Month: June 2025

What did she do?

What did she do?

You’ve worked hard, saved diligently, and now you’re stepping into retirement – or maybe you’re already there. But as you change AND the world around you continues to change, it might be time to fold in some new knowledge!

One of the smartest things you can do right now? Understand the difference between real and financial assets – and how that affects your long-term security.

Why This Matters Now

If you’re like many women entering retirement, your primary concern is simple: Will my money last?

You’re not alone. Managing your own finances can feel empowering – but also overwhelming – especially when headlines keep shouting about inflation, interest rates, and market volatility.

Knowing the difference between real assets and financial assets isn’t just technical jargon. It’s a practical skill that can help you:

• Make better decisions about what to keep, sell, or draw from.
• Protect your buying power over time.
• Prioritize which assets to use (or hold) if you should need cash.
• Spend, save, and plan in alignment with your values and goals.

Let’s Break It Down

Real Assets

Think: physical, tangible things you can touch.

Examples: real estate, vehicles, land, gold, jewelry

These real (tangible) assets will often hold value over time, are not often easy to sell (less liquid), and can rise in value along with inflation.

Financial Assets

Think: pieces of paper (or digital records) that represent money or value.

Examples: stocks, bonds, retirement accounts, mutual funds, cash

These assets are easier to sell, or in the case of cash, trade for goods or services. The value of these assets may change more often (sometimes many times a day).

How This Shows Up in Real Life

Imagine you need $10,000 for an unexpected medical expense. Should you sell stock? Dip into your emergency fund? Refinance your home?

Understanding which assets are liquid, and which are better to hold during inflation, helps you:

• Avoid unnecessary taxes or penalties.
• Protect assets that are likely to grow in value.
• Feel more confident in your choices.

Try This: Quick Asset Inventory

Use this simple worksheet to get clear on what you have – and how you might prioritize it.

Take a Few Minutes of Action!

Take 20 minutes this week to fill out a quick asset inventory like the one above.

For each asset, ask yourself:

• Is this easy to access if I need it?
• Is it likely to hold its value?
• What role does it play in my bigger picture?

You don’t need to do anything with these assets, this is just about knowing what your priorities are and what your options are!

Final Thoughts

Understanding what kinds of assets you have (and how to use them in accordance with YOUR values) is just the next smart step in protecting your future.

You’ve got this. Need a second opinion or another perspective? Reach out to a trusted financial advisor or financial coach!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you have a full list of your assets – real and financial? Have you considered under what circumstances you are to use each?

My first experience with death and mourning occurred with the untimely death of my late husband, Michael. Losing my soul mate was debilitating. I can best describe myself as shattered and shocked.

One day I was young, in my 40s, with two precious daughters, living near the sea, in Honolulu, Hawaii. Life in the Islands with Michael, also in his 40s, was a romantic adventure. The word ‘survive’ was not part of my vocabulary.

And then, the tide turned. I found myself immersed in a private and personal journey of unanticipated grief. As a young woman and mother, I was in uncharted waters. I was faced with learning how to handle constant sadness, fear, lack of concentration, loneliness, and grieving.

Looking back, I survived by my instincts. I was always mindful of signals coming from my heart, prompting me how to survive the loss of my husband, knowing I had no choice but to ‘ride the wave.’

How One Phone Call Changed Everything

The phone rang as I was about to leave for the market to shop for a special dinner. We were going to celebrate Michael’s homecoming and a successful business trip to Salt Lake City, Utah. I was as happy as a lark when I picked up the phone.

I immediately recognized the voice on the other end of the line and I smiled. It was Michael’s brother, Roger, a periodontist living in Colorado with his wife Karen and two children.

“Hi, Rog! How are you? I am so happy to hear your voice,” I said.

Roger pulled no punches. He said to me, “Michael had a heart attack.”

I burst out, “I will be on the next available flight into Salt Lake.”

Roger said, with no emotion in his voice, “Susan, Michael is dead.”

Overwrought with uncontrolled and sorrowful emotion, I heard myself screaming at the top of my lungs, “Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!” so loudly my neighbor next door heard me and phoned the police to report what she thought was a break-in.

Three police officers arrived and saw me racked with uncontrollable and heart-wrenching sobs. Nothing could stop the faucet of tears from drenching my face. I was agonizing over my loss. I felt my pain. I was in the beginning stage of mourning, a young woman who knew nothing of death.

It is now 20+ years later. I survived this loss and yes, I can even say I am now thriving. The lesson is this: With fortitude and one step forward at a time, you too can survive and thrive again. Here’s how.

The Four Types of Widows I Have Met, Myself Included

• Pretending to be ‘just fine’.
• Talks incessantly about the deceased spouse.
• The ‘merry widow’, running as fast as she can.
• Rode the wave through the pain.

During the first year, I felt like each of these ‘types’ of widows at one point or another.

I was overwrought with sadness. I was lonely for Michael. I lost my ability to concentrate. I could not read or watch television for the first year.

I preferred spending my time alone with my pooch, in my private world, thinking. I had no desire to engage in social conversation other than with my daughters. I could not remember anything negative about my marriage.

How I Survived… And You Can, Too!

Exercise and meditation

I walked four miles daily, two in the early morning and two at sunset with my pooch, Maholo. We strolled along the beach or down the road past Diamond Head and into the park, and I used the time to think about my life with Michael. This helped my physical and emotional stress.

Cry

I felt my pain and cried long and hard every day that first year. I never held back one tear or thought.

Move to a Place that will Bring You Comfort

My surroundings were extremely important to me so I moved from our large home to a beautiful apartment with a large lanai near the sea. I smelled the salt air and filled my apartment with nature, orchids everywhere. My new home wrapped its arms around me and brought me serenity.

Accept Help

My daughter Jenny asked if she could move into my apartment with me and I said, “yes.”

Embrace New Relationships

Month 10 after Michael’s death, I met my husband, Sheldon Good. I told him, “I cannot see you for a year and a day from the time of Michael’s death out of respect for Michael, my daughters and myself.” He waited for me. We are now married and have been for over two decades. There is hope, my friends.

Listen to Your Heart

I rode my personal wave, always listening to my heart, and that’s what got me where I am today.

The Four Stages of Mourning – Because The Only Way Out Is Through

I knew there were four stages of mourning. A widow or widower never fully recovers until they deal with their feelings.

• Shock and denial. We cannot comprehend.
• Anger, fear of the unknown, depression.
• We survived. Our mind accepts that life can go on. And, so it does.
• Moving on to a new beginning, a new chapter.

These are natural feelings that helped me get to the heart of my grief. It was natural for me to feel and release all of my emotions, but I know this is not the case for everyone. If you are stuck in grief, there is help for you. Private counseling, self-help groups, a family Priest, Minister or Rabbi.

The message is this: Life goes on and you can, too. That is what your partner wishes for you. Please don’t deny yourself the ability to ‘ride your wave’ to a new chapter of your life. If you aren’t there yet, please trust that you will be happy again and you deserve to be happy.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

If you have lost a loved one, what tools helped you heal? Do you feel guilty for finding happiness again? How did you regain happiness after a tragic loss? Please share your story below and help us learn from it.

Every year, thousands of health-conscious people take part in Dry July. Whether you join a group challenge or go solo, you’re part of something bigger – and that sense of community can be powerfully motivating.

Dry July is the perfect time to press pause on drinking and reset your mind, body, and habits.

Alcohol is insidious and as we get older it makes sense to review our drinking habits – have we been drinking a little more as the years have gone by?

Are we drinking to cope with stress or loneliness rather than just to socialise?

Check out these 6 Reasons to Ditch the Booze after 60.

7 Reasons to Do a Dry July

So whether you’re worried about your drinking, sober-curious or just looking for a health boost, here are 7 compelling reasons to at least take a break for a month:

1. Sleep Better

You might think a glass of wine helps you unwind but, in reality, alcohol disrupts our sleep. Although alcohol may make us feel sleepy, the sleep we get will not be good quality. We need 7 cycles of REM a night to wake up feeling refreshed – after drinking alcohol we only get about 2. This fatigue builds up over the years if you’re a daily drinker. So catch up on your sleep this July and you’ll feel your energy surging back!

2. Reset Your Relationship with Alcohol

When drinking becomes a routine, we rarely pause to ask why. Dry July offers a chance to get curious about your habits, identify triggers, and discover if alcohol is really adding value to your life. Just as we go for an annual medical check, we should be checking our dependence on alcohol regularly. 20% of social drinkers will become dependent over the years and the best way to avoid that is by taking regular breaks. If you can get through a Dry July easily then you’re fine – if not, then maybe it’s time to make some changes.

3. Save Money

Those “just one or two” drinks add up – especially if you’re dining out. Do the maths – work out how much you spend on alcohol every week, multiply that by 52. You might be surprised how much you save by the end of the month… enough to treat yourself to something more meaningful. Getting a glass jar and dropping the cash in it every day will act as a powerful daily reminder of the money you waste on alcohol.

4. Lower Your Health Risk

Alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases. As women, we are particularly at risk of breast cancer. Recent research led to the reduction of the Canadian low risk limits to just two drinks a week – and to be really healthy it’s best to avoid it completely. Studies have shown that even one month off alcohol will have a positive effect on your health so Dry July makes a lot of sense.

5. Lose Weight

Alcohol affects your metabolism. It’s full of sugar and contains lots of calories. We’re also less likely to make healthy food choices when we are drinking – add into that the fact that alcohol is a toxin and your body will metabolise that before burning up the calories in your food. Your body wants to protect you so will prioritise eliminating the alcohol. Many Dry July participants report brighter eyes, clearer skin, and weight loss – all in just four weeks.

6. Discover New Ways to Relax

If we kick off our evening with a glass or two of wine the time can just slip away. Rather than automatically pouring a drink plan to do something else. Without reaching for a glass, you’ll uncover other ways to unwind – like yoga, journaling, walking, or connecting with friends. These habits often stick long after July ends so use the extra time you gain this July to actively explore some new interests.

7. Better Skin

Alcohol is a diuretic that dehydrates your skin. It forces water out of the body and decreases the production of a hormone that helps the body absorb and hold water. That’s why we need water if we’re feeling hungover. In fact, just one glass of wine robs your body of the equivalent of 4 glasses of water! Less water in the body leads to dry looking skin and red cheeks. The good news is that after a Dry July you’ll notice a vast improvement.

7 Tips to Make Dry July Easier

Giving up alcohol for a month can feel daunting – but it doesn’t have to be! With the right mindset and a few smart strategies, Dry July can be surprisingly enjoyable.

Here are 7 practical tips to make the journey easier (and more rewarding):

1. Know Your “Why”

Write down your personal reasons for doing Dry July. Read the 7 reasons again and highlight which ones resonate with you most. Whether it’s better sleep, saving money, or breaking a habit it’s important to understand why you are taking a break. Keep your why list somewhere visible – maybe as a screensaver on your phone or a list stuck on the fridge? Motivation may dip and your why list will keep you on track.

2. Tell Someone

People are becoming more health conscious and more aware of the harm that alcohol can do. Ten years ago, you may have been met with astonishment if you refused a glass of wine, but these days attitudes are changing. There is a sober curious movement, and many young people don’t drink at all. So let friends or family know you’re taking a break from alcohol. The accountability helps – and you might even inspire someone to join you!

3. Keep the Ritual… Change the Ingredient

The alcohol-free beverage industry has exploded over the last few years. When I quit drinking in 2015 my choices were water or a soft drink. These days there are many alcohol-free wines, and the alcohol-free beers taste just like the real thing. Kombucha is delicious and good for the gut. Keep your fridge full of alcohol-free options that you genuinely enjoy. Rituals matter, so you can still relax at the end of the day… with an alcohol-free drink.

4. Avoid Your Triggers

Make your Dry July as easy as possible. If your social life involves a lot of drinking, then plan for a quieter month and turn down a few invitations. Get out into nature, take up a new type of exercise – yoga, meditation or tai chi for example. If you usually pour a glass of wine at 6pm, plan something else for that time – go for a walk, listen to a podcast, or try a new recipe. Sign up for an online course and learn something new… break the habit loop.

5. Track Your Progress – Keep a Journal

Use a calendar or app to tick off each alcohol-free day. Seeing your streak grow is surprisingly satisfying and gives you a sense of achievement. If you have a journal then write about your Dry July Challenge every day. Is it easy, is it difficult – what is the hardest bit, are you tempted to keep it going for a bit longer? List the benefits you are experiencing. If you don’t journal then this could be the opportunity to start this very beneficial habit.

6. Reward Yourself

Plan small weekly treats – like a massage, new book, or your favourite takeaway. Celebrate your progress in ways that nurture you. The alcohol industry has managed to convince many of us that a glass of wine is the ultimate act of “self-care”. For those of us who have developed a dependency on alcohol it’s the exact opposite. Use your Dry July to explore healthy methods of “self-care” – methods that don’t involve drinking a toxic substance!

7. Join a Supportive Community

You don’t have to do this alone. Being part of a group makes all the difference – sharing wins, struggles, and tips keeps you motivated.

Join Tribe Sober’s FREE 7-Day Dry July Bootcamp from 29th June to 6th July – designed especially for women over 40 who want to take a mindful break from alcohol. Our bootcamp includes:

Daily tips and inspiration

Live support and community

Tools to help you stay on track

Delivered via a private Facebook Group

Let July be the month you discover how amazing alcohol-free can feel.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you take regular breaks from alcohol to improve your health and test your dependence? Does the thought of doing an alcohol-free month make you anxious? Were you aware that the Canadian low risk guideline is just two drinks a week?