Month: July 2024

Originally posted at: Emily Simpson’s Black Leather Jacket

Looking for a birthday card to give my 75-year-old friend, I passed up almost every message featured in the card section of my local markets. You know the ones I’m talking about. Intended to be funny, their messages ridicule older people! After a failed search, I made a card for her, emphasizing my friend’s virtues. She loved it! A much better choice.

I’m in my 78^th year, happily entrenched in the fourth quarter of life. All this time has brought me invaluable knowledge, experiences, wisdom, and memories. I won’t let those repulsive commercial birthday cards limit my concept of aging.

While aging is a part of life, becoming an old person is not. Rather, that’s an outdated mindset. Unfortunately, some folks have slipped into that mentality, just waiting for the Grim Reaper. Not me! Here’s how I embrace my age without giving in to negative preconceptions of growing old.

Keep Moving

Staying active as we age can help us feel younger. While it’s commendable for some to engage in extreme sports like mountain climbing or marathon running, that isn’t required. What matters most to me is keeping my body moving. I go on a brisk morning walk every day, and I work out at a local YMCA. I also joined a weekly strength training class and a yoga session there.

That enhances physical flexibility and balance, helping prevent falls. Because I have osteoporosis, I exercise to strengthen my muscles and bones. It also helps control blood pressure and prevent heart disease and stroke. Exercise boosts my mood. It makes me feel happy. Try cycling, dancing, swimming, or aerobics if you prefer those activities.

Continue to Learn and Create

I’ve made it a priority to do things that stimulate my mind. I author stories for several online publications, including Sixty & Me. I also draft poems as another way to challenge my brain. Learning and creating something new is a fantastic way to combat any sense of stagnation. Although I penned a few haiku poems decades ago, I didn’t write many assorted styles of poetry until my early 70s. It’s never too late to begin something new.

Here’s a poem I wrote last year, published in the 2024 edition of The Apple Tree by the Third Age Press of the Academy for Lifelong Learning. Several contributing authors were invited to read our work during a special luncheon. What a fun first for me to share my “Stage 4” poem with the group. That stimulated table conversations later, too.

After selling my financial planning business at age 67, I created a consulting firm that continued for several years. I trained professionals to work with widows and directed a research team focused on surviving spouses and money. Today, I enjoy writing, speaking, and mentoring. Did I mention I’m teaching a college graduate-level course this fall? Also, during the next school year, I’ll tutor third-grade children in the Lawyers for Literacy program.

As I wrote earlier this year, I’m “Not Wired to Retire.” This is part of my healthy aging routine.

Stay in Touch with Friends and Family

I believe the foundation of a fulfilling life is maintaining relationships with others. A growing number of research studies show the importance of staying connected for healthy aging. I work to maintain relationships with those closest to me and put effort into making new friends. That includes participating in group activities, attending local events, and volunteering with organizations I value. These contacts give me an enhanced sense of meaning and purpose.

I’m traveling to be with a group of girlfriends this fall. The rest of the year, we meet monthly on Zoom because our homes are thousands of miles apart. Every year, we pack our bags and hit the road, renting an Airbnb for a few days in a fresh, exciting city. One year, we went to Costa Rica. We gals cherish our friendships.

Embrace Technology

While technological advancements might be daunting, they also provide interesting and fun opportunities. I enjoy playing with AI. For example, I’ve created graphics using Microsoft Designer to accompany some of my poetry and stories.

Most Saturday evenings, I read picture books with my long-distance grandson thanks to Zoom and Kindle-formatted children’s books. Last summer, I helped him write and publish his first eBook, using various computer apps to produce it. You can read his debut effort here.

After I figured out how to use a new app on my Android, it was like solving a puzzle – quite satisfying.

Foster an Upbeat Perspective

When I write in my journal most mornings, I mention something I’m grateful for. Instead of dwelling on the natural decline that comes with becoming older, I prefer to think about all the good things that have happened to me. Every day, I give thanks for what I have. This positive mindset helps me start each day with hope and resilience.

Maintain a Healthy Diet and Lifestyle

We all know our eating habits impact our rate of aging. You may have read many articles and research on this topic. Although I’ve always been careful about what I put into my body, I’ve made it a bigger priority as I’ve aged. I stay healthy and energized by eating a pescatarian, modified Mediterranean-style diet that works for me. It’s high in vegetables, fruits, fish, seafood, whole grains, eggs, and dairy. That’s been my dietary style for over 50 years, long before it became popular.

I quit drinking wine and all alcohol almost three years ago, knowing that as women age, we process those beverages differently, in ways not helpful. I intend to live a long life well into my 90s without carcinogenic beverages. Likewise, I’ve never smoked.

Get the Health Help You Need

I don’t avoid the doctor’s office. On the contrary, I take a preventative approach to my health, with annual exams, periodic screenings, blood tests, and addressing potential problems quickly. By educating myself and actively participating in my healthcare, I want to ensure I do the right things to help live a long and healthy life.

For example, last year, after my doctor’s advice, I started taking a low statin dosage to lower my “bad” cholesterol level. Although I was doing everything else right regarding exercise, eating well, ideal weight, and lifestyle, my numbers had stayed stubbornly high for years. Bingo! Four months after starting that tiny pill, my blood test confirmed I was now in the excellent range.

Accept Change and Adapt

I agree that my eight-year-old grandsons have far more energy than I do. I take a half-hour nap in the afternoons but am up with the birds by 6 AM. Through middle age, I packed many activities into most days, going at a fast pace. However, now I’m content doing less and at a slower speed. I build in buffer time, too – no need to rush in many situations. I don’t need to give myself artificial deadlines, either. I’m here to enjoy the ride.

Rather than growing old, I’m simply aging and growing. I want to be a flowing stream, not a frozen brook. I will continue enjoying life fully, loving sincerely, and never growing old.

Here’s a heads-up! September is National Healthy Aging Month, established by the U.S. Senate in 2021.

This might motivate you to consider making your life healthier as you age but not grow old.

Top image credit: Charlie Pickett.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you aging or growing old? How are you aging positively? What helpful advice have you given others about not growing old? Please join the conversation.

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Cinq a Sept Janessa Dress / Saint Laurent Bag / Stuart Weitzman Sandals / Gucci Sunglasses

This denim dress is a total city chic with a bit of country vibe! If you want to wear with boots like Lindsay and lean into the Western trend, have at it. Or I chose to pair it with a strappy heel and quilted bag to dress it up more.

Sizing: I’m 5’9 and 145 pounds, normally a size 6/8. I tried the 6 and the 8, both fit but I went with the 8. 

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  Simkhai Dress / Saint Laurent Bag / Gucci Sunglasses / Stuart Weitzman Sandals

This dress isn’t something that I’d normally pick and I now love it! It has a corseted middle and totally cinches your waist to make it flattering. It also works with an espadrille and raffia bag for a more summery vibe.

Sizing: I’m 5’9 and 145 pounds and am wearing an 8, which is true to size in Contemporary clothing for me

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L’Agence Asa Dress / Saint Laurent Bag / Gucci Sunglasses / Stuart Weitzman Sandals

This LBD is the first bandage dress I’ve worn in a long time and I’m here for it. The scallop detail makes it extra cute and it could be worn to a wedding or for a night out.

Sizing: I’m 5’9 and 145 pounds. I tried both the Medium and the Large and went with the Large. It has adjustable straps also!

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  Click Here to Shop the Looks via the Shop LTK App

Originally posted at: Seen on Bravoleb Dresses I’m Loving Right Now

“Life is just one damn thing after another.” Whether this quote is attributed to Mark Twain or to the author Elbert Hubbard, no doubt we can all agree! This quote resonates for mortals of all ages. However, I am fearful about living with the notion as long as we are alive, challenges will never cease. I’d like to tone down these events in my later years.

To be perfectly honest, I am always on the lookout for challenges. Because of my history (and probably yours!), I feel ill-suited to placid times. I just know something terrible and unexpected is on the horizon.

Somehow, the title of one of the very first crockpot cookbooks has taken up residence in my psyche. Having suffered so many untoward events, I simply want to fix it and forget it! My goal is to come up with a viable action plan and move on.

Fix It and Forget It, The Cookbook

In 1971, the Rival Company created the overworked housewife’s and working woman’s dream. A newly invented electric ceramic pot was capable of accepting an early morning dump of common ingredients, and by applying low heat for several hours during the day, a quality dinner could magically appear in the evening.

Just a few years later, Phyllis Good, a Mennonite woman from Intercourse, PA, founded a publishing company entitled Good Books which produced volumes on Mennonite themes and cookbooks. Looking to fill a hole in the publishing schedule, she hit on a brilliant idea: she would solicit recipes from women all over the United States to include in her crockpot cookbook to “empower those short on time and short on confidence to prepare delicious food for those who gather around their tables.”

Fix-It and Forget-It cookbooks, have been updated and expanded, and are still going strong. They have been New York Times and Publisher’s Weekly best sellers, with over 14 million copies sold. There must be something to this simple logic.

Applying the Philosophy

In my own life (and in yours, I’m sure), I’ve been subjected to very similar issues reappearing too frequently, just like those dinners we need to cook every night. There are the beloved, but challenging, family members who always take us by surprise with their onerous predicaments. Then there is the ongoing issue of the waning physical self. There is the perpetual push and pull of spending money. And, there is the endless challenge of how to maintain a functional, cozy home with all of its aging components.

The only way to maintain one’s sanity is to face an issue, fix it, and forget it! The idea is to not let recurrent or unexpected challenges ruin the few, precious years that remain. It is time to apply the wisdom which has accumulated in massive amounts through daily living to these everyday dilemmas.

Family Relations

Family challenges are level 10 for me on a scale of difficulty. Early in my retirement, I created a very effective morning routine to provide some clarity about my family members. Prior to this non-negotiable time for reflection and purpose setting, I was ambushed by every untoward event.

As a result, if I receive challenging news from one of “my people,” a pause is always taken – sometimes a pause of over 24+ hours, and slow, deliberate consideration is made about what, if anything, I need to do. Very often, nothing needs to be done other than to offer encouragement.

Personal Appearance

Probably Sixtyandme.com has one of the world’s largest proliferation of posts on aging and beauty. Since our appearances remain quite stable for many decades, it is hard to accept the escalating visual signs of aging. One is always in need of some “new product” to reverse the natural progression.

Although I still can’t quite believe my mirror, I have been guilty of purchasing entirely too many beauty products and feeling badly about my looks. My “fix it and forget it philosophy” has recently gone into high gear.

I found a new hair stylist who 100% gets my wanna-be blonde, somewhat gray/brown hair which is overly subject to humid weather. No need to look elsewhere. I’ve found the right anti-aging creams, eyeliner which accommodates a shaky hand, and under eye concealer which is an overachiever. I will spring for that pricey retinol night product, because it works. I’M DONE!!! I will no longer be seduced by fantasy.

Money Issues

I am still trying to figure out why the pandemic and its supply chain issues have raised prices so drastically several years down the road. Whatever the reasons, real or manufactured by corporate greed, I am not a player. I have accepted that too much money is required for quality purchases, and that most mundane items are poorly made and overpriced.

Restaurants and food have passed through someplace in the netherworld, and all rules of economics have changed. I am primarily a do-it-yourselfer, a re-purposer, and an occasional treat-yourselfer! Money is not spent unless something has a definite practical or soul-worthy need!

Home Economics

Another result of the pandemic has been the elevated value of having a comfortable, quality home. I apply my money logic to all home purchases – Do I really need this? Will it enhance our comfort? Is a repair or upgrade a good or necessary investment? No more cringing at unexpected prices.

Phyllis Good accidentally stumbled upon a universal need in the kitchen. With a change in mindset, we can have the mental equivalent of that delicious warm dinner at the end of a hard day: peace of mind.

How It Affects You:

What do you think about the fix it and forget it mindset? Do you have any tricks to keep challenging situations at bay? What repeated scenarios keep you up at night?