Month: June 2025

It’s time we said this out loud: living alone does not mean living lonely. In fact, for many of us, this chapter of life is about rediscovering our voice, reclaiming our space, and building connections on our own terms – no apologies, no explanations.

But yes – there are days when the silence is heavy. When you wish someone would check in. When your courage wavers and the walls seem to close in. That’s when a support circle becomes not just helpful, but essential. Not just to get by – but to thrive.

So, how do you build a support circle when you live alone and you’re not 25 anymore, grabbing drinks with coworkers or organizing playdates?

Here’s how – boldly, intentionally, and without settling for crumbs.

Ditch the Shame: Needing People Doesn’t Make You Weak

Let’s unpack this myth: needing connection doesn’t mean you’re needy. It means you’re human. Strength isn’t about doing it alone – it’s about knowing when to reach out, send the text, make the call, start the conversation.

You’re not asking for charity – you’re offering reciprocity.

Start with Micro-Connections in Familiar Places

Support circles start with one real connection. Look around: yoga class, local café, community center, library.

Start small:

• Ask a neighbor if they’d like to join you for a walk.
• Chat with someone before your next class.

Tangible step: Pick one place you already plan to visit this week. Speak to one person. That’s how circles begin.

Send a Brave Message to Someone You Miss

Think of someone you’ve lost touch with – an old friend, a cousin, a former colleague. Send a warm, simple message:

“Hey, I know it’s been a while, but I was thinking of you. Want to catch up soon?”

Tangible step: Write down 3 names. Choose one. Reach out today.

Be Clear About What You Need – and Offer What You Can

What kind of connection are you craving?

• Someone to call weekly?
• A buddy to go to events with?
• A friend to share meals or walks?

Say it. Ask for it. And offer support in return. You may be a great listener, a wonderful cook, or the kind of friend who always shows up.

Let people know what kind of circle you’re building — and why it matters.

Create a “Connection Calendar”

Living alone can blur time. Create connection routines that keep you grounded:

• Monday: Call a sibling.
• Wednesday: Walk with a neighbor.
• Friday: Join a group activity.
• Sunday: Video call someone you love.

Tangible step: Plan just one recurring connection this week – even a 20-minute chat counts.

Start a Casual Monthly Ritual

You don’t need to host a five-course dinner. Try:

• First Friday Supper Club – everyone brings a dish.
• Sunday Soup Circle – rotate homes.
• Books & Tea Tuesdays – read or not, just gather.

Tangible step: Pick a date. Invite 2–3 persons. Keep it cozy and low-pressure.

Use Tech – But Make It Real

Join local Facebook or WhatsApp groups. Use Meetup or Nextdoor. But don’t stop at scrolling – reach out. Invite someone for coffee or a walk.

Better yet, create a tiny group chat of 3–5 women to check in daily or weekly.

Tangible step: Text 2 friends: “Want to start a group chat just to stay connected?”

Additional resource: The 30 Best Apps for Women Over 60.

Be the Initiator – Don’t Wait to Be Invited

You’re not needy – you’re a leader.

• Start a “Widowed Women’s Coffee Club.”
• Launch a walking group.
• Host a crafting or journaling circle.

Tangible step: Choose one kind of group you wish existed. If it doesn’t – start it. You only need two others.

Use Simple Conversation Starters

Worried it’ll be awkward? Try:

• “I’ve been thinking of starting something regular – like a walk or lunch. Want to join?”
• “I live alone and want more connection. Would you like to be part of a small circle I’m building?”

Most people are just waiting for someone to go first.

Let Go of What Drains You

Not every relationship deserves a seat in your circle. Some ties fade. Some people aren’t nourishing. And some connections reflect who you used to be, not who you are now.

Let them go – with peace. Create space for the people who see you, hear you, and honor who you are becoming.

Closing Thought: You’re Not Alone – You’re in Charge

You’ve lived through heartbreaks, reinvention, triumphs, and quiet evolution. This is your time. Your life. Your circle.

A support system isn’t a luxury – it’s a foundation. You deserve people who:

• Celebrate your joys.
• Sit with you in the hard.
• Remind you of your brilliance.

So go ahead: send the message. Make the call. Start the circle.

You’re not too late. You’re right on time.

Start today with your free 30-DAY CONNECTION CALENDAR. Just send me an email at lifecoach@expertonyourlife.com.

Let’s Hear from You:

What kind of support circle do you dream of? What’s one step you can take this week to build connections? Have you built a circle that changed your life? What did it look like? Share your thoughts below – your story might be the nudge another woman needs today.

Are you a knitter, quilter, or have some other crafting hobby that takes up substantial space in your home? Here’s what to do to keep your craft supplies under control so you can enjoy your hobby more.

Clear Out the Old to Make Room for the New

Items that are stockpiled and never used stagnate the energy of your home. This in turn stagnates the energy of your life. Old items become clutter that needs to be cleared in the same way that any other type of over-accumulation do.

Begin by discarding equipment that is broken or you don’t like using. Toss supplies that have expired, like pens that don’t work and glue tubes that have dried up.

Then sort through and let go of any materials you don’t like. This can be things that you’ve had for a long time, or items that you have too much of. Yes, they could all come in useful someday, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep them forever.

Designate a Finite Amount of Storage Space

The big question for many crafters is: When is enough really enough? The only way to keep craft materials under control is to allocate a finite amount of storage space. If a new item comes in, make a firm rule for yourself that something old goes out. It’s the only way to make sure the quantity of craft clutter does not endlessly increase.

Invest in Furniture or Storage Containers

“Designated storage space” does not mean piles of plastic bags stuffed full of things. This clogs up the energy of a room and becomes an eyesore. This happens easily in the homes of avid crafters. A solution is to invest in some kind of furniture or storage containers. This way you can organize equipment according to usage and materials according to type.

If you are passionate enough about your chosen hobby, you will be not only willing to do this but you’ll absolutely love the creative freedom it brings.

A Place for Everything and Everything in Its Place

One of the most frustrating things for a crafter is knowing they have something that’s a perfect fit for the project they are working on, but cannot find it. Give each piece of equipment and each type of material its own home. Get into the habit of putting it back where it belongs so that you won’t need to break your creative flow to hunt for it.

Let Go of Unfinished Projects

Unfinished projects create clutter of the physical kind. They also clutter your psyche, nagging away at the back of your mind until they are done. Give yourself a break. Your hobby is supposed to be fun, not a chore. Let go of the creations you’ve lost interest in completing and you’ll have more energy to put into projects that you really want to do.

Finish One Project Before Starting the Next

Saying yes to too many projects can clutter your work table and your mind. It can also feel emotionally overwhelming. Bring yourself up-to-date and then adopt the new habit of one new creation at a time. Keep a book where you jot down new ideas but wait until you’ve finished the current project before starting the next.

Don’t Let Your Hobby Be a Substitute for Life

It’s wonderful to be creative, but don’t let it become a substitute for life or a way of avoiding intimacy with others. You may love the [fill in the item] that it has taken you so long to make, but it can’t love you back. You may enjoy creating gifts for other people, but in the end it’s your love they value the most, not what you make for them. Love what you do, but love people more.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you a crafter? Has your hobby got out of control and created clutter in your home? What solutions have worked for you? Please join the conversation.

It’s Christmas Day and Angela, 74, is sipping a cup of coffee in her son’s living room. A beautiful Christmas tree stands in the corner covered with ornaments and bright colorful lights. The room is filled with the warm and delicious smells of a turkey baking in the oven.

Angela’s favorite people in the world, her children and grandchildren, are sitting around the room talking, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company.

Angela stares at the beautifully wrapped gifts from her family stacked in a pile at her feet. She knows she should feel happy and blessed, but she doesn’t. In fact, she’s been dreading Christmas for months – just like she has for each of the last few years.

Angela glances around the room at her loving family, hoping that nobody has noticed the unhappiness she feels inside. They all have piles of gifts too, but not one is from Angela. All she brought was two platters of cookies sitting on a nearby table.

The cookies are always a hit, but Angela wishes she had the money to give more. Her finances loomed like a dark cloud over her heart on what should have been a fun and joyful day.

Not the Retirement She Envisioned

Angela began crying as she described her financial situation to me. She was brokenhearted that she couldn’t afford to buy Christmas gifts for her beloved grandchildren. 

When Angela retired several years ago, she was reasonably comfortable. But unfortunately, inflation, medical bills, and unexpected home repairs resulted in drained savings and maxed-out credit cards. Her once comfortable retirement income now barely covered her living expenses. 

Her adult children helped where they could, but they had limited resources, too.

This was not the retirement Angela envisioned. She wanted to change her financial situation badly, so she decided to look into a reverse mortgage.

Two Financial Goals

Angela and her husband Jack, who passed away a few years prior, never made a lot of money in their working years. Nevertheless, they were disciplined with their income and managed to pay off the house before retirement.

With an estimated home value of $225,000, Angela was sitting on a nice chunk of home equity. She just needed a way to utilize it to improve her financial situation.

Angela had two main goals for the reverse mortgage:

Eliminate the Credit Card Debt

The total credit card balances were about $25,000. Thanks to the crushing interest rates, Angela could only afford the minimum payments. She was making no headway on getting them paid off. In fact, she had even canceled her cable and cut back on groceries and eating out to make sure the credit card payments were in on time. 

Restore Her Reserves

Angela’s cash reserves were depleted thanks to the medical bills and home repairs. It was very important to restore her cash reserves so she didn’t have to resort to credit cards again.

If a reverse mortgage could accomplish these two goals, Angela was confident she could live comfortably for many years to come.

How a Reverse Mortgage Works

The most popular reverse mortgage in America is the FHA-insured home equity conversion mortgage, or HECM. If you’re at least 62, a HECM enables you to convert a portion of your home’s value into cash. 

No mortgage payments are required as long as at least one borrower (or non-borrowing spouse) lives in the home and pays the property taxes and homeowner’s insurance.

You remain the owner of your home, which means you can leave it to your heirs. Your heirs will inherit any equity remaining in the home.

The HECM is a non-recourse loan, which means the most that will have to be repaid is the value of the home. FHA covers the shortage if your home isn’t worth enough to pay off the entire balance.

A reverse mortgage offers multiple payout options, which means it can be tailored to your individual financial goals and needs. The specifics are beyond the scope of this article, but you can find more in-depth reverse mortgage information on our site, including payout options, basic qualifications, and calculators.

A Financial Game-Changer

Based on her age, estimated home value, and current interest rates, Angela qualified for a net amount (after paying closing costs) of $105,000. She paid off the $25,000 credit card debt first, which saved her $700 to $800 per month.

That alone restored stability to her monthly finances. The icing on the cake was the remaining $80,000, which she left in a growing line of credit to cover future unexpected expenses.

Angela was excited and relieved by how the reverse mortgage turned out. She actually could conquer the mountain of credit card debt that had been such a burden for so long. 

The best part was that she no longer had to dread the holidays. This year, she would have plenty of money to buy gifts for her beloved family. It might sound like hyperbole, but for Angela, a reverse mortgage really was life-changing.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How are you managing financially? What solutions have worked for you? Have you looked into a reverse mortgage? What do you know about this financial option?

If where you currently live isn’t serving your soul, what is holding you back from moving to that seaside village, or adopting a country casual lifestyle or inner-city vibe? Is there a reason why you must live where you are currently residing? What is it that’s keeping you stationary? Is it family, friends, financial obligation, being the grandchildren’s babysitter, guilt of leaving family behind or fear of new beginnings? Is it possible you are making excuses so you don’t have to do anything?

“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” – Paulo Coelho

Have you researched other countries’ cost of living, healthcare and amenities? If you start surfing the internet, you’ll find many examples of women who’ve pulled up stakes, made that leap of faith and are living brand new lives for far less. Read their stories and get inspired!

Excellent healthcare can be cheaper in places such as Spain, Portugal, France and Mexico, to name a few. If you’re unsure, store your stuff with family or in a storage unit – just in case. Commit yourself to a few months or a year and see what happens. You just might be starting the next exciting chapter of the Book of You.

Downsizing

Many folks resist downsizing – it can be hard to decide what stays and what goes. You raised your children in your home, and happy memories are contained within those four walls. But sometimes, finances or physical health makes this option impossible. When I had to make this decision, I reminded myself that much of our “stuff” hadn’t been used in years, and folks just starting out might appreciate my well-cared-for items. Memories are transportable but hanging on to size 5 suits after retirement is just ludicrous.

Try looking at the positives. Downsizing means less stuff to dust. Brenda, a Facebook acquaintance, and her husband had a beautiful, large family home in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. They would have lived there forever if they could, but it became too expensive. So, this active, outdoorsy couple with a passion for travel and entertaining decided to move to sunny and hot Osoyoos, British Columbia, and downsized to an apartment condo.

The destination was perfect and the view spectacular, but the apartment was tiny. Going from a huge four-bedroom home to a one-bedroom was devastating for Brenda. She didn’t complain, but you could sense she was struggling in her Facebook posts.

Knowing how much she loved hiking and boating, I suggested that the square footage of her home may have decreased, but the size of her wilderness backyard was enormous and stunning! Her kids would love visiting with all that outdoor space and activities to enjoy. In the spring, when we were still getting hit with Calgary, Alberta snowstorms, I was envious of her Facebook photos of sailboats on the lake and flowers blooming everywhere.

It’s all in the way you look at it; appreciate what you have, not what you don’t. I know few people who would complain about beautiful Osoyoos. By the way, a few years later, Brenda and her husband upgraded to an even larger condo in the same building, bought a boat and fell in love with their new lifestyle. Nothing stays the same forever. Keep moving forward, and you’ll get what you want.

Living Abroad

Thailand

Gather your courage and become a digital nomad. Canadian Deborah Tobin created her company, Mobile Dispatches, as she navigated living a lifestyle that was out of the ordinary. Now in her late 60s, Deborah started her journey teaching overseas after the age of 50.

You can tune in to her YouTube channel, Mobile Dispatches, where she shares practical advice, narratives and true stories on how to work, travel and retire abroad cheaply. The last time I checked in to her channel, she had bought and renovated a condo in Chiang Mai, Thailand, for her retirement.

Mexico

I recently read several stories about American women who moved to San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. Although their stories were unrelated, their reasons were primarily the same: the cost of living in Mexico allowed them to have far better lifestyles than if they’d remained in the United States.

They soon discovered a plethora of other benefits for making the move to this stunning UNESCO World Heritage site – temperate climate, large expat community, genuinely friendly locals and a thriving arts community. The women discovered inexpensive, quality healthcare options, housing and more. One woman even commented that Mexicans treat senior women with reverence, and she was just fine with that.

Panama

What about Panama? You could start by reading Jackie Lange’s article, Single Women Moving to Panama. This should get you thinking outside the box, reducing your stress, and relocating to paradise.

Spain

I’ve discovered some fantastic articles and videos on living and working in Southern Spain. You can rent or own, receive excellent healthcare, enjoy a temperate climate and surround yourselves with friendly neighbours – locals and expats alike.

Don’t give up when you discover there are applications to be completed to work or volunteer. Remember – if it were easy, Spain would be overrun with expats, and we don’t want that. If this appeals to you, start doing your homework! For my purposes, I found two great Facebook groups: Canadians in Spain with 4.2K members and Canadians Living in Spain with 17.5K members.

With all the expense and current turmoil of living in Canada. the United States and Britain, my mind keeps wandering to the tranquil beaches of Southern Spain. Although a slower lifestyle might be in order, a sedentary one is not. Fortunately, Barcelona and Lisbon are only a train ride away – so no excuses. You might also want to consider Southern France, Portugal or Italy.

I’m not telling you to move to San Miguel, Mexico – although that would be pretty sweet – or any other country. But don’t discount these destinations. Many countries have large expat communities that are there to give you the inside track and make you feel welcome.

So, there you have just two options for flipping the page and writing your next chapter. The world is your oyster! Open your mind, do some homework and be brave enough to at least consider a change of venue. You’ll discover that all those possessions you have stuffed in your home are insignificant. Your next adventure awaits in another land!

Send me an email at hello@wendyrichards.ca to receive the full chapter on alternative lifestyles from my debut book A Life Postponed – so you too can discover joy and purpose in mid-life and beyond!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Where do you live? Does your current location correspond to your expectations and needs? Have you moved in the past 5 years?

I used to be the poster child for chasing the next big thing. A new diet? I was in. A shiny new personal development program? Sign me up.

A new way to organize your home? Done. Time management will solve all your problems? Here’s my money.

I was constantly starting something new, hoping the next thing would be the secret sauce. I was all in – again and again. But no matter how hard I worked or how many times I started over, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was missing something. Like the real solution was always one book, one program, one system away.

And then it hit me: none of those programs were built for me. They were designed to be one-size-fits-all, but I wasn’t meant to be one-size-fits-anything.

I am custom.

The missing ingredient in every “breakthrough” was me actually trusting myself to know what was best for me to move forward – not some guru.

Why We Stop Trusting Ourselves

It’s easy to place our faith in a program or plan because, let’s be honest – if it doesn’t work out, we can blame the system instead of ourselves. And it’s easier to trust a program than ourselves when we’ve built a track record of breaking promises to ourselves or putting our needs last. That self-trust muscle gets weak.

We become the person we don’t trust.

We talk down to ourselves. We beat ourselves up for not being perfect. We hesitate to make decisions because we’ve convinced ourselves we always get it wrong.

And just like you wouldn’t trust someone who judged you or constantly let you down – it becomes hard to trust yourself if that’s how you’re treating you.

What Listening to Yourself Actually Looks Like

Rebuilding self-trust doesn’t happen overnight. It starts with learning to love and accept yourself as you are – warts and all. It means showing yourself appreciation, not just when things go right, but even when they don’t.

It means knowing that even if everything falls apart, you still have your own back.

Here’s what it looks like in real life:

• Aligning your goals with your identity, not your insecurities.
• Keeping the promises you make to yourself, no matter how small.
• Using affirmations to gently rewire your inner dialogue.
• Journaling not as a task, but as a conversation with yourself.

The Power of Small Wins

If you’re wondering where to begin, start by noticing where you’ve already shown up for yourself. Did you keep a promise today? Did you pause before saying yes to something that didn’t feel aligned?

Those small moments matter more than any “aha” from a book or seminar. Because self-trust is built in the trenches of everyday life.

What Self-Trust Feels Like

There’s a confidence that comes when you know you will deeply love and accept yourself no matter what. That kind of self-trust brings a quiet resilience. It doesn’t mean you always get it right – it means you don’t abandon yourself when you get it wrong.

So if you’ve been chasing the next secret or waiting for the perfect program to fix you, let me offer a gentle truth:

The answer isn’t out there.

It’s already in you.

You’ve always had the wisdom. It’s time to start listening.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you lost trust in yourself? What has that lead to? Would you like to gain trust in yourself again?