Month: May 2025

Charles opened up Canada’s Parliament for the first time as King.

Over the next decade, 75 million Americans will retire. For couples, it may be surprising to learn that this transition may prove more difficult than for a single man or woman.

Whether both individuals decide to retire together or at different times, there will be bumps in the road. Conversely, if only one partner is retiring, their new free time at home may prove meddlesome to the other.

Conversations around transitioning together and transitioning as individuals are critical prior to retirement. Most likely, the two of you have contributed to a financial plan for years on end. But have you considered an emotional plan? A relationship plan? A relocation plan?

Where Do You Want to Live in Retirement?

For better and for worse, retirement will bring major changes to a marriage, and change is always stressful. Ending a career is a major life transition no matter which way you cut it. Retiring brings with it one of the greatest lifestyle shifts an adult can experience. It’s important to start conversations about where you want to be in retirement well before the time arrives.

Do you want to stay in the same city or move to be closer to your grandchildren? Are you downsizing? What state is best for retirement?

Things to Consider When Deciding on Your Dream Retirement Destination

Whether you and your partner’s plans are 100% aligned or totally out of sync, these suggestions can help open the scope of what retirement life could look like:

Staying Put

Decide if you want to stay in the same city. Does this area provide the necessities you’ll need over the course of retirement? Could you never imagine living elsewhere? Do you have family or friends nearby to visit with or help if needed?

Healthcare

Consider access and costs of healthcare in your current location. Is it reasonably priced? What medical conditions can you anticipate? Are you close to great hospitals?

Housing

If you are staying put, do you want to downsize? Are you considering leaving your house, yard and garage life to a low-maintenance townhouse or apartment complex? What are the price differences for each? Pros and cons?

Relocation

If you are considering relocation, spend some time traveling together to check out new areas and favorite destinations.

Do you want to be in a warmer climate? Near a major airport? Close to golf courses and beaches, or mountains and fishing streams? In a smaller college town? Do you want to be near family?

Moving

For relocations, are you taking everything with you? Do you need a moving company? What essentials do you need to set up in a new place?

Goals

Most importantly, take time to adjust to being retired. Don’t feel pressured to jump in the deep end the first month you retire. Continue an open dialogue with your spouse about where you see yourself, and be open and patient to change.

6 Top Retirement Destinations

After extensive research by eRetirements on all 50 states in the US, these are the top retirement locations in the country, from small college towns to large metropolitan cities:

Sarasota, Florida

A resident and close friend recently told us, “I have been all around the world, and Sarasota is the only place that I can truly call perfect.” From award-winning beaches and golf courses, to outdoor activities on the Gulf of Mexico, Sarasota recently became a top destination for retirees who are looking a hot retirement!

Wilmington, North Carolina

With history and Atlantic coast beaches, Wilmington is a college town that enjoys all four seasons. If these are important factors to you when deciding where to retire, you’re in luck! Wilmington has more history than most suspect, as well as a bustling social scene with a laid-back beach attitude.

Colorado Springs, Colorado

Do you want to live in nature, and still have direct access to five star meals and cultural activities? Colorado Springs boasts crisp mountain air, a lower cost of living, general tax friendliness and unique cultural activities. Perfect for retirees who want to be part of the great outdoors, the city has a diverse range of neighborhoods, all with unique characteristics.

San Diego, California

Sunny Southern California… say no more, right? With picturesque beaches, year-round warm weather and endless outdoor and ocean activities, San Diego truly embodies the quintessential California lifestyle.

One of the biggest benefits of living in San Diego is the impressive cultural offerings and amenities of a large city. While San Diego has one of the highest cost of living and taxes of all the cities we cover, if you love California, this is the ultimate retirement destination!

Austin, Texas

Austin, Texas has been a popular destination for retirees who want to be in a college town with a big city feel. The city’s low cost of living, warm weather, university culture, stellar restaurant offerings and tech scene make the city an excellent choice for aging individuals from all walks of life. The economy has been booming in recent years, as many tech companies were either founded in or relocated to the area due to the city’s general tax friendliness.

Raleigh, North Carolina

Raleigh is the ideal retirement city for retirees who still want to be out and about. The city has no shortage of cultural activities and a great food scene, all while retaining its Southern charm and laid back attitude. Plus, with 20+ golf courses, Raleigh made Golf.com’s list of 50 best golf cities. All of this combined with mild winters and a low cost of living makes for an excellent choice for baby boomers.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you decided about where you and your partner want to retire? What things are you looking for in a retirement location? What factors have you considered? Please share in the comments.

Although I do like being an older woman, one of the downsides of reaching our 60s and beyond is that there are more and more deaths among the people in our lives.

We note that those remaining from the generation above – parents, aunts, uncles and so forth – are beginning to fade and eventually die. But so, too, are some of our friends – and their spouses and families.

This has been exacerbated by the arrival of the coronavirus, with its huge increase of ‘excess deaths’ all over the world.

Perhaps you notice that you are going to more funerals than in the past. Or you would have liked to go, if attendance hadn’t been forbidden because of pandemic restrictions.

And you are also writing more of those oh-so-difficult letters.

Letters of Condolence

I was writing a condolence letter very recently to my daughter-in-law’s twin sister, regarding the death of their mother.

It struck me that I really disliked the word ‘condolence’ and I said so, among other things, in the letter. She wrote back and, among other responses, agreed.

The interesting question is why.

I suggested the word sounded ‘officious’, but that might not be the right word. She suggested it was ‘distancing’, which is better.

I think the word ‘condolence’ has the quality of one-size-fits-all. It is the word to be used in the circumstances, and, having used it, we feel we have said what we need.

But one size doesn’t fit all. Every death is different, because every life is different and every relationship is different.

A letter of condolence is about your feeling for the person who has died or your feeling for the person who has experienced the loss or both. You cannot express your thoughts on these complex matters in a single word.

Moreover, there must be such a difference between a letter to your oldest friend and one to a distant aunt, who you saw once in your life.

And once you start writing something more elaborate, what does the word ‘condolence’ add?

Warm Letters

It seems to me that what you want to express in these circumstances is a sense of warmth, the equivalent of the arm around the shoulder that you would offer if you were together.

Sometimes, it will feel more appropriate to write about how important the person who has died was to you. What he or she gave you and what you will remember.

Other times, you may prefer to write about your sympathy for – or, indeed, empathy with – the person who has experienced the loss. Your effort to understand what they are going through, depending on their relations with the person who died.

Perhaps they were very close, for instance the widow or widower from a happy marriage, where he or she will be completely devastated.

Or perhaps they had a difficult relationship, like a son who was never really given unconditional love from his recently deceased father. Or where their meetings had ceased after a remarriage.

The variety of complex circumstances go on and on.

It is impossible to write a genuine letter from yourself to that person without acknowledging these different relationships and situations.

What to Write

I have never liked advising people on what to do and will not do so in any depth now.

But next time you are faced with the need to write a letter of condolence, do stop and think.

What do you really want to say? How open do you want to be? What do you really want to write about?

The resulting letter will be much better for that thinking time.

And you will feel better for yourself for having written it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you had to write a lot of letters of condolence? Did you find it difficult? What was the most difficult situation you faced?

In 2015, I published a blog on Sixty and Me about supporting adult children, Letting Go, and the Art of Parenting Adult Children. In it I shared, “I am hoping to be a grandma one day soon….” Then, in 2020, my wish came true, and I wrote Don’t Miss Out on the Gift of Grandparenting.

Recently, I was approached by Clare Ansberry, a Wall Street Journal journalist who read my Sixty and Me blog and asked to interview me and, subsequently, my daughter. Her article The Toughest Part of Being a Grandparent: Ceding Control came out for Mother’s Day, and the quote below from my daughter was my greatest Mother’s Day gift!

Becki Cohn-Vargas was thrilled when her daughter had a baby boy in 2020, but less thrilled when her daughter bought a large puppy. Cohn-Vargas offered to take care of her grandson and the puppy at her house, but the playful puppy scared her own older dog.

“It was not working out,” says Cohn-Vargas. She told her daughter, Melania Khouie-Vargas, that she thought it was a mistake to get a big dog and suggested finding another owner or giving the dog back to the breeder. Her daughter said she wasn’t getting rid of the dog but agreed to send the puppy to doggy daycare when her mom provided child care.

“We moved on and it was fine,” says Khouie-Vargas. . . .Having had her own child, she admires her mom – who raised three children and was a school principal, superintendent and author – even more. “I’m in awe of how she did it,” she says.

While grandparenting can be one of the greatest gifts, I reflect on what I wrote before I had grandchildren and agree with Clare Ansberry about “ceding control” to our adult children when they become parents. Since having a grandchild (now five years old), I also want to elaborate on the three suggestions I described in my first article and add a fourth:

Letting Go of Worry

Letting go of the fear that something will happen to my kids (and grandkids). It will. That is just life.

To be honest, I cannot completely let go of worry. However, I can put that worry in check and try not to let it dominate me.

Letting Go of Giving Advice

Accepting their choices. Clearly, they won’t always be the same as the ones I would have made.

As I said in my Clare Ansberry interview, while I seek to limit the advice I offer, sometimes I believe my advice is valuable. The challenge is not to harp on it. With my daughter’s dog, I prefaced my remarks with the words, “I want to offer some advice, but if you choose not to follow it, no worries, I will not repeat it.” Although she did not take my advice, I never brought up the topic again. As she said in her interview, “We moved on and it was fine.”

Letting Go of Guilt-Tripping

Accepting that my kids have their own lives and that’s a good thing.

Definitely, guilt-tripping and words like “I told you so” are not helpful. I have sought to eliminate that from my vocabulary (except occasionally to my husband).”

An additional suggestion:

Letting Go of Feeling Guilty

There is so much being written about generational trauma, passed down from parent to child. The problem is that it leads to guilt. As we reflect on the traumas we inherited from our parents, we most likely attempt to do things differently with our children. But by the time grandchildren show up, we realize that was not so easy and can find ourselves feeling helpless and guilty.

I love this quote from Sherry Bronson’s Sixty and Me blog, Do Mothers and Grandmothers Ever Stop Feeling Guilty:

“We do our imperfect best. From the moment we push them naked and helpless from our bodies, they’re ours to nurture, protect, and love. They come without instructions, and each one is so uniquely different that a single guidebook would never suffice.”

So many things are out of our control, and feeling guilty, like guilt-tripping, does not help. And yet, feeling guilty can happen in a flash. In response to a comment on her blog, Sherry wrote, “Guilt is tricky. It can be triggered when we least expect it and pull us down fast. For me, it’s one of those things I have to acknowledge, then consciously set aside. The best way I’ve found to do that is to picture my grief pouring into a box. When I’ve drained myself of all of it, I mentally close the box, tie a ribbon around it, and blow it a kiss. I watch as the box slowly dissolves and disappears.” I think I will try that too.

Resources Are Available for Advice

Ten years ago, I found hardly any articles to reference for my adult children blog. Now, you can find many more articles, books, and a website: Grownchildren.net, with tips on practical situations like handling family gatherings and weddings.

There, I found some wisdom from the 20th-century philosopher Bertrand Russell:

“When your children are grown up, they want to live their own lives. If you continue to be as interested in them as you were when they were young, you are likely to become a burden to them … I do not mean that one should be without interest in them. Still, one’s interest should be contemplative and, if possible, philanthropic, but not unduly emotional….

“But if you are one of those who are incapable of impersonal interests, you may find that your life will be empty unless you concern yourself with your children and grandchildren. In that case, you must realise that while you can still render them material services, such as making them an allowance or knitting them jumpers, you must not expect that they will enjoy your company.”

I agree with Russell that adult children need to live their own lives. We cannot treat them as we did while they were young children. I must be “incapable of impersonal interest” because I choose to maintain a close family connection. However, as I aim to give my children respect as they navigate parenting, I also afford them plenty of space to do it. Hopefully, they can enjoy my company!

I have a new grandson on the way. He is the first child of my youngest and is due in September. I will keep this blog handy to remind myself of my commitment to cede control and stay connected.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How do you parent your grown children? Do you show impersonal interest or are you involved with them?

Choosing a grandmother’s name is a special opportunity to express your personality and style. Are you looking for something modern, playful, or completely unexpected? There are many options beyond the traditional “Grandma” or “Nana.” 

Let’s take a look at some unique grandma nicknames that bring a fresh and sassy twist to your grandparenting journey. 

Unique Grandma Nicknames

Gigi  

A chic and stylish name, Gigi is short and sweet, making it perfect for a modern grandmother. It has a fun, youthful feel that adds flair to your role as Grandma.

Glamma 

For the grandma who loves a little sparkle, Glamma (a mix of “glamorous” and “grandma”) is the ultimate sassy choice. It’s perfect for a fashion-forward, confident grandmother who embraces life with flair.

Mimi  

Mimi is a warm and playful alternative that has been growing in popularity. It’s easy for little ones to say and has a sweet, endearing quality.

Lulu  

This fun and whimsical name gives off a cheerful vibe. Lulu is great for a grandma who is energetic, lively, and always up for an adventure with the grandkids.

Queenie  

If you like to be treated like royalty, why not go with Queenie? This name is both playful and regal, giving you the status you deserve while keeping things lighthearted.

Honey  

A sweet and affectionate choice, Honey makes for a warm and loving grandma nickname. It has an old-school charm while still feeling fresh and unique.

Birdie 

Birdie is a vintage-inspired name with a trendy, hip feel. It’s great for a grandma who loves nature, travel, or simply wants something a little different.

Coco 

Fashionable and sophisticated, Coco is a fabulous option for a stylish grandmother. Inspired by Coco Chanel, this name is perfect for the grandma with timeless elegance.

Tutu  

Popular in Hawaiian culture, Tutu is a warm and affectionate name that stands out from the usual choices. It’s a great option for grandmothers who appreciate culture and uniqueness.

Sassy  

If you’ve got a bold personality and love standing out, why not just go with “Sassy”? It’s fun, lively, and fits the grandma who’s full of spirit and energy.

Funny and Quirky Grandma Names

Some grandmothers love a name that reflects their humor, playfulness, and unique personality. Here are a few fun and unexpected names.

BamBam

Perfect for a high-energy, always-on-the-go grandmother.

G-Money

A cool, hip nickname for the grandma who keeps up with the trends.

Big Mama

A classic Southern choice with a bold and affectionate touch.

Mimzy

A whimsical, fairy-tale-like name that feels fun and magical.

Diva

For the grandma who loves to shine and command attention.

Sugar

Sweet and sassy, this name adds a little extra charm.

Tinker

A playful choice for a grandma who’s always up to something fun.

These quirky names are a great fit for grandmothers who want to bring a little extra fun to their grandparenting role while standing out from the crowd.

Read more: The Process of Learning How to Be a Grandmother.

Celebrity Grandmother Names

Many famous grandmothers have chosen unique and stylish names, showing that traditional names aren’t the only option. Here are a few celebrity-inspired grandma names.

• Goldie Hawn – Gogo
• Kris Jenner – Lovey
• Martha Stewart – Martha (she prefers to skip traditional grandmother names)
• Blythe Danner – Lalo
• Tina Knowles (Beyoncé’s mom) – Mama T

These names add a touch of glamour and individuality, proving that being a grandma doesn’t mean losing your sense of style and personality.

Modern Trends in Grandma Names

Grandmother names are evolving with each generation, reflecting a shift towards more youthful, stylish, and personality-driven choices. Here are some of the biggest trends in grandma nicknames today.

Short & Sweet

One- or two-syllable names like “Gigi,” “Mimi,” and “Lulu” are becoming increasingly popular because they are easy for grandchildren to say and have a modern, playful feel.

Glamorous & Chic

Grandmothers today are embracing sophisticated names like “Glamma,” “Coco,” and “Queenie” to reflect their vibrant, stylish lives.

Pop Culture Influence

Many grandmothers are inspired by celebrities and icons, choosing names associated with famous figures or characters.

Personalized & Unique

Some grandmothers opt for completely unique names, often letting their grandkids come up with something special that sticks over time.

Cultural & Heritage-Based

Many families are reviving cultural names for grandmothers, such as “Nonna” (Italian), “Oma” (German), or “Abuela” (Spanish), to honor family traditions and heritage.

As grandmothers today redefine their roles, their names are evolving to match their active, modern lifestyles. Whether you want something classic, trendy, or completely one-of-a-kind, there’s no limit to how creative you can be when choosing your perfect grandma name!

Read more: The Grandmother’s Rules of Procedure (GRP).

Grandma Names in History and Around the World  

Grandmother names have evolved over time, influenced by history, language, and cultural traditions. In many cultures, these names carry deep significance and family honor. 

• Yaya (Greek): A term of endearment used in Greece for grandmothers, symbolizing warmth and wisdom.
• Oma (German & Dutch): A classic name that has been passed down through generations in Germany and the Netherlands.
• Nonna (Italian): A beloved grandmother name in Italy, often associated with strong family traditions and home-cooked meals.
• Lola (Filipino): A widely used term in the Philippines, showing respect and affection for grandmothers.
• Babushka (Russian): A traditional and affectionate name for grandmothers in Russia, often associated with storytelling and family guidance.
• Abuela (Spanish): A common Spanish word for grandmother, used across many Latin American countries and Spain.

Across different societies, grandma nicknames reflect cultural values, relationships, and even generational shifts in naming trends. Whether you choose a historical, cultural, or modern name, the most important thing is that it feels right for you and your family.

Finding the Perfect Name  

When choosing your grandma nickname, think about what reflects your personality best. Do you want something trendy, elegant, or completely unexpected? There’s a perfect name out there for every sassy, stylish, and fun-loving grandmother.

Read more: Having Fun with Grandma Names in Different Languages.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What’s your favorite alternative name for Grandma? What do your grandchildren call you? Do you have any other unique grandma nicknames to add to our list? Share your ideas in the comments section below!