Month: June 2025

As a Registered Dietitian who exclusively works with women in midlife and beyond, I often hear my smart, capable clients lament that they have achieved so much in life and yet they still struggle with food.

They wonder, “What’s wrong with me that I can’t control my eating?”, and delay getting help because they feel like failures who “should” be able to heal their eating struggles on their own.

Spoiler alert: If you can relate, there is nothing wrong with you. In this article I’ll help you understand why capable women are uniquely prone to struggle and how to move forward in health.

The Curse of All or Nothing Dieting: How Being Good at Everything Actually Makes Healthy Eating Harder

Ironically enough, being good at everything can make healthy eating harder because you are more likely to fall into the trap of All or Nothing Dieting, where you believe you have to eat “perfectly” or “what’s the point?”

All this time you’ve probably believed that you are sabotaging yourself with poor self-control, but in reality, it’s All or Nothing Dieting claiming that even a little ice cream counts as a failure. The same logical mind that made you successful rationalizes if one bite equals failure you may as well finish the carton.

All or Nothing Dieting Stops You from Trusting Yourself Around Food

As a successful woman, you may trust yourself in professional and social situations, and wonder why that same self-trust doesn’t extend to food?

All or Nothing Dieting makes you believe you can’t trust yourself around food because:

• You learn that food makes you feel good, so emotional eating for comfort or to “zone out” become primary ways to cope with life’s discomforts.
• Restriction sets you up for the “forbidden fruit phenomenon,” where your thoughts are consumed by foods on the “no” list, ultimately leading to indulgence.
• Controlling your intake based on points, calories or carbs disconnects you from your hunger and satiety signals.

When you don’t trust yourself around food, your nervous system ends up on high-alert because food is literally everywhere, resulting in both an obsession with food and exhaustion from the constant food-vigilance and self-criticism.

4 Tips to Make Healthy Eating Easier for Capable Women Over 50

Now that you understand how All or Nothing Dieting is to blame for your food struggles (not you!), you can begin to cultivate the Courage to Trust, so you can make consistently healthy choices.

Check out the tips below:

Focus on What’s Working

With All or Nothing Dieting you are a failure with any deviation from perfection. And since eating is controlled by complex biological processes… it’s unlikely that your eating patterns will ever perfectly mimic “optimal.”

Does that mean you should give up? No! (Swinging between doing things perfectly and giving up is another example of All or Nothing).

Instead of focusing on the ways you fall short, shift your attention to the things that are working and you are doing well. Focusing on the positive will lead to more momentum for habit change.

Enlisting a friend to be your “little win accountability buddy” is a great way to get better at this. Commit to texting each other your little wins at the end of each day (or in the moment if needed!).

Friends are often much better at seeing our wins than we are, so getting another perspective can help you get better at seeing your own wins.

Heal the Effects of All or Nothing Dieting

The way All or Nothing Dieting has impacted your relationship with food is not your fault because it’s the only solution you’ve been given up until now.

And yet, if you’ve been in a pattern of All or Nothing Dieting for decades you will need to unlearn the unhelpful beliefs about food and yourself so you can eat with joy instead of eating to seek joy.

Focus on Calming Your Nervous System

A client was sharing she was struggling with nighttime eating again while preparing for a big move. She was surprised when my advice was not to plan a healthy snack or close up the kitchen at 7pm, but rather to focus on calming her nervous system.

If you check in with your body during strong eating urges, you might be surprised to find feelings akin to panic or anxiety rather than hunger.

My client realized her lack of routine associated with packing and all of the feelings related to moving into a new chapter of life were the root of her hunger. By adding in calming practices, she was able to get a handle on nighttime eating and reduce her stress!

A few calming practices you might try:

• Meditation
• Movement
• Journaling
• Writing out affirmations
• Spending time in nature

Get Support from a Registered Dietitian

A recent article in the Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics compares two paths to treating obesity.

The first path the journal refers to is “Self-directed dieting,” which leads to disordered eating, poor self-worth and weight gain through:

• Severe avoidance of food
• Flip-flopping between severe restriction and excessive intake (All or Nothing Dieting)
• Unsustainable behaviors.

The second path, which is working with a Registered Dietitian (RD) for evidence-based obesity treatment, leads to sustainable healthy behaviors, health improvements, and improved self-worth.

In my experience of walking over 100 women through my Courage to Trust Method, accomplished women often believe they should be able to solve their eating struggles on their own, and yet research shows that may be an unrealistic expectation.

To find a Registered Dietitian near you, you can search your local nutrition association:

• The United States
• Australia
• Canada
• The UK
• Or type “Registered Dietitian + (your country) + database”

Wherever you are in the world, if you are a woman in midlife and beyond who is looking for obesity treatment while creating a supportive relationship with food, your body and your health so you can eat with joy instead of eating to seek joy you are welcome to learn more about working with me.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you noticed that the pattern of All or Nothing Dieting seems to make you simultaneously obsessed with food and exhausted by it? Can you think of a friend who might want to be a “little win accountability buddy” for you? What does it feel like when you have a strong urge to eat? Do you notice panic or anxiety?

I wrote an article for the New York Weekly last October about the Rising Alcohol Use and Health Risks for Women aimed at women in their 30s and 40s. But research shows that excessive alcohol use among older women is rising and the risks for women over 50 are even greater. And even though this is relatively common knowledge, alcohol companies are targeting older women more than ever.

Advertising and Alcohol Enticement

When we look at how alcohol advertising is targeting the population of aging women, it becomes obvious that they are trying to seduce us, and it could kill us! Alcohol companies employ various strategies to market to older women:

Health-Conscious Messaging

Some brands highlight low-calories or organic options, showing a few friends getting together for a prosecco after yoga or aqua-aerobics.

Sophisticated Branding

Some brands use upscale packaging, with sophisticated and elegant branding that resonates with older women, designed to convey luxury and refinement.

Social Connection

Some alcohol campaigns portray alcohol consumption as a means of socializing and connecting with friends and family, and often feature mature women enjoying wine or cocktails in social settings, promoting the idea of shared experiences.

Influencer Partnerships

It’s become common for brands to collaborate with influencers or celebrities who resonate with older women.

Advertising Is Everywhere

It’s not just the ads showing older women drinking at virtually every celebration and get-together. But most movies and TV shows consistently show women of a certain age with a glass of wine in their hands:

And speaking of book clubs, it doesn’t take long to find memes on social media about alcohol and women and books, with so many jokes online that book groups are just an excuse to get together and drink. With memes like:

• “Our book club reads wine labels.”
• “Come to my house for book club, and by book club I mean wine.”
• “We started a book club to have a reason to drink wine.”
• “My book club can drink your book club under the table.”
• “Oh, you read important books at your book club, how sweet! We just drink wine.”

Memes targeting older women are abundant on Pinterest:

Here’s to being mature enough to celebrate wine Wednesday instead of Tequila Tuesday.

Just spend a bit of time on Facebook or Instagram:

Look for #VodSquad #WineTime; the majority of participants using these hashtags are women over 50, which is the main demographic of Facebook these days.

I can hear people thinking: Oh, it’s just a bit of fun, what’s the problem?

Alcohol, Women and Health – The Stats

According to recent data, alcohol-related deaths among women is rising at an alarming rate. The number of women dying from alcohol-related causes in the United States has increased by more than 85% from 1999 to 2020.

And those numbers are rising for older adults, particularly older women. The death rates for older women has increased from 10.2 to 12.9 for those aged 65–74, and from 4.4 to 5.3 for those aged 75 and over.

Why the Health Risks Are Different for Women

So how does alcohol impact women’s health in general and why is it different for women than men? First there is the difference in body composition and metabolism. Women usually have more body fat and less water content than men, and because alcohol is water soluble and not fat soluble, alcohol is more concentrated in a woman’s body, which leads to a higher blood alcohol concentration.

Women also tend to have a slower metabolism so they metabolize alcohol more slowly. This means that alcohol stays in a woman’s system longer, increasing its effects and its harm. Hormonal factors can also play a role in how women process alcohol. Higher estrogen levels can intensify alcohol’s impact.

The way that women’s bodies process alcohol leads to increased health risks. Women are more susceptible to alcohol related liver damage than men. Women are at a greater risk of developing alcohol induced cardiovascular diseases than men. Alcohol consumption also increases the risk of several types of cancer in women (including cancer of the mouth, throat, esophagus, liver and colon.) And drinking alcohol is associated with breast cancer in women, even at low levels of consumption.

The specific health risks for older women are more complex due to a combination of physiological, hormonal, and social factors.

Physiological Changes

First, we can consider the physiological changes: As women age, muscle mass tends to decrease while body fat increases. Alcohol is distributed in body water, so the higher fat content can lead to increased blood alcohol concentration (BAC) even if the amount consumed remains the same.

Metabolism

Then there is metabolism. The liver’s ability to metabolize alcohol declines with age. Older women often process alcohol more slowly, leading to prolonged effects.

Hormones

And of course, there are the hormonal changes with the onset of menopause. Menopause results in a decrease in estrogen levels, which can alter how alcohol affects the body. Estrogen is believed to protect against some harmful effects of alcohol, and its reduction increases vulnerability.

Chronic Conditions

There is also the obvious increased risk of chronic conditions that alcohol consumption can exacerbate. Health issues common in older women, such as hypertension, liver disease, diabetes, and certain types of cancer have increased in occurrence. And bone health is impacted, too. Alcohol can interfere with calcium absorption and bone density, increasing the risk of osteoporosis and fractures.

And finally, alcohol use can impact cognitive function. Older women are at a higher risk of developing alcohol-related dementia. Over time, excessive drinking can damage brain cells, shrink brain tissue, and impair blood flow, all of which can contribute to cognitive decline and dementia.

Women, Alcohol and Creativity

Another damaging myth that impacts women as we age is that alcohol consumption makes you more creative. (I hear this a lot in workshops!)

However, recent research completely debunks this myth.

A recent study by Essex University and Berlin’s Humboldt University, worked to debunk the myth that drugs and alcohol make a person more creative, examining hundreds of papers. It concluded that,

“It doesn’t do anything for creativity,”’ Dr Panel Hanel told The Guardian.

But this is for another article (coming soon!)

(If you’re interested, you can read my past articles about creativity and the aging brain here and here)

So with all this in mind – not to be a kill joy – but the next time you think to yourself, I have to have a bit of bubbly to make this occasion a Real Celebration, perhaps consider a few bottles of sparkling water with some colorful slices of lemon and lime, and save your body, mind and spirit!

For more articles and conversations about the effects of alcohol on women’s bodies, check out my website or my Substack.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you notice alcohol ads online or in media directed at your age group? Have you noticed your alcohol consumption changing as you’ve aged? What changes has alcohol caused to your body? Have you noticed any changes in any of your family and friends, in terms of their relationship with alcohol as they’ve gotten older?

When I first retired at the tender age of 65, I posted a reminder to myself on the fridge:

“Less is required of you!”

I needed to look at that little nugget of wisdom repeatedly. One does not seamlessly shift gears upon receipt of a first pension payment or Social Security check.

Having witnessed legions of elementary school students through my career, I can truthfully admit there is a very small subset of humans in any group of 25 that can be called Overachievers. Male or female, but most often female, these little demons are first to finish their work and ask for seconds, take on cleaning and organizing tasks in the classroom, and mentor the less fortunate souls in their orbit.

Although possibly not born into this “caste,” women frequently assume the title through the regular process of raising a family while working, or overachieving in the realm of their careers, either due to personal expectations or expectations of their work colleagues.

In my early retirement years, I half-heartedly tried to reverse this trend, but now that I passed through the portal to my septuagenarian years, I cannot keep up the charade (nor do I want to!) Overachieving is no longer a possibility!

What Does Overachieving Look Like in Retirement?

If I recorded my behavior through timelapse photography over the 8 years of my retirement, you would not see gradual changes. I believe you would only see abrupt changes around the age of 70. Such changes would be in the physical realm: an exhausted me would be doing insanely physical home tasks like my younger self and becoming angrier and angrier at my husband, who I did not even ask to help.

In the family realm, a scan of my heart would reveal incessant, worrying thoughts about my adult children, who were quite happily living their own adult lives. The timelapse photography would find me volunteering 3-4 times per week with growing resentment. Some scenes would find me in the kitchen making elaborate recipes most nights of the week and going overboard when guests were invited.

The Physical Blow Out

With the best of intentions, I was relentlessly unsuccessful in toning myself down in earlier retirement. Little signs on the refrigerator were somewhat futile. Ultimately, my body was the dreaded boss no one really wants to work for! Luckily, there was not an untoward event which landed me in the ER, just a host of pesky signs reminding me that the speed of the train needed to be reduced!

Elite Retirees Are the Worst!

Retired athletes and CEOs belong in my original overachiever group. There is a lot of material online to help these two groups adjust in their later years, and it might provide some insight for those of us in retirement who still feel the need to remain productive at unrealistic levels. Even the title of one of those pieces should inspire: Life After the Finish Line.

Professional athletes have tremendous drive and a willingness to exert themselves to their fullest potential. Shifting into retirement requires a recalibration of identity along with feelings of a loss of status. They often find abrupt lifestyle modifications challenging. Sound familiar?

Those retiring CEOs have been habituated to a frenetic environment. Does this also sound familiar? In retirement, their feelings of boredom, emptiness and a loss of self-esteem are common challenges. Additionally, ignored family dynamics move into view.

Dr. Ahmed Al-Katib writing on the website Psychiatry in Motion finds common challenges among all high achievers which might resonate with the tribe: perfectionism, constant pressure to perform, hyper-vigilance, chronic burnout and an “always on” mentality.

Why Aging Can Be the Panacea

Our bodies are NOT benevolent dictators. The brain and its partners in our physical form have not gotten the retirement memo. Unfortunately, there is no orderly transition to a more measured pace of life. Observation of peers finds frequent, unexpected breakdowns in structural elements internally and externally. The common denominator is that this body which served us well without much thought needs the attention of a Tik-Tok influencer!

Writing on Very Well Health, Anna Giorgi gives an illuminating rundown of what to expect as we age. The main offenders are muscles atrophying, stiffening connective tissues, porous bones, inept cardiac muscle and nerves, decreased lung capacity, and those senescent cells which should perish, but live on to create chaos. Overachievers? You have finally been released from bondage!

How Can an Aging Body Bring Relief?

What a pleasure it is to finally put an end to the daily, deafening playlist of “shoulds.”

Yes, “to do lists” still exist, but they are suggestions, not imperatives. Some previously dreaded tasks are off the table – dragging heavy bags of potting soil to the car, feeling like the body will self-destruct without a daily dose of exercise, fear of asking others to help, and, most importantly, feeling required to take on responsibility for issues in loved ones’ lives which they can handle perfectly well themselves.

Understandably, coming to a place of peace after a lifetime of supreme effort will take time. I find that overachieving is not and never has been a virtue. It is easy to ask for help when it is a physical imperative. The release of personal responsibility is every bit as helpful to others in one’s sphere as it is to the self.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What are some excessive behaviors you needed to change at this stage of life? Do you have any strategies that have helped you to move more deliberately at a slower pace?

The star point guard has been out with a quad injury.

The star point guard has been out with a quad injury.