Month: December 2024

Losing all my puffiness in the back seat.

One of the best parts of being a seasoned woman is finally having the clarity, vision, and inclination to face projects I’ve been putting off. I’m no longer too busy, too low on funds, or too distracted to prioritize myself. Sound familiar? Are you ready to embrace your season, too?

Beginning My Journey!

It all started on Labor Day Weekend. I decided enough was enough.

The Pantry Project

The shelves in my pantry had been installed by the previous owner, and over the years, I made it work until I had the time to devote to recreating it the way I wanted it.

In the past, I reasoned away my wanting to redo the pantry with thoughts like, “It works for now” and “Having a pantry is a luxury” and “You need the money somewhere else.” But I was fed up.

That weekend I managed to take down the shelves and paint the inside for a new system, and by the end of October the new shelves were installed and arranged the way I had always daydreamed about. I felt fulfilled after finishing this project – something I had wanted to do since moving into my house years before.

Decorating My Windows

Another home project I had always meant to get to was bare windows. A year ago, I removed the old drapes in the living and dining room but that left the windows bare. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, and I didn’t want to invest the money.

After tackling the pantry, I decided that I was tired of living in a goldfish bowl, and I deserved some blinds! I did a bit of research, found something I loved, and now I have window treatments that pair with my rooms perfectly.

Tackling the Fall Garden

What else was I tolerating, you may wonder? I have a huge garden at home and fall cleanup was always a pain because of the plug-in leaf blower! Getting to the top of the yard with the cord and blowing the pine needles and leaves was a lot of work.

Over the years, I would put up with the cord and get tangled up in the logistics! This year I finally purchased a cordless blower, and I couldn’t believe the difference it made during clean-up. Not only was it easier, the task was a lot more enjoyable.

Why hadn’t I invested in a cordless blower years earlier? Simply put, I had accepted that this was just “how it was,” the expense was too great, and I had other priorities. Now that the kids are grown, the priority is making my life easier!

Keeping Up the Momentum

I decided to keep the momentum going and branch off from home improvement projects into other areas of my life. Over 10 years ago, I had a tooth pulled and never did get the implant. Not having the time or money to devote to this expense while raising my kids, I put off getting the implant even though my dentist brought it up at every six-month visit.

Last month I decided that I needed to prioritize my oral health, pay the money for the implant, and take the time to go to multiple appointments. In the end, the expense and inconvenience was totally worth it.

While working a career and perhaps raising a family, we get wrapped up in urgent priorities and tend to let some things slide. It’s easy to put aside home improvement projects, car maintenance, and personal upkeep (like even going to dentist appointments) in order to focus on everyone else’s needs and wants.

Something pops up that is more important, that needs your attention or funds. This can be a form of avoidance, procrastination, and/or selflessness. For example, you may put others first because then you won’t have to think about the problems in your life (unfulfilling career, rocky marriage, health issues) that you don’t want to deal with (changing careers, going to therapy, starting an exercise routine).

Sometimes We Prioritize Others Before Ourselves

At the time it was necessary, we prioritized others before ourselves. As home makers, we put the needs of our families, career, community, and organizations ahead of our own.

We were expected to keep track of kids’ assignments and permission slips, plan healthy meals, clean, work full-time or start our own business, volunteer our time, etc., and we did it will love and care. But those were demands we experienced in our 20s and 30s. We are way beyond that age now.

Now, the things that matter to you, like reorganizing the pantry shelves to make it more efficient or spending time and money on important dental care, are acts of self-care. When you take the time to engage in acts of self-care and meet your needs, you decrease feelings of anxiety and depression while increasing happiness, patience, and resilience.

As we grow older and our time and resources are freed up from the demands of our 20s and 30s, it’s time to look after ourselves!

Simple Dreams Bring Satisfaction

My neighbor Miranda had always wanted to go back to school and take classes in Art History. When Covid hit and her grown children mentioned online classes, she finally registered.

A friend, Jai, has an amazing backyard; she had always planned on putting in a patio so she could drink her coffee and draw in the morning. After she changed careers and freed up more time, her dream patio moved up on the priority list. Now she starts every morning in the shade of her giant oak, her heart filled with gratitude as she sips a dark roast.

We Can Change Our Circumstances

Life is too short to put up with things or circumstances that hinder our growth! Whether you are 40, 50, 60, or beyond, it is time to look after yourself and your happiness.

It may be something like taking a trip to Italy, registering for a class, jumping back into the dating world… or it could be something small like making a recipe you’ve always wanted to try, exploring different exercise classes at your gym, or finally getting rid of all the stuff you inherited from your mom that you’ve been storing in your basement.

Now It’s Time for Your First Step!

I have a worksheet on my website: Tolerating and Coping. I invite you to jump over and download – and start exploring where you need to put yourself first!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Where do you need to make a change in the new year? What projects have you been putting off? Let’s make 2025 a year of learning how to look after ourselves!

Yoga is more than just a physical exercise; it’s a practice of connection between mind, body, and spirit. One of the keys to maximizing the benefits of yoga is to align your practice with your body’s natural rhythms, or circadian clock.

While the best time for yoga can vary depending on personal preferences and daily schedules, syncing it with your body’s internal clock can make a significant difference in how you feel mentally, physically, and emotionally. Let’s explore the different times of day for practicing yoga and the unique benefits of each.

Morning: Energize and Invigorate

Many people find that early morning is the ideal time for yoga. As the sun rises, so does your energy, making it a perfect moment to awaken both body and mind. Morning yoga offers numerous benefits, including boosting your metabolism and increasing mental clarity for the day ahead. It can also create a sense of calm and focus, which may help reduce stress before the hustle and bustle of daily life begins.

Sun Salutations (Surya Namaskar) are especially effective in the morning, as they stretch and wake up the body, increasing blood flow and oxygen circulation. The flowing movements of a morning practice gently warm up your muscles, leaving you feeling more alert and ready to tackle the day. Additionally, morning yoga can help set a positive tone, grounding your thoughts and encouraging mindfulness as you face your daily challenges.

For those who struggle with morning stiffness, a gentle yoga routine can help ease muscle tension and enhance flexibility. Consistency in morning yoga can lead to an energized start to your day, helping you stay focused and productive.

Afternoon: Rebalance and Refocus

The afternoon often brings a natural dip in energy levels, commonly referred to as the “afternoon slump.” If you find yourself feeling sluggish or overwhelmed, a midday yoga session can offer a refreshing boost. Afternoon yoga provides a perfect opportunity to reset your energy, release stress, and refocus.

Short, energizing routines that incorporate standing poses and backbends can rejuvenate both your mind and body. These poses stimulate blood flow, stretch the spine, and elevate mood, making them ideal for reinvigorating your day. Yoga in the afternoon can also serve as a great break from work or daily tasks, providing a mental and physical pause that helps you continue the rest of your day with a renewed sense of balance.

Furthermore, if you practice yoga regularly in the afternoon, you may notice an improvement in digestion, as certain poses help stimulate the digestive system and aid in reducing bloating or discomfort after lunch.

Evening: Relax and Unwind

Evening yoga offers a chance to unwind and release the tension accumulated throughout the day. It’s a perfect way to transition from the demands of work or family life into a more relaxed, calm state before bed. Evening practices often emphasize gentle, restorative poses that calm the nervous system and promote relaxation.

Poses like forward bends, gentle twists, and hip openers can soothe the body and mind, making it easier to fall into a deep, restful sleep. Incorporating a slower-paced, mindful yoga session at night can also help improve your sleep quality, reduce insomnia, and prepare you for a more restorative night of rest. For those who have trouble winding down in the evening, a slow yoga flow may help reduce feelings of restlessness or anxiety.

Listen to Your Body’s Needs

While there are benefits to practicing yoga at different times of the day, it’s important to remember that the best time for yoga is ultimately when it feels right for you. Your body’s needs may change day to day, and by listening to what your body requires, you can adjust your practice to suit your current energy levels and physical state.

I created Inner Joy Activewear, because I believe in the importance of tuning into your body’s natural rhythms and honoring your unique needs. Our clothing is designed to support you through every phase of your day, ensuring that you feel confident and comfortable during your yoga practice – no matter the time of day.

Whether you prefer to practice yoga in the morning to energize, in the afternoon to rebalance, or in the evening to relax, aligning your practice with your body clock can help enhance your well-being. Embrace your inner joy, find the right time for your yoga practice, and let it transform the way you move through your day.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What time of day is the best for you to practice yoga or to exercise in general? Do you have more energy in the mornings or at a different time of day?

Stoicism, a school of philosophy that emerged in ancient Greece around 300 BCE, has withstood the test of time, serving as a guiding light for those seeking wisdom and tranquility in the face of life’s challenges. Developed by both the Greeks and Romans, Stoicism aimed to help individuals become truly admirable human beings. It addressed questions about what constitutes a fulfilling life and how to achieve happiness. These concepts are foundational in many religious traditions.

In recent years, Stoicism has experienced a significant resurgence of interest. One of its leading contemporary advocates is Dr Donald Robertson, a cognitive behavioural psychologist. His book How to Think Like a Roman Emperor: The Stoic Philosophy of Marcus Aurelius provides a useful handbook for incorporating Stoic principles into one’s life.

Founders of Stoicism

The roots of Stoicism can be traced back to Zeno of Citium (Cyprus, 334 BCE–262 BCE), an ancient Greek philosopher who established the school in Athens around 300 BCE. Influenced by the teachings of Socrates – who demonstrated critical thinking by questioning unexamined beliefs – Zeno emphasized the pursuit of virtue as the highest good and the importance of living in harmony with Nature.

Among the Romans, three key figures, namely Seneca (4 BCE–65 CE), Epictetus (55–135 CE), and Emperor Marcus Aurelius (121–180 CE), are regarded as the principal leaders of Stoic thought. While many others contributed, the writings of these three have been preserved, offering direct insight into their philosophies.

The Four Cardinal Virtues

The Stoics identified four cardinal virtues to guide their lives:

• Wisdom (Prudence): Careful deliberation, good judgment, perspective, and common sense.
• Justice (Fairness): Good-heartedness, benevolence, public service, fair dealing, and contributing to society.
• Courage (Fortitude): Bravery, perseverance, authenticity, honesty, and self-confidence.
• Moderation (Self-Discipline): Self-control, orderliness, forgiveness of self and others, compassion, humility, and positive thinking.

Individuals who choose to follow these guidelines and apply them to themselves naturally develop into more well-rounded, mature human beings.

Essential Books on Stoicism

Letters from a Stoic by Seneca (4 BCE–65 CE)

Seneca, a prominent Stoic philosopher, statesman, and tutor to the young Nero, shares his wisdom through letters addressed to his friend Lucilius. Letters from a Stoic explores ethics, reason, tranquillity, and spirituality. Seneca reminds us, “It is not the man who has little, but the man who desires more, who is poor.”

In Letter XLI, he writes, “God is near you, is with you, is inside you. Yes, Lucilius, there resides within us a divine spirit, which watches us and guards us in the evil and good we do. As we treat him, so he will treat us. No man, indeed, is good without God.”

Discourses and Enchiridion by Epictetus (55–135 CE)

Epictetus, once a slave, became a philosopher and teacher who stressed the distinction between what is within our control and what is not. He stated, “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.”

The Enchiridion serves as a practical guide to applying Stoic principles daily, offering succinct advice on dealing with adversity, managing emotions, and maintaining moral integrity. Intrinsic to his teachings is the belief in a supreme ultimate: nature.

In Discourses (Book 2, Verse 14, 11–12), Epictetus says, “Philosophers say that the first thing to learn is that God exists, he governs the world, and that we cannot keep our actions secret, that even our thoughts and inclinations are known to him. The next thing to learn about is the divine nature, because we will have to imitate the gods if we intend to obey them and win their favour.”

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (121–189 CE)

Often regarded as the quintessential Stoic text, Meditations is a collection of personal reflections by the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. He contemplates Stoic principles and offers practical guidance on leading a virtuous life amidst the trials of ruling an empire. In Book 3, verse 7, he praises the individual who “puts first his own mind and divinity, and worships the supremacy of the god within him.”

In Book 4, verse 40, he instructs us to “think always of the Universe as one living creature … the very web and mesh of it all.” And in Book 4, verse 14, he reminds himself, “You have subsisted as a part of the Whole. You will vanish into that which gave you birth: or rather, you will be changed, taken up into the generative principle of the universe.”

How to Live a Stoic Life

True Stoicism is not the small “s” stoicism of a “stiff upper lip” and repressed emotions. It involves facing reality, acknowledging emotions, working through them, and then moving on. Stoics see psychological growth as a work in progress, always within our control. They encourage us to embrace honesty, pragmatism, and kindness as we seek to understand life’s truths.

They were also spiritual, believing in a universal energy or force that pervades everything, including us. We can access this energy by looking inward for our higher self and inviting it to guide us. This higher self can take any form we choose. The ultimate goal of Stoicism is to produce a mature human being, which should be the meaning of our lives.

These ideas have existed in the human psyche for countless generations. Each culture and individual manifests the numinous in unique ways, and we should be tolerant of one another’s different ways of doing so. Stoicism’s accumulated wisdom spans thousands of years, but we demonstrate our own wisdom by choosing to live by these principles in the present. By applying them, we can create a genuinely happy life.

My Own Journey

In my memoir, A Work in Progress: A Scottish Lass in Africa, I share the story of a young girl who grew up during the Great Depression, navigated the challenges of World War II, and embraced the opportunities and struggles of a new life in Africa.

This is not just my story; it’s a reflection on the joys and challenges of living fully – always learning and growing, even into my tenth decade.

I’d be honored to share my journey with you.

Questions for You:

Are you Stoic in your approach to life? Are you honest with yourself in all situations? Do you endeavour to apply truth in all your relationships?

We can’t even count that high.