Month: January 2025

I had planned the trip for three years. I had the train tickets. The rental car. Hotel reservations. Non-refundable tickets for a musical, a lobster dinner cruise, and a whale-watching tour. All four granddaughters were super excited: we were going to Prince Edward Island – just grandmother and granddaughters!

Accidents Happen, but They Don’t Ruin Our Fun

But, less than 48 hours before we were supposed to leave, my 10-year-old granddaughter fell off the middle level of our back deck, breaking one wrist, spraining the other, and receiving a mild concussion.

Did we still go on the trip? You bet we did!

Actually, she was just taking a page out of her father’s playbook: our son who fell off his bike and broke his elbow right before we left on a big trip to Yellowstone. But in both of those cases, their injuries rarely come up when we discuss the trips. We just revel in all the fun memories.

The thing is, kids have accidents. They’re exuberant and irrepressible. They can be thoughtless and clumsy, and they don’t always have much common sense. But that’s no reason not to plan and take trips with them. It’s life, and if something unforeseen happens, it can be a way to teach kids to pivot and work through adversity. Don’t throw in the towel. Push on.

Trips and 10-Year-Olds

There must be something about 10-year-olds. In 2019, my husband and I and a small group of other adult relatives took our 10-year-old grandson on a trip to Bastogne, Belgium, for the 75^th anniversary of the Battle of the Bulge, a battle his great-grandfather fought in. The battle took place in deep winter – so that’s when the anniversary celebration was held.

Our grandson showed up at the airport with no winter coat. (His parents thought it was in the car. It wasn’t.) Fortunately, his older sister was wearing a puffy navy unisex winter coat which she (reluctantly) gave him.

That was just the beginning. You can see the list of all the things that went wrong on that trip here (not all my grandson’s fault!), and if you read down the list, you might be tempted to think we had a terrible time. Nothing could be farther from the truth! We had a wonderful time making once-in-a-lifetime memories. Including, on a side trip to England, a visit to the Tower of London!

If you’re a grandparent, that means you raised kids. And if you raised kids, you know what I’m talking about when I say things will go wrong and accidents will happen. But wouldn’t you go back and take (most of) those trips with your kids again if you had the chance?

The value of and the joys contained in skip-gen travel will outweigh any mishaps that might happen along the way. Don’t let worries about what could happen prevent you from the joys and precious memories that most certainly will happen when you travel with your grandchild. Summer is not that far away (no, really!) so the time to start planning is now.

They grow up so fast!

Your Thoughts:

Have you done a skip-gen trip? Who did you take along? Where did you go? Did any accidents happen? What was your attitude afterward? Did you find your silver lining?

The holidays are over, but the treats? They’re still lingering. Leftover cookies on the counter, chocolates in the pantry, and that tin of toffee someone gifted you. January can feel like a tug-of-war with sugar cravings as you navigate the indulgences of the past few weeks.

If you’re feeling out of control around treats, you’re not alone. Guilt and frustration can creep in when sweets seem to call to you. But here’s the good news: you can reset your habits and enjoy your favorite foods without guilt or feeling like they control you.

I know this because I’ve been there. Years ago, I found myself obsessing over a cake at a party, consumed with thoughts like, Can I eat it? Will people notice? Will they judge me? When the cake was gone, I felt both disappointed and relieved – disappointed I didn’t get any, but relieved I didn’t have to fight myself anymore.

That moment led me to reexamine my relationship with food. Over time, I learned how to let go of guilt and find freedom in balance. And that’s what I want for you.

Let’s explore the three most common mistakes that keep you stuck – and how to overcome them.

Mistake #1: Trying to Cut Treats Completely

When you’ve overindulged, the instinct to “cut it all out” can feel like the best reset. But extreme restriction rarely works. Labeling treats as “forbidden” only makes them more tempting – what I call the “forbidden fruit effect.”

Sugar is naturally addictive, and telling yourself you’ll never have chocolate again often leads to cycles of restriction and overindulgence. The result? Feeling even more out of control.

The antidote to deprivation is balance. Planning small indulgences helps you enjoy treats without guilt or the urge to binge. Savoring a square of dark chocolate with tea, for example, can feel luxurious – without regret.

Mistake #2: Relying on Willpower Alone

Willpower seems like the solution, but it’s unreliable. By the end of a long day, stress and fatigue weaken resolve, making it harder to resist temptation.

I’ve been there – standing in the pantry, telling myself, just one chocolate-covered pretzel, but ending up eating far more. I felt defeated and blamed my “lack of willpower.”

The truth? Willpower wasn’t the problem. The real solution was creating a supportive environment and a plan that didn’t rely on it. By portioning treats, pairing them with nourishing foods, and planning when I’d indulge, I took back control.

Planning ahead reduces decision fatigue and allows you to enjoy treats intentionally.

Mistake #3: Eating Without Awareness

Mindless eating – grabbing snacks while scrolling your phone or eating out of the bag – disconnects you from your food. Without awareness, you often overeat without even tasting it.

For years, I’d eat straight from the pantry, telling myself I’d “do better tomorrow.” Nothing changed until I started asking, Am I hungry? When I found myself standing in front of the pantry. That simple pause helped me slow down and savor my food.

Mindful eating makes a world of difference. By sitting down, focusing on your treat, and savoring every bite, you’ll feel more satisfied and less likely to overindulge.

Taking Action

Overcoming these mistakes doesn’t require perfection – it’s about small, intentional changes that help you feel more in control.

One client recently shared her post-holiday experience: “I’ve eaten more stocking stuffer chocolates than I wanted, but this is the first time I’ve lost weight between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I even lost a pound over New Year’s!”She realized that while she wasn’t perfect, she was making progress – and that was worth celebrating.

Here are a few steps to regain control of your relationship with treats:

Practice Portioning

Serve a small amount on a plate, sit down, and enjoy it. Give yourself permission to savor every bite.

Pair Treats with Protein or Fiber

Balance your blood sugar by pairing a treat with something nourishing, like a handful of nuts or fruit.

Plan Your Indulgences

Decide when and how you’ll enjoy treats so they don’t feel forbidden. This eliminates the urgency to overindulge.

If you’re ready to take the next step, download my free resource, 8 Basic Habits That Healthy People Do, Guide and Checklist. It’s full of practical tools to help you build sustainable habits – without guilt or restriction.

Moving Forward

Guilt doesn’t need to be part of enjoying food. Treats are meant to be savored, not a source of shame. By practicing portioning, pairing, and planning, you can move toward a healthier relationship with food.

Take a moment to reflect: How do you want to feel moving forward? Imagine waking up energized, confident, and in control – not because you were perfect, but because you embraced balance.

If you need more support, reach out. I’m here to help you create the freedom you deserve.

If you’re looking for a deeper dive into managing cravings from all angles, check out my Sugar-Cravings Reset course on Udemy, designed to help you break free from sugar’s grip and take back control.

Reflection Questions:

What is your biggest problem around food? Do you give in to your sugar cravings or have you learned to manage them? What strategies work for you?

They divorced in 2020.

At least once a week I receive an email or cell phone message that is a scam, and I bet you do, too. Despite television announcements, magazine and newspaper articles, and warnings posted in public places, scams and other fraudulent schemes take a toll – to the tune of about $10 billion in 2023, according to FTC fraud data!

That does not include the emotional toll as well as all the time to attend to account changes and reporting requirements. It can happen to any of us. No one is immune. I recently wrote a blog about the scam that caught me off guard: My Scam Story: Do As I Say, Not As I Do.

According to FTC data from 2023, 2.6 million people (about the same as 2022) reported fraud and one in four reported losing money to scams, with a median loss of $500 per person. Of the people who reported their age, younger adults ages 20-29 reported losing money more often than older adults age 70+. Email was the #1 contact method in 2023, especially when scammers pretended to be a business or government agency to steal money.

If younger adults are more likely to be scammed, why is there so much publicity about scams against the elderly? The older age group is more likely to lose larger amounts of money or other assets and is also most likely to be permanently hurt by their loss. This is a huge problem and all of us need to be aware of the most common scams and talk with our families about them.

Read Common Scams Targeting Seniors and How to Avoid Them.

The Most Common Scams

Of the scams reported to the FTC in 2023, these are the most common:

Imposter Scams

Imposter scams remained the top fraud category, with reported losses of $2.7 billion in 2023. These scams include people pretending to be your bank’s fraud department [my experience], the government, a relative in distress, a well-known business, or a technical support expert.

Investment Scams

While investment-related scams were the fourth most-reported fraud category, losses in this category grew. People reported median losses of $7.7K – up from $5K in 2022.

Social Media Scams

Scams starting on social media accounted for the highest total losses at $1.4 billion – an increase of $250 million from 2022. But scams that started with a phone call caused the highest per-person loss ($1,480 average loss).

How did scammers prefer that people pay? Bank transfers and payments accounted for the highest losses ($1.86 billion) with cryptocurrency a close second ($1.41 billion reported in losses).

Investment Fraud

What is investment fraud? Investment fraud is a white-collar crime, and it’s when someone purposely misleads or deceives an investor for financial gain. It is illegal for any party to hide material information about investments – such as the risks involved – to induce investors into investing. Investment scams abound and come in various forms. Here are a couple of examples from my experience.

My Professional Experience

When I was an advisor in a brokerage firm, I was referred to an elderly woman with a sum of money to invest. As I recall, it was about $100,000. After talking with her, I became very concerned. Apparently, she had also been contacted by someone associated with her church. That person guaranteed her a very nice return on her investment, a higher rate than was currently attainable through any investment or mix of investments I could find. That immediately made me skeptical – a guarantee of a higher rate than publicly available sounds like an investment that is too good to be true.

After we talked for a while and I started to gain her trust, I suggested that she might want to double-check the person’s background and get more information about the investment, and then we would talk again. However, when I contacted her again it was too late. She had already invested her money. To give her credit, she did talk with church friends, and she did read the pamphlet given to her, but she was charmed. She was not savvy enough to ask hard questions. Unfortunately, I read some time later that several people associated with her church (affinity group) had been caught in this Ponzi scheme and lost all their money.

A Story I Read About

Another investment fraud case I read about involved two brokers employed by a large, well-known firm. Their grandmother was awarded millions of dollars in a FINRA settlement because they mishandled her account. Both the grandsons and the firm were liable. They breached their fiduciary duty, they made inappropriate risky investments, and one grandson even went as far as forging his grandmother’s signature. Granted, that situation is rare, but many were duped by Bernie Madoff and his Ponzi scheme – the largest known in history.

Here is a list of common investment frauds:

Ponzi Schemes

These scams promise high returns with little risk, using funds from new investors to pay earlier investors instead of generating legitimate profits.

Pyramid Schemes

Like Ponzi schemes, these rely on recruiting new investors, where returns are paid primarily from the investments of later recruits rather than from profit.

Pump and Dump

Scammers artificially inflate the price of a stock by spreading false or misleading information. Once the price rises, they sell off their shares, leaving others with worthless stock.

High-Yield Investment Programs (HYIPs)

These often promise unrealistic returns, claiming to invest in foreign exchange or cryptocurrency, but usually just use new investors’ money to pay earlier investors.

Forex (Foreign Exchange) Scams

Some companies promote forex trading with promises of guaranteed profits, often leading to losses when investors cannot withdraw their funds.

Real Estate Scams

These may involve fake property listings or promising high returns on real estate investments that don’t exist.

Fake Investment Platforms

Scammers create fake websites that mimic legitimate trading platforms, luring individuals to invest money that they cannot recover.

Social Media Scams

With the rise of social media, scammers promote “get rich quick” schemes or solicit investments through platforms like Instagram or Facebook.

Affinity Fraud

Scammers exploit relationships within communities, often targeting religious or ethnic groups, to promote investment schemes they trust.

Advance Fee Scams

These involve promising a large return on investment in exchange for an upfront fee, after which the promised investment or return never materializes.

Always conduct thorough research and, if feasible, consult with a financial advisor who is a fiduciary before investing.

Return of Romance Scams

For those of you who are single, the romance scam was recently highlighted on a major newscast. After meeting on an online dating site (match has a fake picture and bio) and getting to know you and the relationship develops, the fraudster requests money. Maybe the money is for a recent setback or travel expenses, or even an investment. Sometimes an in-person meeting may be set up (the fraudsters hire someone to impersonate the online match). As soon as the money is received, the relationship is over.

Be Cautious, Not Afraid

New variations of investment scams appear all the time. Scammers are clever and even though I was scammed, I will not live in fear, nor do I wish that for you. It pays to be a little skeptical, however. Do not click on any links or follow any instructions without checking thoroughly. Ask questions if you are contacted by phone or just hang up if it sounds fishy. If an email looks suspicious, delete it. I especially look for bad grammar and poor English. Ask yourself – does this make sense?

Be smart, be vigilant, but beware!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How do you identify a scam email or text? Have you noticed an increase in the number of potential scam contacts? Other than being vigilant, do you have any ideas of steps we can take to stop these scams?

Games are the best – they sharpen our brains and help us strategize and connect with others. Plus, they’re fun! While planning for our Golden Years is not a game by any measure, playing “The What If?” game can help all older adult players prepare for its pitfalls and devise realistic contingencies.

The Basics of the Game

“The What If?” game is for one or more players and requires no game pieces, boards, cards or timers. In fact, you don’t even need to keep score or play with other people. You can play it solo or while sipping cocktails with your favorite longtime friends. There are really no rules to “The What If Game,” except to be honest with your answers.

The game’s alluring purpose is to consider possible scenarios that may occur in their senior lives and respond to the proposed challenge with realistic, workable solutions. For example, my question might be, “How will I remain independent if I can no longer drive?” A winning answer to this question might be, “Uber!” So, there we have it.

The Benefits of the Game

“The What If?” game is a fun and practical way to rewire our brains to accept the new realities of getting older – including how we will mitigate some of the challenges, pay for them, and change our lifestyles to accommodate them. This planful thinking is articulated with much more scholarly authority in Dr. Roxanne Leipzig’s bestselling book, Honest Aging: An Insider’s Guide to the Second Half of Life (A Johns Hopkins Press Health Book).

In it, she includes a very helpful chart that addresses Aging in Place (Table 18.1). In this exercise, Leipzig features a column of activities, including things like housework, laundry, cooking and home repairs, and challenges the reader (presumably the older adult) to fill in the blanks under the columns “Who Does This Now?,” “If You/They Couldn’t, How Could You Get This Done?” and lastly “Who Would Do/Arrange/Pay for This?”

While not a game, this charting exercise is extremely helpful for thinking through the realities of older age’s little hiccups so we can be better prepared to manage them.

Getting AI’s Answers

If you are not a reliable or honest answerer for “The What If?” game, there’s even better news for you. The advancement of artificial intelligence has made it easy – and revealing – to answer these tough questions on your behalf. I’ll show you what I mean.

I opened up ChatGPT and asked it the following “What If” game prompt:

What if I am in my 70s living in my home and I have a stroke and am unable to drive or get around my home unaided?

ChatGPT’s Response:

“If you’re in your 70s living at home and you have a stroke that affects your ability to drive or move around your home independently, it will likely necessitate additional support and adjustments to your caregiving plan. Here’s how your situation might change and how it could impact your costs:

Increased Care Needs

Following a stroke, you may require more intensive care, including assistance with activities of daily living (ADLs) such as bathing, dressing, toileting, and mobility. This may increase the number of hours of caregiving required per day, potentially leading to higher costs for in-home care.

Home Modifications

Depending on the extent of your mobility impairment, you may need to make modifications to your home to improve accessibility and safety. This could include installing grab bars, ramps, stairlifts, and other adaptive equipment. These modifications can incur additional expenses upfront but may reduce the risk of accidents and improve your quality of life in the long run.

Transportation

Since you’re unable to drive, you’ll need alternative transportation options for medical appointments, grocery shopping, and other errands. This could involve hiring transportation services, using ride-sharing apps, or relying on family members or friends for assistance. Transportation costs should be factored into your overall budget.

Rehabilitation Services

After a stroke, rehabilitation services such as physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy may be necessary to help regain lost abilities and improve functional independence. These services may be covered by health insurance, but copayments, deductibles, and out-of-pocket expenses can still add up.

Caregiver Training

Caregivers may require additional training to assist you effectively after a stroke. This could include learning techniques for safely transferring you, providing assistance with mobility aids, and recognizing signs of complications or emergencies. Training costs should be considered in your budget.

Given these factors, the costs of aging in place after a stroke with increased care needs and mobility limitations could be higher than your previous estimates. While it’s challenging to provide an exact figure without knowing your specific circumstances, it’s essential to reassess your caregiving plan, budget, and resources in light of these changes. Consulting with healthcare professionals, social workers, and financial advisors can help you navigate these challenges and ensure that you receive the support you need to age in place safely and comfortably.

You can play this game all day long AND brush up on your technology savvy while embracing new tools. It’s really a win-win for everyone. Preparing for aging and our Golden Years requires serious thought, planning and acceptance of a great many new realities. This is hard work and sometimes thinking about it can be depressing or inspire anxiety. But by playing “The What If?” game and being open to and familiar with opportunities to overcome challenges in the future, we can all feel a little more prepared for the end game.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How do you get your mind prepared to handle some of the unforeseen situations of senior living? How are you and your family preparing for this season of life? What prompts can you think of that would be helpful in mitigating future challenges?