Month: January 2025

It
is a well-known fact that we begin to lose our memories as we age. I’m not talking
about serious conditions like dementia, but just day-to-day problems of
bringing something to mind. Much of it isn’t too important, but occasionally it
is.

Conversations with No Helpful Details

My
conversations with my husband often go something like this:

“I
saw that nice guy just now in the supermarket and said hello.”

“What
guy?”

“You
know, the one we met last summer on a boat – he was tall and very nice. Had a
wife with red hair and I think there was a small dog.”

“Oh,
yes, that guy. He was very nice. Are
they living near here now?”

Or

“Shall
we go see that film that is on down the road?”

“What
film?”

“You
know, the one that was made by the same guy as that terrific film that had
really good American actress in it. We really liked it.”

“Oh,
yes, good idea. What time is it on?”

How
many conversations take place among older couples that sound something like
that? Never a name in sight – or any that really help. Anyone from outside
would be really baffled. Yet we often know what we are talking about.

These
conversations can be annoying, as we don’t always get the connection we want.
They can, of course, go on a lot longer, but you get the idea.

But
they are not the real problem.

Remembering the Vital Details

What
really bothers me is when I can’t remember the really important facts that I
should have at my fingertips. I am not talking about who was President in 1953
or what is the capital of Switzerland.

No,
it is all those little personal facts that you ought to remember – but can’t.
It can get you into trouble if you aren’t careful.

When
we were younger, our friends had husbands and children and you could generally
remember their names. You met them, after all, and knew something about them.
You could picture them in your mind.

How Are the Grandchildren?

But
now they have grandchildren who you’ve never met. They’ve talked loads about
them, of course, but your memory isn’t what it was, and you lack the visual
framework.

It
is so hard to keep up. How many did they have? From which children? And wasn’t
there one with a problem, but which one and what was the issue?

You
meet for the occasional chat and try to re-make contact. Didn’t this friend have
a daughter with twin boys? Or was that someone else? Were they born a long time
ago or are they still small? Time goes so fast they are probably older than you
think.

Well,
you can usually find a way of saying “I’m sorry, but I can’t remember the names
of your grandchildren,” which gives leeway for age, sex, and number. And which
child had what children when. Sorting that out will get you back on track.

How Are the Children?

But
it gets harder, especially about those near and dear to them. Take their
grownup children, whose lives you have heard a lot about over the years. You
haven’t seen them for ages or, perhaps, ever.

You
have a vague memory that there was some problem in the past that you were told
about. Was there a son with a messy marital problem – did they get divorced or
sort it out? Or was it the daughter? You should know, but it has
completely gone from your head.

Or
was it a work problem? Did they get fired or made redundant? Little details can
be very important. It looks thoughtless to have forgotten.

Perhaps
you can get by with “How is that son of yours getting on?” and hope that covers
all contingencies. With luck, you won’t have to reveal your forgetfulness.

The Parents

But
then comes the killer. You are friends with an older couple who you don’t see
often, and you cannot for the life of you remember whose parents are still
alive.

You
can’t say “How’s your father doing?” if he died two years ago in difficult
circumstances. But you don’t want to offer condolences if the man is in rude
health.

Two
people means four parents. Oh dear. And this does matter to them. It’s not like
the names of their grandchildren.

This
happens more often than I like. I’ve never found a good solution, aside from
keeping the conversation going long enough and hoping it comes up naturally.
Sometimes, a friend will say, “After my father died….” And I breathe a big sigh
of relief.

What Seems Like a Good Solution

One
should probably keep a notebook for all such information – little lists of
children, grandchildren, and what they are all up to. And – definitely – the
deaths of parents. It would make conversations a whole lot easier.

But,
if it is any consolation, remember there is a good chance that your friends
have the same problem as you do.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How often do you forget names? Do you have problems remembering the personal family details of friends? What do you do about it? Please share with our community.

I’m a 68-year-old reformed over-packer. You know the type. We want ‘options’ while traveling, which, in my case, meant I threw everything I had into my suitcase the night before the trip, assuming I would “figure it all out” on the fly.

Invariably, I ended up carting far more than I needed and dealt with an explosion every time I unzipped my bag, with tops and socks and underwear popping out all over the hotel bed like a Jack-in-the-Box.

By the time I hit 60 I was so sick and tired of dealing with my aching back (from lugging around a 50-pound bag that should have weighed 15), I quit overpacking. Cold turkey.

My secret? Scarves.

Worked Like Magic

Most packing lists include a scarf to jazz up a travel wardrobe or act as a lightweight wrap. That’s fine, but I’m suggesting a more radical approach. My scarf secrets turn 6 articles of clothing into 27 outfits, no sleight of hand required. (Technically, it’s more than 27 but I lost count!)

The Wardrobe Magician’s Basic Tools

• 1 pair of khaki pants
• 1 pair of black pants
• 1 pair of dark-wash blue jeans
• 1 white, long-sleeved cotton t-shirt
• 1 gray, long or short-sleeved cotton t-shirt
• 1 black tank top

Basic Props

• 1 black belt
• 1 pair of black flats
• 1 pair of gold hoop earrings
• 1 pair of silver hoop earrings
• Gold bangles
• Silver bangles

The “Rabbit in the Hat”

• 1 medium weight scarf in a multi-colored paisley or floral pattern; muted tones with a pop of bright color if possible (examples: wine red, turquoise, green)
• 1 light-to-medium weight scarf in an animal print (brown and black tones)
• 1 light weight scarf of any pattern in muted brown, gray, and white tones

With these essentials handy, before you can say, “Abracadabra!” you have 27 outfits from which to choose!

Now, at this point you might be saying to yourself, “Impossible! How can this be?”

Because we are friends, I am willing to break the ‘magician’s code’ just this once to tell you how this amazing feat can be accomplished by even the most novice of sartorial sorcerers.

My Magical Outfits

Here are my three magic scarves:

Waist Sash

Shawl Wrap

Neck Twist

Here is one example of how the same scarf, with the black tank and pants, can transform a casual look into a dressier one:

You get the picture – the combinations are (almost) endless. And, as with most magic tricks, the secret is quite simple. By mixing the same basic clothing pieces with a different scarf style, you can go from day-to-evening and back again with the flick of a wrist.

Although the basic outfits may seem similar, very often where you are today is not where you were yesterday, which is also the argument for just bringing three outfits on your trip and rotating them every day, but that’s no fun!

So, go ahead: before your next trip, put all those extra sweaters, dresses, and pantsuits back in your closet. Tuck three little scarves in your suitcase instead. Marvel at all the extra room you have in your suitcase.

Now imagine all the new clothes you can buy because you have space to bring them back home. (I said I was reformed, I didn’t say I was perfect!)

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What tricks have you got for extending your wardrobe without expanding your suitcase? Do you have favorite scarves that have seen the world alongside you? Join the conversation!

I love New Year’s Resolution time of year not because of the goal setting but because it gets us thinking about the results we seek. Once you know your desired outcome, your best success is focusing on the small, actionable steps that ultimately lead to your desired results. Each small step is like a mini goal, a doable task, an identifiable action that, once accomplished, should build momentum to help you achieve the next small step.

Where Are You Now?

Often, our New Year resolutions are related to health or finance. I believe those two aspects of life are so interrelated (hence the name of my business Mind, Money, Motion), but it’s like anything: you can’t improve something until you know where you are to begin with. So my challenge to you is to make this the year you look around to see where you are financially and then “get your house in order.”

To know where you are, you need to start with an inventory. Then, identify the homework required after you can clearly see what you have. Taking care of yourself now and your family in the future by getting financially organized is a solid financial foundation which enables you to make wise long-term decisions going forward.

A Way to Get Started

That concept of taking an inventory and then creating a homework list was how my free workshop, Get Your Docs in a Row, was born years ago. I am the oldest of four children, a mother of four children, and a Mimi of 10 grandchildren, so I feel very comfortable in my clients’ “financial mother” role. I am a bit of a mother hen by nature, always looking out for and taking care of keeping the house and everyone in it in order.

So, for a while, I conducted my virtual workshop monthly, quarterly, and then twice a year. Good news: I have made it “evergreen,” which means it is available on demand on my website whenever a wise woman decides she is ready to get her docs in a row from the comfort of her own home. Plus, I provide the financial inventory worksheet at no charge!

Unfortunate Realities

I wish I could stop accumulating more stories from families that did not have their docs in a row. Even those of us in the field of finance have stories. No one is immune. Often, this is the case when finances, estate planning, money matters, or whatever you want to call it, either never comes up as a topic of discussion or never goes deep enough to understand the current situation completely. That is true whether you are the parent or the adult child.

Common Issues

Too often, there is no conversation or what I call just a “surface” conversation. The surface is scratched when someone mentions that, “yes, I’m all set on my estate planning.” That usually means that there are documents in place (hopefully a will and/or trust and powers of attorney for health care and finances).

But how long ago were they drafted? Is it a case where life or the laws have changed? Or even more commonly, has the “homework” been completed? If there was a trust drafted, was it “funded”? Do beneficiary designations match what the documents say is supposed to happen? Do the appropriate people know where to find the documents, passwords, and other statements, titles, and records?

Preparing Means Happy Endings

Fortunately, I also get to hear happy ending stories too. As evidenced in the thank you notes and comments I receive after helping a spouse or family after a loved one has passed:

• “I can honestly say that most of the items on your list after my husband passed, have all been completed because of your help or ongoing encouragement. I can’t thank you enough for your help!”
• “I can’t imagine how difficult this would have been had you not made sure we were well prepared in advance before my father passed. This was hard enough!”

An Open House Tour

Join me for a 12-step financial Open House tour. A series of mini videos with many options, tools, and different places to start…one of them is sure to speak to you. I promise you will be glad you came along for the ride!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

If you had to step in to help your parents or pick up the pieces after a loss or a spouse right now, how would that go for you? Are there tasks that you know still need to be done? And what about the likelihood that we often don’t know what we don’t know? Please share any experiences that could help other women.

There are three longish books in this first installment of my winter book comments. I finally got my hands on Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver. It did not disappoint. The wait list at the library is short because it came out in 2022.

Then I saw a new book from Hampton Sides, The Wide Wide Sea, about Captain James Cook. A historical thriller about a voyage of discovery through the mostly uncharted Western Pacific Ocean. Several years ago, I visited the Big Island, Hawaii, and saw the small, stark monument commemorating the place of Cook’s murder. This book brought that moment to life.

Keeping with Sides, I took a chance with a book about the Korean War. Bingo! Another winner. If you don’t read much historical creative non-fiction, I strongly recommend Hampton Sides to make you comfortable with this genre.

The Exchange by John Grisham (Vintage Books, 2023)

A quick enjoyable read. Grisham still churns out a decent legal thriller in record time. In The Exchange, he returns to the protagonists from his first book, The Firm, Mitch and Abby McDeere. Now they are a middle-aged couple, successful and content. Of course, Grisham can’t leave them well enough alone, and they become involved in a prisoner exchange in Tunisia. Good read for an airplane, the beach, or lazing away time over the long Christmas/New Year holiday as I did.

Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver (Harper, 2022)

Kingsolver is such an engaging writer. Even at 560 pages, you want the story to continue. She takes us into the black holes of Oxy addiction and fentanyl death in Appalachia. Just as in Huck Finn or David Copperfield, we keep rooting for the young man who tells us his story. Highly recommended.

The Wide Wide Sea: Imperial Ambition, First Contact and the Fateful Final Voyage of Captain James Cook by Hampton Sides (Doubleday, 2024)

Here we go with another great history book by Hampton Sides. This time he takes on Captain James Cook, the great British explorer, who is assigned by George III to find the Northwest Passage. To do this, he sails East from England in 1776 and across the Pacific to the relatively unknown western side of North America. He accidentally discovers the Hawaiian Islands! They were recorded on no previous maps. In the end, he is murdered on the Big Island of Hawaii by unhappy natives.

Through his creative magic with narrative, illustrated with quotations and original journals, Sides makes the journey a page-turner. Highly recommended.

On Desperate Ground: The Epic Story of Chosin Reservoir – the Greatest Battle of the Korean War by Hampton Sides (Doubleday, 2018)

I could not put this book down. The Korean War was fought from 1950 – 1953; I was six – eight years old. My Uncle Harry was in the Marines in Korea, yet I know nothing about what he did there. I will find out.

The book is about the attempt by the X Corps, a combination of U.S. Army, Marines, Navy, South Korean Army, and various U.N. troops from the UK and other countries, to take the northern part of Korea by routing the North Korean military. Unknown was that Communist China was entering the war from the north with hundreds of thousands of indoctrinated foot soldiers. That, combined with the sub-zero weather in North Korea, overcame the X Corps advance and almost gave them no way out.

Sides provides plenty of details about the campaign and makes you care about the soldiers and officers he brings to life with personal stories. Never thought this would be a book for me, but I’m really trusting Hampton Sides to take me inside of history. I never felt this was a history book; it’s creative non-fiction at its best. Highly recommended.

Standing Heavy by GauZ’ (Biblioasis, 2023)

This is such an interesting little book. Originally written in French by an Ivory Coast immigrant to France, it tells the stories of the men who “guard” all the important retail stores on the main shopping streets of Paris. Serving as a guard in industrial areas also plays a role, but the fun is how the guards deal with tedium, bad behavior, and daily reminders of lower-class vs upper-class life in retail Paris.

GauZ’ begins the book with a slang dictionary used to describe the customers and the work. Thus, to ask a fellow immigrant if he is “standing heavy,” asks if he is in the retail guard business. Woven throughout is the story of an Ivorian immigrant, life in the Ivory Coast, life in France, and the sadness of both. Recommended.

The Vegetarian by Han Kang (Hogarth, 2016)

This novel won the International Booker Prize and lots of other top awards.

Thank goodness this book is short – 208 pages. The story concerns a youngish woman, Yeong-hye, who starves herself (maybe to death) after a dream causes her to give up animal products. The first part is told from the point of view (POV) of her husband, who married her because she was bland and would not cause trouble for his career. Yeong-hye’s vegetarianism wreaks havoc with her family and her husband.

The second part is told from the POV of her brother-in-law who lusts after her as she wastes away. Yeong-hye finds a kind of sexual release unknown with her husband.

The third part is told from the POV of her sister, mostly after Yeong-hye is institutionalized. Not really an engaging story, more morbidly fascinating. But any book that receives so many accolades deserves attention. It was written in Korean and translated. So, we must consider cultural differences. But I hope The Vegetarian is not representative of Korean culture. It does not claim to be. I think I’ll unearth another Korean novel to test the water.

Long Reach by Nancy Stevenson (The Wild Rose Press, 2023)

A good combination of natural history, history, and mystery, Long Reach reads quickly while informing us about environmental perils in British Columbia. I’ve spent a little time in BC and on the Olympic Peninsula and recall with horror my first sight of clear-cut logging. Stevenson takes us right into this and the sometimes pointless remediation attempted by the lumber companies.

The plot is tied to a couple drifting apart as they enter older age. They were work partners, running a media business. The protagonist is the wife. I would have liked a bit more development of the husband’s role in their drift. Like most mysteries, Stevenson ties the ending together into a neat bow.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What have you read this winter so far? Are you fan of creative historical non-fiction? Which non-fiction subject fascinates you the most?

Each year, Social Security benefits experience a number of changes that affect those receiving benefits now and those who will in the future.

Some of the factors affecting these changes to Social Security are consistent and relatively predictable, such as inflation and annual average growth of wages. Other factors are less consistent and predictable due to being subject to repeal and future change, such as legislative updates.

Whether you’ve already elected to receive your SS benefits – perhaps even many years ago – or are planning for retirement in the near future, it’s important to know where your benefits stand.

Not only might you learn some new acronyms in this article, but the information discussed empowers you to make more informed decisions as it relates to your overall retirement plan. This is especially important considering Social Security income makes up 50% or more of total income for about 40% of retirees.

Social Security Benefits Payment Increase – COLA

Every year, the Social Security Administration makes an adjustment to Social Security income benefits based off of the previous year’s inflation data. This adjustment is known as the Cost-of-Living Adjustment (COLA).

You can imagine without this adjustment how little purchasing power one’s Social Security income would have several years after electing their benefit! The value of their Social Security income would fall the same percentage as inflation rises each year. Thus, the primary purpose of this adjustment is to ensure that Social Security beneficiaries continue to receive benefits that carry relatively the same purchasing power year after year.

It’s no secret that for the last few years inflation has been well above average. I don’t need to remind you of this as no doubt you’re already reminded every time you arrive at your local grocery store’s checkout. For that reason, the Social Security Cost-of-Living Adjustment (COLA) has seen some major increases of late.

In fact, in 2021 and 2022, the respective increases of 5.9% and 8.7% were the highest since the early 1980s. Since 2022, however, the COLA has begun receding back to the norm, generally considered to be about 2%.

For 2025 Social Security benefits the Cost-of-Living Adjustment is 2.5%. This 2.5% increase in Social Security income is applicable to both those who’ve not yet received their SS income and those who’ve already elected.

A quick example: a retired couple who were already receiving their benefits and received a combined monthly payout of $3,500 in 2024, would be receiving a combined monthly payout of about $3,588 in 2025.

Relief for Some Pensioners – WEP

Beginning in 1983, a law was enacted that enabled the Social Security Administration (SSA) to reduce benefits for many people who were eligible for both SS income and a pension that came from what was considered a “non-covered’ occupation. This law was known as the Windfall Elimination Provision (WEP). Under this law, a “non-covered” job included ones where the individual wouldn’t experience FICA withholding from their paycheck and thus wouldn’t have been paying into Social Security.

Commonly, these jobs included public service government positions, such as teachers, law officers, firefighters, etc. Those who fell under this provision made up about 3.1% of Social Security benefit recipients.

As of January 6, 2025, the Social Security Fairness Act repealed the WEP, and the related Government Pension Offset (GPO). Thus, this repeal removes the reduction of benefits for those who previously fell under the WEP, and it will also retroactively pay any withheld benefits going back to January 2024.

When You’ll Receive “Full” SS Benefits – FRA

When it comes to what’s considered “retirement age,” there’s a good chance that you and the Social Security Administration will have a bit of a disagreement. For most individuals, age 62-65 feels to be the right age for them to plan on leaving the workforce and entering into their retirement years. Sure, the SSA allows you to begin receiving SS income benefits at age 62, but these are drastically reduced based on the age they consider to be right for retirement – known as Full Retirement Age (FRA).

The FRA hasn’t remained a fixed number over time but rather began seeing an increase beginning in 1983. And this number will again see an increase in the next couple of years. Therefore, it’s important for those who’ve not yet begun receiving Social Security benefits to know if they’ll be receiving their “full” benefit or a reduced amount. Which FRA applies to you depends on your year of birth and thus what year you will attain full retirement age. For those born in year 1959 and 1960, it’s as follows:

• 1959: FRA is 66 years & 10 months, which will be reached in 2025.
• 1960: FRA is 67 years, reached in 2026.

For a more in-depth discussion of how electing your Social Security benefits at different ages affects your SS income and important considerations to make before making that election, please read my previous article, Are You Leaving Money on the Table By Claiming Social Security Too Soon?.

Social Security – a Cog in a Larger Machine

As mentioned at the outset, Social Security benefits experience annual changes. Staying on top of the changes that remain fairly predictable is important so you know just how much income from this source you can rely on each year and how much you may need from other sources.

Staying on top of those that are less predictable, such as legislative updates, allows you to know of any changes which may affect your unique situation. A great example of this was the point above for the 3.1% of SS benefit recipients who previously fell under the Windfall Elimination Provision.

In any case, Social Security is a large part, if not the biggest part of retirement income for most retirees. That being so, it’s important to view Social Security income like an asset and, just like the other retirement savings you’ve been working hard to build up for years, make sure it’s going to work hard for you. This is called Social Security Optimization.

If you’d like to find out how to optimize your Social Security Benefits via a tailored retirement income plan, CLICK HERE to book a short conversation with a qualified retirement planning professional.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you keep track of Social Security changes each years? How has your payment changed since you first received it? Which change to date has affected you the most?