting to belong, of inner turmoil and family challenges. We can align with knowing that if we have made it into our 60s, we have overcome a lot of difficulties and we are not those same people we were back in the 1980s. Having communicated with this community, I know we are a resilient bunch who take their well-being seriously.

A Study of the Human Condition

In the end, Netflix’s miniseries ERIC offers more than just an evening of entertainment; it provides a profound exploration of the human condition. The series masterfully addresses complex themes such as homelessness, racism, human trafficking, mental illness, and family dysfunction, challenging viewers to confront uncomfortable realities.

Through exceptional performances and compelling storytelling, ERIC illuminates the insidious nature of emotional harm and the pervasive need for empathy and understanding in our social connections. It reminds us that even in our darkest moments, there is potential for healing and transformation.

As we reflect on Vincent’s journey and the emotional turmoil that accompanies it, we are encouraged to recognize our own vulnerabilities and strive for betterment in our relationships and communities. This series is a poignant reminder that, despite our flaws and past mistakes, there is always room for growth, empathy, and the possibility of a hopeful legacy.

If you are interested in a conversation of how I help families to repair, and individuals to work through their estrangement, you can learn more at my website. I also offer an on demand course called  Embracing Renewal to guide you step by step towards transformative wellness when estranged.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing themselves.” —Leo Tolstoy and Edgar

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you a fan of realistic films or series? If so, what films or series can you share that were meaningful for you? How do you think your own childhood experiences have shaped your perspective on family relationships and conflicts depicted in series like ERIC? In what ways do you believe watching emotionally intense and realistic dramas can contribute to personal growth and understanding of complex social issues?

Are you turning 70? Do you know someone who is going to be 70? Turning 70 is a milestone worth celebrating in grand style. It’s a time to reflect on a life well-lived and embrace new adventures and experiences. What better way to mark this occasion than with a memorable trip!

Here is our list of trip experiences that are perfect for a 70th birthday:

1. Luxury Train Journey on the Venice Simplon-Orient-Express – How about an unforgettable journey aboard the iconic Venice Simplon-Orient-Express? Experience the glamor of vintage carriages, gourmet dining, and scenic landscapes as you travel through Europe in style.
2. River Cruise along the Danube – Go on a leisurely river cruise along the Danube, passing through charming European cities like Vienna, Budapest, and Prague. Enjoy cultural excursions, onboard entertainment, and breathtaking views of historic landmarks from the comfort of a luxurious riverboat.
3. Northern Lights Expedition in Iceland – Fulfill a bucket list dream with a magical journey to Iceland to witness the mesmerizing Northern Lights. Stay in cozy lodges, explore volcanic landscapes, and soak in geothermal hot springs under the dancing auroras in the Arctic sky.
4. Culinary Tour of Tuscany, Italy – Indulge your passion for food and wine with a culinary tour of Tuscany. Savor authentic Italian cuisine, participate in cooking classes with local chefs, and explore charming medieval towns in rolling vineyards and olive groves.
5. Luxury Spa Retreat in Bali, Indonesia – Get pampered with a rejuvenating spa retreat in Bali, known for its lush tropical landscapes and ancient healing traditions. Stay in a luxurious resort and indulge in Balinese massages and wellness treatments.

Continue reading to discover more fun trip ideas for a 70th birthday. 

How to Choose a Destination for a 70th Birthday

Choosing the perfect destination for a 70th birthday requires careful consideration to ensure the celebration is tailored to the individual’s preferences, interests, and physical capabilities. 

Consult the Birthday Person

Start by having a conversation with the birthday person to understand their preferences and desires for their special day. Do they prefer relaxation or adventure? Are there any specific destinations they’ve always dreamed of visiting? 

Consider Mobility and Health

Take into account the birthday person’s mobility and health condition. Choose a destination that offers activities and amenities suitable for their physical capabilities. If necessary, opt for destinations with accessible accommodations and transportation options.

Reflect on Interests

Think about the birthday person’s interests and hobbies. Are they nature enthusiasts, history buffs, food lovers, or culture seekers? Select a destination that aligns with their passions and offers opportunities to indulge in activities they enjoy.

Factor in Travel Preferences

Consider the birthday person’s travel preferences, such as climate, scenery, and travel distance. Some individuals may prefer tropical beach getaways, while others may prefer scenic mountain retreats or even city experiences.

Explore Meaningful Locations

Explore destinations that hold sentimental value or personal significance to the birthday person. Whether it’s revisiting a childhood hometown, exploring ancestral roots, or fulfilling a long-held travel dream, choosing a meaningful location can make the birthday celebration even more special.

Check Special Offers and Packages

Look for special birthday offers and packages available at various destinations. Many hotels, resorts, and tour operators offer birthday perks, such as complimentary upgrades, spa treatments, or exclusive experiences, which can enhance the celebration.

Assess Travel Logistics

Evaluate the practical aspects of travel, such as transportation options, travel time, visa requirements, and budget considerations. Choose a destination that is easily accessible and fits within the birthday person’s travel budget.

Consider Group Dynamics

If the birthday celebration involves family or friends, consider the preferences and interests of other group members when choosing the destination. Opt for destinations that offer activities and attractions suitable for everyone to enjoy together.

Research Local Events and Festivals

Check the calendar for local events, festivals, or seasonal attractions happening at potential destinations during the birthday celebration. Attending a special event can add an extra layer of excitement and cultural immersion to the trip.

Seek Recommendations and Reviews

Gather recommendations from travel experts, friends, or online travel communities like Tripadvisor and Lonely Planet. Read reviews and testimonials from other travelers to gain insights into the destination’s suitability and quality of experiences.

Trip Ideas for a 70th Birthday

Whether the birthday gal is seeking relaxation, adventure, culture, or a combination of all three, there’s a perfect destination waiting to make her 70th birthday truly unforgettable. 

Luxury Train Journey on the Venice Simplon-Orient-Express

Take a remarkable journey aboard the Venice Simplon-Orient Express, a train known for its vintage charm and luxury. Travel through Europe in style, enjoying gourmet meals, stunning views, and elegant surroundings. 

Relax in plush cabins and lounge cars, dine on delicious cuisine, and explore scenic destinations along the route. This timeless experience promises unforgettable memories of indulgence and adventure.

River Cruise along the Danube

Go on a leisurely river cruise along the Danube, meandering through European cities such as Vienna, Budapest, and Prague. Join cultural excursions that bring history to life, delight in onboard entertainment, and savor panoramic vistas of iconic landmarks from the indulgent comfort of a luxurious riverboat. 

Whether it’s exploring centuries-old castles, sipping local wines on deck, or simply taking in the serene beauty of the river, this cruise promises an unforgettable journey filled with relaxation and discovery.

Northern Lights Expedition in Iceland

Go on a dream trip to Iceland to witness the mesmerizing Northern Lights. Stay in cozy lodges in Iceland’s rugged landscapes, offering warmth and comfort after days of exploration. On guided tours, explore ancient volcanoes, dramatic waterfalls, and sweeping lava fields. Relax in geothermal hot springs, letting the soothing warmth melt away cares under the dancing auroras above.

As night falls, marvel at the Arctic sky ablaze with vibrant colors of the Northern Lights. Wrapped in warm layers, step outside to witness nature’s spectacular light show, an unforgettable moment of cosmic beauty.

Culinary Tour of Tuscany, Italy

Delight in authentic dishes prepared by local chefs using fresh, seasonal ingredients. Participate in hands-on cooking classes to learn Tuscan cooking secrets. Explore charming medieval towns among rolling vineyards and olive groves and discover the region’s timeless charm.

Between culinary adventures, savor wine tastings at renowned wineries, sampling the finest Tuscan wines while learning about the art of winemaking from passionate vintners. 

Luxury Spa Retreat in Bali, Indonesia

Luxuriate in a lavish resort, where every detail is crafted to ensure total relaxation and rejuvenation. Indulge in the ancient art of Balinese massage and wellness rituals administered by skilled therapists trained in traditional techniques. Let tension melt away under the expert hands of practitioners, leaving you feeling refreshed and renewed.

Explore the island’s serene beauty with its verdant landscapes, beautiful beaches, and tranquil temples. Stroll through lush gardens, bask in the warm tropical sun, or explore hidden waterfalls and sacred sites scattered across the island.

With its blend of natural beauty and holistic wellness, a spa retreat in Bali offers a sanctuary for body, mind, and spirit. Perfect for a 70th birthday!

Road Trip along the Pacific Coast Highway, California, USA

Go on an epic road trip along California’s Pacific Coast Highway, winding through stunning coastal scenery and iconic landmarks like Big Sur and the Golden Gate Bridge. Explore charming seaside towns and pause at boutique wineries to sample local vintages amidst vineyard-dotted landscapes.

Discover farm-to-table cuisine at coastal eateries, savoring fresh seafood and organic produce. Along the way, soak in breathtaking ocean views from scenic overlooks and beaches, capturing the beauty of crashing waves and rugged cliffs.

With its blend of natural beauty and culinary delights, this road trip promises an unforgettable journey filled with cherished memories of California’s scenic wonders.

Cultural Immersion in Kyoto during Cherry Blossom Season, Japan 

Experience the magic of Japan’s cherry blossom season with a cultural immersion in Kyoto, the country’s ancient capital. Wander through temple gardens adorned with delicate pink blossoms, witnessing centuries-old traditions come to life.

Participate in traditional tea ceremonies, savor fragrant matcha tea, and learn about the art of mindfulness in every sip. As cherry blossoms paint the city in shades of pink, stroll the historic streets lined with blooming trees, capturing the fleeting beauty of Sakura in full bloom.

Kyoto, during cherry blossom season, offers a glimpse into Japan’s rich cultural heritage and the ephemeral beauty of nature, creating a truly magical experience to celebrate a 70th birthday.

Wellness Retreat in Costa Rica

Recharge your mind, body, and spirit with a wellness retreat in Costa Rica’s lush rainforests. Surround yourself with nature as you practice yoga, meditation, and holistic therapies in the tropical jungle. Indulge in organic cuisine crafted from locally sourced ingredients, nourishing your body and mind.

Explore Costa Rica’s biodiversity on eco-friendly excursions, from guided hikes through dense rainforest trails to wildlife spotting along rivers and waterfalls. Discover the country’s natural wonders, from majestic waterfalls to hidden beaches and cloud forests.

Feel the stress melt away as you reconnect with yourself and the world around you. Costa Rica’s rainforests provide the perfect setting for a 70th-birthday transformative retreat.

Historic Train Journey on the Rocky Mountaineer, Canada

Go on a breathtaking train adventure aboard the Rocky Mountaineer through the awe-inspiring Canadian Rockies. Travel through a landscape straight from a postcard, with glacier-fed lakes, snow-dusted peaks, and forests stretching as far as the eye can see.

As you wind through this rugged terrain, keep your camera ready to capture every stunning vista. From towering mountain peaks to cascading waterfalls and wildlife sightings, each moment offers a new perspective on the untamed beauty of the Rockies.

Relax in luxurious comfort onboard, with spacious seating and panoramic windows providing unparalleled views of the passing landscape. Whether enjoying a gourmet meal in the dining car or unwinding with a drink in the observation lounge, every detail is designed to enhance the 70th milestone experience.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you going to be 70 soon? Do you have a friend or family member meeting the milestone? What are you planning to commemorate the event? Have you been on any of the travel experiences from our list? Tell us about it in the comments section below.

I am sure you have heard many of these statements:

• What you think about, you bring about.
• Where your mind goes, so goes your life.
• If you see it, you can achieve it.

These all imply the power of your brain and the impact it can have on your life. And research continues to verify the positive results of visualization on desired outcomes. The best news to me is that we get to control our thoughts and what we visualize. It’s all about intentionally making a choice to think about, visualize, and then ideally act on whatever result you are seeking.

Sounds So Simple!

But we know most things aren’t that easy or everyone would be doing it. So let me offer some simple initial visualizations that may bring your awareness of good health habits back to the top of your mind and then provide an actionable idea that may help you implement those habits. Afterall, knowledge is great but without action, it does us no good.

Remember It, Visualize It, Act on It

For better overall health, which is ideal for an enjoyable retirement and also saves you money in the long run, here are several key areas with a visual for each one so you can remember it, visualize it, and then hopefully decide to act on it.

Reduce Your Stress

10 minutes of walking reduces your anxiety, it’s like giving your brain a bubble bath of positive neuro chemicals!

Action: Walk regularly and any time you need to reduce anxiety.

Get Adequate Sleep (7-8 Hours Each Night)

A good night’s sleep is like a dishwasher for your brain so if you don’t get through the full dishwasher/sleep cycle, it doesn’t clean thoroughly and leaves “gunk” behind in the brain.

Action: Set up your sleep environment and night time routine for uninterrupted sleep.

Minimize Your Soda Intake

Every sip of soda triggers an acid bath in your mouth. Soda offers calories but no nutrients and also creates an acidic environment in your mouth that can weaken tooth enamel. Poor oral health can impact your overall health.

Action: Reduce your soda intake, consume your soda in a relatively short period of time vs sipping it throughout the day, or rinse your mouth with water after drinking soda.

Exercise Every Day

Blood flow through the body helps the joints, muscles, and brain. Spin class (stationery bicycling), for example, is like WD-40 for the knees. I just read about a study in the UK that has shown that walking just 30 minutes a day can reduce the risk of dementia by up to 65%!

Action: Most health authorities suggest 30 minutes or more of moderate exercise on most days.

Listen to Music Regularly

Music acts like a performance enhancing drug! It can boost your mood, reduce stress, enhance learning and memory, support brain health, and positively influence your immune system.

Action: Turn on the tunes, it’s good for you!

There Is More We Can Do!

Hartford Funds has partnered over the years with the MIT AgeLab in an effort to enjoy a long and financially secure retirement, and the good news is that there is more we can do to help assure cognitive health than we originally thought. It’s these lifestyle choices that can have an important impact on keeping our brains clean, healthy, and feeling more youthful. We hope our retirement years (potentially half of our adult life) is not only long in quantity but also in quality.

So I offer these 5 little brain visualization that you can use as a reminder to take action:

• Walking is like giving your brain a bubble bath of positive neurochemicals.
• Sleep is like a dishwasher for your brain.
• Every sip of soda triggers an acid bath in your mouth.
• Spin class is like WD-40 for the knees.
• Music acts like a performance enhancing drug!

With my Mind, Money, Motion focus (the more we take care of our mind and body, the less we have to worry about running out of money), you can also find podcasts, videos, and other blogs on this topic of lifestyle impact. June is Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month, so what a perfect time to jump start a healthy habit for yourself!

Let’s Have a Discussion:

What visuals have helped you improve a health habit? Were there any facts or analogies that got your attention and motivated you to action? What can you share with our community for better health?