Month: August 2025

Where is she going? And when?

We all are aware how often the word aging is attached to dismay or decline. For decades, we’ve been warned about wrinkles, memory slips, and dependence – as if aging is something to battle rather than embrace. I am in a course with younger women still using the anti-aging fight as their cause.

Let’s be clear, if we go into combat with aging, we lose. Aging is how life happens. So, let’s find a new way to look at it.

In many ways, aging can be deeply positive. It’s not about pretending we’re still 35, it’s about discovering new ways to feel vital, connected, and fulfilled at 60, 70, or 80 and beyond. I am curious what it means to you.

Welcome to the Positive Aging Movement

There’s an entire movement dedicated to rethinking what it means to grow older. The concept stems from the field of positive psychology, which gained traction in the 1990s. I was in my 50s and remember terms like well-being, using our strengths, flourishing, and the emphasis on inclusion of everyone. What do you recall?

This energy has more recently become a part of the conversation around aging – and it’s reshaping how we live our later life. Around 2010, the shift became more visible. Researchers, wellness experts, and even the World Health Organization began promoting living well throughout life. The focus on aging expanded from managing decline to actively creating well-being, purpose, and vitality.

An Explosion of Research

In the 21^st century, major universities have developed entire centers devoted to the study of aging well. I follow Stanford’s Center on Longevity and their ‘new map of life,’ as well as Harvard’s 85-year-long happiness study. There are many more academic centers to explore.

This research is uncovering important truths about aging: that having a positive outlook on aging can literally help us live longer and healthier lives.

One book I often recommend is Breaking the Age Code by Becca Levy, which shows how our beliefs about aging affect our bodies and brains. Other favorites include Aging Sideways by Jeanette Leardi, and Outlive by Peter Attia, MD (if you can absorb 400 pages of the medical side of healthy aging). There’s no shortage of good reading – so be selective. Focus on what resonates with you. What have you been reading about this topic?

What Does Positive Aging Actually Look Like?

It’s easy to think that aging well just means eating well, exercising, and getting a good night’s sleep. These things certainly matter. But positive aging is also about what’s going on inside you and how your life feels to you.

Here are three pillars to consider:

Meaning and Purpose

You don’t need to start a nonprofit or climb mountains (unless you want to!). Your sense of purpose might come from caregiving, volunteering, creative work, mentoring, or deepening your spiritual life. For some, it may simply be finding joy in daily rituals. What matters is if you feel a sense of meaning in contrast with aimlessness.

Connection and Belonging

We need each other and to feel like we belong. Loneliness has been shown to be as detrimental to health as smoking. Loneliness is more likely as the years go by; we are the ones who must initiate and maintain our connections. Whether it’s a weekly coffee date, a book club, or texting with grand-kids – relationships matter. Who are your people, and how do you stay connected?

Mindset

Humor, optimism, gratitude, and a belief in your ability to grow are examples of having a positive mindset. These help us face inevitable change, navigate loss, and find enjoyment in most moments. More than that, they help us notice what is possible in life and continue to expand and flourish as the years pass.

Aging Is Real

Of course, the reality is that we change as the years go by. I’m 77 now, and I notice it. Hiking takes more effort. Getting off the floor is a little less graceful. But I also notice this: I’m still evolving. I’m still learning. I still have so much to give.

And here’s what keeps me going: I picture my future self as a vibrant 90-something – curious, active, engaged. That image guides the choices I make today. Even if I don’t make it to 90, I’ll have lived with intention and joy moving in that direction.

What’s the alternative? To shrink back, disconnect, or focus only on what’s fading? No, thank you. I want to do what I can with what I have – whatever that looks like.

What About You?

Every one of us is on our own journey with aging. What makes you feel fulfilled? Where do you feel stuck? Are there small shifts you could make – to bring more connection, energy, or joy into your life?

Maybe it’s reconnecting with a friend. Maybe it’s trying something new. Maybe it’s simply noticing what’s working and savoring it.

If you’ve never thought much about “positive aging” before, now’s a good time to start. Because aging isn’t something happening to us. It’s something we get to influence through our choices, our mindset, and our hearts. Reach out anytime: connect@ardithbowman.com.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What does positive aging mean to you? What books on positive aging have you read? Which of the pillars of positive aging do you still need to work on? I’d love to hear your story.

Whenever I tell friends I only stream international television, I usually encounter the same reaction: a blank stare, or a statement which negates the “supposed” onerous task of viewing a program with subtitles. While it is true that I have always preferred Art House films, my streaming habits have little to do with pretentiousness. In my opinion, there is simply no comparison between international shows and those produced in the United States.

My husband and I are a lucky couple who look forward to streaming shows together after dinner each evening. Of course, he occasionally watches a heart pounding, chase scene thriller on his own time, and if he isn’t available, a period piece or heartbreaking tale like those on PBS Masterpiece would be my preference.

But through the years, we have settled on Nordic noir, or “any country noir” for that matter, geopolitical thrillers, and historically relevant series, most of which are produced by countries outside the United States. A list of our all-time favorites include: A French Village, Spiral, Deutschland 89, Fauda, Beck, The Bridge, and Borgen.

How Do American and International TV Shows Line Up?

There is a towering list of differences between shows produced at home (in the US) and abroad. Whenever we succumb to sampling an American show on Netflix, we are usually met with a more formulaic storyline which emphasizes high impact production techniques over storytelling. Looking for our favorite genres, we need to scroll past reality shows, sports, true crime, horror, and a variety of “light weight” dramas not intended for our generation.

The international shows we watch on our favorite platforms: Prime, MHZ, Britbox, PBS Masterpiece, and yes, Netflix, have a similar pedigree. Storytelling and character development are primary! There is an emphasis on local content and local culture. We always have one of our electronic devices nearby to locate the setting on Google Maps and to look up cultural referents. After being viewers of these shows for so many years, we sometimes feel as if we’ve really visited those locations!

Being “word people,” we always stream the show in the original language with subtitles, rather than choosing a “dubbed” version. Now, we both have very rudimentary vocabularies in Swedish, Danish, Finnish, German, Dutch, Polish, and Portuguese. We’ve been able to give our high school French and Spanish a reboot. I’ve even revived my childhood Hebrew!

One very unexpected positive result is my complete about face about the German language and German culture. Having been raised in a family of Holocaust survivors, I was imbued with an aversion to anything German. After clocking so many hours watching heroic Germans facing the rise of Fascism and navigating the fall of Communism, I have a new-found appreciation and fondness for the Germans and their country.

Benefits, Bonuses… A Bonanza!

Many of the shows we’ve seen are in the crime genre, but the deeper themes and complex characters reach far beyond the story lines. Living with the characters through all the seasons of the show on a nightly basis has encouraged us to create a “TV family.”

We invite characters who have suffered and changed for the better over a long period of time to become our TV family members. Additionally, since many of the countries have a more limited stock of actors than the US, we warmly greet them as they emerge in different roles in new shows, and we seek out new opportunities to see their work, searching online and reading the actor biographies.

Many of our favorite shows are historically accurate dramas of political significance.

We’ve seen countless shows highlighting British MI5 events. We’ve witnessed various political parties in Scandinavia struggling to cobble together a new government. We’ve seen the effects of the fall of the Berlin Wall, and even life in Vichy France, up close!

Great cinematography, smart writing, and strong performances have led us through previously unknown political upheavals in countries unfamiliar to us, resulting in broader cultural awareness and a more realistic global perspective.

We’ve extended those connections in our travels, taking cues from our favorite shows. We’ve visited WW1 memorials in small towns in the UK, the hedgerows and beaches of Normandy, The Museum of Communism in Prague, and even the bedroom of Empress “Sisi” of Austria in Vienna.

The Best Gift of All – A Personal Therapeutic Shift

The term “bibliotherapy” is a therapist’s tool which uses books and other forms of literature alongside traditional therapy to support a patient’s health. The patient is “prescribed” a work of literature, in which the main character is facing similar challenges. By reading the book privately, and then returning to discuss it with the therapist, there is the opportunity to make sense of challenging situations and unpleasant symptoms. Bibliotherapy has a long history of improving self-efficacy, and feelings of hope, contentment, and empathy.

I have been the recipient of these effects through my own extensive watch list of international series. I believe the sheer number of hours spent watching several seasons of a quality show has a profound effect on the viewer.

According to Psychologytoday.com, there are four stages of bibliotherapy. I believe the same is true for what I would call “teletherapy.” There is a strong identification with the character, her problem and goals. Although many of the characters might bear little resemblance to one’s life circumstances, there is a shared, common humanity. It is this deep connection to family challenges, work issues, and external events beyond one’s control which link me to these shows.

The next phase of this “teletherapy” is catharsis. There is the opportunity to observe very intense, well-developed situations from a safe distance. Because of this, there is a moment of insight, when it is possible to recognize the struggles of the character as being ubiquitous.

The final stage can be the most compelling – universalization. This is the stage when one recognizes she is not alone: there are others who have had similar experiences and have found ways to overcome complex challenges.

There is great value in viewing these shows later in life. There is so much lived experience to decipher at this stage. I did not consciously seek television as a therapeutic tool. Surprisingly, the quality of these productions, very quietly, has had a huge effect on my frames of reference, both global and personal.

Share Your Thoughts:

Have you had any viewing experiences which have changed your perspectives? Where do you find quality movies and shows to stream? Which are your favorite international shows? If you don’t live in the US, what do you stream on your TV?

My LED Mask That I’m Obsessed With Also Seen on Amanda Batula:

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Originally posted at: The LED Masks Stephanie Shojaee Gives The Real Housewives of Miami

The singer has had quite the year…