5 Weird Things I’m Missing in My “Maturity”
Ever notice how the gadgets and gizmos that were supposed to make our lives easier have somehow made them feel more complicated?
I don’t know about you, but there are days when I feel like an out-of-place relic, trying to navigate a world that seems to have been designed by tech-savvy teenagers. I love technology as much or more than the next gal, but I’m here to tell you, it’s okay to miss the simpler times. Let’s take a lighthearted trip down memory lane and explore just 5 of the quirkier things that I miss from “back in the day.”
#1: Paper Lists
There’s something almost romantic about a paper list, isn’t there? I feel like such a dork strolling through the grocery store with my trusty paper list and pen, while these young parents are gliding through the aisles with their cell phone apps, swiping items off their screens like they’re playing Fruit Ninja.
This practice disturbs me. I can’t help but think about how dirty those cell phones are. They’re basically Petri dishes with Wi-Fi. And what about children, watching their parents’ phones become a natural extension of their hands, a new appendage? One day, those kids will think “hand” and “phone” are synonyms.
I just love the feeling of writing a list and crossing off each item as I go. Sometimes, I even add things to the list that I’ve already put in my cart, just so I can have the satisfaction of crossing them off. It’s like giving myself a little gold star for adulting.
Sure, I know how to use the Notes app, but I’ll continue to use it only to keep track of all the books I want to read and recipes I’ll never actually make. Grocery lists, however, will remain steadfastly on paper. I mean, what’s next? A robot to vacuum my carpets? Oh, never mind…
#2: Foldable Maps
Oh, how I miss paper maps. I recently went on a road trip with my two sons and their wives. My husband and I had state maps stuffed in our glove compartment, ready for our journey from Wisconsin to Colorado. We had all the states lined up, but we were missing Nebraska, and isn’t Nebraska overlooked enough just by being so “middle” of the USA? I am a middle child, so don’t get me started.
Isn’t there something wonderfully nostalgic about a paper map? On a paper map, you can see all the rest areas – a crucial feature for a woman approaching 60 who needs frequent bathroom breaks. Plus, you can see the whole state laid out before your eyes instead of squinting at a tiny phone screen and wondering if you’re zooming in on the right spot or just activating some strange “night mode” feature.
My kids were so annoyed with my behavior, shaking their heads at my insistence on using paper maps. Have you seen that viral video where they ask a young teen to fold a map? It’s hilarious and heartbreaking. As a teacher, I loved teaching map skills – the map key, the scale, the good old compass rose. It’s becoming a lost art. Do people even know what the word “cartographer” means? Nowadays, it’s like saying “blacksmith” or “milkman.”
#3: Answering Machines
Remember the anticipation of coming home from a long trip or even a weekend away and eagerly checking your answering machine for messages? You’d run to the machine, push play, and wait for those beeps and voices. If you were super savvy, you knew how to check your machine remotely, though I never quite mastered that part. I usually ended up accidentally changing my outgoing message to three minutes of heavy breathing.
There was something beautiful about knowing that people had to leave you alone for the duration of your trip. Whether they knew you were gone, or they didn’t, they would leave a message. No constant pings and dings on your cellphone demanding your attention, just the simple joy of hearing a friendly voice when you got home. Some days, my cellphone buzzes more than a beehive on espresso.
#4: Plain Old Phone Calls
I also miss plain old phone calls. I would stretch the phone cord to its limits, trying to find a private spot around the corner to have a conversation. I miss the tone of voice, the nuances that texts and emails just can’t capture. There’s something about hearing someone say, “Ready for the latest gossip?” that no emoji can replace.
Nowadays, I mostly video chat with my mom. She usually holds her iPad up to her mouth like it’s a phone, and I get treated to the disturbing sights of the inside of her nostrils or the back of her teeth. It’s enough to make anyone a little nauseous, but I’m so lucky we can talk.
#5: High School Reunion Anticipation
With all the social media sites out there, especially Facebook for us women of maturity, the anticipation of high school reunions has vanished. I remember my 20-year reunion, back before the internet took over our lives. Some of my classmates hadn’t aged particularly well, even though we were all only in our late 30s. But now, as we all turn 60, I see them on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. There aren’t many secrets between us anymore. I know them better than I did in high school. Heck, I might even like them more than I did in high school.
But the thrill of seeing who turned into a silver fox or who showed up with an unconvincing toupee has been replaced by the mundane scroll of daily updates. “Oh look, there’s Henry on his 7th cruise” just doesn’t have the same punch as seeing Henry in person, trying to pass off his new hairpiece as the real deal.
So, there you have it – things I’m missing in this modern world. Call me old-fashioned, but there’s a certain charm in the tangible, the tactile, and the anticipation that technology just can’t replace. If you need me, I’ll be over here with my paper list, my map, and my answering machine, reminiscing about the good old days and wondering if my future grandkids will ever figure out how to fold a map.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What do you miss from the simpler times of our youth? What new things (technologies or not) do you embrace and wouldn’t do without?
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