Month: November 2024

Black Friday signals one of the biggest shopping days of the year. TV adverts, social media posts, newspapers, magazines, billboards – everywhere we turn there is someone somewhere prompting us to buy the next new thing.

I don’t know about you, but it seems to go on for an eternity. We may as well just call it Black November!

And whilst it’s great to pay less for something you truly want or need, we will all undoubtedly fall foul of clever marketers and buy things we don’t need.

Because it’s so hard. When the world is getting whipped up into a media frenzy of offers, sales and bargains galore, it takes a strong person to let it pass by without succumbing to the hype.

If you’re naturally someone who loves to shop, days like Black Friday do not help one bit and this year we are encouraging people to come on board for a little anti-Black Friday revolution – Don’t Buy Ask Why.

The Don’t Buy part of it is simple enough to understand, of course. But what do we mean by Ask Why?

The Habits We Address by Asking Why

Ask Why #1: Emotions

If we want to make a conscious effort to have less in our homes, then it’s vital for us to understand the emotions and habits in our behaviour that drive us to succumb to retail pressure. It is only by understanding why we act the way we do that we can ever begin to initiate a change.

Ask Why #2: Born This Way

Are you a born bargain hunter? Do you struggle to bypass a sale and regularly buy things just because they are cheap? A telltale sign is if you have numerous items hanging in your wardrobe with the tags still attached, particularly if they’ve been there for months or years.

Ask Why #3: Retail Therapy

Do you find yourself drawn to shiny new things? Do you love the dopamine hit that comes with a new blouse, a craft magazine or a new candle? But have you ever noticed how short-lived that retail therapy is?

Ask Why #4: Purpose

Do parcels arrive at your house and you can’t even remember ordering them? Or do you have parcels that sit there unopened for weeks on end and then you forget you even had them?

All of the above statements point to the same thing – your shopping isn’t intentional. You are buying because it feels good rather than because you need it.

Consumerism Owns Us

Over the past few decades, we have become a hugely consumerist society the world over. And whilst no-one is suggesting shopping is a bad thing because consumer spending is a very real need for our economy, it’s fair to say there comes a time when we just have too much stuff.

Some of us have been burying our heads in the sand for way too long, and we know the time has come when we need to jump in and challenge our relationship with stuff. That’s where Don’t Buy comes in.

Don’t Buy

Whilst the rest of the world is jumping on to the Black Friday bandwagon to buy more stuff, let’s revolt, jump off and focus on having less stuff.

• We need to understand the emotions and habits that make us buy.
• We need to work out exactly what we have in our homes.
• We need to confront ourselves with our past excesses.
• We need to learn to love stuff less.
• We need to see what a difference simplicity makes to our relationships.
• We need to see how much money we save.

So, this Black Friday, instead of following the crowd, challenge yourself to be different. Walk on past that store, empty that online basket or delete that email. Your life will be all the much richer for it. Don’t Buy Ask Why.

If you’d like to know more about Don’t Buy Ask Why and our anti Black Friday revolution, please do come and take a look and make that change today!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you in the habit of buying stuff you don’t need? What do you do with it? When do you shop them most – is it when emotionally deprived? Do you shop as therapy? What is your shopping ‘why’?

Activewear isn’t just about comfort and functionality – it’s about how you feel when you wear it. For many women, especially those 60 and beyond, the right activewear can be transformative. It can instill confidence, foster a sense of empowerment, and enhance how you approach your fitness routine and daily life.

Here are some tips on choosing activewear that not only looks great, but also boosts your confidence and well-being.

Choose the Right Fit

One of the most important aspects of activewear is finding pieces that fit you well. Ill-fitting clothes can hinder your performance and make you feel self-conscious. When your activewear is too loose, you might find yourself adjusting your clothing mid-workout, distracting you from your movements. On the other hand, clothes that are too tight can restrict your mobility and feel uncomfortable.

Finding the perfect fit can elevate how you feel during your workout and in your everyday life. Consider pieces that offer just the right amount of support where you need it. For example, this Fits to a T Pant provides excellent coverage, while ensuring you feel secure and supported. When your activewear complements your body’s natural shape, it can boost your confidence, making every movement feel intentional and fluid.

Prioritize Comfort

When choosing activewear, comfort is key. Whether you’re doing yoga, going for a walk, or simply running errands, the last thing you want is to feel restricted by your clothing. Prioritize materials that are breathable, flexible, and moisture-wicking. These features ensure that you stay comfortable no matter how intense your activity is.

I believe that comfort shouldn’t be compromised for style, which is why I created Inner Joy Activewear. All our tops are made from high-quality cotton, which is breathable and gentle on the skin. They are designed to keep us comfortable throughout the day, whether we’re in the middle of a workout or relaxing afterward. With soft, flexible fabrics, we can focus on our movements rather than any discomfort, allowing us to stay fully present in the moment.

Embrace Vibrant Colors

Many women find that wearing vibrant colors can lift their mood and give them a confidence boost. Color psychology tells us that bright, bold hues can positively affect our mental and emotional well-being. So why not bring that concept into your activewear?

When selecting your next activewear pieces, try opting for colors that make you feel energized and happy. Bright colors can invigorate your workout routine while helping you feel more confident. Choosing colors that resonate with your personal style and energy can be a game-changer for how you perceive yourself.

Go for Versatile Pieces

In today’s fast-paced world, versatility in clothing is essential. Activewear that can seamlessly transition from workout sessions to casual outings boosts your confidence by ensuring you always feel put-together, no matter where you are. Whether you’re headed to a yoga class or meeting friends for coffee, versatile pieces save you the hassle of needing to change clothes, all while ensuring you feel stylish and comfortable.

This Buttery Button Shirt Jacket is a perfect example of versatility. It’s designed for both function and style, giving you the flexibility to wear it over your workout gear or as part of your everyday wardrobe. Its lightweight and cozy cotton fabric make it the ideal layering piece for cooler weather or for a quick post-workout errand. With versatile pieces like this in your closet, you can always feel confident and ready for whatever the day throws your way.

Find Your Inner Joy

I believe that activewear is more than just clothing – it’s a way to express yourself and feel empowered at any age. The right clothing can boost your mood, elevate your performance, and most importantly, make you feel great about yourself. By choosing pieces that fit well, embrace vibrant colors, prioritize comfort, and offer versatility, you can enhance your confidence and overall well-being.

I encourage women to embrace their bodies, celebrate their strength, and enjoy the comfort and style that comes with age. Confidence is not just for the young; it’s for anyone who feels empowered by what they wear. When you feel good in your clothes, that energy radiates through every aspect of your life.

Whether you’re engaging in a rigorous workout or simply enjoying a peaceful walk, the clothes you wear should make you feel like the best version of yourself.

Let your activewear empower you to stay active, healthy, and confident – at any age.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How do you choose your activewear? Do your fitness clothes give you confidence? What colors have the greatest impact on your inner joy and fitness success?

Are they hiding more secrets?

I don’t know about you, but somewhere along my life’s journey, I picked up and carried with me a belief that I needed to be able to rely solely on myself. And somewhere along my path, that message morphed into an even more warped version of itself as if it stood in front of a fun house mirror. This version made me look like I was a failure in the pursuit of being independent if I couldn’t do everything by myself.

Was It the Divorce?

In retrospect, it may have happened when I got divorced. At the time, I couldn’t see the potential of a blooming forest through the trees of doom and gloom and uncertainty. My responsibilities felt daunting.

I had my two kids most of the time and was suddenly faced with the need to jump back into the work force after being a stay-at-home mom for 18 years. Also, I had to ramp up some income real fast as the timer was tic-tocking down to a deadline when support would come to a stop.

I felt I had to prove that I could handle everything on my own, and if I couldn’t, that would mean I had failed and let my kids down as well.

No pressure!

Can We Go It Alone?

There’s a quote from Margaret Wheatly I came across many years later which says, “Everything in the Universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone.”

I wish I had seen this earlier.

Asking for help is actually a sign of strength, not weakness. To ask for help requires vulnerability, and being vulnerable is a sign of strength. So when you do the math, asking for help equals being strong!

Bugs in Your Eyes

Some years ago, I was watching a TV show about two women friends living together to raise a baby. In one of the episodes after the baby had been born, the mom challenged a biker to a game of pool while holding her newborn in a sling, saying that she could do everything by herself and didn’t need any help.

He looked closely at her and said, “You’ve got bugs in your eyes.”

She tilted her head looking confused, and he continued saying, “You see, skeleton riders, we’ve got this saying … You’ve got bugs in your eyes …what it means is this… You can’t always be the lead hog. When we ride, we ride in formation. We trade out the lead, because if you stay in the front of the pack for too long, you get bugs in your eyes … You need to let other people help you. It doesn’t make you any less of a rider …”

It’s Lonely and Exhausting to Be Self-Sufficient All the Time

Brilliant, right?! Not only is it okay to rely on others, it’s imperative – for us as individuals and as a community. Being too self-sufficient can be an exhausting and lonely road, and relationships can become collateral damage.

We definitely need to know that we can rely on ourselves, and it is also important to be able to ask for help when we need it.

This is an example of an and/both situation. Both things can be true.

We all at times feel the weightiness of our thoughts, fears, concerns, to-do’s and responsibilities falling squarely on our shoulders. And if we can allow others to give us a hand, or a shoulder, or a hug, everybody wins.

Helping Others in Return

Doesn’t it make you feel good when you are able to help someone?

Letting the people who care about us give us some help when we need it, is giving them a gift as well. It’s not easy at first. Asking for help is a muscle. The more you exercise and do the reps, the heavy lift of asking gets easier.

I recently had Sky Bergman on my podcast Loving Later Life. In her 3^rd act of life, she became a filmmaker and created the documentary film Lives Well Lived, for which she interviewed 40 people aged 75-100. Hearing Bergman’s experiences making the film later in life as well as the participants’ moving stories helps us to realize that we’re here to live our best life and none of us can do it alone. We help ourselves by helping one another.

Let’s Talk About It:

Do you have bugs in your eyes? Do you always try to do everything yourself? Is it hard for you to ask for help? Are you afraid that it will make you look less capable?

She does pretty well for herself.