Month: February 2025

We all know that moderation is important, but sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between a real reason for changing your plan and an excuse that keeps you stuck. That’s where things get tricky.

Here’s an example: You skip your morning workout to get some extra sleep. Or you decide to go out for lunch instead of eating the meal you packed. On the surface, both of these decisions might feel like you’re letting yourself down – but are you? When we look deeper at *why* you made that choice, things start to shift.

If you skipped your workout because your partner was up sick all night and you truly needed rest to function, that’s a thoughtful decision, not an excuse. If you went out for lunch because a good friend – one you rarely see – had a last-minute opening in her schedule, that’s not just blowing off your plan.

This is the gray area where many women get stuck. You want to be flexible, but you also don’t want to let yourself off the hook too often. So how do you know when you’re making a smart, intentional choice versus slipping into patterns that keep you from reaching your goals?

That’s exactly what we’re going to unpack today. By the end of this post, you’ll have the tools to navigate these tricky decisions with confidence.

The 3 Mistakes That Keep You Stuck

Mistake #1: The All-or-Nothing Trap

Perfectionist thinking is one of the biggest roadblocks to long-term success. It’s that little voice in your head that says, If I can’t do it perfectly, why bother at all? This kind of thinking sets you up for failure because it doesn’t leave room for real life – where things don’t always go as planned.

For example, you plan to work out four times this week, but by Wednesday, life gets in the way and you miss two sessions. Instead of picking back up where you left off, you tell yourself the week is already ruined, so you’ll “start fresh” on Monday. Or you eat something off-plan at lunch and decide you might as well indulge for the rest of the day.

Mistake #2: Using “Self-Care” as a Justification

Self-care is important – but not when it becomes a cover for avoiding the things that actually help you feel better in the long run. True self-care means listening to your body, but it also means being honest with yourself about whether your choices are helping or hurting you.

For example, skipping a workout to rest after a sleepless night is a smart, intentional choice. But skipping workouts for a week straight, telling yourself you need the break, might be avoidance disguised as self-care. Similarly, enjoying a bowl of ice cream after a stressful day can be part of a balanced life – but if you’re regularly using food to numb emotions, it’s no longer about self-care.

Mistake #3: Saying “It Doesn’t Matter”

We’ve all said it before – It doesn’t matter. A handful of chocolate-covered almonds here, skipping a workout there, or grabbing takeout instead of cooking just this once. In isolation, these small choices seem harmless. But when repeated regularly, they shape habits that impact your long-term health.

For example, one square of chocolate absolutely won’t derail your progress. But if you mindlessly eat them every night while watching TV, that habit adds up. The same goes for skipping a workout – one rest day isn’t a problem, but if “I’ll do it tomorrow” becomes a pattern, your consistency suffers.

Progress isn’t built on any one decision – it’s built on patterns. Instead of thinking, Does this one choice matter? ask yourself, If I keep making this choice over and over, where will it lead me? The small things you do daily are what truly shape your results.

3 Ways to Tell If You’re Making a Smart Choice or an Excuse

1. Two Questions to Ask Yourself

When you’re faced with a decision – whether to skip a workout, grab an extra snack, or say yes to another glass of wine – pause and ask yourself:

What Would I Do If I Loved Myself?
This question shifts your focus from guilt and self-judgment to self-compassion. Loving yourself doesn’t mean letting yourself off the hook every time something feels hard. It means making choices that truly support your well-being. If you’re exhausted, self-love might mean resting. If you’re just unmotivated, self-love might mean pushing through and moving your body anyway.

How Do I Want to Show Up in This Relationship?
Whether it’s your relationship with yourself, your future self, or as an example for your family, this question helps you align with your values. If you want to model a healthy lifestyle for your kids or grandkids, your choices should reflect that.

These two questions help override knee-jerk justifications and guide you toward choices rooted in self-respect.

2. Consider the Long-Term Impact of Your Choice

When making a decision, ask yourself: Am I choosing based on how I feel right now, or how I want to feel tomorrow?

It’s easy to prioritize short-term comfort – skipping a workout because you’re tired, grabbing takeout instead of cooking, or scrolling on your phone instead of getting to bed on time. But these choices don’t just affect today; they create patterns that shape your future.

For example, skipping meal prep might not seem like a big deal in the moment, but when the week gets busy, you’ll likely end up making poor food choices because you don’t have anything healthy ready. One missed prep session turns into a week of frustration.

By pausing to consider how today’s choices impact your future self, you shift from reacting to your emotions to making intentional, mindful decisions that support your long-term success. Small choices, repeated consistently, create real results.

3. Notice How You Feel After the Decision

One of the best ways to tell if you’ve made a valid choice or just given yourself an excuse is to check in with how you feel afterward.

If you feel guilt, regret, or frustration, you may have made an excuse – something that felt good in the moment but doesn’t align with your goals. For example, skipping a workout just because you didn’t feel like it might bring short-term relief but leave you disappointed later.

On the other hand, if you feel peace and confidence, it’s likely a well-thought-out decision. Skipping a workout because your body truly needed rest or saying no to dessert because you didn’t really want it? Those are choices made from self-respect, not restriction.

Building self-trust comes from making decisions you can stand behind. Pay attention to your emotions after each choice – they’re the best indicator of whether you’re honoring your goals or holding yourself back.

Reasons vs. Excuses

The difference between making a thoughtful decision and falling for an excuse isn’t always obvious in the moment. But when you take a step back, the patterns become clear. Small, intentional choices – made consistently – are what lead to lasting progress.

If you want to break free from the all-or-nothing mindset, stop using self-care as a way to avoid effort, and stop telling yourself “It doesn’t matter,” start by asking better questions. What would I do if I loved myself? How do I want to show up in my life and for my loved ones? Consider how today’s choices impact your future self and pay attention to how you feel afterward.

If you’re ready to create real, lasting change, download my free guide: 8 Basic Habits That Healthy People Do. It’s your first step toward building consistency, self-trust, and a healthier, more empowered life.

What’s one area where you’ve been making excuses instead of decisions that support your goals? What steps have you taken toward making healthy decisions?

She’s having fun on the stage with her heels!

After 60 many of us live alone, and not always by choice. In my work as a health coach many women share that the hardest time of day is the dinner hour, because it just doesn’t feel so good to sit alone at the table.

Because I value the power of nutrition to energize us, especially in our later years, I work hard at convincing these women that a cheap frozen dinner, a box of take-out or a bag of popcorn will not support their goal of living a long and healthy life. And besides, we all deserve better than that.

We would never serve a paltry meal to a guest so why should we serve it to ourselves? Alternatively, eating out is expensive, can feel lonely, and doesn’t tell you much about the quality of the food you’re eating.

One Bunch of Smart Women

This past weekend I was invited to meet with a group of women who look for many ways to make food and the environment cleaner. These women are smart and expressive in stating their goals for health and wellness.

However, some of them also believed that cooking a highly nutritious meal took a lot of time and was expensive.

At the start of our gathering the host updated the guests on the latest findings on cookware and the dangerous compounds in Teflon coatings. Consensus was stainless steel, cast iron, and tempered glass are the best for cooking.

I was asked to share some of the key topics in my book, Food Becomes You – Simple Steps for Lifelong Wellness.

In the book, I provide shopping lists, stories of people who improved their health when they changed their food (including me), along with menu plans and many recipes. The book is conversational in tone and easy to follow.

From there, this group of 10 headed for the kitchen. I had planned a meal in advance for them, but wanted the prep to be a shared experience so everyone could see how simple it really is to prepare a nutritious meal.

Two women chopped up parsnips while another put them in a pot to boil; another took the 10 pieces of salmon out of its 30-minute soak in a marinade of liquid aminos, ginger, garlic, and honey and placed them on a baking sheet.

One rinsed baby spinach as another heated up a steaming pot. Yet another cut up apples that were to be baked for dessert.

There was chatter, story-telling about meal planning, and a great sense of camaraderie in the kitchen as the food was cooking. In the end, we drained the vegetables and whipped up the parsnips with some nutmeg, garlic, and butter. Then it was time to eat.

This delicious, nutritious meal contained a bitter green and a sweet vegetable along with omega-3 rich seafood and organic wine. What it also contained was a sense of communion with women who know the value of quality food and the shared experience of preparing it.

The cost for everything was $15 per person. I mention the cost only to show you it is easy to eat healthy on a budget and far less than a restaurant meal.

What Do You Do to Make Mealtime Pleasant?

Back to being alone after 60. If this is hard for you and keeps you from preparing a good meal for yourself, reach out to neighbors, friends, or family if they are nearby and plan some meals together.

Taking turns hosting gives us all a reason to tidy up and bring life and energy into our kitchens. You can prepare everything yourself or make it a shared experience like we did.

The physical act of eating is only one part of the experience of nourishing yourself; sharing this sacred experience with others gives you time to savor the tastes and aromas circling around your table. If you need some new recipes, check out a few of my favorite gems here.

Let’s Talk About It:

What would it take for you to cook more and eat out less? Have you tried shared meals with friends? Please join the conversation!

It girls don’t get cold.

Football’s finest are putting themselves to the test.