Month: September 2025
Why Your Second Act Doesn’t Need a Perfect Plan
If you’re over 60, you’ve probably noticed life rarely follows the script we imagined.
When we were younger, many of us carried a picture of what life “should” look like at this stage. We thought we’d be surrounded by family, enjoying grandchildren nearby, perhaps traveling with a spouse, or finally resting after decades of work. For some, pieces of that dream are true. But for many women, the reality looks much different.
Maybe your kids are distant – either geographically or emotionally. Maybe your marriage ended in divorce or widowhood. Maybe retirement doesn’t look like the glossy magazine version you envisioned.
And in the face of all that change, it’s tempting to freeze and think: “I’ll move forward when I have the perfect plan. When I know exactly what’s next.”
But here’s the truth I’ve learned, both from my own journey and from countless conversations with women like me: you don’t need a perfect plan for your second act.
The Trap of Waiting
At this stage of life, it’s easy to feel like you’re “behind.” Maybe you tell yourself you should have everything figured out by now. A new purpose. A solid routine. A clear direction.
But waiting for everything to line up perfectly is just another way of staying stuck.
We think clarity comes first – that once we know the whole path, we’ll be ready to move forward. But in reality? Clarity often comes after movement.
Think about it: when you start walking, the horizon shifts. New scenery appears. You notice things you couldn’t have seen standing still. That’s how reinvention works, too. The act of moving – of trying, experimenting, taking a chance—opens doors you didn’t even know were there.
So, if you’ve been waiting for the whole roadmap before you take your first step, here’s your gentle permission: you don’t need it.
The Beauty of Being Unfinished
Here’s a radical reframe: being unfinished isn’t failure – it’s freedom.
Our culture praises people who have it all together, but the truth is, being “finished” often means you’ve stopped growing. And none of us want to stop growing.
Unfinished means you’re still curious. Still open. Still capable of surprising yourself.
When I rebuilt my life in my 60s after a long marriage ended, I didn’t have a master plan. Honestly, I felt lost and a little broken. What saved me wasn’t a grand strategy. It was one small action at a time.
- I signed up for a class, even though I felt nervous walking in alone.
- I picked up a hobby I’d abandoned years ago.
- I said “yes” to coffee with someone who felt safe.
- I started journaling – not with perfect answers, but with honest questions.
Those small braveries stacked up. They opened new friendships, new purpose, even new joy. Not because I knew exactly where I was going, but because I was willing to move.
Practical Steps for Your Second Act
If you’re staring at a blank page for your future, don’t pressure yourself to create a masterpiece overnight. Begin with something small and doable.
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Take a class you’ve been curious about. It doesn’t have to lead anywhere – sometimes the act of learning wakes up parts of us that have been dormant.
- Call a friend and suggest something simple. Connection is often the first medicine when we feel stuck.
- Start journaling. Not to tie everything up with neat answers, but to give yourself permission to wonder and wander.
- Take yourself on a solo outing. Go to a café, a museum, or even a park. Prove to yourself that you don’t need permission to enjoy your own company.
Each of these is a single step. None require a grand plan. But taken together, they create momentum – and momentum is the soil where clarity grows.
The Invitation
So, here’s my encouragement to you: stop waiting for perfection. Stop believing the lie that you’re too late or too far behind.
Your second act isn’t waiting for a flawless roadmap. It’s waiting for you.
And the beautiful part? You get to create it as you go.
So, take one step today. Just one. And trust that the rest of the path will reveal itself in time.
Because sometimes the best chapters of our lives are the ones we never planned.
I invite you to check in over at Real Mom Life to download your free Second Act Soul Check In.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Have you been waiting for the perfect plan of your second act? What is one small step you could take today to begin to write your second act?
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What to Expect Dating a Man Over 60
If you’re a woman 60 or older looking for a man about your age, there are some expectations I want you to set. These are not meant to scare you.
First off, they might help you feel less crazy, because if you’ve been dating, surely you’ve noticed them!
Secondly, as a dating coach for the last 20 years, I feel confident in saying an eyes-wide-open approach is best.
It’s better to understand what you’re getting yourself into. That way, rather than being surprised or disillusioned, you can focus on navigating early dating.
Let me know in the comments if you’ve noticed these things about men over 60 and if there are any I forgot.
He’s Set in His Ways
By our age, we’ve been around the block enough to think we’ve learned a thing or two. We think we know ourselves, how to communicate, and what’s important in life. Men are no different. It’s not a sign of arrogance for a man to think he knows what’s right and wants to stick to his current preferences and opinions.
Try to think of it as wisdom and confidence. That said, someone who is unwilling to hear your ways of doing things and your ways of thinking is not the man for you. There is a definite balance to be struck.
There Will Be Baggage
Along with habits and behaviors that are well-calcified, there may also be past traumas. By the time we get to be over 60, we’ve weathered health issues, empty nesting, troubled relationships, harmful habits, death of loved ones, career surprises and setbacks, and so much more.
Like you, a man over 60 has a history, and it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. In a healthy relationship, two people have learned from their pasts and come together in the spirit of putting that learning into practice to make something better.
He Wants to Be Appreciated and Accepted
Men of any age really value being seen through the eyes of love and acceptance, but older men even more so. They have worked hard to be the men that they are, and sometimes overcome many great hurdles.
They know they are not perfect, but they want to be given the benefit of the doubt that they’ve tried hard, thought things through, and earned the position they’ve achieved in life. Men really like to be appreciated for their hard work, courage, and loyalty, and it makes them want to keep on providing those things until they literally physically can’t anymore. How heroic!
He Hasn’t Given Up on Love
They may be older, but they have not given up on companionship and love, or, in most cases, sex. It would be impossible to guess by looking at an older man how interested he may be in finding a partner or having an active sex life again.
Since you can never be sure, dating sites are a great place to find older, single men who are ready to find love and/or romance again. Older men tend to have fewer friendships than older women, so they are likely even lonelier than we are.
Health Can Be an Issue
It would be foolish to expect anyone over the age of 60 to have no health concerns at all. Your care and understanding will go a long way. If you end up together, you’ll both be caring for each other as you age, so don’t rule out the notion that you both come with some “liabilities” in that department to begin with.
Health issues include those in the bedroom. ED is especially prevalent among men over 60, and there is a lot you can do to understand the issues and help your partner move through them.
No Two Men Over 60 Are the Same
Don’t expect the next man over 60 to be like the last one you dated. Just like you don’t want to be compared to anyone else your man has dated, neither does he. Even though I am trying to set expectations here, the only true generalization I can make is that every man is different!
This is a little hard for us to truly grok, but it’s great news. It means none of your past disappointments mean you will be disappointed in the same way again, especially if you learn from the red flags you may have stepped over and stay focused on looking for what you most want in a loving companion.
He Can Learn New Tricks
Here’s the best news of all! Just because he’s an old dog doesn’t mean he can’t learn new tricks! Your man grew up in the ’60s, so he knows a thing or two about ch-ch-changes. Just because he’s seasoned doesn’t mean he’s not up for learning something new.
If you are young at heart enough to be reading this blog, you’re going to attract a man who is also young at heart, and that means continuously reading, seeking new knowledge and experiences, and being willing to compromise and even change in honor of love!
Believe it! Or if you are having trouble believing it, see me after class 😉
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What expectations do you have of men when dating? How do you expect them to behave? What have you learned about men over 60 so far?
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