Month: March 2025

Love isn’t a one-size-fits-all deal – if it were, every couple would be blissfully in sync, and therapists would be out of business. Enter the theory of Love Languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, and Receiving Gifts.

Supposedly, cracking this code will lead to eternal relationship harmony. Sounds legit… or is it just astrology for couples?

Let’s be real – what makes our hearts race at 50+ isn’t the same as the rollercoaster crushes of our 20s. But one thing remains true: knowing and speaking your partner’s love language is a game-changer.

Why Do Love Languages Matter?

Here is a list of love languages you will encounter online:

• Better Communication: When you speak their love language, they actually feel the love.
• More Intimacy: Deeper emotional bonds? Yes, please!
• Less Conflict: Understanding love languages = fewer “you don’t appreciate me” arguments.
• Personal Growth: Learning to love the way your partner needs fosters empathy and attentiveness.

Now, let’s dive into some real-life love language wins! (Yes, these are real, and I have gathered them in my long years as a dating coach.)

#1. Acts of Service: The MVP of Thoughtful Gestures

Paul, 60, is raising the bar high. Every morning, he brings his partner coffee in bed (she’s NOT a morning person). He also gases up her car, takes it to the car wash, and asks, “How can I make your day easier?” (OMG, can we clone him?) Meanwhile, Mellie picks up his 14-year-old twins three times a week while he’s out playing tennis. Now that’s teamwork!

#2. Receiving Gifts: It’s the Thought That Counts

Anna, 66, adores gifts, but it’s not about diamonds and designer bags. Her partner, Mike, gives her gorgeous Papyrus cards with heartfelt messages, and she proudly pins them up in her office. He also has a Trader Joe’s ritual: groceries + a plant or flowers = instant joy.

#3. Words of Affirmation: Flattery Gets You Everywhere

Jeff, 51, hits the gym four days a week, and when he gets home, Audrey greets him with, “Wow, I love feeling your arms – you have the best biceps and triceps!” Instant smile. And when he returns from visiting his kids in NYC, she welcomes him with, “It’s just not home without you – I missed you so much.” Heart. Melted.

#4. Quality Time: Uninterrupted Connection

Susan, 61, and Tim, 64, have a Friday tradition: nine holes of golf, no cell phones, just fun. Sunday mornings? Bike rides. Twice a week, they cook together – Susan picks the recipes, and Tim, the world’s best sous chef, handles the chopping, grating, and cleanup. (Let’s hear it for the real MVP!)

#5. Words of Affirmation (Again, Because It’s That Important!)

Christopher, 69, makes sure Marta knows she’s appreciated: “Wow, you are the best cook!” and “I love your design ideas – our home has never looked so bright and modern.” Affirmation = love fuel.

Bottom Line:

It’s not about grand gestures – it’s the little daily acts of love that make relationships thrive. So, are love languages legit?

You tell me.

(Spoiler: The answer is YES!)

For more tips… and 166 strategies for dating that actually work based on my 30+ years of being a dating coach, please pick up a copy of my book at Amazon! Click here!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you taken the love language test? What did you learn? Which love language do you think would be your favorite to date?

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Community is the heart of everything as we age, and it’s important to become engrained in one before loneliness and isolation lead us down the wrong path.

In her July 2023 Psychology Today article, Samantha Stein PsyD described the myriad ways community is important for human beings. In addition to providing belonging, support and identity, she wrote, community also reduces stress and isolation.

Without it, we are putting our lives at risk, plain and simple.

What the Studies Say

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, social isolation and loneliness put people – especially older adults – at risk for heart disease and stroke, Type 2 diabetes, depression and anxiety, addiction, suicidality and self-harm, dementia and earlier death. The CDC estimates loneliness costs the US economy around $406 billion a year, in addition to the estimated $6.7 billion a year in Medicare costs for socially isolated older adults. It’s an expense that affects all of us!

Not only does establishing community extend and enhance our lives, but it also makes us happier and more content as we age. The 80-year Harvard Study of Adult Development indicates that community and the relationships that define it are the top inputs in predicting a happy, healthy life. This factor is more important than what we eat, what we do for a living, and what we own.

“Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives, the study revealed. Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes,” a 2017 Harvard Gazette piece explained.

This is an important finding that should influence the way we think about and plan for our second half.

So how do we get connected to our people and the tribe that will sustain us in our Golden Years? The good news is we don’t have to look far and wide. Community is practically at our front door; we just have to look for it, step into it, and dedicate ourselves to the process. Here are a few suggestions for building community that lasts.

Reconnect with Family and Longtime Friends

In many, if not most, cases, family is the foundation of our community. So look for ways to get a little closer to your relatives or friends that have been like family (framily). That may mean moving to a home that is nearer to these special folks, or dedicating yourself to more frequent trips and visits.

It’s easier to connect with and provide assistance to people in your community when you’re living close by, so consider proximity when you’re thinking about where you will live as you age. Also, decide to build tighter relationships with family and friends who already live nearby. It’s never too late to bring people back into your fold and make your family circles tighter, stronger and more mutually beneficial.

Commit to Attend Spiritual Events

Make a commitment to attend worship services, activities and small group opportunities at a nearby church or faith organization. These communities are by nature loving and supportive of their members. By mission, they are dedicated to community service and filling needs and most importantly, providing folks with a sense of purpose, selflessness and gratitude. Places of worship check so many boxes in the realms of community. Plus, people will notice when you’re missing and keep tabs on your well-being!

Decide to Live in a Multifamily, Walkable or Connected-by-Design Community

As you age, you will encounter unexpected challenges such as immobility, driving restrictions and physical impairment and these may limit your ability to have relationships with other people. Deciding ahead of time that you will live in a home that is within walking distance of the services and vendors you utilize on a daily basis will help mitigate these challenges.

These residences may be manageable single-family homes in close proximity to retail centers or multifamily condominiums, townhomes or apartments that afford residents access to shared resources, amenities and social gatherings. They may or may not be assisted or independent living arrangements, but make sure to investigate those types of residences.

The number one reason older adults move to retirement communities, continued care communities, active senior adult neighborhoods and the like is to be part of, you guessed it, community.

Dedicate Yourself to a Volunteer Effort, Hobby or Activity That Fuels Your Passion

Whether you like to mountain bike, run, knit, cook or support causes close to your heart, community is in the very fabric of these pursuits.

Perhaps there’s a running group that you can meet up with several times a week for a light jog? Maybe there are sewing circles that make blankets for children in the nearby hospital? Is there an organization in which you can take a board, volunteer or leadership role? Any interest will lead you to a core group that can provide sustaining relationships that can bring new color into your life.

Explore more ideas in our Hobbies section.

Join a Social, Fitness, or Special Interest Club

This option may involve fees and annual dues, but it will be money well spent. Clubs of any kind focus on fraternity and relationship building, so they are a perfect place to develop new friendships. Many revolve around fitness and outdoor activities like golf, tennis, pickleball, sailing, and exercise, so clubs provide endless opportunities to enhance your health and wellness!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How are you building community in your life today? Do you think it’s important to have friends and family in close proximity? What resources have you discovered on your journey?

The set lights up so you can make the whole place shimmer.

The set lights up so you can make the whole place shimmer.