Month: July 2024

Photo: @melissagorga

Originally posted at: Melissa Gorga’s Ivory Gucci Hoodie

For women over 60 who struggle with food obsession and want to lose weight, the prospect of vacation can bring both excitement and anxiety.

Why do women over 60 feel anxiety about indulgent eating on summer vacations?

Figuring out how to balance having a great time with food and weight goals is even harder if you’ve been victim to a series of All or Nothing Diets for decades (where you either have to “eat perfectly” or “what’s the point?”).

All or Nothing Dieting stops you from trusting yourself around food as it disconnects you from physical and emotional signals related to hunger and fullness, causing you to rely on food as a primary source of pleasure and emotional comfort.

The vacation-food anxiety comes from not trusting yourself to order the salad or say “no” to the second scoop of ice cream due to the impact of All or Nothing Dieting, and knowing there will be many indulgent options available.

Understanding that All or Nothing Dieting is what has caused the dysfunctional relationship with food (not some inherent self-control issue within yourself) is the first step to making more balanced choices while on vacation.

Here are my 3 tips to help women over 50 curb indulgent eating on vacation:

Tip #1: Restriction Is Only Going to Make Things Worse for You (And It’s Not Your Fault)

One of the reasons All or Nothing Dieting leads to food obsession and weight gain is because of the forbidden fruit phenomenon.

Research shows that when you place foods on a “bad” list, you will be more preoccupied with thinking about them.

And then, if you eat that food, you’re likely to struggle with self-criticism and guilt because you should have “known better,” when in reality the preoccupation lights up motivation pathways in the brain so you feel more motivated to seek the food out.

The good news is that the best time to learn about what triggers you to eat and how to care for yourself without indulgent eating is after an eating incident.

Many women mistakenly believe if they don’t restrict themselves they will go off the rails with eating (this is an example of All or Nothing thinking because you don’t trust yourself around food).

The best way to prepare for your vacation without restriction, nor unfettered indulgence, is found in Tip #2…

Tip #2: Identify What Is Important to You Ahead of Time (And Give Yourself Permission to Indulge!)

This is my standard holiday or event advice: think about what indulgences are important to you to enjoy in advance, then give yourself permission to indulge and enjoy the heck out of the experience.

For example, if you’re in Paris, please don’t leave the city without savoring at least one croissant (and I’d be giving myself permission to enjoy at least one a day… but that’s me).

Or if ice cream at the beach brings back nostalgic memories of your childhood, make sure to relish a cone while on your beach vacation.

The secret to success here is the mindfulness required to think about what moments are important to you, and then to be present in the moment of enjoyment.

You will feel emotionally satisfied from your indulgence, so (as long as your physical needs are met) you won’t feel the need to eat more.

A note here: For some who are suffering from disordered eating or the effects of trauma, whether they be induced by diet or other life events, mindful indulgence may be anxiety producing because you either don’t feel safe with food or food is the thing that makes you feel safe.

In this case, you may need help from a professional before you can heal your relationship with food.

Tip #3: Eat Regularly, Especially Protein

It’s easy to skip meals due to a different routine, or believe we should skip meals before an indulgent dinner later.

In reality, skipping meals can increase your stress hormones, anxiety, and cause a much bigger appetite than you may have had otherwise.

Protein foods are a good way to keep your blood sugar stable.

Consider packing:

• Nuts
• Protein bars
• Hard boiled eggs
• Low-sugar Greek Yogurt
• Individual servings of tuna (look for pole-caught for lower mercury)
• Peanut butter packets (read ingredients and choose those without sugar)

If you want help to remember these tips next time you’re planning for a vacation (or wondering what happened after an indulgence), download my free worksheet, The #1 Strategy For Women In Midlife And Beyond To Stop Overeating Without Obsessing About Food.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What vacations are you looking forward to this summer? What food indulgences will you be giving yourself permission to enjoy? What snacks do you always have in your bag so you don’t get too hungry?

Welcome to Lesson 39, where we will talk about your repertoire, a.k.a., all the pieces you have learned so far!

[NOTE: If you are just joining us for the first time, you can find my previous Sixty and Me Free Piano Lessons on my Author pages. You can join our lessons any time and move at your own pace!]

39.1 What Pieces Will You Include in Your Repertoire?

As we near the end of our Sixty and Me lessons, I want you to think about maintaining a repertoire of songs and pieces to have ready to play for friends and family. (You can pronounce it as “RE-PER-TOIRE” or RE-PE-TWA”.) Trust me, people love to hear their loved ones play music.

You might feel that you aren’t yet ready to play for other people. Maybe you are thinking that you don’t want to perform for others until you can play your piece perfectly. But please don’t demand perfection of yourself, just as you don’t expect it in others. Just focus on your music, playing joyfully from your heart.

If you make mistakes be able to laugh at them. If you are at ease playing for people, they will enjoy your music. Nobody cares if you make a few mistakes, they will be listening to the notes that flow and will enjoy the melody and your growing proficiency at the piano. The more you play for others, the less nervous you will feel, and the easier it will become to play your pieces well. Make it part of your practice to play in front of others, or even when people are nearby doing other things.

39.2 Old French Song, p.94

I love this piece by the famous composer from the Romantic period, Pyotr Ilych Tchaikovsky (composer of The Nutcracker). Notice that Old French Song has a dark pensive sound, we call “minor.” You have been playing minor chords in your Exercises and Chord Calisthenics, as well as in Careless Love (p.91) and Santa Lucia (p.93), and you know that minor chords have a flatted 3^rd or middle note. I love the minor sound and you will learn more about minor chords (and many other chords) in Upper Hands Piano Books 2-4.

Passion Practice

1. Exercise #4 – Play Exercise#4 in C, G, D, A, E and B with your hands together. Remember that to play the Augmented chord at the end, you raise the top note (or 5^th) of the major triad ½ step.
2. p.94 – Old French Song – Practice the left-hand notes alone a few times before playing with hands together. Watch my slow demonstration video 39.2 above, and try playing along with me once you get comfortable with the notes. You can gradually speed up the tempo as you see fit, but it is not a fast piece. The tempo marking Andante at the beginning of the piece means to play at a walking tempo.
3. Review Barcarole p.88. Might you want to keep Barcarole in your repertoire? If not, is there another piece you might like to review for your repertoire? Review whatever calls to you this week.
4. Chord Calisthenics #5 – Play the minor and diminished triads in the third line, A-flat, E-flat, B-flat and F, and review the first two lines. See how many of these chords you can remember without looking at the letters.

What are some of your favorite songs and pieces you have played since starting your Sixty and Me piano lessons? Are there 2-3 pieces that stand out as your favorites? Your favorites are going to be the ones you are most likely to want to practice long-term in rotation (maybe practice one fav every few days). Start a list in the blank pages at the back of your book under the title, Repertoire. Start with 2-3 titles, and eventually you will be adding songs to your repertoire list.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Leave a comment below and share with us the songs you might include in your repertoire. They might be songs from our Upper Hands Piano Book 1, the extra songs you played from my website, or songs you might be playing on your own. We all LOVE hearing from you, and your list will inspire other Sixty and Me piano players!

Photo: @jennfessler

Originally posted at: Jenn Fessler’s Red Chain Embellished Sweatshirt

As I watch the world news each evening, I am reminded that I have so much for which to be thankful! I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a warm bed at night, and family and friends around me. Lots of love! I do not wake up to missile attacks or the sound of gunfire. I am not afraid to leave my home or to travel around our country. And I assume that I will see my partner again if we are apart, and I look forward to his embrace.

In 1941, President Franklin D. Roosevelt, in his State of the Union address, outlined a goal of “Four Freedoms”: freedom of speech and expression; the freedom of people to worship God in their own way; freedom from want; and freedom from fear. I am thankful for each of these freedoms, but I also realize that not every American can say the same.

Freedom of Speech and Expression

Because you are reading this blog, you are participating in the freedom of speech and expression, in this case mine. Did I have to worry about my words being censured? No. When I write about financial concepts, I must make sure that I stay within guidelines established by the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards because it is my choice to retain the CFP® professional designation. However, I restrict my blogs to financial literacy and education topics because I no longer am registered to give personal financial advice. That is my choice.

We are free to sing, say, write, or post what we want. Of course, there are watchdogs and legal restrictions to make sure that what we say does not cross boundaries such as indecency or libel, or in my case, unethical practices. With freedom comes responsibility and I am thankful that there are parameters to protect me, but especially to protect those who are vulnerable and cannot protect themselves.

However, it has become more difficult to decipher what is true and what is not from the abundance of information that is available. How do you know? In the financial world, my advice has always been to know your source and then double and triple check the facts. I think that makes sense for just about any topic.

Freedom to Worship God in Their Own Way

I grew up in what most people would call a religious community. My family went to church regularly. Most of my friends went to church, too, but not necessarily the same denomination. There was no synagogue or mosque in the small towns in which I grew up, but I was curious. I am thankful that when I started to question my beliefs, I could do so without any fear or threat of physical or emotional retaliation. My search continues to enlighten me.

That is not the case for everyone in the United States, however. Displays of anger and attacks on churches, synagogues, and mosques, are an example. Our country was settled by people seeking a better life – more opportunities for themselves and their families. Freedom to worship in the way they wished was a key factor. It still is!

Freedom from Want

When I look around me and see the size of homes in our communities, the food in our supermarkets, the cars that we drive, or the choices of clothes to wear, I am not surprised that many in the world want what we enjoy every day. Post-COVID, jobs are available in the U.S. in most fields for those who desire. Having gone that route in the past, I am also encouraged by those who decide to start their own business.

My appreciation of what we have and take for granted hit home one day when I awoke to the sound of police radios outside my central Phoenix bedroom window. When I cautiously peeked outside, I saw young people running. It was soon quiet. Later that day, as I drove out of my complex to run errands, I saw a group of young people seated on the ground surrounded by police. They were illegals smuggled into the U.S. by coyotes and then deserted when their van crashed in a police chase. The danger those young people faced left me with a heavy heart. Yes, they entered our country illegally. However, I understand the motive for a better, and in many cases, safer life.

Immigrants aside, I bet you do not have to travel far to see people living in poverty in our country. Every day I see homeless begging on street corners. Last Christmas, as my grandkids and I shopped for Christmas presents for children from the Salvation Army’s Angel Tree, we talked about how much the gifts would mean to families who otherwise could not afford to give their children anything. It was a fun and, I hope, a meaningful experience.

Freedom from Fear

We are so fortunate to live in a country where, for the most part, we can live free of fear of being accosted or murdered. There are some disturbing trends, however. No child should fear for their life when they go to school or attend a party or family gathering. None of us should.

A high school age boy in a community close to mine was recently beaten to death near where he attended a party. He was attacked by a group of boys about his age who had been picking victims randomly and accosting them for the “fun” of it. This was the “gang’s” first murder. The members of this loosely defined gang are not from the slums. They live in affluent, gated developments.

Earlier this year, a small community in my home state in the Midwest experienced a school shooting in which two people were killed and six injured. It was not the first school shooting of 2024 and, sadly, it was not the last. The United States has experienced far too many threats in schools.

I feel fortunate that I do not live in fear of my life or of an attack although I take precautions to protect myself, my property, and my home.

Freedom Rings

Despite the problems and issues that face our country, I am thankful to live in the United States of America and know that I am blessed with opportunities and choices not available to many in this world. However, we can, and need to, improve.

This month, as we celebrate our country, I challenge each of you to do what you can to ensure the Four Freedoms!

“Make up your mind that happiness depends on being free, and freedom depends on being courageous.”  —Pericles

Questions to Ponder and Comment on:

For what are you most thankful? Can you make a list of the top five? Do you have any fears? What can you do to confront and reduce those fears?