Month: January 2025

Did you know music can be a powerful tool to support individuals with dementia?

Two new studies have shown that music, used correctly, can help keep dementia at bay. This is encouraging news for both family caregivers and senior living communities looking for ways to enhance care.

Recent research in the UK has highlighted how music therapy can help reduce distress and improve the overall well-being of those with advanced dementia. In fact, more than half of the people living with dementia in the UK are in advanced stages of the condition. Studies suggest that music therapy can bring short-term relief from distress while boosting engagement and connection.

Researchers from the University of South Australia assessed the 24-hour activity patterns of nearly 400 people over age 60 and found that the type of activity individuals engage in matters. Mentally stimulating behaviors, such as reading, listening to music, praying, crafting and playing a musical instrument – as well as social behaviors like chatting with others – are beneficial for memory and thinking abilities, the study noted. More passive activities, like playing video games or watching TV, do not offer the same benefits.

What Makes Music Therapy So Effective?

A UK research team, made up of music therapists, psychologists, and specialists in geriatric psychiatry, reviewed a wealth of studies on music therapy. They worked with researchers and staff with Music for Dementia, UK, an organization that endorses Sage Stream. Their work included analyzing 16 key research articles, alongside systematic reviews and peer-reviewed studies.

What they found was fascinating: music-evoked memories, especially those tied to familiar songs, are recalled faster and tend to be more positive than other types of memories recalled without music. Researchers found that group sessions offered weekly or biweekly can be effective and provide opportunities for social interaction.

Interestingly, songs from a person’s formative years – typically ages 10 to 30 – often have the most impact. That said, preferences can change, so staying open to exploring other music is key. Group music sessions, held weekly or biweekly, have proven particularly effective in creating opportunities for social interaction and connection.

This idea aligns with insights from the Institute for Music and Neurological Function (IMNF). Connie Tomaino, IMNF co-founder with Oliver Sacks, in her book Music Has Power, talks about how to customize playlists using songs pertinent to their life but clearly emphasizes about being open to other songs, songs from before and after their generational sweet spot. That is why adult day centers ask me to perform Tennessee Whiskey!!!

The Role of Family and Care Staff

For music therapy to have the best outcomes, family members and care staff need to be involved. When they participate – whether it’s by helping plan sessions, providing feedback, or simply engaging during the therapy – communication improves, and staff attitudes toward care often shift for the better. That applies to a family caregiver engaging at home in a virtual music program. Don’t just set up the TV and walk away. Help your loved one participate in the program.

This collaborative approach creates intimate and uplifting moments for people with dementia, showcasing their strengths and humanity. It’s a reminder that these individuals are so much more than their diagnosis.

Live Stream Music Impactful

Music therapy is about active engagement, not passive listening. For example, live-streamed concerts where participants can interact with artists and one another have proven much more beneficial than simply watching a recorded performance. That is what obe company called Sage Stream offers. Real-time live concerts in all genres and timeframes of music where interaction, such as taking song requests or celebrating audience birthdays, is encouraged and acknowledged. They have a roster of more than 100 well-known, world-wide artists.

Is it music therapy? Consider this from Connie Tomaino:

“Sage Stream live music concerts help promote social, emotional and cognitive wellness. In-person programs are important but there will still be people who cannot attend. Sage Stream comes to them, removing barriers that would otherwise prevent participation. Here’s the key. Music-based TV or videos can be used therapeutically when there is shared interaction around music in real-time. A smart TV program will not have the intended effect if the TV is simply turned on. Sage Stream’s ability to have artists interact with the audience, taking requests, recognizing birthdays and such, makes it unique. On the viewer’s side, it is essential that a CNA or volunteer in senior living or a family caregiver helping their loved one, help deliver the program – urging clapping, singing and facilitating interaction with the artists.”

The Takeaway for You:

So, what’s the key message? Let’s replace some of those bingo sessions with music therapy! How do you incorporate music into your loved one’s care? Does their care facility use music as a tool for connection? Let’s keep the conversation going – music truly has the power to change lives.

He really looks up to his brother.

Who is the feisty you in 15-20 years? As we journey through life, it’s natural to reflect on our past and ponder the future. For those of us who are approaching or have surpassed 60, we sometimes overlook the extent of the number of years ahead of us. The next 20-25 years (or more!) offer a canvas brimming with possibilities and certainly marked by more than one live phase if we live it fully.

I sometimes hear women even younger than 60 describe themselves as “old” and that the most important part of life has been lived. In reality, 60 is considered by researchers to be the end of middle age. If we look at life as a three-part book, we have all the chapters of part 3 yet to write.

Instead of focusing on what we have done and who we were, what about relishing who we have become and what is ahead? Let’s take a look at the rich phases of life we lived during our “middle age,” in order to appreciate the breadth of possibilities in the years ahead.

Reflecting on the Past

How did you rock your life from 35 to 60? For many of us, this period is filled with a myriad of experiences, changes, and growth. It’s a time of both planned endeavors and unexpected twists, all of which have shaped who we are today.

Take a moment to think about the significant events in your mid-life. Write them down if it helps. As I reflected on my mid-life decades, I realized how diverse our personas can be over just 25 years. At 31, I embarked on a professional career at a telecom company, making the appropriate relocations and position changes.

At 40, I got married and soon after, began my doctoral studies. Five years later, at 45, I lost my career position but rebounded by starting my own business. At 50, I navigated a divorce and rediscovered myself as an independent woman. In my mid-50s, I received a serendipitous call to help start an MBA program, thus embracing my role as a professor for the next 15 years.

Your life, too, has been a rich tapestry of experiences. Appreciate all the roles you’ve played and the person you have become.

Embracing the Future

Now, it’s time to look ahead. What new adventures and identities await you? Who will you be at 80 or 90? It’s important to step away from ageist perceptions and embrace the array of opportunities before you.

More and more of us are achieving new milestones in our 60s, 70s, 80s, and even 90s. We’re earning degrees, writing books, making a difference in our communities, honing our creativity, exploring new talents, and finding innovative ways to stay engaged in life. Remember, 60-65 is now considered the end of middle age, not old age. You become old when you think you are.

Detach yourself from ageist notions and outdated stereotypes. Focus on those who are thriving in their later years, living vibrant and fulfilling lives. What do you envision for your future?

I invite you to not assume that you already know what the future will be. If you are anything like me, sometimes what we think a satisfying life looks like turns out to not be satisfying at all! What if you pause to explore possibilities, rather than accept stereotypes of what 65, 75, or 85 “should” look like?

Let ideas bubble up:

• What did you want to do when you were 12?
• What do you see others do that intrigues you, yet you think, “I can’t do that.”?
• What have you considered learning or doing, but your busy life didn’t have the bandwidth?
• What are you doing when you feel fulfilled and happy? How can you get more of that?
• What if you were 35 and could recreate your life? What would you do? Why not now?

The point is to let yourself notice and listen to your voice inside that often gets sidelined by assumptions about aging and familiarity with the status quo.

Cultivating an Inspired Life

As you contemplate the natural momentum of your life, think about what lies ahead. Imagine yourself at 85. What possibilities inspire you? What makes your heart sing?

I see myself still out hiking, traveling, and supporting older women as they realize the fullness of who they are in their seventh, eighth and ninth decades of life. I’m going to be bolder about my writing too! This vision makes me smile inside and out.

What visions for yourself make you smile? Hold onto these images and let them guide you.

Living life to the fullest doesn’t mean ignoring our mortality or denying the physical realities of aging. It means cultivating a hopeful heart and the resilience to embrace each day with energy, happiness, and fulfillment.

The key is to fill your life with meaning and joy. Embrace the richness of every phase of life and remember that delightful years are yet to come. You can download a self-assessment that introduces you to the three key areas associated with happiness and vitality as we age from my website. Here’s to thriving and living inspired lives well beyond 60!

Let’s Reflect:

Share your vision for your life in 10-20 years. What internal talk wants to hold you back? What do you tell yourself instead? How do you feel when you see yourself living your happy and full life in the years to come?

It’s available for purchase next week!

“Dear Lord, I would like to be blessed with patience BUT GIVE IT TO ME NOW!”

I mutter this prayer often, especially when someone mentions having their Christmas tree up on October 1. But by the time Christmas Day rolls around, their tree is bald, defeated, and slumped on the curb, waiting for the trash pickup the next day. These folks beam with pride as they confess to finishing their holiday shopping before the Halloween candy aisle is replaced with stockings to be hung by the chimney with care.

As we kick off this new year, I find myself reflecting on how I’ve spent years chasing productivity and perfection – crossing things off lists and rushing toward the next task, holiday, or goal. But a recent tumble onto a cactus taught me a valuable lesson: life isn’t just about getting to the end. It’s about savoring the moments in between.

The Crosser-Outer

Let me introduce you to a particular breed of human: the Crosser-Outer. These folks live for the thrill of crossing things off a list, and they will let you know it. They are impatient with having a list with uncrossed-out items on it. They find relief when they can take that pen and cross something off, even going so far as to write something down that has already been done, just to savor a moment to cross it off.

When I was still teaching, these Crosser-Outers were perpetually put out by life. They’d sigh loudly in the teacher’s lounge, clutching their planner like a lifeline, and declare, “You wouldn’t understand; I’m just SO busy.” Really? Because the rest of us weren’t exactly sunning on chaise lounges sipping margaritas. We, too, were raising families, ferrying kids to a variety of commitments, and worrying about aging parents or grandparents. But I have been a Crosser-Outer my whole life, and I want to change.

Antici-Pointment

There’s a downside to this lifestyle, and it has a name: antici-pointment. It’s the tragic irony of getting so caught up in anticipation that you are disappointed that you’ve missed out on the joy of the moment itself. It stems from an internal impatience to conquer the dreaded to-do list.

Antici-pointment means you are convinced that getting things done will lead to happiness. You set up your Christmas tree in early November, not out of excitement, but out of pure panic that something – a snowstorm, an unexpected flu outbreak – might prevent you from enjoying it later.

By the time the actual holiday rolls around, you’re so burnt out from listening to Christmas songs, you couldn’t sing another la, la, or la.

Falling on a Cactus Near the Finish Line

I have always been in a rush to finish. That is, until I had a literal fall from grace – and onto a cactus.

It happened on a long, warm, spring hike in the desert Southwest. The scenery on the trail was stunning – towering saguaros, surprising wildflowers, and even petroglyphs – it was like something out of a National Geographic special.

But then, my brain did what it always does: it got ahead of itself because I was impatient for the next thing on my vacation checklist. I started thinking about the pool at our resort and the cold margarita that awaited me. Suddenly, the natural beauty around me paled in comparison to the promise of lime and just a bit of salt on the rim of a frosty glass.

I started speeding up, laser-focused on the rental car in the parking lot shimmering below me at the end of the trail. And that’s when it happened. My foot caught on a rock, and I went flying. Unfortunately, I didn’t land on soft sand. Nope. I landed squarely on a prickly pear cactus.

If you’ve never had the pleasure of falling onto a cactus, let me tell you: it’s an experience – not the “transformative, journaling about it later” kind, but the “screaming, crying, swearing loudly” kind. I ended up limping back to the car wearing my son’s T-shirt as emergency shorts.

The Lesson in the Pain

That tumble taught me something, though. My rush to get to the end had robbed me of the joy of the journey, and this wasn’t just about hiking. I’d been racing through life – holidays, projects, even finishing this article – just trying to get to the finish line. Falling on a cactus taught me about looking for the moments along the way – the pewter sky, the crunch of footsteps on the trail, and the laughter shared when you realize no one even notices that you are wearing a Darth Vader T-shirt instead of shorts.

And now that I’m older, I’ve started to notice something different. While everyone else gushes about the firsts – the first step, the first love, the first grandchild – I’ve become acutely aware of the lasts. In fact, I wrote an entire article for Sixty and Me about the poignancy of “lasts.” (Here’s the Last Laughs and Lessons if you’d like to read it.)

Slowing Down

So, I’ve decided it’s time to live life with less antici-pointment. And of course, I’m staying far, far away from prickly pear cacti. This year, I even gave myself permission to let go of the rush. The Christmas tree went up in mid-December – gasp! The gifts were wrapped when I felt like it. And you know what? The world didn’t end when my holiday cards didn’t get sent.

Because really, the best gift I can give – to myself and my loved ones – is the gift of presence, not presents. And if I find myself praying for patience and it doesn’t show up right away, that’s okay. I’m learning to wait.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What is your take on being impatient? Where do you fall on the line between procrastinator and crosser-outer? Do you have advice for the rest of us? Do you ever have a “haste makes waste” story to share in the comments?