Month: January 2025

“I tried cruising once; I don’t think it’s for me.” This is usually said after accompanying a friend on a cruise that you had no say in choosing. Well, here’s the caveat. Those who decide they didn’t enjoy their cruise were most likely on the wrong ship!

So, how do you choose a cruise that’s right for you?

Well, you start by getting out your magnifying glass. You are about to enter the realm of details and hidden conditions that often sound like this:

If you book this promotion, you can’t combine it with other offers. Or, if you don’t buy the air package, you can’t have the transfers.

Here are some tips to help you through the maze.

Supersized Ships Are Their Own Destination

Most folks 45+ would rather do their own root canal than board one of those enormous ships. If you don’t like a lot of people and commotion, what are you doing on a ship with 2,000-plus passengers?

Those supersized ships are great for families and partiers because of the bells and whistles: waterslides, entertainment, free flowing booze, shopping, casinos, and much more! But if you aren’t going to use all the toys, why are you paying for them?

Hidden Gems: Boutique Ships

Size really does matter! When I ask people to name some cruise lines, they usually only come up with two or three they have seen in TV commercials.

If you do a little investigation, you will be pleasantly surprised to find many boutique cruise ships catering to as few as 22 and no greater than 1,000 sophisticated guests.

The misconception is that they are too expensive. But in reality, you are merely paying for most everything upfront so no credit card surprises later.

Those Magnificent Masted Ships

For the adventurous, masted ships are a fantastic alternative to the ocean cruise ships and large yachts. They accommodate a few hundred sophisticated to fun loving passengers – there are different styles for everyone.

Those who suffer sea sickness can rest assured that the stabilizers on these ships eliminate the issue.

Tendering or Pier Disembarkment

Want to cruise right under London Bridge or dock at the San Basilio pier in Venice? Or, perhaps you are just looking for a floating hotel so you can enjoy the ports of call? If that’s the case, you’ll have to consider the size of the ship.

Small ships sail right into those little ports, giving you the opportunity to spend more time experiencing village life, local people, and culture.

The large ships have no choice but to dock at the huge cruise terminals and, in some cases, have been banned from docking altogether which means longer lines for tendering.

Make Your Cruise All About You

There is no such thing as ‘all inclusive’. But some ships come closer than others. Make a list of amenities that you want included: delicious food, immersive shore excursions, airport transfers, gratuities, themes (regional wines, entertainment, golf), educational lectures, and speakers.

Can We Bring the Grandkids?

You brought the grandkids along and they’re complaining there is nothing to do. However, the brochure said the cruise was kid-friendly.

Well, that doesn’t necessarily translate into kids’ programs and activities. It just means they are welcome onboard. If you don’t want the grandkids with you all the time, make sure activities and excursions for the young ones have been included.

Location, Location, Location

Experienced cruisers have their favourites. If you have difficulty walking, it can seem like miles to restaurants if your cabin is on the other end.

Why do many guests prefer midship or stern? Higher decks mean you feel more movement; lower and inside cabins less. Passengers gathering near elevators and staircases create extra noise for the adjacent cabins.

Last Minute No Longer Exists

The time to book is well in advance. Booking last minute usually means undesirable cabins that ships are trying to unload. Early booking bonuses are now the offer of choice. You get special promotions and amenities, a good selection of staterooms, and cabin locations.

I hope this post has you re-thinking ocean cruising.

Also read, 5 Best New Cruises for Solo Women Over 50.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What kind of cruise have you been on and what was the experience like? What other tips or experiences would you like to share about choosing the best cruise? I’d love to hear them! Join the conversation.

Being crazy passionate about what I have been doing as a dating coach for four decades (gulp, I just counted them – the ’90s, ’00s, ’10s, and now the ’20s), you bet I notice differences! Trends seem to shift every few years, and thanks to AI, an aging population, and a well-educated dating scene, singles and those in their second acts are becoming bolder and more adventurous as their experiences with online dating grow.

Here’s what’s hot – and what’s totally not – in the dating world of 2025.

1. Strategy Focused

“This is what I want – but how do I get there?” This is the main question I hear. With over 1,400 dating platforms on the market, it’s a fair question.

How do I handle this on Zoom calls with my new clients? First, I listen for an hour. It gives me time to formulate my thoughts and an individual strategy for them. Next, I send them my Personal Business Plan to fill out (yes, the most popular worksheet in my new book released last week: 2nd Acts: Winning Strategies for Dating).

Strategy and dating? Oh yes, they go together like garlic bread and pasta. No, it’s not unromantic – it’s smart! And I am all about getting you to my 65% column of clients who end up meeting their partner. Don’t let starry eyes get in your way – love needs a game plan!

2. Green Flags Waving

We all know about red flags, right? They mean RUN. Delete. Block. But what about green flags? The good signs we should be paying attention to?

Quick story: I had a client in her 60s, sharp, accomplished, gorgeous – and a pro at sniffing out red flags before she even met a guy. Google Lens? Check. Social media deep dive? Check. Background search? You bet. She was rejecting men before even saying hello!

So, when she called me fretting over a guy with an MBA, great photos, and a solid life – but only a year post-divorce – I told her, “Take a deep breath, put the detective badge away, and just meet him.”

Result? A six-hour first date, a Sunday football party where her girlfriends were ga-ga over him, and a Monday night pickleball match. Turns out, while his divorce was a year ago, his separation was four years back – he was more than ready. And for the first time, she sounded giddy. Even my husband, who’s heard all about her, said, “Wow, I didn’t think you’d find her someone!”

So, let’s not get so lost in the red flags that we miss the green ones. Sometimes, you just have to show up.

3. Embracing Niche Interests

Dating profiles used to be full of broad hobbies – “I love skiing and hiking!” – but now? It’s all about the niche passions: glass blowing, salsa dancing, building miniatures, collecting rare vinyl.

Why? Because being unapologetically you is attractive. Will she be taking up glass blowing with him? Probably not. But it makes conversations more interesting and gives relationships more dimension. No one wants a clone – variety keeps things spicy!

4. Loud Looking

Just like it sounds; saying exactly what you’re looking for on your dating profile. But with grace, of course! No vague “just seeing what’s out there” nonsense.

Confidence is hot. Own what you want. Be bold. Be clear. And guess what? You’ll attract the right kind of attention – no mind games required.

5. Less Pressure, More Picky

Oh, I love this one. Clients are realizing there are way more fish in the sea than they anticipated – and they absolutely do not need to settle. If it’s not a match, next!

It’s refreshing. It’s empowering. And honestly? It makes dating more fun.

Bonus: What’s Out (Thank God!)

Slow Dating

Endless texting and phone calls with someone you’ll probably never meet. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Benching

That annoying “kind of interested but keeping you on standby” move? Yeah, we’re all too smart for that now.

Grim Keeping

Bonding over shared dislikes and complaints. Misery might love company, but love thrives on joy.

When I read through all of this, it comes back to strategy, openness, mindset, and knowing what you want. Cheers to 2025 dating – let’s make it bold, smart, and fun!

In my book I offer 14 worksheets and QR Codes that take you to coaching videos to get you on the right path to dating – and having fun with the entire process – yes, I said FUN!

Reflection Questions:

What is your mindset about dating, life and love? Would you like a relationship? Are you willing to give dating one more chance and commit for 3 months with a strategy?

As a cancer thriver two and a half years post treatment, I can now reflect on some lessons I’ve learned that served me well; that I’d like to pay forward in the hope that something may resonate for you. When going through something awful, that seemingly comes out of nowhere and rocks us to our core, we must put all our energy into treading furiously to stay afloat. Too many threatening undertows are swirling beneath feeling like they’re ready to consume us. We are laser focused on the eye of the storm.

Which brings me to the first lesson.

Staying in the Present

This might be considered mindfulness at its best – staying in the moment. We must focus on what we need to do at this moment, this hour, this day, to get through. Worrying about all the what if’s that could go wrong, whether we’ll make it through, creates anxiety at its worst. We know the big hype on mindfulness but staying on today really does help. It keeps anxiety from intruding on a full-blown scale.

For me, staying on and getting each cycle of treatment as I was going through it, was all I focused on; as they say, one cycle, one day at a time. When I thought about how I would get through the other cycles, I went into a tizzy of fear and worst-case scenarios. There’s a mental exercise where you visualize a Stop sign in your mind, reminding and guiding you to halt ruminating and future-oriented fears of unknowns.

Bringing in Bits of Joy

Being intentional about doing small things throughout the day that gives us moments of joy is a lovely little respite to the hardship and pain. In my house, I chase the sunlight, literally. If the sun is hitting my dining room, I bring my food there and face my chair into the direct light of sunshine. When it hits my den, I bring in my mug of tea and sit in my swivel chair facing the sunlight.

The first thing I do in the morning is raise the shades and say hello to the sun as it spreads its rays of color across the sky. In between naps, I’d go outside and chop off the deadheads on my flower beds. Or I’d water my plants. Being a lover of nature and beauty, these small things connected me with me and with some things that brought me joy.

You might make a ‘happiness boosters’ list and write down things that you enjoy, that give you pleasure and comfort. And then look to incorporate one or two of them in your day. It’s a reminder there’s’ still some soothing things out there for you.

Go Your Way

Everybody is going to have an opinion and a say in how and what you need to do. All well-meaning. But you need to get quiet and feel your own intuition. We all have gut feelings. They really do speak to us, but we must listen for them.

In my case, many people suggested joining a support group. I myself facilitate various types of support groups. But that did not feel right to me at that time. I didn’t want to be with a group and listen to everyone’s hardship story. That didn’t feel supportive to me at the time. I also felt I didn’t want regular supportive counseling to help me through that period.

And so, lo and behold I happened upon a guest blog post by an art therapist whose post on nature, mindfulness and creativity resonated with me. Perhaps some form of creativity would be something new and exciting to take on.

I’m certainly not an art person as I only draw stick figures; but I know that creativity extends way beyond drawing and the high arts. And so, I began my therapy of meditation and visualization, mandala-making and creating coping cards, among other creative-making symbols of a difficult journey, with a Jungian arts therapist. Once I was through with my treatments, I continued working with her on healing some of those lurking cobwebs of old pain.

Mr/Dr Google stared at me all along when I was able to sit at my computer. I resisted checking him out as I did not want to read on anything I was going through. I didn’t want to read of any gloomy predictions or life-threatening side-effects to the meds I was taking. In this case, and quite different from who and what I usually am and do, my ignorance was bliss. It served me well here.

Connect with what intuitively feels right for you.

Finding the Silver Linings

A form of gratitude, these ‘at leasts’ served me well.

At least I could have people visit me out on my deck since it was summer and warm weather. If it had been wintertime, I wouldn’t have had people come inside to visit me for fear of germs and outside sickness.

At least I was in good enough overall health that I was a candidate to have my treatments at home and not have to be hospitalized for five days each cycle. Although I was hesitant to do this for insecurity and fear something could go wrong, my doctor encouraged me to give it a try. And when all went well the first time cycle I did it, I was hooked (pun intended, as I was hooked up to a small pack of chemo for those days) and continued the rest of my 5 treatments at home.

None of this poo-poos or minimizes the hardship of it all, but it does help to notice and take in those slivers of light that help us go through and get through the hard times.

We must find some light through the darkness to help ourselves and keep us from sinking. And speaking of this… my new book just came out – Light Through Darkness: Miracles Along My Cancer Journey. I hope you will check it out and read my story.

Reflections:

What’s your way of getting through tough times and situations? Do you do support groups well or are they not your thing? What does your gut feeling tell you in tough times?

But dates are selling out fast.

 New year, new ‘do.