Month: April 2025

“Now I want 10 more pairs,” wrote one reviewer.

Owning a home is a significant milestone on the path to achieving the American Dream. Yet many in the post-Baby Boom generations despair that it’s beyond their grasp. A CNN poll reported that 90% of renters under 45 say they’d like to be homeowners but can’t afford it.

It’s no wonder, then, that many Baby Boomer parents want to support their adult children in attaining home ownership. There are many ways to help, but each family needs to research the alternatives to choose the best method that suits their unique financial and philosophical perspective. Here are some ideas for helping.

Return to the Nest

Coming up with a down payment often poses the most significant barrier for young adults in buying a home. While some parents can afford to help directly with down payment funds (see the next section), other parents opt for offering low-cost or rent-free living at the old homestead.

While such an arrangement can help young adults build up down payment funds, it makes sense to consider all the practical angles of the living situation. For example, adult children who have already tasted independence may perceive a loss of autonomy. Parents, for their part, may feel resentful about the loss of their freedom in the previously empty nest. As a result, both parties must discuss in advance how the co-living arrangement will proceed and its duration.

Here are some questions to discuss:

• What spaces in the house will the new “roommates” occupy?
• Where will cars be parked?
• How will food, utilities, and other household costs be shared?
• What are the “quiet hours” in the house?

These and other questions must be addressed from the beginning to set realistic expectations.

Down Payment Help

Some parents have the resources to provide funds, either fully or partially, for a down payment. Bankrate reports that 14% of down payments are gifts from family or friends.

However, this can be a significant amount, depending on the house price and the required down payment percentage, which can vary from zero to 20% or more, with a median of 18%.

Using the median U.S. home price of $419,200 (as of Q4 2024), an 18% down payment is a staggering $75,456.

If the down payment money is a gift, a mortgage lender typically requires a gift letter. This document provides information about the source of the funds and states that it is not a loan that requires repayment. Loaned money would mean the borrower has additional financial obligations that could hinder their ability to make mortgage payments.

Cosigning a Mortgage

Qualifying for a mortgage depends in part on the prospective borrower’s credit rating, which many young adults have not had enough time to build up. Parents with a better credit history can help by cosigning on the loan, which may enable the home buyer to qualify for a larger loan and a more favorable rate.

The downside of cosigning is that if the primary borrower (the adult child) fails to make payments, the cosigner (the parent) is liable. Due to this responsibility, parents must carefully consider the potential financial risks. This may require the primary borrower to share detailed financial information with the cosigner, such as granting access to online mortgage statements and being notified by the lender of any late payments.

Parents as Buyers

Sometimes, affluent parents can purchase property to establish a pathway for their adult child to acquire the home.

This can take a few different forms. One option is for parents to purchase a home as their adult child’s living quarters, with the young adult making payments over time to acquire the property. A downside is that if the parent needs to borrow money for this, a second home mortgage often comes with higher rates and larger down payments.

Another option is co-ownership, where both the parent’s and child’s names are on the title. The parent pays all or part of the down payment, and the adult child pays all or part of the mortgage. When the house is eventually sold, both parties split the proceeds. These arrangements can be complex, so it is best to consult a real estate attorney to draft the necessary paperwork.

Private Mortgage

When an adult child doesn’t qualify for a traditional mortgage, a prosperous parent could act as the lender. While the IRS stipulates a minimum interest rate to avoid a gift tax reporting requirement, these rates currently are less than the prevailing 6-7% 30-year mortgage interest rates.

Other benefits of private loans include the parent lender’s ability to offer more generous grace periods and easier payment schedules. Also, if the deed is correctly recorded with the county, the borrower can deduct the mortgage interest. Parents need to remember, however, that the interest paid is taxable income, and to avoid tax or legal problems, they should enlist the help of a real estate lawyer to prepare the contract.

Selling the Homestead

Empty-nest parents who intend to downsize to a smaller place might consider selling their family home to their adult child. To keep things simple, the best policy is to treat the sale like any other between two parties. This includes fixing the sale price, obtaining a mortgage, and scheduling an inspection.

Many parents may be motivated to set a low price for their child. However, if the home still has a mortgage and sells for less than the outstanding balance, it would be a “short sale” and require additional documentation.

It’s also a good idea to retain the services of a real estate lawyer to handle the paperwork as well as a title company. This will help avoid costly mistakes and protect the interests of both parties.

Parents as Renters

Parents may be able to help adult children with housing costs by becoming their renters. Multigenerational living is on the rise, with nearly 60 million Americans living in households of two or more generations of adults. This trend undoubtedly contributes to the growing popularity of accessory dwelling units (ADUs), also known as “Granny flats.”

Whether an ADU or everyone living together in the same structure, parents paying rent for their living space can help the adult child afford mortgage payments. Additionally, many adult children appreciate being able to keep closer tabs on their aging parents.

Helping with Mortgage Payments

If none of the above ideas make sense, parents could consider contributing toward the monthly mortgage payments. This option is a straightforward way to help adult children afford the costs of home ownership. Explicit agreement at the outset on the amount and duration of the assistance will reduce the risk of hard feelings in the future.

Avoiding Sibling Envy

As with any other type of financial assistance, it’s prudent to consider the equity between siblings. If one child gets help with housing costs, will others expect an equal amount and resent it if they don’t? Perhaps it’s well accepted within the family that one child requires additional support, such as due to a disability. In any case, it’s prudent to have a good understanding of family dynamics when making decisions about helping adult children financially.

Read the previous articles in this series here.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you wondered if you should help your adult children financially? What help would you consider? Are your children able to afford a home? Is this something you might be willing to help?

It was at a yard sale somewhere. That’s where I bought it. Or maybe it was an antique shop someplace. I don’t remember. The portable Royal manual came in its own leather carrying case, the outside stained from someone’s black coffee or spilled wine. When I opened it, the machine’s slim style tricked me into believing it was rather lightweight. It wasn’t — all gray, brownish steel, and the heft of a big stack of hardback books. And it worked like new. The keys tapped with precision and sprung back like magic. The ribbon was worn but there was enough ink to allow me to type out a few words as a test of its abilities.

I bought it for $5.

The typewriter has been with me for more than 20 years, and I can’t imagine it not being near, although its keys have produced no more than a few hundred of my own words. I’ve written eight books and countless essays and stories. Not one on the Royal, only two short poems that I’ve taped to the wall of my writing shed.

The typewriter was once one of Royal’s most popular. The Quiet Deluxe. One of Hemingway’s favorites. The first rendition was manufactured in 1938 and was produced most every year until 1959, with only a short gap during WWII. From what I can gather, my Royal is circa 1940.

I had a couple of other manual typewriters years ago, also Royals. They were from the 1920s, but they required expensive repairs. I sold or gave those away, I can’t recall. But the Quiet Deluxe remains.

What Goes and What Stays

The other day, my wife emailed the link of a year-old Ann Patchett essay from The New Yorker entitled “How to Practice.” We had been considering a road trip from Chicago to Denver where my wife’s daughter lives to drop off a family treasure, an extensive collection of Wedgwood china purchased by my wife’s father while stationed in England in 1954 during his military years.

The plates and saucers became the family’s “good dishes” for decades. Eventually gifted to my wife, she too had had them for many years. Occasionally during the holidays, she’d set a formal table, but it was rare. Mostly, they remained neatly and securely tucked away in the dark of the basement. Now living in a smaller home, an extensive collection of stuff collected over the years, and a current urge to minimize and simplify, it seemed the time to pass along the china. But shipping would be problematic, expensive, and worrisome. So, the road trip was planned, a drive of nearly 1000 miles.

The Talismans of Our Lives

When I consider these kinds of generational gifts, I wonder, as Patchett did in her essay, if we hang onto such things simply to keep our distance from death. My wife says she felt some of this as she packed up the china. But knowing her, she’s likely thinking more about what else she can remove from our shelves, under the bed, and in our closets, and less about what will happen to those things when she’s no longer here.

Still, it’s certain that when we are officially gone, if we haven’t already passed our possessions along to those we love, what remains will likely be offered to the Salvation Army, Goodwill, or sold at a garage sale. The dead need nothing.

But if we give away any of it now, it moves us closer to the end. Can we handle that thought as we continue to live?

When I’m dead, I won’t need my father’s onyx ring that circles the third finger on my right hand. My son Casey will get that. I won’t be able to strum my old six-string Yamaha acoustic guitar, circa 1972, when my ashes are scattered on a hillside somewhere. My son Graham will get that. Gifting these now would only remind me that I’m closing in on the finish line.

Our “Things” Are Pieces of Our Heart

So, what about the typewriter? It is silent. Unused. What happens to it? Who would care to have the old clunky Royal?

I remember again Patchett’s essay. She, too, had owned typewriters. Ones, she too, had never truly used in her professional, best-selling writing life. Still, letting them go signaled how time was running out. Like me, she couldn’t part with them easily, only to finally give away her favorite, an Olivetti, to a young woman who was infatuated with the old machines and had always imagined herself, the way Patchett had once imagined herself, as “a girl with a typewriter.” It was the symbol of a particular kind of existence, lifestyle, and carried a certain kind of dream.

And that was it.

I had always imagined myself as the “boy with a typewriter.” That 80-year-old Royal represents more than a possession to pass on or give away; it has become something far beyond the crafty old machine. Instead, it represents who I was, who I remain, who I want to be – the writer producing the tap-tappity-tap in the early morning hours at my desk, the window cracked open, hot coffee in a mug, the sun’s early light glinting off the fence post just beyond my view. That typewriter is how I see me, and what I have dreamed myself to be.

I will continue to work on my laptop, as there are no plans to place the Royal on my desk and write. But there will always be a place for it on the shelf where it sits, and when I’m dead, someone else can decide who keeps it or gives it away.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What items have you kept for years? Do you remember where, how and why you got them? What do they represent to you?

The truth has been revealed.

If you grew up watching Little House on the Prairie or reading the beloved books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, you know that the pioneer spirit wasn’t just about surviving – it was about thriving. The Ingalls family faced blizzards, failed crops, and financial hardships, yet they always found a way to keep moving forward with grit, resourcefulness, and love.

As we navigate our modern world, where uncertainty and change seem to be the only constants, the lessons from Little House on the Prairie remain as relevant as ever. Let’s take a nostalgic stroll down that dusty frontier road and see how these timeless truths can still inspire us today.

1. Starting Over Is a Part of Life

If there was one thing Charles and Caroline Ingalls knew how to do, it was start over. Every time circumstances forced them to move – whether it was crop failure, economic downturns, or new opportunities – they packed up their covered wagon and set off for a fresh beginning.

Many of us face moments in life when we have to start over – a career change, retirement, or even moving to a new location. The Ingalls family teaches us that while starting over is daunting, it’s also a chance to reinvent ourselves and embrace new adventures. With courage and faith, we can create a life that’s even better than the one we left behind.

2. Multiple Streams of Income Are Essential

Even in the 1800s, the Ingalls family understood the importance of diversifying their income. Charles wasn’t just a farmer – he took on carpentry gigs, did odd jobs for neighbors, and even helped build the railroad when times were tough. Caroline sold eggs and baked and sold goods when needed while Mary found work as a teacher when she could.

Fast forward to today, and this lesson still holds true. Whether it’s through freelance work, side businesses, or passive income streams, having multiple sources of income provides security and flexibility. If the unpredictable prairie taught us anything, it’s that relying on just one source of income can leave us vulnerable. The Ingalls family didn’t put all their eggs in one basket, and neither should we!

3. Helping Each Other Is the Key to Survival

Remember when Pa’s barn burned down, and the whole town came together to rebuild it? That sense of community and willingness to help one another was a lifeline for pioneer families.

In today’s world, we may not need our neighbors to help us raise a barn, but we do need support in other ways. Whether it’s lending a hand to a friend, mentoring someone who’s struggling, or simply checking in on loved ones, community is what keeps us strong. The more we give, the more we receive in return. The Ingalls family reminds us that none of us are meant to go through life alone.

4. Simple Joys Are the Best Joys

Life on the prairie wasn’t always easy, but the Ingalls family knew how to find joy in the simplest things. Whether it was a fiddle tune by the fire, Christmas oranges in their stockings, or a family picnic by Plum Creek, they savored life’s small but precious moments.

In our fast-paced digital world, we often forget the power of simplicity. The joy of a handwritten letter, the warmth of a home-cooked meal, or the beauty of a sunset can be just as fulfilling as the latest gadget or social media trend. Sometimes, the best way to find happiness is to slow down and appreciate what we already have.

5. Community Engagement Creates a Better World

Walnut Grove wasn’t just a town – it was a family. Whether it was raising money for the school, standing up against injustice, or organizing events for the town’s well-being, the residents understood that being involved made their community stronger.

Today, community engagement remains just as important. Volunteering, supporting local businesses, or simply being active in causes that matter can make a real difference. The world feels a lot less overwhelming when we focus on making a positive impact in our own little corner of it.

6. Hard Times Don’t Last, But Resilience Does

The Ingalls family went through their fair share of hardships – losing crops, battling illness, even dealing with personal losses. But no matter how tough things got, they kept pushing forward, leaning on each other and believing in brighter days ahead.

Life has its seasons, and sometimes we go through winters that feel endless. But just like the Ingalls, we can endure, adapt, and come out stronger on the other side. Resilience is a muscle we build over time, and the more we exercise it, the better equipped we are to handle life’s challenges.

Wrapping Up: The Pioneer Spirit Lives On

While we may not be navigating the challenges of the 19th-century frontier, the lessons from Little House on the Prairie are timeless. They remind us to embrace change, diversify our income, lean on our communities, cherish the simple joys, stay engaged in the world around us, and cultivate resilience in tough times.

So, the next time you find yourself facing an unexpected challenge, just ask yourself: What would the Ingalls family do? Chances are, they’d roll up their sleeves, keep a hopeful heart, and face the future with courage. And that’s a lesson worth remembering.

Now, where’s that fiddle? Let’s celebrate the pioneer spirit in all of us!

Personal Reflection:

What are your personal takeaways from Little House on the Prairie? In what ways can you incorporate these six principles into your life?