Month: January 2025

Giving roses doesn’t pay all the bills.

For generations, women have been told to fight for a seat at the table – whether it’s in boardrooms, politics, or community leadership. And while progress has been made, many tables are still governed by the unwritten rules of patriarchy, designed to exclude or minimize women’s voices.

Here’s a radical idea: What if you stopped waiting for a seat at their table and built your own instead? By creating your own opportunities and spaces, you can thrive on your own terms, unshackled by outdated systems.

Let’s explore how to navigate patriarchal structures, redefine success, and claim your power by building something better.

Why the Patriarchy’s Table Isn’t Always Worth It

1. The Rules Were Made Without You in Mind

Patriarchal systems often operate with biases and barriers that exclude women, especially those who don’t fit the mold of what a leader “should” look or act like. Fighting for inclusion at these tables can feel like trying to play a rigged game.

2. Tokenism Doesn’t Equal Power

Even when women do get a seat, they’re often treated as tokens rather than equals. This can lead to feelings of isolation or pressure to conform rather than bringing your authentic self to the table.

3. It’s Exhausting to Fit In

Constantly battling for recognition in a space that wasn’t built for you is draining. Instead of channeling your energy into conforming, imagine what you could achieve by creating your own space.

Building Your Own Table

1. Define Your Vision

Before building your own table, get clear on what it looks like. Ask yourself:

• What values do I want this space to reflect?
• Who do I want to include?
• What kind of impact do I want to make?

For example, maybe your table is a community group, a new business, or a creative project that uplifts others while staying true to your values.

2. Start Where You Are

You don’t need permission or perfect conditions to begin. Start small:

• Host a meeting or event focused on an issue you’re passionate about.
• Launch a blog, podcast, or social media platform to amplify your voice.
• Collaborate with like-minded individuals to create something new.

3. Invite the Right People

Your table doesn’t have to include everyone – focus on those who align with your vision and values. Diversity of thought, experience, and perspective will strengthen your table, so seek collaborators who bring unique skills and insights.

Navigating Existing Tables While Building Your Own

Sometimes, you still need to engage with patriarchal systems while creating your own path. Here’s how to balance both:

1. Choose Your Battles

Not every fight is worth your energy. Focus on challenges that align with your goals and let go of the rest. It’s okay to walk away from spaces that don’t value you.

2. Use Their Resources to Build Your Vision

If you’re part of an existing table, leverage the resources, connections, and skills you gain there to fuel your own projects. Think of it as collecting tools for your toolkit.

3. Advocate for Change When Possible

While you’re at their table, push for meaningful changes that benefit others. Your voice can pave the way for the next generation, even if you eventually step away.

Examples of Women Who Built Their Own Tables

1. Oprah Winfrey

When Oprah faced challenges in traditional media, she didn’t wait for validation. She created her own network, OWN, and became one of the most influential women in the world.

2. Sara Blakely

Founder of Spanx, Sara built a billion-dollar empire by challenging norms in the fashion industry and creating products women actually needed.

3. Your Local Heroes

Look around your community. Chances are, there are women who’ve started nonprofits, small businesses, or advocacy groups to address unmet needs. These women are proof that creating your own table is possible.

The Benefits of Building Your Own Table

1. Authenticity

When you build your own space, you can show up as your true self without worrying about fitting into someone else’s mold.

2. Freedom

You set the rules and define success on your terms. There’s no need to compromise your values to fit in.

3. Empowerment

Creating your own opportunities inspires others to do the same. Your courage to break away from the norm can have a ripple effect.

Conclusion: Take the Power Back

You don’t have to wait for permission to lead. By building your own table, you take control of your narrative and create a space where you and others can thrive. Whether you’re starting a business, organizing a community, or simply carving out a life that reflects your values, remember: The power is in your hands.

So, what kind of table will you build? The possibilities are endless, and the world is ready for what you have to offer.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What space have you built for yourself? How have you made it uniquely yours? What rules have you created?

Hyaluronic Acid, Glycolic Acid, Retinols, Biotin, Ceramides, CoQ10, Jojoba Oil, Resveratrol… How is an aging woman to choose the best and safest lotions and potions to apply for a youthful appearance? Here are some dos and don’ts when it comes to retaining glowing, smooth skin as you age.

The Most Effective Skin Care Product

Retinol is the Vitamin A derivative that is the most powerful anti-aging compound used today. Its ability to boost collagen production makes it an ingredient that should be part of your daily skin care regimen.

According to Dr. Robert Arolik, clinical assistant professor of dermatology at the NYU School of Medicine, “Retinoids win by a long shot over any other skin care products in terms of skin rejuvenation.”

Retinols are weaker over-the-counter versions of retinoids, and they are available in many skin care lines. They help maintain a look of youthfulness by plumping the skin through increased collagen production. This helps reduce the fine lines and wrinkles associated with aging.

When searching for a retinol product, look for one that extracts the compound from plants, such as rosehips, which are rich in Vitamin A. A good example is the Kate Blanc Cosmetics.

Plant Stem Cells

Don’t confuse plant stem cells with the injection that your son-in-law had to relieve his shoulder pain. Plant stem cells come from, as you surely would guess, plants, and the science behind the use of plants is promising.

Plants regenerate, that is, they grow more of the same. For instance, if you trim a hedge, the hedge grows back thicker and stronger. If you cut off a tree branch, new branches grow, often in the same place as the old branch. It is the plant’s ability to not just repair but to replace itself with new cells that is intriguing.

Plant stem cells have strong anti-inflammatory and antioxidant characteristics and are being studied for their ability to promote the production of collagen, so skin appears less wrinkled and more youthful. And isn’t that what we all are seeking in our skincare practice?

Lanolin

Lanolin is nothing new. It’s been used for hundreds of years as a moisturizing ingredient. Using a product that contains 100% pure pharmaceutical grade lanolin that is derived from sheep’s wool and is therefore cruelty-free will help you maintain hydration naturally.

For those of us suffering with chapped, dry complexions, especially during the winter months, a product containing lanolin is a sure bet to help retain moisture.

What to Avoid

Unfortunately, when it comes to skin care, you get what you pay for. If you are buying your skin care products at your local box store, they probably contain dangerous parabens to extend the shelf life.

Fragrance is a term under which cosmetic companies like to hide their toxic ingredients because there is no law prohibiting them from doing so, and no government agencies overseeing these formulations.

To be sure you are buying safe products, check EWG, Environmental Working Group, whose mission is to analyze and rate every product you come into contact with, including household cleaning products, hair and make-up products, baby products, and yes, skin care products.

There is also an EWG seal on many products which insures that you are getting something safe. Another good source is BlissfulMiss.com, which is primarily concerned with beauty products.

Before your next purchase, check one of these sites, or simply Google the product and research the ingredients and their effectiveness as well as their safety.

Need a New Hobby?

A friend of mine crafts her own beauty products, so she knows exactly what she is using. I looked into this myself, and I found a young woman, TaraLee, who posts YouTube videos with tutorials, recipes, and sources for pretty much every cosmetic you could imagine.

I never did make my own face cream, but it might be fun to try as well as a thrifty alternative.

Your skin is your largest organ, and what you slather on, be it insect repellent, sunscreen, or anti-aging serum, should be safe as well as effective.

Like organic food, it costs more to purchase products that are not toxic to your health, are not carcinogenic, and are ethically produced. However, face creams last a long time as you use such a small amount at each application, so the price can be spread over several months.

And, after all, aren’t you worth it?

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What kind of skin care products do you use? Do you have special preferences when you buy a face cream? Which ingredients do you look for in your cosmetics? Please share in the comments below.

I’m sure I’m not the only one to have started the year exploring new ways to improve my general wellbeing. As ever, a different exercise programme, tweaks to my diet and learning a new skill have all made it on to the list. But with each year that passes, I realise that nothing fuels my wellbeing as much as spending time outdoors, surrounded by nature and appreciating the simple things in life.

There are so many benefits to being out in the fresh air. On the physical side, spending time in nature has been proven to boost your immune system and can increase fitness. It can also improve sleep and lead to better breathing.

But it’s also in our general wellbeing that we see massive benefits: being exposed to sunlight can help low mood and help our bodies produce vitamin D but even something as basic as watching the changing foliage as we move through the season can be wonderfully restorative. In fact, there’s even some evidence to suggest that trees produce a calming effect on our brains.

Naturally, we all have varying amounts of free time available to spend outdoors and where we live will inevitably impact on what we can do. But if you can, try to incorporate a couple of these ideas over the coming year and set aside a little bit of ‘me’ time to spend outdoors.

Take a Hike

Whether it’s a gentle one hour stroll through the woods, a more challenging full day excursion or a week-long hiking holiday, a walk in nature is the ultimate escape from everyday stresses and niggles. Take note of the birds and the local flora and fauna, learn to identify wildflowers and don’t forget to look up to marvel at the changing cloud formations. Lastly, don’t be put off by bad weather – just make sure you’re dressed to cope with all eventualities.

Pack a Picnic

What is it about eating outdoors that makes food taste so delicious? On our hiking holidays, guests look forward to exploring the local gastronomy on our gourmet picnics, often enjoyed in spectacular locations. But whether it’s a gastronomic picnic in the Alps, a barbecue on the beach or a cheese sandwich in the woods, rarely does food taste as good as when you eat it outdoors!

So pack up a sandwich or a flask of coffee with a sweet treat and enjoy the indulgence of picnicking in the local park or even in your garden.

Take Your Grandchildren to the Park

Keep everyone happy by taking your grandchildren to the park. Their parents will be delighted to have an hour or two ‘off duty’, the kids will love it and you can enjoy the great outdoors with them without worrying about having to clear up post-visit!

Walk with a Friend

Do you regularly meet a special friend, or group of friends for a coffee or lunch? Why not swap that meet-up with a walk and time spent outdoors? Apart from enjoying the exercise and fresh air together, you’ll find that conversations reach deeper levels when you’re walking alongside someone than when you’re looking at them directly.

Swap the Treadmill or Gym for Outdoor Exercise

We all know that keeping fit and active as we age is vital and often the easiest way to do that is at the gym. But gym workouts aren’t for everyone and notching up the miles on a treadmill can be monotonous.

Think about swapping one gym visit a week for a session outdoors. Rope in a friend to join you on a gentle jog through local woods or to the park where you might even find an outdoor circuit track. If not, look for a fallen log – ideal for press ups, triceps dips and quad and glute-strengthening step ups.

Go for a Dip

Cold water or even ice swimming has its fans, and with good reason. All sorts of evidence suggest a whole range of benefits, from boosting our immune system and reducing inflammation to improving our mood. Others report an increased focus and reduction in stress and anxiety. Either way, if you think wild swimming in the local lake or river is for you, get acclimatised to cooler waters in the summer months and work up gradually to colder temperatures.

But outdoor swimming needn’t necessarily be all about hurling yourself in freezing water and there’s much to be said for heading for an outdoor pool, where the water temperature may be kept at a refreshing 20°-22°. At this temperature, you’ll want to swim faster than in an indoor pool but will be able to swim for longer than would be possible in really cold waters. But best of all, you’ll be swimming with nothing but the sky above you, surrounded by the great outdoors.

Try Foraging

Foraging is a wonderful way of increasing the amount of time you spend outdoors and will also help you connect with nature. In Italy, where I spend much of my time, autumn truffle hunting and foraging for fungi takes you deep into ancient woodland and yields some delicious culinary produce.

When I visit the UK, I forage for wild garlic, elderflower, nettles and, of course, blackberries for delicious pies. Needless to say, it’s important to forage responsibly, ensuring you can positively identify any plant before picking it, and only picking from areas with a plentiful supply. In some areas, it’s also important to seek permission before foraging.

Enjoy Gardening

Spending time in a garden can be the ultimate mood booster. If you’re lucky enough to have your own garden, then you’ll be familiar with the joy of pottering and doing the odd bit of weeding. Being active in the garden will definitely increase your physical good health but even simply being amongst nature can reduce anxiety and improve your wellbeing. Even if you just have access to a courtyard or balcony, growing your own vegetables or plants gets you outside and is a great mood booster.

Create an Outdoor Living Space

Not everyone who has a garden is a keen gardener; sometimes it’s good just to be outside and appreciate nature. You can also increase the amount of time you spend in your garden or even on a balcony by creating an outdoor living space. If where you live is prone to erratic weather, an awning, outdoor canopy or even fixed roof will increase the amount of time you spend outside. Fill the space with comfy furniture, large pots, plants and even rugs and you’ll find yourself reluctant to be indoors.

Ride a Bike

Did you think your bike riding days were behind you? Cycling is a great form of exercise for older people, a way to maintain or improve your cardiovascular fitness, and excellent for motor coordination. As it’s a low-impact activity, it’s less hard on muscles and joints than, for example, running.

And if you’re concerned about cycling on road, the good news is that cycle paths and designated routes away from the road are popping up all over the place, making cycling a brilliant way to enjoy the great outdoors.

Editor’s Note: Images courtesy of Hedonistic Hiking.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How much time do you spend outdoors each day? What’s your favourite way of spending time outdoors? Have you increased the amount of time you spend outdoors in recent years?

Do you know about The Great Wealth Transfer?

If not, you will. In fact, it is already under way. The Great Wealth Transfer involves $68 trillion dollars and is the largest, global intergenerational wealth transfer ever.

In this article and accompanying video, we will look at what The Great Wealth Transfer is, who is affected by this and explore specific ways you can prepare yourself for it emotionally and mentally.

This is part nine of our current 10-part series, The Invisible Customer with All the Money®, where we will focus on how women over 60 can begin telling a new and better story about what we can be, do, and experience through self-love.

#1: 7 Steps to Reclaim Your Power from the Media

#2: Aging Stereotypes: Can You Be More Feeble?

#3: 10 Steps to Influence Yourself from Within

#4: What Makes Your World Go Round After 60?

#5: 10 Steps to Unleash Your Inspired Voice After 60

#6: 5 Steps for Taking Back Control of Our Choices from the Media

#7: 10 Steps to Re-Engage with Life After 60

#8: 10 Steps to Bridging the Generational Divide

What Is the Great Wealth Transfer?

Between 2020 and 2061 an estimated $68 trillion will be passed down from two generations to their immediate heirs.

1. Baby Boomers will account for $53 trillion.
2. Silent Generation (who came before the boomers) will account for $15.8 trillion.

Together, these two generations will bequest over $84 trillion in total assets.

Not surprisingly, the top 1.5% of the world’s high-net-worth households will be transferring $35.8 trillion, accounting for 42% of The Great Wealth Transfer.

You might be wondering where all this money is coming from. You also may be asking with that much money being given out, how do you make the most of this?

A Whole New World

As the 1980s gave way to the 1990s, our generation entered our peak earning years. Faced with new financial opportunities, along with an increasing awareness we were aging, a whole new world was emerging.

Rapid expansion of technology, coupled with unprecedented investment opportunities, placed wealth building in the hands of more people than ever before.

Tens of millions of boomers took their newfound affluence and re-invested it into real-estate, stocks, bonds, and other financial markets. Tens of millions more spent their money as fast as they could, without much thought for their future lifestyle or their heirs.

There were several massive shakeups in the financial markets as well. Many people lost everything. While the financial markets recovered, not everyone else did.

Accepting and Embracing Change

In the aftermath of the financial shakeups in the 80s, 90s, and 2000s, some boomers managed to regain their financial footing. This occurred by extending their careers, starting new businesses, or being patient as the financial markets recovered.

Many of our generation, however, are still struggling. The reasons are not all the same.

Contrary to what you may have heard in the media, the biggest struggles most of our generation face today, including how to make the most of The Great Wealth Transfer, are not health related or even financially based.

The greatest challenge any of us face is resistance to change. Change is an immutable law of life and yet, most people suffer because of their reluctance to accept and embrace change.

More specifically, we must be willing to let go of outdated, limiting beliefs about money, love, and aging. For it is these limiting beliefs, all of which are based on the past, that keep us from embracing change and welcoming in new opportunities, such as those offered by The Great Wealth Transfer.

Rewriting These 3 Myths

To make the most of anything in our life after 60, including The Great Wealth Transfer, it’s essential that we take an inventory of the stories and beliefs that are keeping us stuck in the past.

Once we identify and release these outdated stories and beliefs, we can begin to replace them with new, more empowering ones.

To do this requires a deeper understanding of myths and beliefs we were raised and educated on. I’ve written extensively about these myths, which I call The Seven Myths of Love & Happiness.

Of these seven, there are three big myths that play a significant role in how our generation not only perceives itself but will also determine how we navigate The Great Wealth Transfer.

The Myth of Scarcity

With $68 trillion being transferred to younger generations, you can’t tell me money is scarce. Undoing the fearful influence of this myth is essential. No matter how many financial assets you have, refocusing and renewing your outlook on money will be a huge benefit to you and your heirs.

The Myth of Aging

The basis of this myth is that aging is a disease and the older you get the more you should disengage from society. By reframing your belief about aging you become more engaged with living a long, healthy life, something your heirs will benefit from. Couple this with a financial inheritance and your heirs will be in an ideal position to completely rewrite the rules of aging.

The Myth of Shame and Blame

This myth established an emotionally crippling belief we are either not good enough to have what we desire and/or an equally destructive belief others do not deserve to have what they desire. When you shift yourself out of any lingering emotional trauma stemming from shame and blame, the quality of your life is instantly transformed for the better.

I invite you to join me in the video where I will share additional insights along with 30 powerful affirmations to overwrite the influence of these three myths.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How are you preparing yourself and your heirs for The Great Wealth Transfer? Have you thought what wealth you will be leaving behind and how you will like it dispersed?